They’d gotten her mother’s heart restarted, but had they been too late? Had she suffered brain damage from lack of oxygen? Would her heart be strong enough to keep beating?
Torn in a thousand directions, Blake laced his hands with Darby’s, knowing she wouldn’t stay seated on the waiting room sofa for long. She’d paced almost nonstop. But he wanted her to know that no matter what had happened between them the night before, this morning he was here for her. He hated what she was going through, and wished he could take away her worries. He gave her a gentle squeeze.
Her gaze dropped to their hands. Surprising him, she scooted closer and laid her head against his shoulder.
Fighting the panic rising in his chest, he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close and taking her hand back in the opposite hand.
She needed him right now. In ways that had nothing to do with their having had sex. She needed him as her friend and colleague. It was okay if he held her, comforted her. It was no more than he’d have done even if they hadn’t spent the night having sex.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been with me, Blake.”
He understood. He had felt as if he was six years old again when he’d stepped into the room and seen Darby’s mother lying on the floor. Only this time he’d known what to do. Just as Darby had.
“You’d have done everything that needed doing. Just as you always do,” he assured her, knowing it was true. Darby was the most capable woman he’d ever known.
“I felt so helpless, so weak, as if nothing I was doing made any difference,” she whispered, so low he barely heard her.
“You saved her life, Darby.”
“We both did.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m glad we were here.”
“Me, too,” he agreed, although the truth was he wished he’d never stepped foot in Armadillo Lake, never crossed lines that shouldn’t have been crossed. But now wasn’t the time to deal with his recriminations. Not when Darby’s mother fought for her life. Right now Darby needed him, and he’d be here for her. Once they were back in Knoxville he’d deal with straightening things out between them. “Armadillo Lake needs a doctor.”
“She can’t die, Blake. I couldn’t bear it if she died.” Darby’s eyes closed, her body tensed, but she didn’t say anything else.
He glanced up, his gaze meeting Darby’s oldest brother’s blue eyes. Jim didn’t say anything, just took in how Darby leaned against Blake before nodding his approval.
Would her brother be nodding if he knew Blake had stolen his sister’s virginity? That he’d taken something precious from her? Him, a man who used women for pleasure, gave pleasure in return, but never wanted anything more.
His stomach churned with guilt. Darby deserved better than what he offered women. She deserved roses, romance, and happily ever after. Things Blake had no reason to believe in, much less any desire to give.
Her entire family was in the waiting room now. Jim had called his brothers, and most had met them at the hospital. He’d driven his father and Rosy to the hospital. Blake had followed in his SUV.
“She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?” Darby spoke low, and Blake understood the reasons why. All day she’d been strong, had been the one fielding her family’s questions. Only with him did she feel she could let her guard down enough to show the slightest weakness, the slightest fear.
Her raw pain caught him in the solar plexus.
“Yes,” he answered, hoping he told the truth. Darby’s mother had suffered a myocardial infarction and, according to the emergency room physician, was currently being examined by the cardiologist on staff. Blake stroked Darby’s hair, kissed the top of her head. “She’s going to be fine, sweetheart. You’ll see.”
Blake willed that to be the case, trying not to wince at his use of the endearment. In that moment he’d have done anything to keep her from hurting, anything to comfort her and give her happiness, and quite frankly that scared the hell out of him.
“Darby, we need to talk—”
“Oh, Darby, I just heard about your mother.” Mandy Coulson and Trey Nix entered the waiting area. “Bobby had his surgery this morning,” Mandy continued, before any of them could say a word. “Trey and I have been with Cindy, waiting in his hospital room. We stepped out to get a drink and ran into Carla. She told us everything. ”
Darby tensed in Blake’s arms. Because of Mandy? Because of Nix? From desire? Hating the jealousy flowing through his green veins, Blake tightened his hold.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mother, Darby,” Nix said, standing awkwardly near them.
Darby pulled loose from Blake’s arms, straightened, smiled at the couple. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you.”
Sweet? Blake scowled.
“Is there anything we can do?” Mandy stepped closer.
Darby shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
Mandy’s gaze lowered, then she nodded, as if in understanding of Darby’s cool tone. “We’ll keep her in our prayers.”
Darby stared straight at Mandy, her expression unreadable. “Thank you.”
The cardiologist stepped into the waiting room and all eyes turned to him.
“Mrs. Phillips has suffered an acute MI, but thus far isn’t showing any major residual damage. She’s going to be admitted for observation. I’m going to do an arteriogram in the morning, but overall she’s a very lucky woman.”
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
When the cardiologist left the waiting area, Darby couldn’t resist looking to see if Blake had noticed the amount of tan flesh on display beneath Mandy’s Daisy Dukes. Her gaze collided with his dark one.
He’d been looking at her. Why?
She couldn’t read his thoughts—wished she could.
Had she really spent the night in his arms, opening her body and her heart to him? Feeling as if their souls were connected? Could one really share something so beautiful with a person and not know what to say mere hours later?
He leaned back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, eyeing her as if she were an anomaly. No doubt she was. He dated a certain type of woman, and she wasn’t it.
Her throat tightened. What was going to happen to them? Why did she even care? What was most important was that her mother was going to be okay. Still, she couldn’t look away from Blake’s dark eyes, couldn’t help but wish he loved her.
She’d leaned on him, but she’d felt his tension, felt the awkwardness in the way he held her. Everything had changed between them and it made her sick. The entire day made her sick. First what had happened with Blake, and then her mother.
“I need some fresh air,” she said, to no one in particular.
Blake stood as if to follow, maybe to confront her over what had happened between them, or maybe he’d seen the longing in her eyes and wanted to nip those thoughts in the bud.
Rising from where she sat with Trey, Mandy grabbed her hand. “I’ll go with you.”
Huh? Darby stared at her former friend, wondering why she could possibly want to go with her.
Darby didn’t say anything, just left the waiting room.
“I’m glad your mother is going to be okay,” Mandy said when they stood outside the emergency room entrance.
“Me, too.”
“I’m sorry, Darby.” Mandy stared at her hands, took a deep breath and continued. “I had no right to do what I did.”
Darby didn’t have to ask what she meant. “Why did you?”
“Trey.”
“You were the one to dump him,” Darby reminded her.
“Because I thought he had feelings for you, and then he asked you to the prom. I…” Mandy’s concerned brown eyes lifted to Darby’s. “I was wrong to do what I did, to interfere. All I can say in my defense is that I’ve always loved Trey.”
“Yet you ended things with him a second time.”
“Not because I didn’t love him.”
“Then why?”
&
nbsp; “Because I couldn’t stand that I’d destroyed our friendship over a guy.”
Mandy’s words sank in.
“What happened on prom night and the week after was poison to my relationship with Trey. I didn’t think I deserved to be happy with him, so I refused to be happy.” Mandy wrung her hands together, shrugged. “If I hadn’t broken up with him when I did he’d have dumped me, which is what I deserved, but I beat him to the punch.”
“I always thought you two would end up married,” Darby mused. “When I heard he’d taken a job out of town and married someone else I was shocked.”
“I cried myself to sleep for weeks.” Mandy’s hands twisted the thin material of her shirt. “I know it’s wrong to be happy when someone’s marriage falls apart, but when I heard Trey was divorcing I knew why I’d stayed single all these years.” She let out a deep breath. “I was waiting for him. Not because I thought he’d get divorced, but because I didn’t want anyone but him. Yet even with him single, I still can’t have him.”
“Why not?”
“My conscience won’t let me.”
“Because of what happened with me?” Darby asked in surprise, not quite believing what she was hearing. All these years she’d assumed Mandy hadn’t cared how she’d hurt her.
“It wasn’t until yesterday at the picnic, when I saw you with Blake, that I knew you and Trey weren’t meant to be together.”
Had it only been yesterday? The picnic seemed so long ago.
“You and Blake are perfect together.”
Perfect?
They’d been perfect last night in bed.
They’d been perfect partners prior to this weekend.
Now? Darby wasn’t sure perfect was the right adjective for what was happening between her and Blake.
“I envy you.” Mandy grimaced. “I have another admission to make. Despite knowing I couldn’t be with Trey, I couldn’t bring myself to mail your invitation. I wanted you here for so many reasons, yet I was scared of what might happen when you came home.” Mandy grasped her arm. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Surprised by all the emotional swings the weekend had brought, Darby glanced at the woman who’d once been her best friend, thought about all that had transpired, and tried to let go of past hurts. “I can forgive you, but I’m not sure I have it in me to do more than that. Too much has happened, too many hurts.”
Tears shining in her eyes, Mandy nodded.
“Darby, is everything okay?”
Darby turned, stared at Trey, then beyond him to where Blake stood. Apparently both men had tired of waiting and come in search of them.
Seeing Trey’s gaze go beyond her to Mandy, Darby nodded. “Everything’s fine.”
Except that her mother was lying in a hospital bed fighting for her life and she’d once again fallen for a man who didn’t love her.
Darby and Blake watched Mandy and Trey leave. Mandy turned and waved. With a forced smile on her face, Darby waved back.
“What happened between you and Mandy?”
“We aired a few things.” She turned to look at Blake, wondering how she could be so aware of him physically even when they stood outside the hospital. “I’m not going back to Knoxville tonight.”
“I suspected as much. Do you want me to get us a hotel room here in Pea Ridge?”
Did she? Maybe if they were alone they could talk—could air things between them, too. Like the fact that she loved him and didn’t want to go back to things being the way they were.
“That would be great.”
“I’ll call Dr. Kingston and ask him to cover for us. And I’ll get in touch with our office manager and let her know what’s going on, so she can reschedule our appointments for tomorrow.”
She nodded. “You’re sure you don’t mind staying another night? You could go home tonight.”
“I’m not leaving you to face this alone, Darby.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t point out that she wouldn’t be alone, that she’d have her family. Because when she closed her eyes tonight she wanted to be wrapped in his arms, with him purging the awful memories of the day, replacing them with new memories, memories full of hope for a better tomorrow.
But late that night, when they arrived at the hotel, Blake did leave her alone.
Alone in a hotel room, with him in a room across the hallway.
Darby cried herself to sleep.
Darby’s mother’s procedure went well the following day, and although she had mixed feelings about leaving, Darby knew she and Blake had to go home. If only long enough for her to pack a few things and drive back down by herself. Blake could cover at the office for however long was needed.
Jim walked them out to the parking lot.
Darby hugged her brother goodbye. “I’ll keep my phone on me at all times. If anything changes, anything at all, you’ll call?”
He nodded. “I don’t know why you’re asking me. If something changes you’ll know before I do. I saw you give the doctor and nurses specific instructions on calling you.”
“I don’t feel right about leaving,” she said for the dozenth time.
“I know.” Jim put his arm around her. “But the doctor says she’s going to be fine.”
Her brother was right, of course.
She turned to Blake, found him watching her, and battled her conflicting desire to pound him with her fists and to lean against his broad shoulders.
They’d barely said two words to each other all day. He’d been with her all the time, but in the background, on the periphery of her life. Was he foreshadowing what to expect when they returned to Knoxville?
When she’d said her goodbyes to her brother, Darby rested her throbbing head against Blake’s passenger seat.
“Hungry?”
She shook her head. Food was the last thing she wanted.
“You’ve not eaten anything since what little you nibbled at breakfast,” he pointed out. “I’m starved.”
“You can stop somewhere, but I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat, too.”
Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that Blake was right. “Fine. I’ll eat.”
He pulled into a sandwich shop. They went in and ordered sandwiches, fruit, and drinks. Darby ate more than she’d thought she would, and felt better than she had when they’d arrived at the shop. Her headache had even eased.
If only her heartache would.
Blake stared straight ahead, as if the oncoming interstate traffic was the most fascinating view in the world.
As if he wasn’t aware that Darby had given up trying to make conversation, had given up pretending to be asleep and instead had been intently watching him for the past thirty minutes. Her gaze hadn’t budged.
Although he was acutely aware of her, he made no acknowledgement of her stare. To do that would open up more conversation attempts, and at the moment talking with Darby was the last thing he wanted.
What he wanted was to punch something.
He couldn’t look at Darby and not want her.
He couldn’t want her because then he’d want to act upon that want. And to do that would confuse things even more.
Which was why he’d gotten them separate hotel rooms the night before. Darby was vulnerable because of what had happened with her mother, what had happened between them. He’d had no right to take advantage of that vulnerability a second night.
He liked Knoxville. Having moved so many times during his youth, he hadn’t really known what he was missing, but now, having been in the same place for several years, he liked the sense of belonging he’d found. Liked the feeling enough to want to protect the life he’d made for himself.
A home, a job, a partner he depended upon. The good life he’d made for himself had evolved around Darby. They shared the same friends from medical school, shared colleagues, shared a clinic.
If he pursued her sexually, when it ended that life would fall down around him.
His best plan of action was to do as he�
�d done since yesterday. Act as if their making love had been no big deal, and hope that with time their relationship would smooth back out, that he and Darby could be friends again.
All he had to do was convince himself that sex with Darby had been no big deal.
CHAPTER NINE
“GOOD morning, Mr. Hill,” Darby greeted the thin man lying in his hospital bed, a grumpy expression on his wrinkled face.
“It would be a good Tuesday morning if you’d tell me I can go home.”
“Let me see how that leg is doing, then we’ll talk.”
Talk. As she and Blake hadn’t done. The drive home last night had been almost unbearable.
Oh, they’d made occasional small talk, but that had been the extent of their conversation.
What had they done?
Better yet, what were they going to do?
How was she supposed to greet him this morning? As her business partner, or as the man she’d made love to repeatedly on Saturday evening and again on Sunday morning?
For Blake, sex was sex. She knew that. Knew that she had to pretend what had happened between them was no big deal because otherwise she’d lose him forever.
Only she wasn’t sure she could.
Too much had happened over the weekend.
Too many old wounds opened. Too many questions raised. Too many new emotions that felt too right.
“Does that look mean I’m not going home?” Mr. Hill asked, pulling Darby back to the present.
“I’m afraid not,” she admitted, replacing the wet dressing on his leg ulcer. “At least not for several more days. The good news is that your leg is healing, slowly but surely.”
“I can’t heal at home?”
Home.
Longing pierced her heart. Home is where the heart is. So where was home? Knoxville? Armadillo Lake?
“No, I’m sorry, you can’t.”
She spent a few more minutes talking to him, then left his hospital room. She’d barely taken two steps into the hallway when Blake came out of a patient’s room.
The Surgeon's Miracle / Dr Di Angelo's Baby Bombshell Page 27
