ALPHA (Mackenzie Grey #3)

by Karina Espinosa

  “Get out of my way,” he pushed past me, and I almost fell over.

  “What the hell is your problem, asshole?” I yelled louder than I should have.

  Ranulf poked his head out of the sitting room and peered down the hallway.

  “Hey…” I waved. “Yeah…I was just on my way.”

  I sped walked to him and ducked under his arm to find everyone sitting with their tea, waiting on me.

  “Sorry for being late,” I mumbled as Helena motioned me over to an empty chair. A tea cup and saucer were already in front of me, as she brought over milk and sugar. “I don’t know how to drink this,” I whispered to her but I was sure everyone heard me.

  “Start off with a little sugar and milk and adjust as ye taste it,” she smiled and I thanked her. She exited and gosh I didn’t want her to leave.

  “Helena told us ye were resting. Are ye ill, darling?” Ivana asked with concern. Doubt she cared about her husband’s bastard kid.

  “I’m fine, just tired,” I stared at Alexander and scratched at the cut on my cheek. “It’s been a long day.”

  “I’m sure it has been. Xander was telling us what happened this morning with the horses. I’m so sorry, ye must have been scared,” she clutched at her pearls and I wanted to laugh.

  “Xander?” I questioned.

  “My apologies, I meant Alexander,” she smiled. “But enough of that, I heard ye went into Sheunta today. How was it?” she asked.

  I peered over at Ranulf who stood by the door, watching me. “It was fine,” I shrugged.

  “Wonderful! We should go shopping sometime, I’m sure ye’d love it!”

  “Uh…”

  “Mackenzie doesn’t like that kind of stuff,” Bash interjected for me. Bless his heart because I was not going to pretend to be the daughter she never had and always wanted.

  “Nonsense. What young woman doesn’t like to spend a little money and feel pretty?” she asked rhetorically.

  “Aye,” Alexander agreed. “She has a birthday soon. Changing her…wardrobe wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

  “A birthday?” Ivana, Sebastian, and Jonah said at once.

  “Fuck…” I muttered.

  “Darling, we haven’t had a royal ball in ages. We must have a coming out party for Mackenzie. I insist,” Ivana urged.

  “A what now?” I grimaced.

  “You have a birthday?” Jonah whispered to me.

  “Duh,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s usually the day you’re born.”

  “I know what it is,” he gritted, “but you never told us when.”

  “You didn’t ask,” I shrugged. “I don’t need a party, it’s unnecessary,” I said to Ivana.

  “Xander, she must if our people are to accept her as their Princess.”

  I wanted to strangle this woman. A coming out whatever, was never part of the deal and now they want to act like it’s a requirement? Fuck this shit.

  “I don’t do parties and I don’t do fluffy dresses, so you can toss this idea,” I argued. “I’m here for a trial and to find out who killed my friends. That’s it.”

  A silence filled the room as everyone avoided my gaze. I’d bet it had something to do with what they were discussing before I arrived. They don’t want to tell the people of Sheunta that I massacred a group of King’s Guards in revenge for the Lunas—whatever—that was their prerogative, but it didn’t mean I had to play pretend either. It wasn’t what I signed up for.

  “Ye donae care what others think of ye?” Alexander asked as he pressed two fingers over his lips.

  I scoffed. “Hell no. If I start worrying about that, it’ll drive me crazy. At the end of the day, their opinions of me mean jack shit. It’s opinion, not facts.”

  “It does matter,” he countered. “No matter where ye go in the world, ye will always be known as the Lycan Princess. Yer eyes don lie.”

  “So what? I have to pretend to behave for the sake of your family’s name?” The audacity they had at even insinuating that. I didn’t ask for this—any of it.

  “For yer sake, Mackenzie,” he said. “If ye want to stay alive.”

  ****

  Tea was probably the single most disgusting drink I’d ever had besides tequila. I couldn’t get the right measurement of milk and sugar and ended up making it too sweet. For the rest of afternoon tea, everyone bickered about me—arranging plans for the trial and my birthday—as if I weren’t there. I took a cue from Sebastian and just shut the hell up. Arguing wasn’t getting my point across because they weren’t listening. My thoughts as a Luna didn’t matter, bringing Lucian’s words to the forefront of my mind: Things were different here. I couldn’t get away with anything like I did back home. My antics weren’t tolerated and it made me feel small—like a cantankerous child.

  “You’ve never been this quiet, what’s wrong?” Jonah inquired as we walked into the common room of the guest wing.

  “What isn’t wrong?” I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. “I can’t get two words in without getting shut out as if I’m not there. And the both of you don’t make it any better!”

  I stomped over to the dining area and found a coffee pot with a bag of coffee grounds beside it. I almost sagged in relief as I started to make a pot. The aroma alone made my mouth salivate. This was my crack and I needed a fix.

  “Excuse me,” Helena interrupted. “Mr. Cadwell, King Alexander would like a word.” She worried her hands as she stood under the door frame. Those pale eyes hopped from each of our frustrated and angry faces—particularly mine.

  “Of course, thank you,” Jonah said and she walked out of the common room.

  “What does he want?” I asked.

  “Relax, Kenz, the plan is in motion. I spoke to him earlier today about wanting to know the details of our trial. To be able to defend ourselves—mainly you—when the Summit arrives.”

  “I can defend myself,” I growled.

  “Stop being stubborn!” Bash roared. “Quit with the childish antics. We know you’re independent, Mackenzie, and God knows we’re aware of how strong you are, but this is bigger than you and us. Something is going on that we’re not fully aware of, and we need to be smart about it!”

  I flinched as his blue eyes turned to sapphire globes. They radiated with a fierceness I’d only seen a few times before—the last time being when Logan came up in conversation. His jaw ticked with controlled rage as he ran a hand through his blue-black hair.

  Of course I was being stubborn, but to hear that I was being childish struck a nerve in me. Learning about my adoption, the loss of Blu, Logan, and everything in between, I was an emotional wreck and didn’t know which way was up or down. Maybe Blu was right about me throwing myself the biggest pity party this world has ever seen, but damnit, I did feel sorry for myself.

  “What happened to me…” I muttered to no one in particular.

  “Kenzie—” Jonah started.

  “Don’t,” Bash extended his arm across Jonah’s chest. “Stop babying her and telling her things will be alright. Just stop.”

  Jonah pushed his arm away and glowered. “And what? Be cold and detached like you? Tell her everything is going to shit and there’s nothing we can do about it?”

  “We need to stop putting up with her shit! It’s one of the million reasons why we’re here!” Sebastian yelled. “We let her do as she pleases in a world she knows nothing about, and now we’re paying the consequence!”

  “Why is that, genius?” A scowl marred his angelic face. I couldn’t stop the train wreck happening before my eyes. The thing I had wanted to avoid, tearing their friendship apart, and here it was.

  “Because we let her—”

  “No, it’s because we love her!” Jonah exclaimed and everything froze. I held my breath as they stared at each other wide eyed. “We love her…and because of it, we won’t be able to protect her.”

  His milk chocolate eyes turned to me with so much sadness. There was nothing I could say to make any of this alright. I couldn�
��t tell him what he wanted to hear—I wouldn’t lead him on without knowing what I felt for either one of them.

  Once Jonah realized I wouldn’t be salvaging the situation, his features hardened and he stormed out of the room. Slamming the door without looking back.

  Blu was right—I had to make a choice—and soon.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jonah didn’t come back that night. Bash and I both waited for him in the common room but he never showed. He barely spoke to us during dinner making it even more awkward with the King and Queen. He excused himself early on, so we didn’t get the chance to corner him—it didn’t matter either way. Ivana held me up by talking about our dress shopping adventure tomorrow and the array of colors that complemented my eyes. I could wear a potato sack for all I gave a shit, but of course I couldn’t tell her that. The King ignored me as usual, but managed to remind me of our horseback riding in the morning. Someone shoot me now.

  “It’s late, we should just go to bed,” Bash said as he flipped through the channels on the TV. “He isn’t coming.”

  We hadn’t spoken about the declaration Jonah made. If I was uncomfortable about it, so was Bash.

  “He’ll be back, he has to. Where will he sleep?” I said as I reached for my coffee.

  “Have you seen this place? There’s a ton of rooms and we’re the last people he wants to see at the moment. He needs some space so let’s give it to him.”

  I shook my head. “No, not Jonah, he would be pissed if we didn’t at least try to—”

  “Mackenzie,” Bash cut me off. “You don’t know him like I do. Trust me, he needs space.”

  He was right—as always. I didn’t know them the way they knew each other. The ins and outs of their personality—what made them tick, what made them feel safe—I was clueless.

  “Fine,” I mumbled and unfolded my legs to stand. My ass had made a permanent indention on the floral sofa. “I guess I’ll just go to bed.”

  Sebastian’s hand gripped my wrist.

  “We need to talk,” he whispered and my stomach dropped. Oh no, not now.

  “The Plan,” he started. “I need to know that we can count on you. That you’ll do your part and not let your temper get in the way.”

  I sagged into the sofa. “Of course,” I nodded. “I may not like it, but I won’t mess it up. We’re in this together.” I stuck my pinky finger out to Bash and waited for him to do the same.

  “What?” he looked down at my finger and then raised an eyebrow.

  I sighed and reached for his hand—interlocking our pinkies. “It’s a pinky promise, you outdated loser. It’s the most sacred of oaths one could ever make,” I said as I wiggled my brows and grinned.

  Bash pulled away. “Humans and their weird customs,” he muttered.

  “Don’t knock it till you try it,” I said as we sat back and sighed. Our fingers were splayed on the sofa, just inches apart and I ached to reach over and hold his hand. Any innocent, physical contact to assure me that I wasn’t alone.

  I laughed as I stared at our hands. His way too big, and mine slender and long. “Do you remember that night at the New York City Library?”

  “What?” he asked, confused. I didn’t look up, I’d lose my nerve.

  “Our sleepover at the library when you taught me self-defense. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

  His breath hitched. “No.”

  I nodded, smiling. “After I turned you down, you said it would be a privilege for me to be with you—”

  “Mackenzie,” Bash reached over as if he knew my need and gripped my hand. “That wasn’t true.”

  “I know,” I shrugged and he tilted my chin so I would look at him.

  “No you don’t,” he shook his head. “When I met you, you threw my world upside down. I didn’t know what to do, how to control you, much less talk to you. You were outlandish, brash, and in desperate need of soap in your mouth.”

  “Tell me how you really feel,” I laughed.

  The side of his mouth tipped up and his eyes shone with mischief as they roamed my face. “But you also had a courage and independence that some of my own captains didn’t possess. A passion to help others that is extraordinarily rare. Mackenzie—you’re an exceptional creature, so no,” he squeezed my hand and I couldn’t tear my gaze away. “It isn’t a privilege for you to be with me—it’s a privilege for me to be with you.”

  What I did next was something I would never be able to take back. It would change the dynamic between all of us and potentially destroy us in the process, but at that precise moment, I couldn’t control a single fiber of my being. I was no longer thinking with my head, but with my heart.

  I gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him towards me. Our lips slammed onto one another with such ferocity I thought we would tear each other apart. It took Bash less than a second to react. His arm wrapped around me, bringing me so close my hands were stuck between our chests.

  He took my breath away—literally. We kissed one another as if we were the only source of oxygen. He licked and nipped my bottom lip, causing a groan to escape and I tried to pull him closer—I needed more.

  As if my body had a mind of its own, I swiftly straddled him, taking control—and he didn’t object—making me more ravenous with each kiss. My hips moved over him on their own accord and I shivered with uncontrolled lust. The wolf inside of me purred with each touch and we panted as we gasped for air.

  “Mackenzie,” Bash whispered between kisses.

  “Shut up,” I moaned. “Don’t stop.”

  He groaned. “Mackenzie, stop.”

  I pulled back with a huff. “Why?”

  Sebastian chuckled. “Because someone’s at the door.”

  A bucket of ice water poured over me and I jumped off Bash’s lap in horror. “Fuck. Jonah,” I gasped.

  Bash frowned. “It’s not him. It’s Helena.”

  “Oh,” I muttered. I aimlessly walked to the door of the common room and pulled it open.

  “Sorry to bother ye, Chickie, but I wanted to give ye some fresh towels for the morning. I thought ye’d be asleep but I saw the light on,” she blushed.

  “No worries, Helena. Thank you,” I mumbled.

  “Do ye need anything else, Hen?”

  I shook my head.

  “Then have a good night,” she smiled and left the room.

  I turned back expecting to find Bash waiting for me but all I saw was an empty sofa and his bedroom door slamming in his wake. Shit. What have I done?

  ****

  “What do ye think of this one?” Ivana said. She pulled out a bright purple tulle dress that could hide a damn Escalade under the skirt.

  “Uh…I get this is supposed to be a ball of some sorts but it’s still the twenty first century. I’m not rolling in there like a hybrid of Barney and Cinderella,” I motioned for her to continue while I sat on top of the register counter of a closed clothing shop. This wasn’t my idea of a good time, but anything sounded great if it beat sitting in the common room of the guest wing with Sebastian. He was gone when I awoke for horseback riding with the King and I didn’t want to stick around in case he returned. I didn’t know what possessed me last night. The guilt was heavy while another part of me yearned for a repeat. Gosh, I was going to hell.

  The store was empty since I was accompanied by the Queen, and it was no longer opened to the public. We were free to roam around as we pleased, giving me the great pleasure of mulling in my own self-pity. Five of the Queens guards spread out covering the exits, while Ranulf stuck close by me.

  “Hey, so why does Ivana get five body guards and I’m stuck with only you?” I asked Ranulf while Ivana dug through a rack of fluffy dresses. This was going to be a very long day.

  “Because five guards are still nae as good as me. Yer more protected than the Queen,” he glared.

  “Well aren’t you full of yourself,” I snorted.

  “No, I speak the truth,” he said. “Come by the barracks one of these
days and ye’ll see.”

  “Maybe I will,” I smiled but he didn’t return it. One of my goals this trip was to make Ranulf like me. He had to…everyone did…well not everyone. Oh whatever, he just had to. Out of everyone who despises me, I actually didn’t do anything to him.

  “Oh! This one!” Ivana squealed as she raised another barf of colors with too much tulle.

  “Ivana, please, just stop.” I groaned and covered my face with both hands. “This is a nightmare.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was just trying to help.”

  An elbow jabbed its way into my ribs and I nearly fell off the counter. “What the fuck?”

  “Mackenzie,” Ranulf scolded as he nodded toward Ivana. Her face was tinged with pink and pitiful. She bit her lip as she rung her fingers and I swore she was about to break out in tears—over a stupid dress. Fuck me.

  I slid off the counter and tip toed toward her, making sure I didn’t get too close in case she broke out into an uncontainable sob.

  “Look, I didn’t mean that. These just aren’t my style,” I said as I peered over my clothing. I wore ripped jeans and a faded Foo Fighters t-shirt that had seen the washer a little too much.

  “Oh, I understand. I’m also the last person ye want to spend time with,” she gazed longingly away and I wanted to groan. And here I thought Lucian was theatrical.

  “Why would you say that? If I didn’t want to be here, I would have said something,” I lied.

  She played with a strand of fabric, avoiding eye contact. “I know, but I want ye to like me. I wasn’t too sure when Xander told me about ye, but I enjoy having ye around, Mackenzie,” she looked up at me. “I want us to be close. I know I cannae replace yer mum, but I want to at least be yer friend,” she smiled and I felt bad for the lady. She pushed her auburn bangs to the side and I got a good look at her glossy brown eyes. I never imagined what it was like for her, the wife, to have to come face to face with the product of her husband’s affair. She’d been so nice and welcoming the minute I arrived and here I was telling her how much of a nightmare going shopping with her was.