Except for one thing. It wasn't lust. It was love.
Abbie pressed her face to Flynn's neck and whimpered as she climaxed again. He was the wrong man. The worst man. He would be gone by the end of the week.
He slid his hands under her buttocks and tilted her to meet his thrusts.
Damn him. She loved him, anyway. She clasped her legs behind his waist and bit his shoulder.
He wrapped her hair around his fist to tug her head back. Without breaking the rhythm of his hips, he absorbed her burst of anger with his kiss. He made love to her mouth and her body as if there were no watches to check or schedules to keep. He turned the moment into something precious, taking her with him as he shuddered and whispered her name.
Abbie hung on as the tremors faded. The room gradually came back into focus, but her thoughts still spun. What had she done? What on earth would she do now?
Flynn eased his weight onto his knees and elbows, kissed the tip of her nose and looked at her. He didn't say anything. No lover's endearment. No clever phrase to make light of the moment. No lies. Instead he smiled.
If Abbie hadn't already fallen in love, that smile would have sent her tumbling over the edge. It was more than a curving of his perfect mouth and a glimpse of his dimples. It was a smile that came from within the lonely boy who had been left behind by everyone but the mythical figures in the constellations. He claimed he didn't want love and yet he was always there when she needed him, giving her the strength to get through the twists in the road of life….
Her thoughts steadied. Yes, he was there for her. The bond between them was far more than one of duty. It all seemed so obvious. He wasn't the wrong man, her list had been wrong. Love couldn't be scheduled or planned. It simply happened. And she couldn't imagine loving any other man but Flynn. She smiled back.
"That's the one," he murmured, tracing her lips with his finger.
"Mmm?"
"That smile. It always gets to me. What are you thinking?"
"Do you want me to be honest?"
He rubbed his knee along her thigh. "I don't believe you know how to be anything but honest."
"You may not like what you hear," she said, echoing the words he'd said to her the day before.
"I'll take my chances."
"I think I'm in love with you, Flynn."
He went completely still. Fierce joy danced across his face. His eyes gleamed for an instant. Then it was as if a door slammed somewhere deep inside. The joy disappeared. He rolled to his back. "Abbie…no."
She got to her knees and put her hand on his chest. Her gaze was caught by the red mark on his shoulder, evidence of the passion of moments ago. This might not be the best time to talk, but if she didn't say this now, when would she get the chance again? She ran her fingers over the imprint her teeth had left in his skin. "I don't like it any more than you do, Flynn, but it isn't something I can control."
"I thought you understood what's between us."
"It's you who doesn't understand. You claim you don't want love, but you know how to give it. You've been showing what's inside you with everything you do." She pressed her hand over his heart. "I grew up surrounded by love, but all it took was one bad experience and I did my best to protect myself against being hurt again. You've had so many bad experiences, I'm amazed that you're as good a man as you are."
"I told you before, Abbie. You're an idealist. The world doesn't work the way you want it to."
"It can with the right person. After Stuart left me, I sheltered my feelings behind my rigid ideas of what I thought I wanted. It took meeting you and being swept up in the reality of this mission to jar me out of the walls I'd built."
"Abbie…"
"I know why you say you don't want love. You've been left behind so many times, you're afraid to reach out again."
He sat up and swung his feet to the floor. "You don't know me."
"Yes, I do. My family is my rock. You never had that. Your mother left, and your father was seldom there. From the sound of it, your stepmothers didn't try to be close—"
"Abbie, my mother didn't leave."
"You told me you hadn't seen her since you were six."
He looked at her over his shoulder. "That's right. She didn't leave. She died."
Abbie had thought she understood, but it was worse than she'd imagined. "Oh, Flynn. I'm sorry." She fitted herself to his back. "I'm so sorry. You were so young. Was it an accident?"
"No. It was her choice."
"What do you mean."
"She killed herself, Abbie."
Her heart squeezed hard. She couldn't have heard him right. He'd said it so matter-of-factly. "She…"
"She got depressed when my father was away. They had screaming matches when he was home. She was taking medication for her mood swings and one day she decided to take the whole bottle."
"Oh, Flynn. She couldn't have meant—"
"She meant to, all right. Her note made her intentions perfectly clear. She left the note beside the cookie jar to make sure I'd find it when I got home from school. The doctor said she must have swallowed the pills as soon as I'd left the house that morning so she'd been dead for hours when I called the ambulance."
"You…" This was horrible. Unthinkable. A six-year-old child, coming home, calling for his mother and instead finding…"You had to call the ambulance?"
"My father was in Bolivia that time. She planned it that way. No one else was there."
"My God. You were only six."
"Like I said, I learned my lesson early."
"Oh, Flynn."
He reached behind him and hauled her from the mattress onto his lap. "Don't pity me, Abbie. I didn't tell you this to get your sympathy. I told you so that you'd understand."
"Pity isn't what I feel, Flynn."
"You dream of a home and a family and a kind of forever love. Some people aren't meant for that. I've already seen what happens when a man who wants his freedom meets a woman who wants a home. It won't work." He looked at her, his gaze as naked as his body. "I need my freedom, Abbie. It's how I survive. The pleasure of the moment is safe. It's the dreams that will kill you."
What could she say? Like everything else about the past week, this was beyond her experience. To lose a parent was tragic, but to lose one to suicide…Oh, God. Was it any wonder that Flynn would build barriers around his heart? "We've had different lives, but we still want the same things. I can see it in your eyes, Flynn. I feel it in the way you hold me."
"This is what you feel," he said, shifting her to bring her hip against his groin. "Two people enjoying a physical attraction."
"I'm not denying that, but it's more."
"Sure, it's more." He cupped her breast in his palm as he rubbed his thumb over the tip. "It's an exceptionally strong physical attraction."
How could she want to hug him and bite him at the same time? She straddled his lap. "And why do you think the attraction is so strong?"
"Chemistry."
"No, it's love."
He ran his hands along the inside of her thighs. "Sex."
She licked his ear. "Love."
He groaned and spread his fingers. "Mutual enjoyment."
She trailed her palm down his chest. There was no point arguing. She was simply going to have to show him.
* * *
A dull, gray dawn was gathering in the sky to the east as Flynn guided the bike along the lane to the warehouse. Abbie tasted moisture in the air and glanced at the low-hanging clouds. A storm front was moving in. It would rain soon, but there was nothing she could do about the weather. There weren't many things in life one could truly control.
Flynn coasted to a stop near the junkyard fence and let the engine idle. He pulled off his helmet and twisted part-way around on the seat to look at her. Morning stubble darkened his jaw. His hair was a tousled mass of black curls. He looked tough and adorable at the same time.
Abbie took off her helmet and reached out to smooth his hair. "Thanks for keeping it under six
ty on the ride back."
"There was no point hurrying." He caught her hand and placed a kiss in her palm. "They're going to know why we took so long, Abbie."
She glanced at the closed doors of the warehouse. She knew their arrival was being monitored by the soldier on guard duty. "Yes, I realize that."
"They're a decent bunch of guys so I'm not expecting any trouble, but if they treat you with anything other than respect—"
"Flynn, it doesn't matter."
"It does to me."
She put her hand on his thigh. "They have more important things to concern themselves with than our love life. They're probably planning the raid on the LLA's base."
The edge of his jaw sharpened as he clenched his teeth. "I don't want you to carry the ransom, Abbie."
"We've been through this already. I'll do whatever I can."
"Not after last night."
A drop of rain fell on the back of her hand. More sprinkled the pavement around them. "Why? Because we made love? That didn't seem to change anything as far as you're concerned."
He didn't reply.
"Well, did it?"
"I don't want to see you get hurt, Abbie."
Too late, she thought. She'd been destined to get hurt from the moment she'd seen him on her doorstep. She had new sympathy for moths. "It's a risk I'm willing to take. I've learned a lot about courage in the past few days."
He flinched. He had to know they were talking about more than just the mission. "Abbie…"
"It's raining. We should go inside."
He turned up his collar. "I should apologize, but I can't. I'm not sorry about spending the night in your bed. What happened between us was special, Abbie. I'll never forget it."
Oh, God. Why did this sound like a goodbye? "Yes, it was special, Flynn. Because it was love."
The rain grew heavier. He didn't argue. They'd been through this already, and she hadn't been able to change his mind. He grasped her chin. In full view of whoever was guarding the warehouse door, he tilted her face to his and held her steady as he sealed his mouth over hers.
The kiss didn't feel like a goodbye. It was as sweet as a promise. And as fragile as hope. Abbie didn't hold back. She poured out everything she felt, using her lips the way she had used her body the night before.
Yes, she had learned about courage in the past few days. But she'd also learned about fear. What if her love wasn't enough to draw Flynn out from the barriers around his heart? What if he was right, if they were too different to have a future together? The mission would be over by Friday. Did she really think she could change his mind by then?
She was grateful for the rain. She wouldn't need to explain why her cheeks were wet when Flynn put the bike back in gear and drove inside the warehouse.
Abbie sensed the tension in the air the moment they entered the tent. At first she thought it was directed at her and Flynn, but then she saw Major Redinger standing by the communications table with a telephone pressed to his ear. Sarah stood beside him, her expression somber, while several men halted what they were doing in order to listen.
Abbie followed Flynn across the floor until they could hear the major's words.
"Yes, sir," he said. "We are working on contingency plans in any case."
Who was he talking to? Had the latest demand from the LLA already come in? Abbie wondered, peeling off her wet jacket. Someone would have called them, wouldn't they? She glanced at Flynn, but she could tell nothing from his expression. He was back in his soldier mode.
Well, what had she expected? These people were his family, the army was the only real home he'd ever known. He'd carved a life for himself with them. She was the outsider here.
"I understand, Mr. President. Thank you for your confidence. Please be assured we will do our best."
Abbie's hands tightened on her jacket. Water squeezed between her fingers to drip on the floor. She jerked her gaze back to the major. Mr. President?
Redinger caught sight of Flynn and Abbie as he ended the call. He motioned to Sarah to accompany him and walked over to intercept them. "I have just learned that King Kristof wishes to postpone the signing of the pact between Ladavia and the United States until his niece's son is found." His gaze moved to Abbie. "The stakes are going up. I hope we can still count on your cooperation, Miss Locke."
She brushed her wet hair from her face. "Of course."
"You were gone a considerable amount of time. Did you have any problems reassuring your family about your continued absence?"
"No."
"Good. The next twenty-four hours will be crucial. We can't afford any leaks." He turned to Flynn. "You're relieved of your current duty, Sergeant. Captain Fox will see to Miss Locke's welfare from this point onward. Get yourself cleaned up and report to Chief Warrant Officer Esposito. He'll be leading the raid on the base."
"Sir?"
Redinger's gaze firmed to steel. "Dismissed."
Flynn hesitated. He looked at Abbie.
"You were warned once, O'Toole," the major said.
He saluted stiffly and moved off.
Abbie watched him go. He hadn't looked surprised by the major's orders. Had he expected this? She wanted to call him back. It was happening too fast.
But this wasn't about her or about him. It was about a terrorist kidnapping that was escalating into an international crisis. While she had been outside in the rain kissing Flynn, the major had been talking to the president. What were one woman's feelings compared to that? The last lingering traces of warmth from her night with Flynn dissolved. She shivered.
Sarah took Abbie's arm and steered her toward the cubicle they shared. "You need to warm up and change into something dry. You're dripping all over the floor."
"No, I'm fine," she said, watching Flynn over her shoulder.
"Let him go, Abbie. I thought you were smarter than that."
She looked at Sarah. "I don't know what you mean."
Sarah ducked through the canvas flap to their cubicle. She returned with a towel and Abbie's peach-colored jogging suit, then led her to the warehouse shower room and rapped on the door. When there was no reply, she flipped the sign on the doorknob and ushered Abbie inside. As soon as the door closed behind them, she turned to face her. "You slept with him, didn't you?"
There was no point pretending innocence. As Flynn had said, everyone knew why they were so late. He'd been concerned that the men might say something. Instead it was the team's lone woman. Abbie hung her wet jacket from a hook on the wall and met Sarah's gaze. "Yes, I did."
"Well, at least you held out longer than most. You can take credit for that much." She handed Abbie the towel and placed her clothes on the bench beside the wall. "You're not his usual type, you know."
"I'm aware of that."
"And it doesn't bother you?"
"No. I think Flynn has done exactly what I've been doing."
"And what's that?"
"We both tried to stick to the type of people who had no chance of reaching our hearts."
Sarah sighed. "Flynn isn't interested in your heart, Abbie. I can understand how he'd wear you down, though. As far as eye candy goes, he's in a class by himself, but—"
"Is that all you think he is? Eye candy?" Abbie yanked off her wet sweater, draped it over the bench and used the towel to dry her hair. "That's not how I see him. He uses his looks as a shield. He doesn't want anyone to get close to him."
"Not to hear him tell it. He's not exactly a monk."
Abbie pulled off her pants, shook the water from them and draped them over the bench with her sweater. "I'm not talking about sex." She sat down to dry her legs. "I'm talking about real closeness."
"And why would he be afraid of that?"
Abbie finished wiping the moisture from her skin and pulled on her jogging suit. "We all have our own reasons. Considering his childhood, Flynn's are more valid than most."
Sarah sat on the other end of the bench. "He told you his reasons?"
At the note of disbel
ief in Sarah's voice, Abbie looked up. "Yes."
"I can't believe it. Flynn's a clam when it comes to talking about himself. What did he tell you?"
"Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"I'm an intelligence officer. That's what I do."
"No offense, Sarah, but I don't think this is any of your business."
"No offense taken, Abbie, but I have to disagree. The men of Eagle Squadron are my business. They're my brothers. I look out for every one of them."
Abbie could understand that Sarah's inquisitiveness stemmed from concern not idle curiosity, but she wasn't going to discuss the confidences Flynn had shared. "He considers all of you his family."
"We are."
"And do you think that's enough?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're all so good at keeping your objectivity and maintaining your distance while you're on a mission, don't you worry that you won't know how to stop?"
"Don't misinterpret our objectivity, Abbie. We need our distance to survive."
I need my freedom, Abbie. It's how I survive. That's what Flynn had told her. It kept coming back to that. She was going in circles. Frustrated, she returned the towel to her hair and rubbed more briskly than she needed to. "Maybe I'm just not grasping this. You're human. We all want the same things. Is there something about being a commando that rules out normal relationships?"
"Our profession makes a steady relationship challenging," Sarah said slowly. "But yes, I think most of us do want the same things. We're as human as anyone else."
"Then why are so few of you married?"
"I can't speak for everyone. In my case, my fiancé died five weeks before our wedding."
Abbie lowered the towel and looked at Sarah. Too late she remembered that Flynn had mentioned Sarah was still mourning her fiancé. "I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me."
"No, it's okay. I've been butting into your love life, it's only fair if you know about mine. Captain Kyle Jackson was the best. I'll never find a man like him again."
"You must have loved him deeply," Abbie said.
"Yes, I did." A glimmer of sadness softened her green gaze. "Love is precious. When it happens, you have to cherish every minute you get."
Abbie thought about something else Flynn had said. "All we can be sure of is the moment."
Seven Days to Forever Page 18
