by Jill Shalvis
“I don’t get it. You were so hot to resolve this thing. How the hell can you just give up?” he demanded, satisfied when hot sparks shot from her eyes.
“I’m not giving up. I never give up.”
“Then where’s your excitement? Your hope?” Ruthlessly he pushed her, needing to punish her for being so…so everything he wanted and wouldn’t let himself have. “We’ve just been given a good solid lead that could open the door on your past, a past you’ve wondered about your entire life, and you’re sitting there as if it doesn’t matter.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then tell me.”
He was practically shouting at her, but dammit, he had this bone-deep need to break through, just for once, and see the real Delia.
“Why should I? You’ve made it clear we don’t mean anything to each other.”
“I’ve made it clear…” He gaped at her, because it was true and he had no idea what to say. He’d never purposely hurt anyone, especially Delia, but she was right in a way. He didn’t want them to mean anything to each other. And yet it was too late. He let out a long breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just that this sizzling attraction between us… Damn, Delia, when I kiss you, I could…”
“You could…?”
He could see his future in her warm loving arms. Told himself he could live happily ever after just being with her, watching her smile, hearing her talk. “Nothing,” he said shortly. “Forget it.”
“All right, I will.”
Great. Jamming the car in drive, he took them out of the seedy neighborhood, letting the road occupy his mind. When they arrived back at the car-rental place, they got out in silence.
“Thank you,” she said stiffly, looking cool and elegant. Untouchable. Her hair was in perfect order, the glorious strands shining like spun gold.
The heat was getting to him, he decided. But there was no denying she was a Southern Californian at heart. He wondered if she knew how at home she looked here.
“Let me know what you find out about Eddie Kitze,” she said, as if they were discussing dinner plans, instead of her life.
“I wasn’t too sure it mattered,” he said, openly baiting her, but he was confused, hot and turned on, a combination guaranteed to mess with his head. “What with your overwhelming excitement and all.”
The sarcasm had her jaw tightening. “You want a reaction from me?”
“Please.”
“Are you certain that won’t be getting too personal?”
“Just tell me.”
“I think you’re moody and impossible to get along with.”
He couldn’t help it. He laughed. “I’m moody?”
She didn’t crack a smile. “I think it’s ridiculous to even think about anything between us when neither of us seems to be able to act maturely about the whole thing.”
“Assuming I agree with you,” he said tightly, not about to admit otherwise, “and we stick to the case, what did you think of what Dottie told us?”
“I think Eddie Kitze lied through his teeth. You won’t find him on any police department, because he wasn’t a cop. Eddie Kitze…Ethan Constance. They could have been one and the same.” She surprised him by showing emotion. Her voice revved up as she spoke. Her color heightened. “So assuming Dottie wasn’t lying and assuming Eddie was and that he was really Ethan, I could get Jacob. Also assuming, of course, that he wants to come.”
“Delia—”
“No, please, don’t give me empty assurances, because really, the truth is, he resents the hell out of me right now.”
Suddenly she sighed and hung her head, showing a weariness he’d only guessed at. She rubbed her temples. “God,” she whispered, “all the ifs. It’s killing me.” Then she lifted her head and gazed at him with haunted eyes, making him more than a little sorry he’d pushed her for a reaction.
“And then there’s you,” she whispered. “Driving me crazy. Coming. Going. Coming…” She sighed. “I really want you to just go somewhere and stay there.”
“I am going,” he said, but because he was still an idiot, he pulled her close, instead.
Her arms snaked around his neck. “I’m mad at you,” she whispered, pressing close.
“I know.” His hands slid down her slim back, over her hips, then up again. He couldn’t get enough of her.
Together they stood there, clinging, both in heaven and misery, and more confused than ever.
Chapter 8
Scott was waiting for her outside Edna’s house. Delia parked and took her time getting out of the car. She was feeling a bit raw and shaky.
Standing by her car, she tilted her face toward the hot sun and took a deep calming breath.
For the first time she could allow herself to believe her hopes had some foundation. Her father could have been Constance Freeman’s son.
She could be the heir.
If so, it would give her everything she’d ever wanted in one shot. Self-worth, pride.
And Jacob.
With all that to dwell on, it seemed odd that her thoughts were miles away, on another problem entirely. A rugged tough sexy investigator.
There’d been quite a few firsts today. The hope about being the heir and now… For the first time in her life, she actually wanted a man, so much so that she trembled at the mere thought. Not a fearful tremble, either, but a sort of secret thrilling anticipating one that made it hard to function.
And Scott was watching her, gauging her worth for Jacob, and there she stood, lost in fantasyland, dreaming about warm arms and drugging kisses.
Smoothing down her dress, she took another deep breath, this one to steady her pulse, and moved up the walk.
“Good afternoon,” Scott said formally. Behind his polite smile, his eyes were quiet and assessing, but Delia knew he would find nothing faulty with her appearance, she’d made sure of it.
She was dressed neatly and conservatively in a sundress she’d made herself. No one would have guessed, and it wasn’t pride that told her so, but in fact, if there was one thing she could do well, it was look good. She gave a businesslike smile. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“You called for a visit with Jacob.”
“And my visits are always going to be supervised?”
“It’s a good idea, Delia, for his sake.”
“Do you think I’d hurt him?”
Annoyance flickered across Scott’s face. “It has nothing to do with you. It’s the way this works.”
“The system is overworked and underfunded. Jacob’s lucky to have such a dedicated social worker,” Delia commented.
“Yes, well, I am dedicated to Jacob. He’s a special kid.”
Delia felt a pang of guilt for her pettiness, because there was nothing but honesty in Scott’s eyes, nothing but true concern for her brother. She was the last one in the world to resent that. “The custody hearing is only a few weeks away,” she said evenly. “What do you think my chances are?”
“The judge will make that decision.”
“Yes, but that decision will be based, in part, on your recommendation and reports.”
“Are you asking me where I think Jacob should be?”
“Yes,” she said with equal bluntness. Pride had no place here. “That’s what I’m asking.”
“Edna has more money than Jacob’s inheritance. She can and will manage it well.”
“And I can’t?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I can hire someone to handle his money. I would never touch it.”
He didn’t soften. “Then there’s the fact that you live so far away. You’d be taking him from everyone and everything he’s ever known.”
“Life has already done that to him,” Delia argued quietly. “I’d be taking him to a place where he could grow up with love and affection and wide-open spaces. He’d have everything he ever needed.”
Scott nodded in reluctant agreement. “That’s true. And to be honest, Edna’
s age works against her, as does the fact that she didn’t go looking for him. He was pretty much dumped on her. Plus, you’re his half sister.”
“So you’re saying I have a chance?”
“I have nothing to do with the final decision.”
“Scott.”
“I won’t give you false hope, Delia. You have several things against you, mostly your lack of financial solvency.” Seeing the stricken look on her face, he sighed. “Look, you asked. Now let’s go. Jacob’s out back playing basketball.”
Burning with the need to prove herself, Delia followed Scott around to the backyard.
Jacob saw Scott and grinned. Then he saw Delia and his smile faded.
“Hi, Jacob,” she said, forcing herself to stay back when what she really wanted to do was hug him close. “It’s great to see you again.”
“Yeah.” He blew a big bubble from the wad of gum and shrugged. He’d turned slightly away from her, but glanced back at her as if he wasn’t quite sure whether or not she was real.
Her heart nearly burst, and ignoring the distance he clearly still needed, she moved closer, stopping directly in front of him and hunkering down to his level.
“I missed you,” she said simply.
He stared at his sneakers. “You came.”
A knot lodged in her throat because she could see that her presence was a surprise to him, even though she’d called. “I’ll always do what I say. I promise.”
His only response was a shrug. Delia imagined he’d had lots of promises broken in his past, but that, too, was going to change. “Want to play?” she asked, gesturing to the ball he carried.
“You any good?”
She laughed at his skepticism and kicked off her heeled sandals. “I grew up with a sister who was the best, and I couldn’t stand to lose. So, yeah, I’m pretty good.”
“Your foster sister,” he said.
She watched him carefully. Was he jealous? Excited? Indifferent? “Yes, one of my foster sisters. Zoe and Maddie were all I had for a very long time. Until you.”
“Foster sisters aren’t really related.”
“Not by blood maybe, but in our hearts we are.”
“We’re blood-related, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
“It does for me,” she said softly. “From the first moment I learned about you, I felt you in my heart. I’m hoping you grow to feel the same.”
He thought about that, then with the ease of the very young, he changed the uncomfortable subject. “Which of them can play? Zoe or Maddie?”
“Zoe. I have pictures that I brought with me. Of my life in Idaho and the people there. Zoe, Maddie. Zoe’s fiancé, Ty. Want to see them?”
He lifted his shoulder again. “You going to play or what?”
“Oh, we’re going to play. We’ll look at the pictures after I beat you,” she teased.
“I’m not going to lose to you.” Then he looked directly at her, for the first time since she’d gotten there, and his eyes filled with a fierce pride she knew well.
It was like looking into a mirror, and it took a moment before she could answer. “Well, let’s see if you’re as good as you say.”
“I am.”
Delia silently thanked all those torturous days she’d played with Zoe when they’d been young, for in truth, Jacob was good. Better than good. In less than fifteen minutes, she was laughing and admitting defeat.
Cocky, he held the ball and watched as she bent over, trying to catch her breath. She expected him to make fun of her, but all he said was, “You’re in pretty good shape.”
Lifting her head, she stared at him in surprise.
“For an old chick in a silly dress,” he added.
Scott, who’d been watching from the sidelines, laughed. “Not the way to a woman’s heart, sport. Never mention their age. And most definitely not their appearance.”
Jacob’s smile faded. “Sorry,” he mumbled, and turned away.
Delia could have cheerfully strangled Scott, who had, admittedly, been only teasing. But clearly Jacob thought he’d insulted her and now was either wary or embarrassed.
“Ready to see those pictures?” she said, trying to get the good mood back.
But Jacob merely shrugged, his back to her, and for the rest of the day, he was unreachable.
The next group of guests arrived at the Triple M. It was easier this time, especially since the three sisters and Ty knew what to expect.
Maddie outdid herself in the kitchen. Ty and Zoe were a complete success with a mock roundup.
And Delia, without the distraction of the unbearably sexy Cade, found herself enjoying running the house. The hard work kept both her hands and her mind busy, which was exactly what she needed.
The wedding plans helped, too, especially since when she was sewing, she felt validated. One thing she could most definitely do, and do well, was sew.
But through it all, she counted down the calendar toward the custody hearing, which would occur only days after Zoe’s wedding, wondering as she did how Cade was coming along on the lead about her father.
Several times each of her sisters had pressed her about Cade, always with that hopeful speculative gleam in their eyes.
They wanted to know what was going on.
Nothing, Delia always claimed, but no one seemed to believe her.
Cade was interested, no doubt. She knew that from his hot looks and even hotter kisses. But he wasn’t interested enough to want more, wasn’t interested in sharing himself.
She was better off without him.
Or so she told herself in the deep of the night when she awoke with that strange haunting need to be held against a man’s warm hard body. And not just any man, but one with fathomless dark eyes and the ability to see past her facade.
On Saturday, as she was racing down the back hallway, a pile of fresh towels in her arms, she heard the office phone ring. She thought about not getting it, but it could be someone wanting reservations, which in turn equaled cash.
Money was still in short supply. But they were booked for nearly every available weekend, so things were looking up. Breathless, Delia slipped into the office, juggled the load of towels in her arms and pushed the speaker button, just as Maddie and Zoe came running from opposite directions, each looking every bit as harried as she did.
“Hello, Triple M,” Delia said, just as Maddie and Zoe came to a skidding halt, nearly colliding in the hallway. Delia waved and they waved right back before turning back to whatever they’d dropped to answer the phone.
The voice of Edna on the speaker stopped them all short.
“Jacob,” Delia said quickly. “Is he all right?”
“Oh, of course he is. Brought in a lizard not too long ago,” the older woman said dryly. “Lovely. Anyway, we got to talking. Jacob mentioned he might like to visit Idaho.”
“And bring his lizard?” Zoe asked teasingly.
Delia managed the introductions, hardly hearing a word that was said. She’d nearly dropped her load of towels in shock at the casually worded request from Edna.
With a sweet knowing smile, Maddie came forward and gently took the load from Delia’s arms. Zoe, not so gently, pushed the shaky Delia into the nearest chair, for which she was thankful since her knees were shaking.
Jacob wanted to come to Idaho.
Delia drew in a deep breath to remain calm. Or at least sound calm. “Anytime,” she said to Edna. “Come anytime at all. Actually, now works for me.”
Edna laughed. “Oh, wonderful. Do you have room for us next weekend?”
They had their hands full, most definitely, but they weren’t filled to capacity. Still, they were new at this, and her sisters might not appreciate the extra burden on such short notice.
Delia looked over at them. Both were nodding their heads, smiling their encouragement.
Their support caused such a rush of affection she could hardly put her words together. “We have room,” she said, her voice husky with emotion. “We’ll always have
room.”
“Then we’ll be there,” Edna said.
And Delia had to put her head down between her knees.
“They’re here,” Delia whispered, suddenly terrified, as she looked out the front window of the big house.
Zoe peeked past her. “Hmm. Pretty skinny, isn’t he?”
Maddie squeezed between them to stare, as well. “He’s just a baby! Oh, look at him, how sweet, pretending he’s not dying of curiosity. You know, I can have him fattened up in no time.”
Delia gripped the curtains, watching her brother hop out of Ty’s truck. Edna followed, with Ty’s help. “I hope she isn’t insulted that we sent Ty for her.”
“She knows we have a full house,” Maddie assured her. “She understands. Oh, look at Jacob’s face. He’s just the cutest thing.”
His eyes lit with excitement, Jacob turned toward the barn, then the horses in the corral.
“City boy,” Zoe said with a fond sigh. “We’ll have to fix that.”
Delia just soaked up the very welcome sight of him. Whether he admitted it to her or not, he’d told Edna he wanted to come.
She’d hold that knowledge close to her heart.
“You’re shaking,” Zoe told her.
“I am not.”
Maddie touched her arm. “Dee, it’s okay to be nervous.”
“I’m not.”
Zoe snorted. “You’re terrified. Of a little boy.”
Delia glared at her, but Maddie, ever the peace-maker, stood between them. “She’s teasing you, Delia, and if you weren’t so preoccupied, you’d know that and ignore her. Honey, look, we know this is difficult for you, and in Zoe’s sweet loving manner—” she lifted a daring eyebrow at Zoe when she snorted again “—she’s offering support. We’re offering support.”
Delia let her gaze fall back to Jacob. “Okay. I might be a little nervous.” She straightened and shot Zoe a look. “But I’m not scared, so just zip it or I’ll make you do my chores for a change. I doubt you’d last long making beds.”
Zoe grinned and swung an arm around Delia’s shoulders. “Let’s go greet our baby brother, okay?”
“Together,” Maddie said, hugging them both.
Grateful for their love and support, Delia opened the front door—just in time to see who else got out of Ty’s truck.
