by Lisa Hobman
Josie had suggested that Mallory came into the shop to see for herself how things were going. She wanted Mallory to see the fruits of her labours as she had managed to encourage other local craftspeople to have commission-based stands within the shop and so the variety of goods had increased dramatically. Business was booming. Mallory’s heart warmed to think that what started as a hobby had become a viable business venture. Aunt Sylvia would be so proud, she thought.
As she watched Josie work her sales magic, her mobile buzzed in her bag. She expected there to be a message from Stella as she knew she was concerned about her, so she fumbled around in her bright red bottomless pit of a bag and located the phone. It was a text.
From Greg.
Hey, how r u? Am worried u will not come back. I miss u so much. Please just let me know u r ok.
She thought for a moment and hit reply.
Greg, I’m fine. Please just let me be for a while. I need some space, okay? Concentrate on your own life and let me deal with mine.
She hit send but when she re-read the message she realised that perhaps she had been harsh. Too late now, lady, her subconscious chided.
Josie had arranged for them to go out for a meal with a few friends that night. They had been booked into the Tandoori Palace for eight. Mallory was looking forward to some good Indian food. She slipped on a pair of straight leg jeans, a purple V-neck top and black stilettos and she wore the bracelet from her first Christmas with Sam.
The restaurant was lively and warm when they arrived. The air was filled with the most tantalising aromas of exotic spices. Mallory’s mouth began to water in readiness for the delights she was about to savour. She sat towards the end of the long table with Josie at her right and Brad opposite. It was a kind of an accidental shield created by the friends for their supposedly fragile guest.
The night was filled with great conversation and delicious food but she was surrounded by couples and seeing others so happy made her strangely homesick for her little cottage in Scotland. She missed Greg. And reflecting on things with him she realised that Josie was right. She had clung to the first problem they had encountered. And the guilt over feeling she was being unfaithful to Sam was at the root of it all. But the truth was Sam was gone. He would never return and at some point she would have to move on. Life was for living and she knew Sam would want that for her. And Sam had wanted their life to be in Scotland. There had to be something in that too, surely? Being back in Yorkshire hadn’t eased her heart as she had expected and she realised that perhaps relocating once again wasn’t the answer.
The morning after the meal out, she visited the graves of her parents and her Aunt Sylvia who were all interred in the Westerman family plot. She placed flowers there and sat, eyes closed, enjoying the peace and quiet of the tranquil cemetery.
She opened her eyes and tilted her head to rest it on her shoulder. ‘I wish you guys were still around so you could tell me what to do,’ she told the headstone. ‘I think back to the lives you had and the way you loved and I feel like I should be the same. Aunt Sylvia, you remained single after Uncle died. Dad you left to be with Mum when she was gone. It doesn’t feel right that I’m even considering moving on from Sam. I don’t know what to do. I loved him so much. But is it possible to have a love that deep again?’ She closed her eyes and as she sat there a warm breeze blew across her face. Something shifted in the air around her and a calm serenity settled over in her tumultuous mind.
If she had any chance of being happy again she had to at least hear Greg out. Give him a chance to explain. It was the only way she could move forward. Being down in Yorkshire wasn’t helping things at all. She couldn’t resolve anything down here.
Mallory decided that the next day would see her return to Clachan Seil and the cottage she now called home. She concluded that perhaps she should give Greg another chance at friendship… it would be a start.
Her early start had meant that the return journey home was fairly straight forward. She took a brief break at the Green Welly stop and took Ruby for a quick walk. Grabbing a coffee and croissant to go, she set off for home once again.
Walking through the door of the house felt good. This was the first time she walked in and felt at home fully; totally. She sighed in a mixture of melancholy sadness and hopeful happiness. She had serious thinking to do.
After taking a nap she headed on over to the pub. Greg was standing behind the bar. Alice was nowhere to be seen thankfully. She walked over and his eyes lit up when his gaze lifted to meet hers.
‘Mallory, you’re back.’ He sounded joyful, but then his expression changed. ‘How long are you here for?’
‘I’m not exactly sure, Greg. Not yet. Can I speak to you in private please?’ The pub was fairly quiet apart from Ron in his usual spot and Colin and Christine eating a meal. Do they ever cook? She smiled to herself. They all acknowledged Mallory with a wave and a smile.
‘Is everything okay, Mallory?’ Greg asked with a look of concern as they stepped outside.
She locked her gaze on his. ‘Greg, I’ve done a lot of thinking whilst I’ve been away.’
His dark eyes were like an open book today – one filled with mixed emotions. He gave a sad smile. ‘I’m not going to like this, am I?’ he winced.
She smiled at him which seemed to relax him a little. ‘I think maybe I was… too hard on you about the whole marriage thing. I think I was waiting for things to fall apart and discovering that was a way out. I think it proved I wasn’t really ready to be anything more than friends. I don’t know if that will ever change now. Maybe there’s too much water under the bridge. But I think we could be friends again… If you want to?’ she asked.
Disappointment creased his brow. ‘Mallory, I love you. I probably always will. It’ll be hard to just be friends, but I would rather have that than the icy chill between us.’ He reached out and stroked her arm, his chocolate brown eyes now tinged with sadness.
‘I’m sorry but friendship is all I can offer,’ she reiterated.
He nodded, a defeated expression replacing the sadness. ‘It’s better than nothing.’
‘So, where’s Alice?’
He sighed and ran his hands over his face. ‘She went home. She… wants to give things another go with me,’ he admitted.
Mallory snorted derisively. ‘Oh, I’m fully aware of that. Did she not tell you about our cosy little chat in the ladies the last time you played?’ Greg’s expression changed to one of anger, but Mallory continued. ‘She accused me of breaking your heart worse than she had and pretty much warned me off you.’
Greg’s eyes widened. ‘Shit! Really? Is that why you went—’
‘Ha! Greg, I won’t be scared off by her or by anyone. I’ve become quite tough lately. I just needed a break. That’s all,’ she said sternly.
‘Okay. Well, I haven’t made her any promises and I won’t be doing so either.’
Mallory raised her eyebrows at him. ‘Not that it’s any of my business, but she told me you’re thinking about getting back together with her.’
‘I’m thirty-eight, Mallory. I admit that I don’t want to be alone forever, and I know now that I can’t have the person that I want but… if I’m really honest with myself, I think I’d rather stick with being alone than go through another relationship with her. She’s asked me to think about things and I said I would, just to appease her enough to make her leave, but deep down I think she knows it’s a no-go—’
‘I know it’s nothing to do with me, but I think she’d hurt you again and, as my friend, that prospect doesn’t sit right. But anyway, I… I’m glad we talked. Look, I’ll be off now. I’m not staying for a drink. I just wanted to see you,’ she said brusquely, backing away and turning to make her way home.
She was shocked that Greg was even pretending to consider taking Alice back after everything she had put him through. But as his friend she would be there to support him. That much was clear in her mind.
The shift in her heart over Greg had p
ushed her to make a decision about the house too. She couldn’t sell. Sam had wanted them to make a life in Scotland and the way she had felt on returning home to Sealladh-mara Cottage had cemented in her mind that this was home now. She called the estate agent and informed him of her decision and then cried tears of relief as she looked around her surroundings, knowing this was where she was meant to be after all.
*
Mallory was happy to be back at the pub that night. Greg would be there too as he was playing again. Stella had to ask him to increase his dates seeing as he was being asked for on a regular basis. Mallory was so happy that it was working out for him.
She dressed in black trousers and a black fitted shirt for her shift. She pinned up her hair and went with glasses instead of contacts. She chose red earrings, shoes and a belt. Greg was there when she arrived and he smiled when he saw her. He was clutching a half-empty whiskey glass.
She frowned. ‘I thought that stuff dried your vocal chords out,’ she teased him as she pulled herself a diet cola.
‘Aye, but I’m a tad nervous tonight. Some guy put a clip of me on the internet and this bloke from an entertainment agency is coming to see me play.’ He gulped down a large swig of the amber-coloured liquid, clearly trying to quell a tumult of nerves in his gut.
Mallory gasped. ‘Wow, Greg. That’s brilliant. What will happen if he likes what he sees?’
‘Ah… I won’t be famous or anything quite so crazy, but it could mean I get gigs further afield. He has a list of places all over Highland that I could be booked for.’
Mallory caught sight of a man and woman she didn’t recognise as locals as they walked in. They emanated professionalism, but looked awkward and out of place in the country pub, wearing their suits and carrying files. Rather than the entertainment agents she presumed they were, they looked more like not-so-secret agents or debt collectors, Mallory surmised.
Following her eyes, Greg inhaled sharply. ‘Shit, that must be them.’ He took another gulp of his single malt, then, shaking like a leaf, he went over to introduce himself.
Mallory watched as the two smartly dressed agency reps chatted to Greg and she saw his anxiety gradually subside. She was relieved for him.
The pub had become very busy and she was rushed off her feet at the bar as Greg took his spot behind the microphone.
‘Evening all.’ His usual greeting fell casually from his lips. ‘Good to be here again and to see the place packed. I’m sure Stella’s grateful and I know I am.’ An appreciative rumble traversed the room. ‘I’d like to start tonight off with a dedication to someone. They know who they are. The words have to be said and I can think of no better way to say them… It’s a song by a band who you may think obscure for a weeknight in a village pub. And it’s another fairly old one, but you know me and my love of twentieth-century music. Anyway, the sentiment is important. It’s by a band called Incubus and it’s called “Dig”.’
Mallory looked over and sure enough his gaze immediately locked on to hers.
The song was beautiful and talked of friendship, forgiveness and being there for each other. Mallory found her arms covered in goosebumps as the words touched her deeply. Greg’s voice never ceased to amaze her, hitting every note with precise perfection. Her heart swelled and she smiled despite the tears that formed in her eyes. He reciprocated her smile and all felt good. She was beginning to love that about Greg. He could always find the perfect song to express his feelings.
At the end of the night Greg chatted with the reps again. He looked happy and relieved and there was a lot of handshaking, smiling and nodding.
Mallory waited until they had gone before excitement got the better of her and she made her way over to where her friend was putting away his beloved guitar. She watched as he carefully placed the instrument in its case and remembered how those long, lean fingers had lovingly touched her skin only a short while ago. She shook her head to rid herself of the unwelcome intrusion.
‘Well?’ she waved her hands at him, eagerly awaiting his response.
‘They’ve taken me on!’ He grabbed her and hugged her before she had a chance to protest. But it felt good to be hugged so naturally again by him and she briefly rested her head on his hard chest.
Realising she was holding on a little too tightly she released him and stepped back. ‘I’m so happy for you, Greg. How amazing.’ She was incredibly proud of her friend – and it felt good to be able to call him her friend again. But she couldn’t help but wonder about what might have been.
He locked his gaze on her and for a moment she thought she saw something else lurking behind those chocolate brown eyes. But all too soon the moment was gone and he clapped his hands together. ‘Look, I’ve something to ask you. Feel free to say no if it’s too soon to socialise with me again but… I’m going to an open mic night at the beginning of October in Oban and I wondered if you’d like to come along? I’ve been before and there are some great performers there. What’s even better is that you can get up and do something if the mood takes you.’ He smiled.
She loved the sound of that and she had missed spending time with him. She grinned and nodded enthusiastically. ‘I think I can safely say I’ll be there.’
*
October, 2015
Things had settled down well for Mallory and Greg. They were back to joking and laughing again. Every so often there would be a tricky moment where he looked at her in the way that meant he still loved her, but she managed to rein her own emotions in. And although they didn’t discuss Alice, Mallory was very much aware she was the invisible elephant in the room.
The first weekend in October was dull, cold and rainy. Friday, the ninth was just as wet as the rest of the week so she had spent the day reading and listening to CDs Greg had loaned her. She had decided that she was going to encourage him to get an MP3 player and subscribe to some online streaming channels. She was determined to drag him kicking and screaming into the present. Greg picked her up and they set off for Oban at seven for the open mic night.
He was giddy and excitable like a kid on Christmas Eve. ‘So, Mallory, have you ever been musical at all?’ he enquired as they chugged along in the Landy.
Hesitantly she admitted, ‘Well… actually I used to sing in a choir back in Yorkshire a few years back.’
‘Really?’ After doing a double take, a wry grin appeared on his face. ‘What happened? Why’d you stop?’
‘I had a couple of solos and really enjoyed it, especially when I was asked to sing “Martha’s Harbour” by All About Eve… I love that song as it reminds me of Mum and Dad… but then the conductor changed and it all went downhill. I stopped enjoying it.’
‘Soooo, you’re a singer then?’ He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
‘Not for a long time and don’t be getting any ideas.’ She poked him.
He feigned shock. ‘Me? I don’t know what you could possibly mean.’
The sky was heavy and dark as they drove the journey to the club but in stark contrast the venue was alive with excitement and effervescence when they arrived. They got a drink from the bar and listened to the young man who was on stage performing a cover of ‘Fight Song’ by Rachel Platten, accompanied by his guitar. He was really good and it was interesting to hear it sung by a man.
They listened to a few more artistes. One of which was a girl with long red hair and green eyes who must have been in her late-twenties. Greg was transfixed on her as she sang a beautiful rendition of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, Eva Cassidy style. Mallory watched Greg as tears welled in his eyes and she realised from his reaction and from photos she had seen, that the girl bore a striking resemblance to Mairi.
Mallory squeezed his arm and he looked down at her, shaking his head as if he realised he had been staring. He leaned over to tell her he was going to the men’s room and disappeared. He was gone quite a while and Mallory was wondering if he was okay.
When he eventually returned, he grabbed Mallory’s arm and pulled her with him towards
the stage. ‘You know you sang “Martha’s Harbour” in your choir that time?’ he whispered.
Mallory scrunched her nose as she looked up at him. ‘Yes, yes of course I remember. We were just talking about it.’ Her mouth fell open and she shook her head beginning to panic. Oh no. What has he done?
He grinned. ‘Aye well, I hope you remember the words, cos you’re just about to sing it live on stage. It just so happened it’s one of my favourites too and I know it like the back of my hand.’
She gasped and pulled against him. ‘You must be mad! There’s no way I’m—’
‘Ladies, gentleman, it’s time for a duet now. Next up this evening we have Greg McBradden and Mallory Westerman performing “Martha’s Harbour”.’
There was a rumble of applause and whistles and Mallory looked at the crowd, realising with horror that she was already on the stage. Unsure as to how she got there, she sat on the stool next to Greg as he began to play the opening chords to the haunting melody. He nodded and winked at her. Her mouth felt dry. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Never expected to be doing this tonight. Somehow, she managed to come in at the right time and the beautiful lyrics came flooding back to her.
She kept her eyes closed as she sang and a strange feeling washed over her. It was a sense of calm at the lilting guitar and how well Greg played the piece, but also at her inhibitions melting away. Memories of being with her mum and dad on a beautiful long beach in the Highlands danced around her mind. The cornflour blue sky a contrast to the pale golden sand and her dad’s words ringing around her, ‘Who needs tropical beaches when we have this amazing seaside escape right here on our own island…’
When the song finished, there was a rousing, raucous applause which took Mallory by surprise. She looked over at Greg who was grinning from ear to ear and glowing with pride. His eyes were glassy as he applauded her too and she buzzed with excitement and happiness like she hadn’t for a very long time.
