White foam. Cold. Evergreens and beige rock speeding by. The river…
Swim! Keep your head up! Luke was yelling, but the forceful, angry current kept pulling me under and spitting me back up. I was powerless against it. Anne’s voice sounded from somewhere in the distance, too…don’t give up, she whispered…
My hip bone slammed into a rock, and my body stopped moving forward for a second, then I was pushed violently ahead until a sickening blast of fire shot through my arm. I had stopped, but the water continued to rush past me relentlessly. It bashed, pummeled, and tried to pull me under. Whatever was holding my arm had rendered it useless, so I clawed desperately at what was in front of me with the other. A fallen log? I couldn’t focus. I tried to keep my head up, tried to get air—but I was so tired—and then I saw her again, the baby. She was crying, but I was helpless to comfort her. I was slipping away from her, sinking down into the darkness…
I could hear Luke. He was saying my name over and over. Why did he sound so desperate? I could feel his mouth on mine, his breath moving down my throat and pushing into my lungs, and I looked up at his face as water dripped from his hair and onto my cheeks. His blue eyes were wide and scared. He turned me on my side, and a surge of water erupted from my lungs and my stomach. I puked until I could breathe again, and then he pulled me to his chest.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he said breathlessly.
I was so cold. “I saw her,” I told him. The vision of the baby in my arms was so vivid—it was the only thing that made sense.
“Her?” he asked.
The world was spinning. I pushed my cheek to his chest, grateful for the beautiful serenade that was his beating heart. “Our baby. Blue eyes—so beautiful… she looked just like you,” I said and then everything went black.
The pounding in my head pulled me from unconsciousness. I tried to bring my right hand to my forehead, but it protested in unbearable pain. I tried to swallow, but there was too much liquid in my mouth, and nothing made sense. Bits of blue sky and rolling clouds came in and out of focus.
“Try to stay awake,” Luke said anxiously.
His voice sounded strange, but I couldn’t make my lips form the words to ask why. Trees swayed against the sky, and I wished they would stop and be still. Something was dripping into my eyes, and I was barely able to get my left hand to my face to rub at the warm, sticky substance that was making the sky turn a funny shade of amber.
“Kaya, listen. I really need you to stay awake, okay?”
“Itz noproblem,” I tried to say, wondering why my words were jumbled and slurred.
“Tell me all about the baby girl you saw,” he said.
The baby. I felt her. I knew her… I wanted to explain—to describe her in detail and tell him about my vision of her—but I couldn’t organize my thoughts into words. I watched as he ripped the sleeve of my shirt from wrist to my shoulder, and then he wound fabric tightly around my upper arm like a tourniquet. I wanted to tell him it hurt. I was thirsty. What was he doing?
“Pleeze noneedles…” I begged.
“No, no. No needles, I promise,” he said, but his tone implied he had to do something much worse.
“Kaya, I need you to watch for animals, okay? Turn your head a little bit that way…” he grabbed my chin and gently moved my head so I would be facing in the direction of the river. What was he talking about? Watch for what animals? There were just trees and water and clouds…
“See that bird there? The one with the red-and-black feathers? Take a deep breath—”
A searing pain ripped through my body from my arm to my neck, and everything instantly became fuzzy, then black, then fuzzy again. The trees stopped swaying, and the pounding of my heart burst into my ears like a hammer pounding a nail. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t.
“Deep breaths—come on, Kaya… oh my God, I’m sorry—it’s almost out… I have to do this… deep breaths—”
I tried to do as he told me, but it felt like he was digging a knife into my arm and prying the bones apart. Spots danced in front of my eyes, and the sounds of the forest funneled in and out of my head. Luke’s voice became distant.
“Done,” he said quickly as he wrapped something tight around the throbbing part of my arm. “That tree that saved your life—it didn’t want to let go.”
I watched him move above me frantically. His shirt was off, and he was ripping it into strips. I struggled to stay awake, but my eyes wanted to shut, and it was becoming increasingly hard to fight the urge. I had been so cold, but a strange warmth had begun to creep over me. I knew this feeling; I remembered it from somewhere… my birthday… Oliver’s hands around my neck to stop the blood from pouring out of me… Was I dying? What about Luke; was he all right?
“Are you akay?” I asked, still unable to fully form words.
I needed to know before I drifted off in case I never came back. He ignored me and continued working on my arm, ripping up more cloth to wrap around it, and then he pulled down my waistband to apply pressure to my hip bone. I gasped at his touch and tried not to yelp from the searing pain.
“Luke,” I squeaked out, but he was too anxious to hear me.
“Luke…” I said again. Using my voice required all my energy.
He stopped what he was doing and looked down at me with terror in his eyes. “I’m here, Kaya.”
“Are you okay?” I asked once more, barely able to focus on his face. My head pounded so hard it seemed as if my own heartbeat flashed before my eyes. He took in a deep breath and forced a smile, holding what was left of his shirt to my head.
“I am perfectly fine, not hurt at all, just worried about you. I’ve got to stop the bleeding in your arm now, okay?” he said.
“Muh head feel worse than arm.”
“There’s too much blood, Kaya. I have to stop it somehow.”
“I’m sure it… worse than actually…” I couldn’t finish what I was trying to say.
“Stay awake, please,” he said, but the amber sky disappeared.
I built the fire up to a massive roar, desperate to get her warm and signal anyone searching for her. Then I pulled off her wet clothes and got them as close to the flames as I could without setting them on fire. I checked her arm again. The bleeding wouldn’t stop, the puncture wound too wide and deep. I kept applying pressure, holding it for what seemed like forever and rewrapping it, but blood continued to ooze, if not pour, from it. I had to stop it.
I put my knife in the fire, my stomach churning as I thought of what I had to do—she would bleed to death if I didn’t. She moaned and opened her eyes periodically as I piled up leaves and debris around her lower half, doing what I could to keep her warm. Talking calmly while struggling to keep it together and not lose my mind, I realized I had nothing to numb her pain.
The knife was soon hot, not white or glowing red, but hot enough to sear the skin. I placed a stick between her teeth, unwrapped the cloth around her arm, and then put the bloody bandages around my hand so I could pull the burning blade from the fire.
“Kaya, are you awake?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t.
She moaned. Blood gushed from her arm. I steadied myself and told her to bite down. You have to do this for her, I told myself and prayed I was doing the right thing.
I picked up the knife, took in a deep breath, and set the blade against her skin. Her eyes jerked open, and a gurgling scream escaped from her throat as I held the hot metal over the wound. The sickening smell of burning flesh wafted up my nose as my own tears fell on my hand. This was the most horrific thing I had ever done.
“Okay baby, I’m sorry—just one more time,” I told her, shaking so hard I could barely see straight.
Her eyes rolled back in her head when I repeated the gruesome task. Then, she blacked out.
When the bleeding stopped, I thought my heart might have as well. I had to feel for her pulse to make sure she was alive. “It’s okay now; it’s over, Kaya. I don’t have to do that again.”
&nb
sp; She mumbled something incoherent.
I covered the wound with strips from the remainder of my shirt, and then I took her wet tank top out of her backpack—the one she had washed us both with earlier—and wiped the blood from her face and eyes. There was a gash on her head that had bled a lot but had finally stopped. I tried to address all the injuries I could see, but I didn’t know if there were any internal ones—and those were the ones I was worried about most. What else could I do? I threw leaves on the fire, coaxing it to send plumes of smoke into the air, and tried to comfort her whenever her eyes opened. I felt helpless as she moaned and whimpered in pain.
The wind started to pick up, a clear sign that the weather was about to change, which was the very last thing I needed. The temperature dropped quickly, and a dark mass in the sky approached our makeshift campsite. Kaya was in and out of consciousness and deathly pale. Her bare skin was marked with bruises and scrapes, which I carefully tried to avoid as I dressed her. I eased her legs back into her dry pants, still warm from the fire, and pulled them up and over her hips, pausing to touch the white skin on her stomach… her pregnant stomach…
Getting the dry tank top on her was harder than the pants. Any movement of her arm was excruciating, and tears poured from her eyes. But I had to get her dressed—and fast. The storm was moving in quickly, and all the heat from the fire would soon be useless. I needed to find shelter. We were at the mercy of the elements out here with no tent to hide in or blankets to keep us warm.
“Kaya, we have to move up into the trees. A storm is heading right for us,” I told her.
She didn’t reply. Her eyes were closed, and she was out cold. I knew that she probably had a concussion on top of the blood loss, and as much as I hated to move her, the impending storm gave me no choice. The dark clouds were approaching, and flashes of light danced in them as the wind started swaying the flames of the fire in every direction. Kaya shivered.
As I collected my thoughts and the backpack from the tree branch, I noticed something coming down the riverbank—something dark and down on all fours. At first, I thought it was a bear, the diminishing light making it hard to tell, but then I realized it was Brutus. The mangy dog launched into a full-out run when he noticed me, and the packs that were strapped to him almost fell off. Never had I been so glad to see a dog in all my life.
“Brutus! Good boy! You found us. Good boy!” I said and threw my arms around him.
He licked my face, and then he went to Kaya and sniffed her all over. He whined, acutely aware there was something wrong.
“I know boy; she’s hurt pretty bad,” I told him.
I adjusted the straps around his body and removed one of the packs. Seth had obviously sent the dog to find me while he tended to Regan, who was probably dead by now—but I couldn’t think about that…
The air was turning to ice, and the wind picked up as the river rushed past us. A flash of lightning burst through the sky, followed a few seconds later by a loud crack. Mother Nature wasn’t fooling around.
“Kaya, wake up. We have to get out of here.” I shook her gently. Her green eyes opened, but they were unsteady.
“Brutus?” she said, noticing the dog.
“Yep, the hairy beast found us.”
“Gooboy,” she slurred. He licked her face and cleaned up the blood on her neck while I slipped on a shirt I had pulled out from the pack.
“Can you move?” I asked her.
“Uh-huh. I’mkay ta walk.”
I pulled her up, getting a bit frantic as the flashes grew more frequent and the cracks that followed were becoming closer. Brutus barked anxiously as she tried to stand, but as soon as she got to her feet, her knees gave out. Thankfully, I caught her before she hit the ground. She was weak, dizzy, and her arm dangled uselessly by her side. Her eyes rolled back in her head. What the heck made me think she could stand?
“Sorry,” she muttered as I eased her back down to the ground.
“Don’t worry. You’re as light as a feather; I’ll carry you,” I said, but she had already passed out.
I spread my jacket out on the ground and transferred her onto it. Then, as I held her wounded arm across her chest, I brought a sleeve up under her elbow and pulled it securely across her body. I tied the sleeves together to immobilize the wounded arm, and then I fastened the packs tightly to Brutus. As the storm rolled in, I slipped my hands under Kaya’s tiny frame and picked her up.
The rocky terrain made it difficult to move quickly, and I struggled. The storm was following close behind us, and the lightning was getting so close my hair started to stand on end. The rain was coming down in full force, and the wind whipped through the trees while the girl in my arms moaned.
“It’s okay. Remember what I told you? You are always safe in my arms,” I told her breathlessly, ignoring the pain in my chest and the burning in my arms and legs.
I needed to believe my own words, but it was becoming difficult to see. The storm was giving me as good of a beating as any opponent in a street fight ever had. I was becoming exhausted, I was freezing, and my arms had begun to shake. The flashes of the lightning and the cracking sounds that followed were almost even now—the storm was right on top of us. I knew I had to stop though, fearful I might drop Kaya. Sinking to the ground, I cradled her like I had held Louisa when she was scared. She buried her face into my neck, and I wound my hands into her hair to warm them. The rain was sharp, stinging and biting at my bare arms. Brutus whimpered too. There was nothing near us that could offer even the slightest bit of protection from the elements—the trees were so tall their branches jutted out hundreds of feet above our heads, and the forest floor offered no shelter.
Another loud crack sounded through the sky, and a bolt of lightning hit a blue spruce, snapping it in half and blasting pieces of tree into the air. I picked up Kaya and bolted out of the way as the smell of burning wood filled our noses and a loud whooshing sound brushed past our ears.
More ear-deafening booms echoed in the sky, more rain fell, and now a fire raged.
Squinting through the pouring rain, I noticed a shiny surface to the right and headed toward it. Brutus saw it too and ran ahead, barking. We came upon large boulders that were scattered at the base of a massive slab of rock stretching up the mountainside. A part of it jutted out like a nose would on a face, shining like it had been polished, almost glowing in the rain. I ducked down beside it, hoping it might offer some sort of protection, and tried to catch my breath. Brutus was barking into the dark behind me at a space that almost looked like a mouth next to the polished nose. When another blast shot through the sky, he disappeared into it. I followed, hoping I was right to trust the animal’s instincts, and moved carefully toward the yellow gleam of his eyes while mine adjusted to the dim light. Miraculously, the dog had found a cave. Without knowing it, he’d probably just saved our lives. “Good job, Brutus,” I said breathlessly.
As I neared Brutus, I wondered what other animals might be lurking around, but I suspected the dog would be on edge if there were any, and he only seemed worried about the storm outside. The lightning stayed over our heads. Nature’s strobe light pulsed, accompanied by the most deafening sound imaginable. Trees were breaking and snapping, and the rain was coming down in sheets. I held Kaya, my body too numb to move.
“Where are we?” she mumbled, shaking in my arms.
“In some sort of cave.”
I was vividly aware of the smell of my soap in her damp hair as I moved some of the strands off her cheeks.
“Everything hurts,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.
I told her I would make her better and promised her we would be okay. I repeated this until she fell asleep, and then I gently laid her down.
As I collected whatever dry leaves and twigs I could find in the mouth of the cave, I flicked my lighter on to get a better look at our surroundings. Smooth waves of red rock stretched up about seven feet over our heads and appeared to extend back for a while. My voice echoed off t
he walls when I said hello into the dark.
I breathed a sigh of relief when the fire caught and began to emit a bit of heat, but it was small and it wouldn’t last long. I took the heaviest pack off Brutus and found a flashlight, matches, water, and packets of freeze-dried food, along with two emergency blankets, and thankfully, the medical kit.
I spread one of the blankets out by the fire and eased Kaya onto it. She gasped in pain, and Brutus growled at me while I carefully removed the jacket tied around her that was holding her arm in place. I talked to Brutus like he was my assistant, explaining what I was doing, and he quieted. Damned if the beast didn’t understand English.
“I kinda like this dog,” Kaya said, awake again.
He stretched his massive body out beside her while I cut the shreds of shirt off her arm. Cleaning the wound caused tears to pour out of her eyes, but she didn’t make a sound.
“I’m sorry, but I have to do this, okay?” I didn’t know why I was asking her permission to do all the things I needed to do to her to keep her alive, other than I still wanted her to feel like she was in control. Even in this horrible situation, I needed her to know that I would never hurt her purposely.
“Okay,” she said in a small voice, running her other hand over Brutus’s fur as a distraction. He let out the odd growl at me when I reached for her. “Shh, puppy, Luke’s making me all better,” she whispered.
The bleeding from her arm had at least stopped, but the skin was red and starting to blister, and I was pretty sure the bone was broken. I wrapped it neatly with fresh bandages, popped some painkillers into her mouth, and then secured her arm to her chest again.
I went about cleaning and applying ointment to her head and ribs, and I warily addressed the large, purple blotch forming around the wound on her hip bone. She winced when I touched it. I found the antibiotics Regan had given me for my chest in my pack. After making her take some of them, I then tended to my own wounds.
The storm raged with flash after flash followed by countless booms while I did everything I could think to do for her. Now there was nothing left to do but to rest. Exhaustion hit me in full force as I lay down beside her and closed my eyes.
Serenade Page 24
