When she joked how rules were meant to be broken, he hadn’t been amused. If anything, he’d looked upset, muttered something about a bad experience and gave another apology. She had been, in a word, mortified and embarrassed. That was two words, but who was counting?
She’d never mentioned liking him, or wanting to date, or anything about that night. She’d wanted to put the evening behind her, except she… couldn’t.
His lack of feelings toward Charlie hadn’t changed her wanting to be with him. Oh, no. Shrugging off what could have been with Zack would have been too smart and logical. Instead she focused on what they could have together if he changed his mind.
Heat rose up her neck. Breaking a wild mustang with her hands tied and wearing a blindfolded would be easier than getting Zack to like her.
She’d escaped to Colorado this past winter for needed space and perspective. Time away to cool her feelings and decide what she wanted when she returned to Montana. She’d loved the horse ranch. For the first time, she hadn’t tried to be a cowboy. She’d been one hundred percent cowgirl, found herself accepted as-is, and asked out on dates. She’d returned to the Bar V5, ready to put her crush and their kisses in the past so she could find a new guy to date, one who would like her back. But within two weeks, her feelings for Zack returned, stronger than before.
His had remained the same—nonexistent.
She’d tried to see if he’d changed his mind about dating someone from the ranch. He hadn’t.
Insecurities, however, had kept her locked in the “one of the guys” mold. Best not to “rock the ranch” as Zack had answered when she asked about the possibility of dating a hypothetical coworker. So she didn’t.
Talk about screwed. Tortuous didn’t begin to describe this summer. She daydreamed of his kisses and a western themed wedding while he dated one beautiful woman after another.
Look where she was now. An entire year wasted wishing and hoping and praying, for what?
Absolutely nothing.
If not for her bunkmate, Caitlin Rodger, a close friend from high school and a preschool teacher in Marietta who ran the children’s summer program for the ranch, and her cat Mistletoe, Charlie would have quit in July. Which made her wonder why making the decision to leave the ranch was so difficult.
Don’t give up yet, her heart whispered.
Shut up. Charlie grimaced, angry for not being able to change the way she felt.
Zack and Blackbeard caught up to her and Sierra. “What if we don’t want to live without you?”
His “we” wasn’t lost on her.
She leveled her gaze at him. “We don’t always get what we want.”
He pressed his lips together. A muscle ticked at his jaw. “That’s—”
“Charlie will make the decision that’s right for her.” Ty rode up along her right side, but his gaze focused on Zack. “Got it?”
“No, I don’t get it.” The intensity in Zack’s green-gold eyes sent her blood rushing to the tips of her Ariat boots then boomeranging up again. “Doing something you love, with people you like, near your hometown is a no-brainer. Hell, your mom lives in Billings. Why move all the way to Colorado?”
“You,” the word burst from her lips.
Zack’s brows drew together. “Huh?”
Oh, crap. She swallowed around the rodeo belt buckle sized lump in her throat.
“You… wouldn’t understand.”
Please buy that. Please, oh, please, oh, please.
His lopsided grin took ten years off his face and tripped her heart.
“Try me,” he said.
Charlie couldn’t blame him for her feelings or be upset he wasn’t interested in her romantically. She was the one who kissed him first. Of course, he had kissed her back. That didn’t make her special. Any guy in his situation would have done the same. But she was tired of getting upset at herself over this—over him.
“I don’t think so.”
Zack would never understand. That much she knew. As long as he was around her, no man could compete with the way she’d built him up in her mind, magnified his kisses in her memory and set her heart on him, only him. All the wranglers were good guys, but Zack’s kindness and thoughtfulness set him apart from the other cowboys. He would go out of his way for anybody, and had, but until that night she’d never seen such a display of openness or display of emotion or love for his fallen friend. He’d touched her heart in a way she’d never expected.
But now…
Her future held nothing but frustration if she continued on a path of unrequited love. But the thought of leaving the ranch made her feel as if she’d been caught in the middle of a stampede and trampled, but her need to end the romance wasteland she’d been living in buoyed her with a new resolve.
She raised her chin. “But you’re right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“This should be an easier decision to make. Thanks for getting me back on track.”
Colorado was her only choice if she wanted to step out of the box she’d put herself into and have a romance with someone special. Charlie did. She had so much love to give, and wanted to give, but she needed to find a man who would love her back. For herself. Not some cowboy whose personal rules couldn’t be broken or amended. At first, she wondered if she might have a chance with him if they didn’t work together, but as time went on, she questioned whether he’d used his rule as an excuse to let her down gently. Whichever, she needed to fix this mess.
A sighed welled up inside her. Yeah, and once she was no longer crazy for him, she needed to find someone else. He didn’t have to be a wrangler. But whoever that guy turned out to be, she hoped he was a lot like Zack Harris.
*
Back at the Bar V5, horses put away in their stalls, Zack leaned against the doorway to the barn. A warm breeze carried the familiar smell of cow, horses, and dirt. Paradise Valley was God’s country, a land like no other he’d seen. And he’d seen many during his time in the army. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to leave this place permanently.
Especially Charlie.
She’d worked at the Bar V5 longer than him. She considered this ranch home the same as him. But something in her tone on the ride back told Zack she’d made a decision.
The wrong one.
Not going to happen.
He rested a booted foot against the door jamb. Sweat soaked through his T-shirt and dampened his hairline. Dirt covered his jeans. A cold drink and a shower sounded like heaven. But he couldn’t head to the bunkhouse without talking with Charlie first.
He hadn’t understood her going to Colorado this past winter, but she hadn’t traveled much and he knew she was coming back to the Bar V5 so he hadn’t worried. This time would be different.
Ty exited the barn with Dusty at his heels and Onyx, a black barn cat, at his side. He looped a thumb into his jean pocket. “Thought you’d be at the bunkhouse.”
“Something I want to take care of first.”
His friend, who happened to be his boss, gave him a hard, knowing look. “If this has anything to do with Charlie—”
“She belongs here.”
“Something’s calling her to Colorado or pushing her away from here.”
“Not me.” Zack raised his hands, palms forward. “We… I haven’t—”
Damn, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. A mixture of embarrassment and something he couldn’t name.
Ty grinned wryly. “Didn’t think so. Divorced couples get along better than you two.”
“That’s her doing, not mine. I’ve been treating her the same as I did… before.”
Before Charlie kissed him, and he kissed her back.
Zack didn’t regret many things in his life, but he regretted that night with her at the river. He’d been overwrought by grief following Davey’s death. Words coupled with emotion had poured out. He’d opened up like never before.
Charlie had been there to listen and comfort. A touch on the arm led to
holding hands. Her kissing him turned into a make-out session. More than one. Unexpected, but what he’d needed. She’d been so caring and kind and loving. So soft and feminine, something he hadn’t expected from the cowgirl who acted like a cowboy most of the time.
He’d wanted more. Her. Until sunrise made him see the light and realize the mistake he’d made by thinking about what he wanted, not his fellow wranglers and what was best for the Bar V5.
Relationships changed group dynamics. Zack had seen that happen during deployments where friendships became stressed and people got hurt. One woman had caused his squad to implode. He didn’t want that to happen at the Bar V5, his home now, his… family. A romance would affect the wranglers in a negative way.
He’d also heard Charlie’s friends talk about her search for the perfect guy. Perfect didn’t describe him. Far from it. She deserved more than a guy like him could give her.
He wasn’t capable of making a commitment to a woman because of his parents. Charlie was a forever type of girl. Any fool could see that. He’d been a fool to think he could have her, even for one night. “If I could take back what happened…”
“So you’ve said.”
“But that was over a year ago and can’t be the reason she wants to leave now. All we did was talk and kiss. Hell, she made the first move. No big deal.” But they could have easily made the night into something more, something special. He shook the thought from his head.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s not like Charlie to hold a grudge,” Ty said. “The horse ranch may have made her a better job offer. Or she could have met a guy in Colorado. Wants to be with him.”
Zack’s stomach clenched. Charlie was pretty, even when she tried downplaying her looks. But she seemed more interested in the livestock than men. He’d heard talk of dates, random gossip at Grey’s Saloon, but he hadn’t seen her out with a guy. “You think?”
“That would explain her wanting to move there.”
Yeah, more so than anything else, but… “Why wouldn’t she tell us? And why all the waffling?”
“She’s a woman.” Ty reached down and scratched under Onyx’s neck. The cat purred like a John Deere tractor. “One thing I learned raising Rachel is a female’s thought process is different from ours.”
This should be an easier decision to make. Thanks for getting me back on track.
Maybe, but Zack needed to know what Charlie meant by those words. None of his business. He’d been telling himself that for two months, ever since Ty mentioned Charlie might not stay at the Bar V5. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Remember what I said. The decision is hers. Don’t try to change her mind if her heart’s set on leaving.”
As if anything Zack did or said could do that, but in good conscience, he had to try. He’d lost track of his parents, who hadn’t contacted him in over a decade. In jail or dead? Those were the likeliest options for the woman and man he’d called mom and dad. He’d never searched for his parents, afraid of what he might learn. What remained of his army family kept in contact, but spending time together hadn’t happened with them so spread out. He needed to keep his ranch family together. Sure, people came and went, but the wranglers had stuck together for the past two and a half years, ever since he’d arrived. And Charlie…
She cared about him, about all of them. Wranglers cared about each other, the way he did for Charlie. She would be happiest at the Bar V5, not with some guy she barely knew in another state.
Now to convince her.
Chapter Two
‡
A minute later, Zack watched Ty walk toward the bunkhouse, the animals following as if he were the Pied Piper. Horses loved him, too, and would be in line if they weren’t locked in their paddocks. The guy had a gift.
Like Charlie.
Zack had to convince her to stay. He hopped onto the top rail of the nearby fence. He’d sit while he waited.
A few minutes later, Charlie stepped out of the barn. Two copper braids hung down from her hat. The only time he’d seen her wear make-up had been at Nate and Rachel’s wedding. Charlie had worn a dress showing off long, toned legs no one expected, least of all him. He’d had to keep his distance that night and keep the other wranglers away from her, too.
She might act like a cowboy, rough and tumble, ready to jump into a fight if called upon, but she was girl-next-door pretty, with blue eyes that sparkled and a generous mouth that readily curved into a smile. He didn’t let himself think of her as a woman often. Treating her like a guy kept him from focusing on her soft lips, sweet scent, and sexy curves.
She rubbed the back of her neck. “Thought you’d be at the bunkhouse by now.”
He shrugged. “Was waiting for you.”
She inhaled sharply.
Ty was right about them not getting along. She seemed more pissed off today. He jumped off the fence and closed the distance between them. “Got a few minutes?”
“For?”
The blues of her eyes reminded him of two tempting, deep pools of water. Perfect to jump into when he was hot and sweating. Truth was, drowning in her didn’t sound like a bad way to go. The reason that would be a mistake poked at him like hungry mosquitos.
“I want to talk,” he said.
She glanced toward the main house, a worried expression on her face. “We’re expected to mingle with the guests. Nate and Ty will be fuming if we show up for dinner smelly and dirty.”
“Won’t take long.”
For a minute, he thought she might say no, then she crossed her arms over her chest. “Shoot.”
“You said I wouldn’t understand about Colorado. Maybe not, but give me the chance.” He kept his tone light.
She looked as skittish as a newborn colt.
“I might surprise you.”
“You always surprise me,” she muttered.
“What was that?” he asked even though he’d heard her.
Charlie’s discerning gaze ran the length of him. “My choice doesn’t affect you.”
“Not true,” the words came out stronger than he intended.
Her lips parted slightly. “Yeah, right.”
“We have a good crew of wranglers. Sure, Ty can hire someone to take your place, but you work hard. You’re the only one who can keep Bluebelle from conking her head against the gate. You’ll be hard to replace.”
Charlie did more than most men around here, and she never complained about the work, the dirt, or any of the more prickly guests who arrived thinking they knew everything about ranch life.
He continued. “You can sweet-talk the cattle, horses, and guests like no one else. Don’t waste your gift. Stay at the Bar V5.”
“The ranch in Colorado might not have cattle, but they’ve got plenty of horses for me to work with over the winter. Colorado sure is pretty with all the snow.”
“So is Montana. Trust me. You don’t want to miss Rachel’s gingerbread or the Christmas dinner she’ll cook.”
Zack looked around at the fences, outbuildings, and the red barn, the oldest building at the ranch. A feeling of warmth settled over his chest. The way he’d felt the first time he’d trekked down the Bar V5’s long driveway after hearing in town the dude ranch might have an opening.
“Colorado is too far away,” he said. “I haven’t been here nearly as long as you, but the Bar V5 is my home. You and the other wranglers are my family. The ranch is all I’ve got. I don’t want that to change.”
“No one is irreplaceable,” Charlie said. “Anyone of us could get injured or quit.”
“True that, but you’re the only one thinking about leaving right now.” Her nonchalance over taking another job bugged him. She’d told him she considered the wranglers her family, too. “Our crew’s mish-mash personalities and skills remind me of being in the military. Don’t have all the regulations to follow, paperwork to deal with, or the hurry up and wait scenarios, but until I found this place, I was lost, struggling to find my way back in the civilian world. Ty took a chance on me.
The way he does with most of us. Is leaving how you want to repay him?”
She flinched. “Don’t try to guilt trip me into staying. If you remember, I helped train you. I have my reasons for leaving.”
“Some guy.”
Lines creased her forehead. “Excuse me?”
“There has to be a guy involved. That’s the only reason that makes sense.” He waited for her to deny his assumption, but she didn’t. “Who is he?”
She flushed, then lowered her gaze. “Doesn’t matter.”
Ty had been correct, but Zack didn’t feel any relief. He kicked the tip of his boot into the dirt. “If I’m going to have to train someone to take your place, I want to know who’s taking you away from the Bar V5.”
She started to speak then stopped herself. “Just a guy I like. We’re not dating or anything.”
He wondered about her definition of anything. “Yet you’re thinking about moving because of him?”
“I-I… yes.”
Something felt off. “You don’t sound sure.”
Her jaw tensed. “I will be certain by the time I tell Ty my decision on Monday.”
So much for thinking she’d made her choice. “You’re still deciding?”
She nodded once, a pained expression on her face.
He didn’t like seeing her in such turmoil. Kissing her would make her felt better, but his rule existed for a reason. One he would be hard-pressed to forget. “Might be easier if you found a guy closer to home.”
“Hard to do when I’m working all the time.”
“So how’d you meet this guy?”
Charlie twirled the end of a braid with her finger. “Work.”
“He’s a cowboy?” Zack asked.
Another nod. She wouldn’t meet his gaze.
Interesting. His rule kept him from kissing her again, but maybe some other guy’s kisses would be enough to make her stay put. “Forget going to Colorado. There are lots of cowboys in Montana. Hell, Marietta for that matter.”
Kiss Me, Cowboy (Montana Born Rodeo Book 3) Page 2
