Louise

by Diana Nixon

  “You have a private dance scheduled for next Sunday.”

  “Again?” I asked, as if I were surprised.

  “Mmm. The man that you danced for the other night, has paid for another dance. He must have really enjoyed the last one.”

  Thinking about Tess’s secrets, I didn’t have time to think about the upcoming meeting. I didn’t even realize I was not afraid of it anymore. I just knew it would be special, which only made the expectations even more exciting.

  “Are you scared?” Kate asked, apparently taking my silence as a bad sign.

  “No. I mean, yes… A little.”

  “But he was nice to you last time he watched you dance, wasn’t he?”

  “Oh, yes, he was very nice. Left good tips and didn’t try to do anything, you know … improper.”

  “Good. Which means you don’t have anything to worry about. Do you need a room to train?”

  “Do you know which room he wants me to dance in?”

  “Room nine, if I am remembering correctly.”

  An idea came to my mind. “Is there a pole in that room?”

  “Yes, why?” Kate asked, looking at me suspiciously.

  “I just want to try something different this time.”

  She shook her head, smiling. “You are not going to undress, are you?”

  “Of course, not. It’s not a strip club, remember?”

  “Be careful, Louise. Men can be aware of the rules, but they are still men, made of flesh and blood that you’d do best by not trying to boil.”

  I smirked, rising to my feet. “I’ll remember that.”

  “Before you go, I would like to tell you a few words about pole dancing. Or do you know how to do pole dancing?”

  I giggled, sitting down. “I have no clue.”

  “Good. It makes me believe you will do it all just great.”

  “Okay, stop laughing at me. Better tell me what to do with the damn pole.”

  “First of all, you will need a proper pair of shoes. They should be made of plastic, so you could use them to support yourself on the pole. Some girls dance without them, but I’ll be damned if I know how to do it without ripping my skin on my feet. It will be your first pole dance, so you’d better not try too much of those climbing-up-the-pole things. It’s pretty scary to climb up that fucker for the first time.” I laughed and Kate proceeded. “Don’t get me wrong, but I remember the first time I watched girls dancing around the pole. They did different flips and tricks, and I just kept thinking, Oh, Lord… There’s no way I’m gonna repeat it all without killing myself! But eventually, I learned everything, and even managed to get a job in a strip club where pole was like my third hand; you can’t strip without dancing on and around it first. So if you don’t know what to do once you climb up the pole, just make it spin, but be careful, I don’t want you to break your neck or anything. When the pole is spinning, you are spinning with it. After you learn how to climb the pole and make it spin, try to lay back, with both legs firmly wrapped around the pole. Then take one leg and stretch it out while the other knee is wrapped around the pole with the shoe wrapped around securing your body weight to the pole so you don’t fall. This will look good. Once you know how to do all of the above, try winging yourself up and around the pole and laying vertically with your body flush with the pole spinning the entire time. In this position your thighs are mostly what hold you up, but your feet and shoes add extra security to make sure you do not plummet head first into the ground.”

  “Okay, it sounds a little complicated, but I think I get the main rules.”

  “Good. Call me if you need help. I might not be able to train with you today, I have a lot to do before the show. But I can come and watch your dance any other day.”

  “I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

  I smiled at Kate, left the café, and went back to my room, hoping to find a proper outfit for the dance. I was not lying to her, my dance was not supposed to be about stripping the clothes off of my body. It was supposed to be more like an apology for yesterday’s running away. Even though it was also going to involve a pole…

  There were ten different rooms for private dancing in the club, only three of which had poles. We called them ‘red rooms’. And yes, despite how much Drew hated saying the club did allow stripteases, we all knew using red rooms meant leaving some clothes on the floor.

  I had never used a pole to dance before, but somehow, I knew Mr. Secret would love my experiment. I chose a bright-red dress with a corset and a short flared skirt that could be easily removed without anyone’s help. As for my dance, I thought it would be different too. A little more open, a little more daring…

  I remembered the dream I had last night. A part of me still hurt – in a very pleasurable way – at the thought of the scenario coming true. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it would be to feel his lips on mine. Did he know how much I wanted him to kiss me? Did he see how little I cared about the time we knew each other and how much I wanted to be with him, in the most sensual way? I only hoped he wouldn’t think I was just another show girl that could be easily seduced by a few compliments and money.

  I took the dress and went to room nine to try a few moves. My thoughts were miles away from the club and everything going on there, I didn’t see Tess entering one of the private dance rooms. Only when I was about to unlock my room, I heard her saying, “We have a lot of work tonight, I won’t be able to leave unseen.”

  “Then why don’t I pay some extra cash for a private dance?” A man’s voice said. I didn’t know clients were allowed into the club before the nightly shows started.

  “You are not the only one who wants to see me in a private room, Rodger. Besides, I doubt you have enough money to pay for two nights in a row with me.”

  “Didn’t you like dancing for me last night?” He put emphasis on the word dancing, clearly dancing was not what he meant by the term.

  I frowned. Tess wasn’t working last night… Or was he talking about the ‘dancing’ she did outside the club?

  “It was okay. But I have work to do. I can’t waste all of my time on you.”

  “Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” he said in a harsh voice. “We both know that I’m the only person who can help you with your small problem.”

  “Speaking of which… Did you find out anything about the policeman I told you about?”

  “Yes. And I’m sure you will like it. You always like the news that I bring you.”

  “It doesn’t give you any extra rights, though.”

  “No, really? What if I go tell Drew about your little games outside the club?”

  “Go, do whatever you want. He won’t believe you.”

  “Are you sure about that? I heard he started doubting your loyalty a long time ago. So what do you think might stop him from throwing you out of here?”

  There was a short pause, then Tess said, “Okay. You can come back tonight. I will dance for you. But no more than that.”

  “I want a special dance, in a red room.”

  “Fine.”

  I heard footsteps and hurried to hide behind the door to my dance room before Tess would be able to notice I had been eavesdropping.

  I didn’t like the conversation I had heard, at all. Something was telling me that Tess was in trouble, even if she, herself, didn’t know it yet.

  I sighed, worried. How was I supposed to find out what was going on without making Kate and Drew suspicious? I was sure if I started asking more questions, they would realize I must be up to something they might not like. I looked at the dress I was still holding in my hands. I still had about a week to get ready for another private dance, but considering the amount of shows I would have before it, I doubted I would get another chance to practice. But no matter what, the upcoming dancing session was so much more important than anything else. So I went to the pole and the training started.

  ***

  As expected, Sunday night was the craziest time of the week for Le Papillon. The clu
b was overcrowded. It felt like people were everywhere, and not I couldn’t even hide from nonstop calls for help from the girls who were getting ready for the show.

  “Louise, I need a different pair of stockings, these look awful with my costume.” Natasha was almost crying, standing at the threshold of my room. “How could I not notice that last night? I tried the outfit like five times, and not even once did I think about changing the damn stockings!”

  “Don’t worry, I think I have a pair that will match your top perfectly.” I searched through my drawers. “Here. Take these gloves as well, I think they will look good on you.”

  “Thank you so much, Dear.” She hugged me tight. “I would be lost without you. You know Kate, she hates when something doesn’t look perfect.”

  But I had my own reasons to be that generous with Natasha. Not that I didn’t wish her luck with her dance, but I also wanted to ask her a few questions. Last night, I saw her and Tess coming back late again, and I had no doubt they didn’t have permission to leave the club on Saturday night.

  “I bet it’s hard to get back to work after a long day off.”

  “I’m sure it is, but I don’t remember the last time I had a day off. You know my dancing skills suck, I need to spend days and nights training.”

  “Oh, and I thought you had a day off yesterday. I heard you come back in fairly late.”

  Her face paled. She stared at me terrified, apparently afraid I would start asking more questions, but I was smarter than that.

  “I woke up thirsty and saw that my water pitcher was empty. I went to the café to get some water and saw you heading for your room.”

  “Oh, so you didn’t see or… Hear anything else?”

  “What do you mean? I thought you were alone, were you not?”

  “I was alone. Never mind.” A nervous laugh escaped her lips. “I’m just so nervous about the show tonight. I am acting like a complete idiot.”

  I smiled, wordlessly. I should find a different opportunity to make her talk. Maybe after the show, when she’s less scared about doing or saying something wrong.

  “I gotta go, my dance starts in five,” she said, looking one last time in my mirror. “Thanks again for the gloves, they are stunning.”

  “You are welcome.” I closed the door behind her and got back to painting my nails. Every small part of me should be perfect tonight.

  Natasha was just a few months older than me, and from what I could see, she was not as smart as I first thought she was. Apparently, it took Tess less than two seconds to make her obey her orders. What did Tess promise her? Money? Jewelry? Shoes? I doubted Natasha was interested in sleeping with the clients. She didn’t look like that kind of girl. But she obviously knew something that could help me figure out what was going on with Tess. I just needed more time to get the needed information from her.

  Hours later, when it was time for my private dance to start, I got dressed and headed for one of the red rooms, hoping Mr. Secret would like what I had prepared for him.

  As expected, the room was empty. Apparently, he was waiting for me to get ready for the dance. This time, there was a CD player sitting on a small table in the corner. I had a CD with the song I was going to use for my dance. I put it in and the sounds of music filled the entire space around me. I came to the couch and took one of the blindfolds lying on it.

  “Let me help you,” the familiar voice said behind me.

  I smiled. “How do you do this?”

  “Do what?” Mr. Secret asked, taking the piece of fabric from my hands.

  “You always show up unheard, and disappear without a sound.”

  “If you want to know whether I’m real or not, then the answer is yes, I am more than real. It’s just the music quieting the sounds we make…”

  The beating of my heart became faster. I was sure the choice of his words was not accidental. He was playing with me, again. Only this time, I was going to join in the game.

  “I have something for you,” I said, as I turned around.

  “I can see that. Lovely dress, by the way.”

  I smirked. “I was actually talking about the dance. And about the things that can’t be well seen with this dress on.”

  I could swear, he was speechless, because for the next few moments, I didn’t hear anything but his uneven breathing on my face.

  “I can’t wait to see what you have prepared for me,” he finally said.

  I walked around him and came to the pole. It was not hard to find it. The room wasn’t big, so even with my eyes blindfolded, it was easy to orient myself with my surroundings.

  I was wearing high heels that I bet would kill anyone trying to wear them outside the club, but since there was a pole I could hold on to, I wasn’t afraid of falling. Plus, I knew Mr. Secret was watching me now, I couldn’t afford to screw up.

  With one hand holding the pole, I took a few steps around it, before sliding slowly to the floor, with my back pressed against its metal surface. Then, getting up and standing on one leg, I gave my body a little push to make it spin around the pole. The main thing here was to never let the pole go. At least it was one of a few things that I knew about pole dancing.

  I pulled myself away from the pole, and then wrapped one leg around it, spinning with my other leg stretched aside. Every move felt so natural, so easy, as if I had always danced like this, for this very man. I remembered the words I said to Kate about stripteases… I wasn’t sure if I would really never dance a striptease for anyone anymore. In fact, I wanted to give it a try… Maybe not right there and then, but one day.

  I kept swirling around the pole, as if it was a man I was dancing with. Not even for a second did I feel like I was doing something wrong. I was sure my every move appeared perfect, just the way it was supposed to be. By the time my dance was about to end, I felt so good, even a little high, as if it was not just a dance I was enjoying, but a drug I couldn’t get enough of. I pulled the edge of my skirt and threw it away, leaving myself in a red corset, with stockings and matching bright-red high heels. With my hands holding the pole high above my head, I was just about to make the last move, when suddenly…

  “Louise,” I heard my name whispered right along with the hands, sliding up my sides. The dance was not over yet, but all of a sudden, I felt like I couldn’t move, as if spellbound by the touch. “You are such a tease, a dare that is so hard to ignore.”

  “I’m not done teasing you yet,” I said, taking a step into the welcoming embrace that I missed so much.

  “I know. But I don’t think I can stand it anymore.”

  “Didn’t you like my dance?”

  “You know the answer. I couldn’t not like it. It was like all my fantasies about you were coming true.”

  “Is dancing the only thing that we are doing in your fantasies?”

  “You are not helping, you know?”

  “I wasn’t trying to be helpful,” I said teasingly. I knew I was risking a lot. He could leave at any second, and I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I only hoped he wanted to stay as much as I wanted him to stay with me.

  “I want to give you something to remember me by,” he said, caressing my chin with his fingertips. “I want to give you this.” The next moment his lips were on mine, kissing me with so much need and passion, I think I forgot how to breathe. The kiss was anything but slow and easy; it was giving and taking, begging and demanding, as if he wanted to tell me something with that kiss, the something that I was obviously missing. I could feel how desperate he was. I didn’t need to see his face to know it. His lips said it all. As if he was drinking me in; every breath I took, every beat my heart made, every small move that my body made next to his.

  But it was still not enough… Now that I knew what it was like to actually feel him, I didn’t want to stop. I think at that very moment, there was nothing but him that I could think about. I wasn’t afraid of being caught, I wasn’t afraid of being fired, I just wanted to run away with him, somewhere we could be together for re
al, with nothing separating our bodies and minds, with our kisses and moves saying it all for us.

  His fingers tangled in my hair, I heard him moaning into my mouth. “This is too much, Louise… You are too much.” And then, his lips were back on mine, so soft, so sweet, with the velvet of his tongue searching mine, teasing, tasting, playing.

  “I want to see the rest of your dance, but not now, not here.”

  “Why not now?” I asked, desperately. I couldn’t believe he was going to say good-bye, leaving me in agony that I didn’t know how to deal with.

  “Because if you keep dancing like you did before, I don’t think I can stop at watching you. I will tear this lovely corset off of you, I will kiss every inch of you, until you no longer remember how to take a breath. And then… God, then I will probably do things that will never let me cross the threshold of this unholy place again. And that, is one thing that I can’t let happen. Not now…”

  Chapter 10

  “You always say one and the same thing — not now. What is so different about now that might change after some time?”

  He sighed, pressing his forehead to mine. “You are so young, Louise... You shouldn’t be here. You deserve so much better than this… Men pay for your dance, for your beauty, but I don’t want to be one of those bastards who care about nothing but using women. I’ve been waiting for you for too long to let my body’s needs ruin it all.”

  “But I want to be with you. In the way I know you want to be with me too.”

  “It’s not that simple. Even if we give in to the temptation, it won’t change anything, but make us suffer even more. Because you will still need to get back here, to work for Drew, until he decides to let you go. Not even I can change it.”

  “Then why are you here now?”

  “Because I know that one day, you will be allowed to leave. And I can’t wait for that day to come.”

  “Why me?” I guess it was the most important question I had ever asked. I still didn’t know why Mr. Secret chose me. No one has ever placed a priority on me before. “What is so different about me?”