by Pip Adam
But there was nothing solid. Nothing enough to stand on. There was no island. She pushed the polystyrene like a kick board through the grime. There was a jelly-like algae on everything. Everything was slippery. Slimy. Tiny pieces of plastic floated past her. Fish had been caught in the lines and the things that hold cans together. There was a dreadful smell. There was nowhere to stand. It was a mess. This was her new home. But other places had not been like people had expected them to be. Look at Dunedin. Dunedin had been planned in Edinburgh by someone who hadn’t even seen it. It would be okay. She could make it work. She was committed now, and it would be okay.
She started pulling things to her. She tied some plastic bottles to the polystyrene using rope and a fishing net. Then some plastic bags bloated up with the warm air coming off the sea. Finally it was big enough for her to kneel on, and she pulled other things to her and tied them. The wetsuit was hot and the sun was hot and she was hot, but she worked. And before long it was stable enough to stand on. She had to swim underneath it to make it stable below the shift of her walk. She was still moving as she built. Still drifting. The octopus came past and then left – in disgust, she expected.
Later, when the sun went down, she pulled up one of trapped fish and sat on her raft and watched the sun go down all the way for the first time. There was nothing left to do but wait. There would be high waves and there would be storms and the wind would blow hard. There would be rain and she would drink again. She was like an axolotl, she thought. But then she ate, and she didn’t think anymore. She laughed.
Acknowledgements
In my mind this book is largely about work and I would like to thank everyone who employed me while I was writing it. While work is obviously and importantly a source of income, it also makes it possible for me to write in so many other ways. Work gets me ‘in the world’ and exposes me to ideas and experiences I do not seek out independently. These often become the heart of the stories I write. I am particularly grateful for the work I get to do with other writers and have been especially humbled and inspired by the men and women in correctional facilities who I work with. I do this work with William Brandt, Gigi Fenster, Rajorshi Chakraborti and James George, who have taught me so much about how to be a writer and teacher.
I also think of this book as my love song to the profession of hairdressing. Hairdressing was good to me, it paid my rent and fed me and taught me so much about people and beauty. While writing this book I have been reminded of the many amazing people I met during my time hairdressing and how their words and our time together come back to me often.
My parents are hard workers who went to great lengths to balance that hard work with creativity. Our house was always filled with the sound of my father’s music. As children my mother made us beautiful clothes. My magnificent aunt painted and designed interiors as a source of income. My brother works very hard at his art and to support his family. There are people everywhere making beautiful things in the small parts of their lives other responsibilities leave them. Sometimes they create these things for others, sometimes they create them for the challenge and reward of making. There are also so many people without work or who work hard for unfair and inadequate financial recompense. This book is also the story of the changing economic shape of Aotearoa and the confusion and sadness the increasing inequity brings me.
This book was written in the shadow of three great books. Carl Shuker introduced me to Philip Hensher’s Kitchen Venom and it immediately because a very important noise in my head while writing The New Animals. Maria McMillan wrote about Janet Frame’s Intensive Care and the structure of that book also became very important to me as I wrote. Finally, Anna Smaill suggested another Frame book, A State of Siege, which helped me to write the last part of the book.
Many thanks to my friends – I’m blessed to be surrounded with amazing people.
I often think that when my child looks back on this phase of their life, ‘Pip’ will be a shadowy figure constantly saying, ‘Are you okay? I have to go upstairs and write/work.’ Toki is an awesome person who inspires me daily with their courage and mind. Without Toki and my partner Brent nothing would be possible. They surround me with art and music and laughter.
Thanks to everyone at Victoria University Press who continue to support my writing: Fergus, Kirsten, Craig, Kylie, Holly (who gave this book its title) and Ashleigh who helped so much in the editing.
Finally, thank you to Kerry Ann Lee whose work and practice has been a guiding light which brings me joy and hope.
