by Nikki Rashan
“Wow,” Nisha said, startled by the affectionate gesture. She puckered her lips and softly kissed the paper where I left my imprint. “A sugar kiss. Thank you.”
I didn’t say anything, only smiled at her. We rode quietly the remainder of the ride.
“I don’t know how many times I can say thank you,” she said when we arrived at her apartment building.
“You’re welcome, Nisha. Really, it’s no big deal.”
“I’ll see you?” she asked cautiously.
“You will,” I told her and then tapped on the glass. The driver opened Nisha’s door.
“Good night, Sugar,” she said before stepping out of the limo. We waited until she was inside her apartment building and the door closed behind her.
“Home, ma’am?” the tired driver asked for the second time once back inside.
“Yes, home.”
“Long night for you,” he stated.
“Yes, a long night with a perfect ending,” I responded as the glass separated us once again.
I pulled out my phone and clicked on my Twitter app. Sugar @SugarChitown Had a great time tonight. Thx guys and gals. Sending sweet sugar kisses to u!
Chapter 5
Sugar Momma
“This is what happens when you don’t listen,” Ace said angrily, slapping a newspaper against her desk. I had just walked into her office and closed the door behind me when she erupted. “You can’t disobey me, Sugar, not like this.”
“What are you talking about?” I quizzed, annoyed by her attitude toward me.
“This.” She threw the newspaper at me after I sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.
I picked up the paper, a local publication circulated primarily on the north side of Chicago. At the bottom of the front page were two photos of me at the club a few nights prior. The headline above the photographs read Sugar Delight with a short summary that chronicled my evening, including how long I had stayed on the dance floor, with added focus on the dance I shared with Nisha. A portion of the article read: “Sugar and Nisha, a member of the local band Beau, shared a drink at the bar before they hit the dance floor. The two were seen departing the club in the same limousine.”
I shrugged my shoulders and casually placed the newspaper on Ace’s desk. “My gay fans will be pleased.”
Ace was vexed. The nostrils of her narrow nose flared. “Do you know how this looks?”
I shrugged again. “It’s all true so there’s nothing to be mad at,” I responded, unconcerned.
“This is not the kind of attention you want to bring to yourself,” Ace contended. “And who in the hell is this Nisha?” Ace demanded to know.
I smiled mischievously. “She’s someone I met that night. Lovely young lady. A bass player.”
“So after you turn me down and act like you’re going home, you decide to stray off to a gay club and pick up another woman?”
“First, I never told you I was going home. I only said I wasn’t going home with you. Second, I didn’t pick her up. We talked and we danced, that’s it.”
“That’s not it; you let her inside your limo. What’s up with that?”
“I offered her a ride home.”
“Why?”
“Because I was enjoying her company and wanted to extend it as long as possible.”
Ace was quiet, and then laughed. “I get it, Sugar, I get it. You’re trying to teach me a lesson, make me jealous maybe? This is not the way to go about it. Not by giving the media something to gossip about. We just talked about this. You know better.”
“I know better than what? To hang out at a gay club? Why not? I am gay.”
“I’ll tell you why. I was going to wait until I had more details to share this with you, but I may as well go on and share it with you now. We are so close to signing a deal for you to sing a duet with your favorite male singer, and you know who I’m referring to. He wants you, Sugar. Out of all the popular female artists out here, he wants you. If this goes well, who knows what this can lead to for you?” She leaned forward. “We can’t chance any lesbian rumors about you, Sugar. Who’s going to listen to a lesbian sing a love song to her man?”
“Are you serious?” I screamed, unable to contain my excitement. I jumped up and sat on Ace’s desk in front of her. “E doesn’t want Alicia, or J-Hud or Beyoncé?”
Ace placed her hands on my thighs and squeezed. “He wants you, baby, you. We fly to L.A. next week.”
“Ace, this is a dream come true!” I squealed.
“It is. And that’s why I need you to lay off all these emotions you’ve been going through. I understand we’re hiding our love, but that’s the nature of the game. As long as I stay true to you and you stay true to me, I don’t see what the problem is. You just sit back and let me take care of you like I’m supposed to. It’s not only my job but it’s my desire. I love you and only want the best for you. Let me handle this. Let me handle us. I got you,” she said convincingly.
I got up and walked to the window. Ace’s office was on the thirty-fifth floor of a downtown tower with a beautiful view of Lake Michigan. I stared into the water, deep in thought. For over ten years Ace had been my leading lady. In business, she had steered me in every right direction. There had not been one deal gone bad and not one person who had taken advantage of me, not under Ace’s guidance. She made sure I had the best of everything in every aspect of my life, including in the bedroom. Aside from keeping our love a secret, she had pleased me in every way.
“You know these emotions I’m going through aren’t new. I’ve wanted to come out for years and I won’t live like this forever,” I told her without turning from the window. “But, I’ll back off for now, Ace, until this record deal is confirmed. If you’re right about the success of this collaboration, I’ll lay low. I still won’t promise you I’ll stay quiet forever. I still feel like I’m trading my soul for a hit record and a paycheck.”
Ace walked and stood behind me. “Half the industry has secrets and skeletons, you’re not alone, and you know that.”
“I don’t care about everybody else, that’s what you don’t get,” I reminded her. “This is about my life, my heart.”
She put her arms around my waist and pressed her body against mine. “Shhh . . . Okay, okay. I hear you, baby. Just know I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy.” I turned to face her and she read my pleading expression. “Okay, not everything,” she clarified. “Is there anything I can do for you right now to put a smile on your pretty face?”
If she wasn’t going to satisfy my heart, she could at least satisfy my closet instead. “There’s a new pair of red bottoms I’ve been craving,” I told her.
“You got it.”
“And a Tiffany ring.”
“No problem. Anything else?”
“Yes, there is.”
“What is it?”
I reached for the handle attached to the blinds. I closed them and then walked to the couch at the end of Ace’s office. I slid off my shoes, unzipped my skirt, and lowered it over my hips to the floor. My panties were next. I stroked myself.
“Come here, momma, let me give you some sugar.”
Chapter 6
Sugar Temptation
Sugar @SugarChitown I’m back, y’all! L.A. was the sheezy! Come out tonight to check out the single.
“I’ve been waiting for you to come to one of our performances,” Nisha told me while I sat at a table between Ace and Franco. “I haven’t seen your face in the crowd yet. Guess I got anxious to see you again.”
We were at a sophisticated lounge just south of downtown at the listening party for a first play of the single I recorded with E in L.A. The song, “Feel My Love,” was a sexy mid-tempo track about the tenderness of lovemaking between a man and a woman. The label and everyone involved with the project was certain the single would be a success. We had just played the track to the crowd’s listening pleasure and praise. Now guests were mingling, sipping on drinks, and eating appetizers until it wa
s time for the meet and greet.
Nisha again expressed her unique style with black suede heels, purple and black striped leggings, and a sheer, sleeveless top. Her hair was combed into several long twists that were piled high into a bun at the crown of her head. Her lips and cheeks were colored in the same deep purple as her leggings, her eyes heavy with black shadow.
“Nisha, hello, good to see you.” I stood and reached for her hand, which she embraced between hers, a gesture Ace had done upon our first meeting. I remembered it vividly, as I had shared with Ace that it had been a turn-on when she cupped my hand between hers. Nisha and I looked at one another, a subtle affectionate exchange between us. Finally, Ace stood as well.
“Well, well, this is headline-making Nisha. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands. “I’m Ace, Sugar’s manager.”
“Yes, I know. It’s a pleasure,” Nisha replied.
“And this is Franco.” Ace gestured to Franco, who had remained seated with an absurd grin on his face. “Sugar’s boyfriend,” Ace added.
Franco stood and grabbed Nisha’s hand. “So nice to meet you,” he said, his voice deeper than his natural tenor. He had practiced using a lower tone when he spoke in his role as my man.
Nisha smirked. “Franco, I’ve seen you in pictures with Sugar. Great to meet you as well.”
We all stood awkwardly. “Are you alone? Would you like to join us?” Ace offered.
“I’m not alone but I’d like to join you, yes, thank you.” Nisha sat in the empty chair at Franco’s side.
“I read that you’re a member of a band,” Ace casually said to Nisha, like that was all she knew about her. Like she hadn’t gone online and read all she could find about Nisha and Beau, surprised and irritated that she hadn’t heard of their music already. And like she hadn’t mentioned her name and questioned my motives with her every time she got a little perturbed with me about my desire to come out, which I still brought up daily even though I had lied and said I’d give it a temporary rest.
“Yes, yes, I am. My friend and I started the band in high school, we grew the members to six, and we’ve been playing together for several years now.”
“Where do you all play?” Ace inquired.
“Oh, mostly little spots around the city.” Nisha listed a few venues.
“I know the owners of all those places. Actually, I have connections with the owners of most venues throughout the entire city,” Ace bragged.
I observed the way she leaned toward Nisha with an imaginary fishpole like Nisha was fish she wanted to bait. I tried to decipher Ace’s angle.
Nisha was intrigued. “That’s awesome. We sure could use someone like you in our corner. I mean, look at what you’ve done for Sugar.” Nisha looked me in the eyes. “She’s amazing.”
“That she is,” Ace agreed. She pulled out her business cardholder and handed Nisha a card. “I’d like for you to give me a call. Let’s talk.”
Franco and I exchanged a brief, curious glance before I devoured Ace with an intense stare.
“Really?” Nisha was elated.
“Yes, really.” Ace smiled, and glanced in my direction. Her expression spoke nothing.
“Again, thank you, thank you, both.”
“You’re welcome,” Ace replied. “So tell us, what do you think of ‘Feel My Love’? It’s hot, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s hot, you did those lyrics right, Sugar. You’re going to have all us fans dreaming about you at night. That is, if we’re not already.”
“Well of course I want my fans to have sweet dreams about me,” I said to her.
Franco put his arm around me and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Lucky me, I’m the only one whose dream is a reality.” He kissed my cheek and nuzzled his nose in my ear.
Ace laughed. Nisha smiled. I kicked him under the table.
“Will there be a video?” Nisha asked.
“Yes, we filmed it last week,” Ace told Nisha. “It’s going to debut on BET in a couple weeks. In the video, Sugar’s fans will get to see a side of her they’ve never seen.”
“How so?” Nisha asked.
Ace nodded to Franco. “I’m in the video,” Franco proudly announced. “The video is just as hot as the song,” he told Nisha.
The video had been shot in an ocean-side mansion in L.A. E and I shot scenes singing together in various luxurious rooms throughout the house and on the private beach. Separately, E sang his verses to a sexy, Brazilian woman while making love to her in the master bedroom. I was told that when the lights and cameras went off and the crew left the room, E and the woman remained in bed.
Franco and I shot in the morning on a balcony with the ocean as our backdrop. We wore only silk robes with Franco’s body grinding against mine in the front and from the back while I sang to him about how his body made me feel. Ace had stood on the opposite end of the balcony and watched the entire shoot. She told me that Franco and I looked good. I didn’t speak to her for the rest of that day.
“So do we get a taste of your lovemaking skills in the video?” she asked me.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I teased.
Ace shot me a dangerous look. I was walking that line I had promised I would stay away from and she was displeased. I didn’t know what it was about Nisha and why I couldn’t help but flirt with her. I had sworn to Ace that I wouldn’t do anything to reveal my secret until the single became a success, but a part of me refused to submit. I was Sugar; I still had a mind of my own and a right to do and say whatever I wanted to. Even if that was by flirting with someone else right in front of her. She might have been offended, but I was offended every time she insisted I front Franco as my man.
“When’s your next performance?” I asked. “With the single it’s been a busy time but I definitely want to see you perform.”
“I’ll set up a date for us to go when Nisha calls me,” Ace interjected.
I wanted to remind Ace that I could go attend any concert I wanted to without her help or approval. “Be sure you call soon, then,” I advised Nisha instead.
Ace stood. She had had enough. “Nisha, we’ll talk soon.” She eyed Nisha in a way that let her know her visit to our table was over.
Nisha stood as well. “Wonderful to meet you, Ace and Franco. Good night, Sugar.”
“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” I told her.
Nisha walked away, her hips swaying sweetly, and disappeared into the crowd.
Franco slapped his hand on the table to snap my attention away from Nisha’s ass. “Sugar, I get this is a fairy tale bullshit relationship and everything, but you can’t be playing me in front of people. I refuse to look like a fool,” he said to me and then looked to Ace. “And, I think y’all have some tweaks to work out. What the hell is up with the two of you? It’s clear that girl is fancying Sugar and you go setting up meetings with her?”
Ace leaned forward. “Franco, let me set this straight for you again, because you seem to keep thinking this is about you, and it’s not. You need to stay in your lane. You’re Sugar’s man, that’s it. You don’t even have to speak for all I care; just sit back, smile, and look at her just as smitten as her fans. You also don’t need to concern yourself with how I handle Sugar.”
“Excuse me, how you handle Sugar?” I interjected.
“Yes, how I handle you,” she stated confidently. “We’re on the right track, your dreams are about to manifest, and you keep testing the waters with that baby you call yourself flirting with.”
“I can do whatever I please,” I responded defiantly.
“Sugar, you promised,” Ace reminded me.
“I know what I said and don’t worry about it. Nobody is going to question anything when that video drops. Nobody will have any idea you and I are fucking behind the camera.”
“That’s enough,” Ace said, her words angry. Suddenly she smiled at someone approaching our table. “Hey, Randy, how are you?” She stood to greet one of the managers of the top-rated R&B station in Chicago.
> “Great, Ace. Just wanted to stop by and wish you and Sugar congratulations on the track. We’re looking forward to having you in the studio tomorrow morning when we play it for the first time.”
I stood to “air kiss” both of Randy’s cheeks. “I can’t wait, it’s always a blast. And I love that you treat me like a queen,” I said with a fake English accent and toss of my layered weave.
Randy chuckled. “You are the queen, Sugar. Will you be having the usual?”
“You know it. Green tea with lemon and honey. Thank you, love.”
He kissed my hand and then departed.
Ace resumed the conversation where she had left off. “Like I was saying, I don’t want to keep having this conversation. Drop it.”
“Well you just brought it back up, honey,” I informed her.
“Because I’m trying to put an end to this once and for all.”
“I know exactly how to put an end to it.”
She shook her head. “Not happening.”
“Never? You think I’m about to spend the rest of my life trapped in your closet? That’s what’s not happening.”
“Just let it go, Sugar. I’m tired of this. You’re ruining what should be a wonderful night.”
“No, I’m not. I’m good, babe. You’re the one getting flustered. I simply stated my truth. No matter how big this single is, no matter if I sign a multimillion dollar contract next week, you better believe someday the world will know exactly who Sugar is and what I represent. And you better believe they will love me just the same.”
“You don’t know that.”
“And you don’t know they won’t. Well I’m not worried. It won’t be nearly as controversial as you think. It’s not as if I’m out here singing love songs to Jesus. I’m Sugar, not a gospel singer coming out of the closet. And you really think people will start dragging your name through the mud if they learn we’re a couple?”
“It looks bad for business.”
“Is that right? So now I’m bad for business?”
