by Nikki Rashan
“I think we already know each other. Don’t we, Alicia?” the one she’d called cousin interrupted.
“We do?” I asked sarcastically.
There was something I couldn’t quite place about him. My first instinct was to worry that I’d arrested him or one of his relatives for something and he’d looked up my background. People did that sometimes; they’d take their anger out on the arresting officer for their loved one’s bad decisions.
He ignored my attitude. “We need to all take a shot while you think about it. Hell I’m going to make mine a double after the entrance you just made.”
It wasn’t until he turned to grab the tequila from the other counter that I noticed the long jet black ponytail hanging down his back and I could feel the fogginess slowly burn away from memories I’d long ago locked up. The texts from Brianna, the way I’d found my father.
“Why are you here, Carlos?” My tone was immediately demanding and emotionless.
“Got-damn! Quick Draw McGraw over here gonna give me a condition. Man, I shouldn’t have smoked that shit. I told y’all I don’t like to smoke in places I don’t know. Tia, get ya girl. Get ya girl.” Jin jumped when he was once again confronted with Destiny. Yes, I’d named my service weapon.
My pistol was cocked and aimed back on Carlos before any of them had a chance to even tip back their shots.
“Tajah . . .”
“Call me that again and Jah is exactly who you’ll be talking to next.”
“It’s not what you think, Alicia.” Carlos’s hands went up in surrender. “I didn’t know you were going to be here. Tia really is my cousin. She said come celebrate and have some drinks with her. I said okay. I’m just as shocked to see you as you are to see me. I thought you were dead.”
“If it were up to you I probably would be,” I retorted. Everything in me wanted to believe he was lying. But there was something in those eyes of his that took me all the way back to high school.
“Taj . . . Alicia, I was being watched because I found out what was going to happen to your pops and I was the only one against it. I asked Brianna to meet me after school to warn you without getting myself caught up. They were following me and listening so I had to act like I ain’t give a damn about you to try to warn you.”
I glanced cautiously at Tia and Jin. “Should they even be hearing this?” I nodded in their direction.
Jin grabbed Tia’s arm and began dragging her from the room, shouting, “Huh? What? I ain’t heard anything. Look, ma’am, I don’t have kids but I want to live to have kids hopefully with Tia one day if she’d just stop acting so damn saddi—”
“J, chill,” Carlos shouted at him before turning back to me. He went from night to day, anger to sincerity in the blink of an eye. “Alicia. They good, they’ve been with me through much worse and Tia is blood. Manny picked me up after school so I couldn’t interfere, that was it.”
I just felt so tired from so many years of carrying a burden on my shoulders that no one could lift or carry for me. Lowering my gun, I walked over to my kitchen table, grabbing a shot off the counter, and sat down. Without thinking I slammed the shot back and fought not to choke as the tequila burned its way down my throat, warming my stomach.
“Who murdered my father, Carlos?” My voice cracked from the tequila, from the emotional drain of finally having a conversation that I’d not had with a single living person in over ten years.
He covered the space of my huge kitchen in three long strides. Kneeling in front of me he stared up at me with regret and compassion. “You know I can’t betray them by naming them specifically. I’m bound by blood. But I’ll die helping you find them. I owe you that much for not being able to stop it. I’ve been in hiding for some time. They tried to recruit my little brother . . .” His voice caught and he stopped talking.
“They didn’t.” I vaguely remembered his little brother. He was at least seven years younger than me.
“Yeah, I refused to let him join. He had a scholarship to play football and . . .”
“You found him with his throat slit? Because no one refuses the coterie. What made you think you could protect him, Carlos?”
He didn’t respond right away and lowered his head. I offered him some comfort by rubbing his back. Tears were streaming down my own face at all the resurrected memories.
“And that red Camry? The old police chief?” I asked warily.
“I was being initiated. I only followed orders. I was in before I’d realized what I’d even done. Maybe I tried to protect my brother because of the things I’ve done but it was sincerely because I couldn’t help you. You were my God particle, my heart, remember that? When you disappeared, I blamed myself. This is some kind of reunion huh?” He tossed back a shot that was sitting on the kitchen table.
“Yup. Sounds like a real party,” I joked back. I must have looked bipolar as hell. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I wiped them away angrily while smiling at Carlos.
Jin who had apparently been eavesdropping poked his head around the corner, “Aww, Carlos. You are the closest, man; move her gun away and I’ll call everybody in for a group hug. She looks like she needs a hug.”
That one made even me laugh. He was such a character.
“Fuck a drink. I need to smoke after all this murder, death, kill talk.” Tia always wanted or needed to smoke something.
“Alicia, you gonna smoke this one with me?” She looked at me expectantly.
“To hell with it; it’s definitely been one of those days. Why not?”
We all relocated into the living room and once again I let the relaxing calmness overtake me and my eyes kept wandering over Carlos’s face. He looked older and yet still seemed to have remained exactly the same. He’d removed his leather jacket and I could see that his shoulders and chest seemed wider and broader. They stretched the fabric of his plaid button down and it tapered at his narrow waist. He was sitting beside me on the couch when he turned and caught me staring.
“You’re going to give me a complex if you keep doing that,” he said quietly before chuckling.
“Sorry, it’s just that you bring back so many memories. Good, mostly bad.”
“Well I have something for you. I kept it.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and unzipped a side compartment.
Time felt as if it had stopped and I sat there motionless with a million and one emotions running through me, as I stared at my daddy’s necklace hanging from his fingers.
“They always take a trophy. I stole it and Tony’s class ring as retribution. It was the least I could do.”
The gold medallion was cold against my skin and yet it felt so alive and so vibrant with Daddy’s energy that I could almost hear his voice.
“I want you to know,” Carlos began saying, “Atum-Rah was believed to be the first Egyptian god. When we take the oath of the coterie we are branded with a falcon holding a snake. Talion is the Latin word for retaliation.”
I’d started to get up and hug Carlos when the doorbell rang. We all looked at each other questioningly and I reached for my pistol, confused at it not being in its holster until I remembered I’d left it in the kitchen. No one ever came to my house unannounced.
Signaling for everyone to go upstairs, I retrieved Destiny and sprayed Febreze as I made my way to the front door. Relief swept through me when I saw it was only Lorenzo.
“Hey, Lo, what are you doing here?”
“I called and sent you texts, didn’t get an answer. Came to make sure y’all were okay.” He marched inside without an invitation, which immediately annoyed me.
“We’re fine. I went to the grocery store and Tia was upstairs asleep.”
“Whose truck is that out front?”
“It’s mine. And how are you, cousin?” Tia came downstairs in one of my bathrobes.
“Big truck for a small woman. Do I smell marijuana? Al, may I see you in the other room please?” He marched toward the kitchen before I could answer and I followed, but not be
fore giving Tia a wide-eyed stare that clearly stated, “Cousin? What the fuck?”
Who wasn’t this girl related to in my circle of people.
He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there. I noticed Carlos’s jacket hanging over the back of one of the chairs and moved to the opposite side of the kitchen.
“Alicia. You’re high, and don’t tell me otherwise. We do this shit for a living. If Chief found out—”
“No, if Chief found out Tia’s your family that you didn’t even want to pay to get witness protection for that might be interesting. Or that shit at the house with Vee. What were you really doing, letting off some steam because she put her hands on your baby cousin? The case that got us our break could go to shit if that girl says two words. ‘Police brutality.’ Don’t come in my house threatening me about what Chief finds out.”
“Al. Mi hermosa. No. No. That’s not even why I came over here.” He walked toward me, speaking that Spanish shit that I didn’t understand.
“Mami, you know we’ve had this connection ever since you found out that punta husband of yours wasn’t shit. I took care of that for you, remember. I got you out of that. Think, mujer. I want you. I can take care of you now. You don’t have to do this cop shit anymore; it’s beneath you. I’ve always wanted you to be mine.”
Lord, I was too damn high for all of this foolishness right now, and not with all the information Carlos had just thrown into the equation.
“No, Lorenzo. You are my partner. We can’t mix. That was all circumstantial; it just happened that we were there. Speaking of you being somewhere, since Tia is family and all, tell me about your little visit to her place earlier today.”
He scowled before turning and walking angrily away from me toward the kitchen table. He’d started to sit down but stopped when he saw Carlos’s jacket.
“Oh, I get it now.” His back was to me. He gently touched the sleeve before turning to face me. Staring at me silently, I could literally see his expression grow distant. It became stormy, resentful, and colder than the temperature outside.
“Business huh? So you gonna pay me for handling business then? Your husband wasn’t no Boy Scout. He was taking money to make innocent men guilty and guilty men innocent. The Padillas paid him crazy money and they were content with the favor I did them since Señor Padilla is behind bars. I even did you a favor and told them you didn’t know about the money.”
Wide-eyed, I stared at Lorenzo. Did everyone know what the fuck Davin was doing except for me? “That wasn’t a favor for me or anyone. You saw exactly what happened that night. What I saw.” My mind was reeling, trying to replay every step of the night in the garage.
Lorenzo walked up to me, his overbearing cologne reminiscent of Heinz 57 Sauce. Did he have to douse himself in that mess? Good Lord. He was so close I could see the light brown stubble underneath his chin and smell the slight scent of gin on his breath. He trailed his rough finger down my cheek.
“You fuck whoever you have upstairs and then you send them on their way for good. Go ahead and get it out of your system. Or, you come up with the 1.3 million dollars your husband squandered for Señor Padilla’s life. If not, I talk to Chief and then I talk to the Padillas. A drug test will prove my word over yours at the station, mi hermosa .”
Jerking my chin away I ground my teeth together, my eyes glaring.
Lorenzo saw himself out, as Tia darted into the kitchen, looking at me questioningly. My high was causing all of this information to form in crystalline perfect images in my head.
My husband was a dirty lawyer being bought by the highest bidder and when he’d failed to win a case, Lorenzo was bought to kill him. The garage just worked in Lo’s favor. I didn’t get any money when Davin died because my marriage was fake. Shoni got all of his money. I only got to keep the house and the cars. And Lorenzo was now trying to blackmail me into his bed or out of more money!
Grabbing the tequila bottle off the counter I took an angry swig before launching it across the kitchen. It was time for Tajah Cardin to come back from the dead.
Chapter 14
Deter-Money-Tion
“Is everything okay?” They were all in the kitchen in a manner of seconds after the glass shattered. All I could do was nod. It was Carlos who asked the question.
“I need a shower. I do my best thinking in the shower.”
My room felt farther away than normal, and the climb up the stairs seemed to take longer than usual. So much had happened within the last couple of hours from Carlos to my daddy’s necklace to Lorenzo’s craziness that it left my head spinning.
I lathered myself in a peach vanilla body wash; the water was cold and the bottle was empty by the time I was done. All of this just seemed too surreal for me to process at one time. My mind was someplace else as I put on my bathrobe and walked out into my bedroom. I jumped when I saw him reclining on my bed.
“What the hell are you doing in here, nigga?”
“I thought you might need some help lotioning up or something. I love me a big girl.” Jin had his shoes off and dirty white socks all up on my white down comforter.
“Carlos! I’m gonna shoot your boy if you don’t come get him.” I stormed back into the bathroom, and I could hear Carlos burst in as Jin ran out.
“I’m sorry. You know we’ve been drinking all evening and Tia been acting kind of off since some chick called her a little while ago.” He was towering in the doorway. He’d definitely gotten taller since high school.
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have killed him, just wounded him.” Not thinking, I placed one leg on the chest at the foot of my bed and began to lotion my ankles and feet.
“You know I really did miss you. Thought about you all the time.” He’d come up behind me and I continued as if I didn’t hear him, but I was soaking in every single word.
“I tried searching for you, did a ton of those Internet searches. You changed your damn name on me.” My hair had fallen out of its bun from the steam in the shower and it was hanging in damp twists over one shoulder. He touched my hair so softly I almost thought I imagined it.
Turning to tell him exactly what I thought of his bullshit half-ass Internet search, my words were cut off as he leaned down and pressed his full lips into mine. My lips parted and my knees almost gave out as his tongue met mine. Damn, the man tasted just like I remembered except this time there was the faintest hint of tequila.
Smiling into his lips, I couldn’t help thinking that this was what the fuck a kiss was supposed to feel like. Pulling back, I traced his lower lip with my tongue and it was like walking down a favorite path or revisiting a favorite place. All the firsts that we’d had together, well all the firsts that I’d had with him, made me feel so open and confident. My robe fell open and I pressed my body up against his.
Grabbing his hand I guided it down in between my legs, I wanted him to feel how wet I was. My grown ass must have forgotten who I was dealing with. He slid his hand back and forth, appreciating the sound of my ocean sloshing against his fingers. Before knew it, he parted the sea and buried two middle fingers so deep I almost cried. He kissed me hard to keep me quiet because the door was still open, but ask me if I gave a damn. I used what little sense I had left to unbutton his pants so I could give him his own torture.
He was hard and ready; my hand closed in as tight of a fist as I could make around him and I started stroking him upward. The harder I stroked him was just reason for him to show me how much harder and deeper he’d could go with his fingers. Stopping just for a second I used my free hand to undo his zipper and pull his pants and boxers to the floor. Davin, Tr . . . Ta . . . Who? I couldn’t even remember the other nigga’s name. But they ain’t neva do what the hell Carlos did.
This fool put one of my legs up on his forearm and in one fluid motion he was so deep inside me all I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and try to remember how to breathe. I hadn’t worked out or stretched and every muscle in my body was screaming but I was dealing with it
because he was stretching the hell out of the important one right that second. It got to the point I was up on my damn tippy toes, and I tapped him pointing towards the bed. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a creamer. He pulled out and there was Tajah sauce all over him.
“Now you know how women feel when y’all cum all over us,” I said while laughing.
“Ha ha, except I love this.” He smiled at me while pulling off his shirt, before closing the door. Then he wiped my juices off of himself and licked his fingers like icing off a Krispy Kreme doughnut. My mouth fell open and stayed there, until he fell on the bed in between my legs to get whatever he didn’t get off of himself.
If Tia and whoever he was, whose name I suddenly couldn’t remember, downstairs didn’t know what we were doing, they knew now. My fingers clawed at the sheets, because this mothafucka had learned some tricks over the damn years. His tongue was telling a story to my clit and he’d slid those thick-ass fingers back inside me, doing come here’s and go there’s and dosey do’s. I didn’t fuckin’ know. I damn near stopped breathing when his free hand slid upward to tease my nipples. That was all it took to have me scared I was gonna break his fingers. My muscles started convulsing, and I could feel the first twitch, the first hint of the damn finish line. That’s when this fool decided to hop up like a fucking surfer and ride the big wave in.
I screamed. I’ve never screamed during sex in my entire life. My nails clawed up his back and Carlos moaned, taking that as fuel to dig even deeper. He pinned my arms above my head to keep my nails out of him and I resorted to biting his neck and shoulders. There was only so much I could take as wave after wave washed over me. Just when I thought I was done, he released my arms and reached underneath me. I gaspedat what had to have been a pinky easing ever so slowly into the only other unoccupied hole down there, and it all started again. Flashes, sparks, explosions, and all kinds of foolishness were going off inside of my head until I was just lying there breathless and unable to move.
“I bet you feel real calm now, don’t you?” He had this smug smile on his face that I’d have loved to wipe off with a smart ass comment if I could.
