"Daniela, this is Ellie; Ellie, this is Daniela DeSilva, an old friend from Rio." Old, old, there was nothing old about this woman. She was in her late twenties, tall, slender, and oh so beautiful. She held on to Kayden as she said hello to me as if I were the visitor and she his girlfriend. He had not even introduced me as his girlfriend!
"Nice to meet you, Daniela. Can I get you something to drink?" I said, regaining my composure, trying to sound hospitable.
"So how do you two know each other?" I added, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Kayden and I dated for over a year, until it became too difficult to coordinate our schedules. With my modeling job in Brazil and his business here it became problematic," she responded in a happy-go- lucky way. Kayden on the other hand looked nervous.
"What do you do for Kayden, Ellie?" she asked in a quizzical manner.
"Yes Kayden, what do I do for you?" I asked as I turned to him, becoming increasingly more uncomfortable.
He took a minute, and then responded, "Ellie is my girlfriend."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn’t realize you were dating," Daniela said as she batted her lashes at Kayden.
"Yes, Ellie and I have been going out for the last couple of months," Kayden responded, and then he asked, "So, what brings you to Chicago?"
"A modeling job, only I was hoping to crash with you for a couple of days," she said innocently.
I watched in horror as Kayden offered our place to her; well, it was his place if I wanted to be technical about it. "You can stay here, we have plenty of space."
"I don’t want to be any trouble," she said in the same fake-innocent voice.
"It's no trouble, right Ellie?" Kayden responded. With those words our fate was sealed. The only thing that came to mind was, "What the heck just happened?" I was flabbergasted by the turn of events.
Kayden and Daniela spend the next few hours' reminiscing about their days in Rio, the good old times. After a while I was beginning to feel like I didn’t belong so I excused myself and went to bed. I had to go to work the next day; Wednesday was my first day in the office. I didn’t even get to talk to Kayden about the job, my schedule or anything else for that matter, so I figured I'd send him a text in the morning reminding him of where I was going.
Kayden came to bed at one in the morning. I was awake but pretended to be asleep. He didn’t even try to kiss me!
My first day at work was filled with meetings and introductions, and just trying to get acquainted with what the expectations of this assignment were. At one Mateo and I had lunch and began to sketch out a plan of action. He suggested I attend a dinner at the Instituto Cervantes that evening. I told him that given the short notice, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to go. I decided to send a text to Kayden to see his response.
Will be home late tonight, dinner at the Instituto Cervantes. R U OK with that? Let me know. Love, EMM
By seven I had not heard from Kayden, so I figured he had not seen the text. I did not want him to worry about me so I excused myself and headed home.
When I entered the penthouse the lights were dimmed and the sound of music and laughter permeated the apartment. As I walked in, the floor fell from under me. In front of me was Kayden, in the arms of Daniela, their lips pressed together in a kiss. I just stood there, frozen in place while they danced. Daniela first noticed me, then Kayden. I simply turned around and walked out the door. I heard Kayden run after me, my eyes not able to focus from the tears. I took the elevator and went downstairs to my apartment. I heard Kayden say, "fuck," his favorite word.
But it was too late, I had seen all I needed to see; I had heard all I needed to hear. Still Kayden followed me to my apartment.
"Ellie, baby, it's not what you think; please let me explain."
"Did you stick your tongue in her mouth? Did you kiss her?" I wanted to know if he fucked her, but the words did not come out of me.
"No baby, how can you think I kissed her? You are the only…"
"Don't," was all I could say. I walked to my bedroom and locked the door. I don’t know how long he was out there or if he left right away. All I knew was that my heart was broken, that I could not forgive his betrayal. I lay in bed and cried until I fell asleep from exhaustion.
I woke up very early Thursday morning, hoping to get an early start to my day. I wanted to leave early to make sure I did not run into Kayden; this was going to be my new normal, evading the father of my baby until I decided what to do about living arrangements. I was out of the building by six thirty that morning. I wore a grey two-piece pantsuit that reflected my somber mood. I wore walking shoes, planning to resume my original plan of walking to work.
It was still dark outside when I left, and for a split second I questioned the soundness of my actions. But then I felt the cool air on my face and memories of the first time I met Kayden came to mind. I had thought then that he was out of my reach, that there was no way that a man like that would notice me; I guess I was right. Tears came down my cheeks and I wiped them clean. It had been a wonderful two months with Kayden, now it was time to get back to reality. I now was responsible for two; Kayden could keep his model, I would keep our child.
I stopped along the way to buy a cup of herbal tea and a yogurt to go. I had traded my chai tea for ginger or mint; both agreed with my stomach. By the time I arrived at work it was almost seven thirty. I was glad that Mateo was not in his office; I needed a few minutes to settle and pull myself together.
Kayden walked through the doors of my office at eight a.m. He looked handsome as always, commanding with his presence.
"What do you want, Kayden?" I asked in a cold tone.
"I want you Ellie, please listen," he responded.
"You had me but forgot about me. I wasn't enough for you," I responded.
"Bullshit, you know that nothing happened. That you are the only one I want."
"Save it Kayden, in case you haven't noticed I am at work."
"Why didn't you tell me you were starting work this week?"
"Because you didn't let me, you were too busy for me."
"Please, Ellie, let me explain." Then he approached me and touched my arm; I closed my eyes to gather strength. Unfortunately I also saw her lips on his, his arms around her waist and the pain hit me like a stab in my ribs.
"Please go, Kayden, I am at work." At that moment Mateo came through the door.
"Are you okay?" he asked with concern in his voice.
"Yes, I'm fine; Kayden was just leaving." Kayden opened his mouth as if to say something, then saw the tears in my eyes and changed his mind.
"I'll see you tonight," is all he said.
The day went by in a blur, consumed by meetings, planning sessions, and setting up my technology needs. By three o'clock I was ready to go home; my official workday had ended and I was drained. I decided that it was best to go home at that time to reduce the chances of running into Kayden. I changed into walking shoes and headed outside when I saw his limousine waiting at the curb. My heart began to beat a little bit faster just thinking that Kayden could be in it, waiting for me. But it was Aldo following his boss' orders.
"I am here to drive you home, Ms. McCabe," he said, opening the door for me.
"No, thank you; I think I'll take a walk."
"You know Mr. Hale won't like it."
"I don’t give a hoot what Mr. Hale likes, but if it keeps you out of trouble I'll get in," I told him with genuine concern. Aldo was a good man and I would not want him to lose his job on my account.
I got home sooner than I anticipated so I decided to take a nap. As I drifted into sleep I felt a familiar body slide by my side. My core clenched when I smelled his skin and when his body touched my back my own body betrayed me, clamoring for his. When he was so close to me my mind shut down completely, making me forget why I was mad.
I heard his words, soft and seductive as in a dream, but I could not respond. I knew I would give in and then hate myself for it. "Please, let me be inside you, I nee
d you. Please Ellie, love me again, I'll do anything for you, anything you want I'll be for you," he whispered.
Tears came down my cheeks but I did not answer, I could not speak. He kissed my tears and tried to kiss my lips but I could not let him, it was too soon, the memory too raw.
"I am sorry, I swear that nothing happened. She wanted to come back to me, to rekindle what we once had. I said no. What you saw was a split second of her trying to give me a kiss. I felt nothing Ellie, I only desire you, I need you like the air that I breathe."
"Why did you hold her?"
"She wanted to dance, she took my hands and put them around her waist and when you walked in she pressed her lips against mine. End of the story, regardless of how it appeared nothing happened," he said in a resigned voice. "I felt nothing, couldn't feel anything; my heart and body belong to you. Why did you run away? Why not demand an explanation right then and there? Why not fight for what is yours? I want you to fight for us Ellie, please stop running. Don’t you know I love you too much to think about another woman? Don’t you know that I am consumed with desire for you, only you?"
His words brought more tears to my eyes; I wanted to hug him, to tell him it was okay, but I couldn't.
"If you don't love me, if you don't want me at least let me be by your side. I'll do anything you want me to do, just tell me," he continued. "I just need you to love me again."
I could not stay quiet after those words; my heart ached for him. "Do you think I can turn off my feelings for you just like that? Of course I love you Kayden, I will always love you; but you hurt me and I can't get that image of her in your arms out of my mind."
"It meant nothing," he was adamant.
"It meant everything to me. Your touch means everything to me," I responded with equal force.
"Then let me help you forget, let me touch you, let me inside you again."
With those words Kayden turned me around and grabbed my face, then said, "Please, I promise to make it up to you the rest of my life." And I let him in my mouth. He kissed me with so much hunger that my lips were bruised, his tongue inside me moving with desperation, searching for mine, trying to get it to respond. And respond I did, I returned every stroke with the same hunger and desire he had, my body helpless at his every demand, so in sync with his that it responded of its own volition.
Kayden made love to me with a desperation I had not felt before. Perhaps he was afraid I would change my mind. He sucked, licked, and touched every inch of my body until I responded, until I was the one frantic and needy and greedy for his touch. "That's it baby, allow yourself to feel how right we are for each other." And at that moment I knew we were. No man had ever made me feel like Kayden had; I doubted if anyone else could. So I gave myself to the heat of the moment and in his arms once again I felt what I always felt, utter and complete pleasure.
Chapter Twenty-Six
My afternoon nap had turned into an all-evening affair. At twelve Kayden went into the kitchen to find a snack for both of us and something to drink. He came back with a couple of sandwiches, lemonade for me and a beer for himself. We sat on the bed and ate in silence.
"Are we good now?" he finally asked.
It took me a minute to respond, but finally I said, "We'll get there. We still have a lot to figure out."
"Like what?" he said quietly.
"Like who was this woman and why when you saw her all your attention was on her to the point that you even forgot I was your girlfriend. Why did you tell me you only had casual relationships before me and here she comes and it turned out it had been a yearlong relationship? That sounds pretty serious to me, yet you didn’t tell me about her."
I didn't want to go on and on, but I had as many questions as he did, questions we both needed to figure out before we could see our relationship back on track.
"Okay, let's start with who is this woman. Daniela is a good friend of my sister Camila. A few years after Megan died I was in Brazil for an extended period of time. Camila tried to fix us up; we dated but it was not as serious as you or she are making it out to be. When I was in Brazil we spent time together, when she came to the U.S. the same thing happened. We had fun together, that's all," he said casually. I hated to think of him with other women, but he had said there were many; I hoped not to meet another one.
"I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it was important," he continued. "As for having only eyes for her, I was just being polite, she is a friend of my sister's after all! I only have eyes for you, for God's sake; I still had your smell on me, your taste in my mouth. Do you think I can turn off and on that easily? That after eating your cunt, sucking your breast I can in the next few minutes forget how desperate I am for you and begin to lust after another woman? What kind of man do you think I am?" He sounded offended now. "If this happens again, stay and fight, ask right then and there. If I found you with another man in the same situation, running is the last thing I would do; I feel sorry for the fool."
I had to smile at the statement; I knew Kayden would beat him to a pulp!
"If the penthouse is our home, why didn’t we talk about it before inviting her to stay?" I asked him with curiosity. "We have been talking about moving in together, to make a home that is both ours, and yet here you were telling a stranger to crash in without consideration to how I felt about it."
"I am sorry baby, that will never happen again; I wasn’t thinking that it could bother you when I agreed."
He took me in his arms and said, " I don't want to lose you again, I can't. I haven’t slept for two days, I don’t eat, and I am an ogre at work. I need you Ellie, I feel steady when you are around, grounded. Tell me what you need and I'll do it."
"I just need you to love me, only me; and if you ever put your lips on another woman or touch her, that will be the end of us," I said in a stronger voice than I had intended. "I am serious, Kayden, you have no idea how much you hurt me."
"I do have an idea because I know what it would do to me if I saw you with another man, it would kill me." He sounded sincere, haunted perhaps.
"I never knew how possessive I could be until I met you. You hurt me again and I'll disappear from your life."
"Sweetheart, if you think you can disappear from me you have something coming, I will find you no matter where you go. I told you this is for life, you are mine for life."
"Are you mine, only mine for life?"
"Always," and then he took my face with one hand and pressed his lips against mine until my mouth opened to let him in. His tongue roamed my mouth, making love to me with it. With his hands he caressed my breast, my back, the inner part of my thigh. "Is this what you saw me do?"
"No," I said, barely in a whisper.
"I thought so, because if you see me kissing or touching another woman like that you better kick my ass out. Are we good now?" he said as he lay on top of me.
Sunday morning Kayden and I made breakfast at home; we had spent the last couple of nights together and despite the lack of sleep I felt very refreshed. It must have been all the make-up sex, because I had tons of energy! We made pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. Kayden was so attentive, still trying to make up for the two nights we had spent apart.
I decided that this was as good a time as any to tell him about my upcoming work-related travels.
"You know, Wednesday I have to fly to Madrid for meetings." I could see him tensing lightly.
"Madrid as in Spain."
"Yes." I had thought about making a joke about it but decided instead to go straight to the point. "With the new exhibit Mateo and I have several trips that will take me away from the house during the next few weeks. Mateo left yesterday, but I have the ultrasound Monday afternoon so I was not able to depart until Wednesday evening, just incase the doctor orders additional tests," I said in a buoyant way.
"When were you going to tell me about all of this?" he asked, visibly annoyed.
"Kayden, the reality is that because we broke up, I didn't have to tell you any of
this."
"We never broke up; do you understand, never. You were not talking to me, that does not mean we were not together."
"Let's not get into a fight now. I'm going to Madrid, unless there is a problem with the baby."
"Does the doctor think there is a problem?" He sounded anxious.
"No, but you never know at this stage."
"At what time is your appointment?" He took out his smart phone and opened the calendar window.
"At two," I responded.
He checked his schedule and entered the time, then sent an email to his secretary. "I'll go with you; send me a list of your appointments so I can add them to my schedule."
"Thank you for wanting to be with me throughout this process."
"Where else would I be? How long is the trip to Madrid?" he asked.
"I'll come back on Saturday, I have meetings Thursday afternoon and all day Friday; I didn't want to stay any longer."
"I guess my punishment is that I have to spend another few nights without you. I don’t like it; you can go this time but no more overseas trips without me."
"Kayden, you can't interfere with my doing my job. I don’t like to be away from you either, but this is part of it," I told him, hoping that he understood my point.
"No more overseas travel without me and that's the end of it." My Kayden was back to normal and in full force.
"What kind of ticket do you have?" he asked.
"I think it's an economy seat, that's all the museum can afford."
"We'll change it later; if you are going to travel you need to be comfortable." I just shook my head knowing that he was right.
The rest of the morning was spent negotiating our living arrangement. No more separate apartments, we decided. The penthouse was more spacious, so I ended up agreeing with him that it was the logical choice as long as we made some changes to reflect both our tastes and interests. Of the three guest rooms that Kayden had, one would be converted into an office for me; I desperately needed my own space, a place to retreat to when things became overwhelming. The larger of the other two bedrooms would be converted into a nursery, and the last one would be for mutually agreed visitors, such as his parents, his siblings, or my kids. Anyone else we would talk about it first. I was going to put my condo for rent and store the furniture I did not bring in with me. With the apartment rented, I would have nowhere to run to.
REBORN (Metamorphosis Book 1) Page 18
