“I hate that you had to go through that.”
“You and me both.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “I never meant to insult you with Lena. A large part of me saw a handsome, popular guy and an overweight girl, and all I could think about was her getting hurt like I had.”
“I understand.”
“Thankfully, I’ve come a long way from high school. I know that not everyone likes the same body type, but I obviously have some issues deeply ingrained in me. I have to work hard to get over my first instinctive thoughts.”
“Me, too. Because my first instinctive thought is to find this Parker and punch him in the nuts.”
I laughed and pulled Mace down to kiss me. When he lifted his head, the words I love you almost came out of my mouth. I supposed I shouldn’t be so surprised that I would feel that way about him. I was risking my career and professional reputation to be with him. But it still blindsided me.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.” I stroked his chest. “The thing about you asking Amy to the dance?”
“Yeah?”
“She reminds me of myself a little. And, if we could do something that would totally make her night, I would like to do that for her.”
“What if she falls in love with me?” Mace joked.
I laughed. “She has a crush on Logan.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Yeah, I know. And that’s okay. I’m not asking you to set them up. I just want you to take her, so she has a date. And maybe, if she’s with you, your friends will include her in their group for the night.” I poked him in the chest. “Just make sure she knows it’s as friends. Because you are pretty irresistible.”
Mace laughed and kissed me. “I will ask her. My friends have been asking me about going anyway.”
“See? I’m not the only one.”
“You’re not,” he admitted. He kissed me again.
“Make love to me, Mace,” I said when he lifted his lips.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
The night of the prom, I watched Mace get ready in my room. He looked so handsome in his tux.
“I wish I could be your date for tonight.”
Mace turned away from the mirror where he was tying his tie. “Me, too, babe. What are you going to do tonight?”
“Nothing. Maybe do some cleaning.”
“Wow. You really know how to have fun on a Saturday night.”
“I know. Don’t be jealous.”
Mace laughed and turned around. “How do I look?”
“Very handsome. Amy won’t know what hit her.” I chewed on my lip. “I really hope she has fun tonight.”
Mace kissed me on the head. “She will. I’ll make sure of it. Don’t worry so much.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“Babe, you already helped her get a dress and shoes. The rest is up to her and me. It’ll be fine.”
“You’re right.”
“I’d better get going.”
“You’d better.” I kissed him. “Have fun. And be good.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re the only one, babe.”
I laughed. “I’m not worried about you doing anything with Amy or anyone else. I just don’t want you guys to do anything illegal.” I pointed my finger at him. “No drinking and driving. Please call someone sober.”
He kissed me. “I promise.”
“I just need a picture before you go.”
His eyebrow went up. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Fine.”
Mace let me take his picture, and then he was out the door.
I did clean like I’d told Mace I was going to do, which kept my mind busy. When I didn’t have anything else to clean, I tried to watch some television, but my mind kept going to Mace and Amy. I was so worried she wasn’t having a good time.
Before I knew it, I was in my car and driving to the school. Prom was held in the gym, just like all the other dances. No hotels or anything like in the movies.
I stood outside the gym doors and searched for Mace and Amy. I looked on the dance floor first but didn’t see them. I finally spotted them by one of the tables set up on the perimeter of the floor.
They were with a group of people, and they were both laughing. One of Mace’s friends threw his arm around Mace and looked like he was trying to pull him down. Mace got out of the hold and went after his friend.
As I watched Mace, I pictured what his life in college would be like in just a few short months. He was going to meet new people and make new friends.
I put my hand on my belly. If I told Mace about my pregnancy, I feared that he would decide not to go. Or what if he asked me to move with him? He might only be eighteen, but he was a responsible guy.
I tried to picture what it would be like for him to go to school and to come home to a girlfriend and a baby. While all his friends were out, partying, Mace would be home with us.
And, someday, he might resent me.
Or worse, someday, he might resent his own child.
There was no way I could let that happen. I hadn’t been pregnant that long, but the little human inside was already very special to me.
I knew it took two to tango and all that, but I was the one who’d thrown up my birth control pill and not realized we might need backup protection. I was done with college and had a good job that made money. I could not let Mace throw away his future.
And, when everyone found out my due date, it wouldn’t take long to realize I had gotten pregnant before school got out. Not only would I be out of a job—a job I needed to take care of my baby—but it could also hurt Mace even if I was the teacher. I could only imagine what the town would think of their football star.
It was then that I knew what I had to do. I wasn’t going to keep Mace from his kid or hide the baby, but I could do something so that he wouldn’t be burdened every day.
I tasted salt and realized I was crying. I was going to miss Mace so much, but I loved him. I wanted his future to be wide open and free.
There were a few weeks until graduation, and I was going to soak up every moment with him that I could.
Maybe it was good that I was pregnant. Things probably never would have worked out between us anyway. We’d have eventually broken up. The baby just had it happening sooner rather than later.
I watched Mace a few more minutes and then left as silently as I’d arrived.
Monday morning, I called my contacts at my old school back home. I was hired on the spot and would start in the fall. I was going to go back to South Dakota.
“I was thinking, now that I’m a high school grad and no longer a student, maybe it’s time we stop hiding our relationship.”
Mace and I were sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying a nice, relaxing breakfast. That was, until he sprang these words on me.
I hadn’t told him I was leaving yet. At first, I hadn’t wanted anything to get in the way of finals and graduating. Now, I didn’t want to do it because I knew there was no way that conversation would end well.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You graduated less than two weeks ago. It would look awfully suspicious if we started dating this close to school getting out.” I was trying to stall, but there was a huge chunk of truth to my point, too. It would be pretty obvious something had started before school ended even if no one could prove it. I had put in my notice already, but I still wanted to use them as a reference. I certainly didn’t want to burn any bridges.
Mace nodded as he took a bite of his fruit. “Okay. But you have a birthday coming up next week. You’re going out and celebrating, right? What if we met up at the bar again, and one thing led to another?”
I shoved a bite of food in my mouth, so I wouldn’t have to answer. I wished he’d just let it go. I didn’t even know if I was going to do anything for my birthday. I was now almost seventeen weeks along in my pregnancy. I couldn’t drink, and it might look suspicious if I didn
’t.
“I don’t think anyone would question if you got a little tipsy and flirted with your former student,” he continued on. “I mean, I am pretty irresistible.” He grinned. “I think it would be perfect. I’ve gone drinking with you before, so no one would suspect anything. Have you made any birthday plans yet?”
“I’m moving back to South Dakota,” I blurted out.
Mace’s smile vanished from his face. “Excuse me?”
Damn it. This wasn’t how I’d wanted to tell him. But he’d just kept going on and on.
I cleared my throat. “I’m moving back to South Dakota.”
Mace gently set his fork down. “When?”
“Soon.” I had to go before I started to show. I was already cutting it close, as my abdomen had started to get a little bigger. It was a good thing I had some extra padding on me, so it wasn’t as noticeable.
“How long have you known?”
“A while.”
“And you weren’t going to tell me?”
“I was.” Eventually. “I am now.”
“But you weren’t planning on telling me right now.”
He had me there.
“Is this why you’ve been super affectionate lately?”
I’ve been super affectionate lately? I hadn’t even noticed.
“Why are you moving back?” His voice was low and calm, but I could tell he was upset.
Because I’m pregnant, and I can’t ruin your life.
I also knew doing the single-mom thing would be a lot easier with the support of family around.
“Because you’re going to college soon. We both knew that we couldn’t do this forever.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We did, huh?”
“Yes. We’ve never talked about a future.”
He stood. “Well, that’s very nice of you to decide all that for us. It’s not like I can think for myself or anything.” He spun around and headed for my bedroom.
I scrambled out of my seat and went after him. “It’s not that I don’t think you can make your own decisions,” I said as I walked into the room.
Mace grabbed his sports bag off the floor and slammed it on the bed. “But you know what’s better for me?”
“Mace, you’re young.”
“And you’re so old. You’re only going to be twenty-six, Eden. You’re hardly a senior citizen.”
“I know. But I have been to college. You should go there and have fun. Be free. You don’t need me dragging you down.” You don’t need a baby dragging you down.
He shook his head and went over to my dresser. “You need to stop putting yourself down.” He started pulling out the clothes from the drawer I let him use and put them in his bag.
“It’s not like that. We’ve never even said that we love each other. This was never going to be long-term.”
Mace zipped up his bag and pulled the strap on over his shoulder. “I guess you’ll never know for sure now.” He walked past me to the door. He put his hand on the jamb and looked over his shoulder. “I never took you for such a coward.”
And, with that, Mace was gone.
I collapsed on my bed and cried.
I tried calling and texting Mace over the next week, but he wouldn’t answer. I knew it was better this way, but it still hurt. I felt like a hole had been opened up inside me.
At least I had my move to occupy my mind. I called the moving company and changed my date. I put a down payment on a rental and packed up my stuff.
I spent my birthday driving across the country, alone, and wishing Mace were with me.
THREE MONTHS LATER
I closed my computer and put it in my bag. I had to be at my parents’ soon for dinner.
It was the middle of September. I was back teaching at Brookings High School where I’d graduated and used to substitute, but now, I was a full-time teacher. The staff had welcomed me back with open arms, and some of the students had even told me they were glad I was back.
At thirty weeks along now, my pregnancy was no longer a secret. Everyone was happy for me even if there was speculation about who the father was.
My parents most of all. I knew my mother was disappointed that I was taking on this pregnancy on my own, but there was no way I could explain to her why I was doing it by myself. Despite that, she had thrown herself into the grandma role with her whole heart. Every week, it seemed like she’d bought another outfit for the baby.
Two months earlier, I’d had my fetal anatomy survey. The results came back that my baby was perfectly healthy. My doctor was a little concerned since I hadn’t gone to a doctor until I moved back to South Dakota. That day, I also found out I was having a girl. And it was Mace’s birthday.
I desperately wanted to call him and tell him happy birthday and to tell him about Madison. That was the name I’d decided on. It was my way of naming the baby after her daddy. I had also picked the middle name Jane after my grandmother, and she’d been Madison Jane in my head ever since.
As my belly got bigger, I grew more excited to see her yet more depressed about Mace. I hadn’t told him yet. I’d told myself I was waiting until college started, and I knew he was settled in. That had been two weeks ago, and I was due at the end of November. I couldn’t put it off much longer. I didn’t want to deny him the birth of his child, but I was dreading the moment I had to call and tell him.
My leaving Texas hadn’t gone over well. He’d been upset even though I tried to tell him he was going off to school anyway. If I remembered correctly, he’d told me I was a coward.
He wasn’t wrong, and we had parted on bad terms. It had been foolish of me to think he would send me off with a smile on his face.
I had a few minutes before I had to leave, so I pulled up my phone and went to Mace’s Instagram account. I hadn’t followed him because I didn’t want him to block me, so I always had to search for him to view his latest pictures.
There were pictures of him with his high school friends, but the very latest one was with him and a girl. He had his arm around her, and she was hugging him while he held the camera up with his other hand.
She was young and beautiful. They looked adorable together. There were several pictures of them together.
It made my heart hurt. At the same time, Madison kicked me.
I rubbed my abdomen as I wiped a tear from my eye. “I know, baby. This is what I wanted for him. I just didn’t know it would hurt so much.”
She kicked me again, and I told myself she was trying to make me feel better.
“I love you, too, Madison Jane.”
I looked at the picture of Mace and the girl, torturing myself one last time before getting out of the app.
I texted Becca.
Me: It looks like Mace has a new girlfriend.
Becca: Really?
Me: I was just on his Instagram.
Becca: Hold on. I’ll go look.
Becca: Oh, yeah, they definitely look close. Are you okay?
Me: No, but I’m happy for him.
Becca: When are you going to tell him?
Me: Soon. Maybe this weekend. I know I can’t keep putting it off.
Becca: It’s about time.
Becca had been amazingly supportive, but she encouraged me to tell him about once a week. Things were basically back to normal between us. My pregnancy had really brought us back together. With school getting out and me leaving town, she no longer had to worry about her or Connor losing their jobs. She’d even asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding the following summer.
Me: I have to go. Having dinner at the parents’ tonight.
Becca: Have fun. Are you going to tell them about Mace before or after you tell him?
Me: After.
Becca: Chicken.
Me: Bawk, bawk.
Becca: LOL.
I grabbed my stuff and headed to my parents’ house. When I got there, I walked right in the front door. I didn’t live with them, but it would always be my home.
“Mom?”
> “In the kitchen.”
I followed the sound of her voice. “Mmm … it smells delicious in here.”
“Beef stew.”
“I can’t wait.”
“How was work today?”
“Good. How about you?”
“Good. I’ve been thinking about retiring.”
My eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because I was thinking I could take care of the baby.”
“Mom … that is wonderful, but you don’t have to. You already raised your kid.”
“But only one. I always wanted more. And I want to be there for my grandchild. Are you against the idea?”
“No. I would love it. I just don’t want you to give anything up.”
“Maybe I want to give it up. You need to let people make some of these decisions on their own.”
I knew she was hinting at Mace.
“Message received, Mom.” I took off my jacket. “I’m going to hang my coat up.”
As I was putting my coat on a hanger, my father came home.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, sweetheart. How was work?”
“Good. You?”
He nodded his head.
I closed the closet and headed back to the kitchen.
“Eden, wait, please.”
Oh, that tone of voice didn’t sound good. I spun around.
“Sit, please.”
“Okay.” I went over to the couch. “What’s going on?”
My father sat in the recliner across from me. “I wanted to tell you about one of my students.”
I furrowed my brow. “Okay.” This conversation was starting out odd.
“There is a freshman in my class who is a big-time football player from Texas. He had been planning to go to school there but decided to come to SDSU at the last minute. He stayed behind to talk to me today.”
There was no way he was talking about who I thought he was talking about.
“The weird thing is, I recognized him but not his name though.”
I felt the blood drain from my face.
“Do you want to explain to me why you introduced Mason to your mother and me as Jason and why he asked me about you today?” He looked down at my belly.
Wicked Chemistry Page 18
