by Zara Zenia
“Tasha, please, just tell me what’s going on,” I begged.
Tadisha went to speak, but Tasha put her hand on her arm, breathing deeply and fighting to keep her composure. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. The Lord-Case Company is no longer funding this expedition. It’s against Vaxivian law to provide aid to hostile species,” she said, her voice shaking.
As she uttered the words, “hostile species,” my blood froze in my veins, my lungs screamed for oxygen, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. How? How had she discovered the truth?
As if she saw the question in my eyes, she spoke, her voice raw with pain and remorse, “I saw you, Ragal. I watched you transform into a… creature. I… I don’t know what or who you are, but I do know you’re not using me or my company any longer. Whatever you’re planning, you’re not doing it with my help.”
I flinched at her words, feeling them sting as the reality sank in.
Jennifer came around the corner just then, and Tasha looked at her with a mixture of pity and apprehension.
“Jennifer, you need to get away from them. They’re… creatures and they’re using you, too. You and Andie. Both of you are in danger,” she said quickly.
Jennifer looked confused. “No, you don’t understand. We’re not in any danger, they’re good men. Zaruv and I love each other…”
“He’s fooled you, Jennifer, just as Ragal fooled me.”
I pleaded, “Tasha, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Just let me explain… I know what this looks like, but there is so much more at stake than you realize.”
“Save it, monster,” Tadisha all but spat, a look of pure disgust and hatred written on her face.
“Ladies, let’s go, we don’t have time to waste,” Albert said authoritatively, and Tadisha hurriedly ushered Tasha past me.
As she crossed in front of me, Tasha stopped.
“When I get to Steel City, we’re alerting the authorities. They’ll come for you, all of you...” she said, grief and warning in her words. “You should go before they find you.”
“Tasha,” Albert scolded. “Let the freaks face their fates.”
She walked away and I felt frozen, watching each step carry her out of my life.
They climbed quickly into the LCC vehicle and sped away. The blood rushed through me and I broke free of my shock, chasing after her with all the speed I possessed, hurtling over the brush, sprinting to catch the truck.
I raced after the vehicle, screaming out for her. I saw her reflection in the mirror for a split instant, her expression crumpling with pain, and the sight of her hurt, her betrayal, was like a blow to my system.
I collapsed, struggling for air, feeling like a dying man clawing for life. Falling to my knees, I roared with all the despair I felt. I wanted to shift, to chase after and take her back, but I knew the sight of my dragon form would only drive her further away from me.
The way she had looked at me, the fright so evident in her eyes, felt like a knife. If only it had been… In that moment, the idea of living without her was total and utter devastation.
How could I go on knowing I would never see her smile, never hear her voice, so sultry and seductive when I touched her, or giddy and joyful as she solved a problem, never see the fire in her eyes as she spoke about bringing progress to her people? The thought was unbearable and I felt the emotion roll through me. The memory of her final look was the purest form of torture, and I drowned in the anguish.
I fell onto my back and looked up at the sky, a brilliant tapestry in shades of orange and pink. It should have been the backdrop of a fresh start for us. I was going to tell her and somehow that had been stolen from me.
I couldn’t begin to guess how hurt, how devastated she must be feeling, and knowing I was the cause of that was total agony. And now, she was gone, alone with the two people I trusted least on this planet. People I knew cared nothing for her.
My breathing slowed as I came to grips with what had happened. Finally, I stood and headed slowly back to camp, feeling the crushing weight of her rejection with every step.
Everyone was gathered around the thermogenerator, talking rapidly and turning to me with concern and pity on their faces.
Jennifer rushed up to me and hugged me. The gesture was kind but brought me no comfort.
“Oh, Ragal, I’m so sorry,” she said, tears in her voice.
“As am I,” I said, my voice coming out flat and empty.
She released me and I sat on a chair, hands to my head, knowing they all watched me but caring not at all.
“Much as I hate to add to this,” Andie began, “Tasha leaving isn’t our only problem. Someone sabotaged our rovers. They’re useless without the right parts, and it would take way too long to fix them.”
“I don’t understand. Tasha told Ragal that we should leave before she sent the authorities out here. Why would she purposely damage our vehicles?” Jennifer asked.
“They did this,” I ground out, anger cracking my voice. “Albert and Tadisha. They revealed us to Tasha and they stranded us here.”
Pavar looked furious. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go catch the bastards and make them pay.”
“What about the ship? I’ve located several of the core pieces. We cannot leave them there; the longer they sit in the swamp, the more we lose…” Karun began. He had retrieved several pieces in the night.
Zaruv spoke, “We’ll go out in force and pull out everything we can from the swamp and secure it here in the camp.”
Karun nodded. “Andie and I can secure the perimeter of the camp with explosives and traps, try to reinforce it against scavengers.”
Andie smiled. “I’ve got just the thing.”
“Good. When we finish collecting what we can, we’ll head to Steel City by air.” He looked to Jennifer apologetically. “We’ll carry Andie and you with us, but it might not be the most pleasant ride.”
She leaned up and kissed him. “I’d go anywhere with you.”
Even in my despair, I was surprised. Jennifer and Zaruv were clearly in love, but theirs was a private affection. Jennifer had a rocky romantic past, and as their relationship had bloomed, it had not been easy for her to let Zaruv in, particularly with the uncertainty of their future in such circumstances.
I felt a happiness for my brother, but it was bittersweet and metallic in my mouth as I realized I might never have that with Tasha. It also occurred to me that, without her help, my people might truly be doomed.
The pain of losing the woman I loved was intense and devastating, but compounded with the realization I might have sentenced all my countrymen to death or enslavement, it was overwhelming.
I was raw with emotion; I had to get her back. There was no other option. I—we—needed her.
Focusing on the tasks ahead, anger settled in. Albert and Tadisha would pay.
Chapter 14
Tasha
Riding back over the land I had just covered with Ragal, I felt ill. I couldn’t help but loathe myself, my weakness. Even now, even knowing what he had done, how he had betrayed my trust, how he had set out from the first moment to use me, I still anguished over the loss.
And yet, how could you lose what you’d never really had? He hadn’t cared for me. None of what I had felt had been real. It had all been a grand concoction, an illusion, so that he could get what he wanted. How could I have been so foolish to think something so perfect could be real?
I was a smart, responsible, capable person. I shouldn’t have fallen for the simplicity of his deception. How did I never question the circumstances of it all? I had just taken it at face value—everything packaged so conveniently.
I felt like an idiot. Had he laughed with his brothers? Had they joked about what an easy target I was?
I thought back to how we had been physically. I knew that the pleasure we had shared had been real, but knowing the intimacy I had felt had all been contrived made me nauseous.
Albert had gloated, he had preened and crowed
over the victory. He was an awful sort of person, but at least I knew him for what he was.
Tadisha’s words came back to me. Ragal really was the devil I didn’t know. I had never seen anything so fierce or mighty as the great black dragon that had lifted into the sky and disappeared into the night. He was majestic and terrifying. The memory gave me chills.
I had made love to—no, I had fallen in love with—an alien. The knowledge absorbed into my psyche as I thought back to all the horrors alien invaders had wrought upon Vaxivia. How many Vaxivian lives had been taken by such creatures?
I didn’t know if what Tadisha had said was true. Were they truly preparing for an invasion? If so, why did he let me go? It didn’t add up, but my brain and spirit were too overtaken by grief to process it all.
Tadisha was driving and looked across Albert at me, “Don’t worry, Tasha, the Dragselian threat will be gone soon.” She sounded confident and firm.
“Dragselian?” I asked. My voice sounded thin and lifeless to my ears.
“That’s what they’re called. They’re dragon-men who travel the universe, looking for unsuspecting planets to overthrow and colonize. To breed more of their own kind. They’re vermin that need to be crushed.”
She looked so full of contempt and hostility. The thought terrified me. I knew how Vaxivians viewed aliens, just like Tadisha did. It was not kind. What would happen when it became known that I had been so involved with one?
How could I explain how kind he had been, how warm and loving he had seemed? It had been a masterful performance. I don’t know how he could have faked or created the chemistry—maybe he hadn’t. What did it make me for even thinking that?
He had chased us, shouting for me. I watched him in the mirror, readying myself to see him transform again into the obsidian dragon. Bracing myself for the possibility that he would chase us and try to stop us from revealing their presence.
He didn’t. In fact, he looked truly pained. Had it been for my benefit? If so, why? Were aliens like him even capable of feeling love? Part of me wanted to think so, part of me needed to believe that what I had felt had been real. But would that be any better?
I sighed, overcome with the events of the past night. I closed my eyes, trying to escape reality, hoping I would awaken and find this had all been the fantastical creation of an overworked mind.
Unfortunately, I awoke a short time later to find Albert’s arm around my shoulders. I quickly moved away and pretended to need to stretch and adjust myself.
“How fast do you think we can make the return drive?” Albert asked.
“With no stops, we can do it in four days,” Tadisha answered concisely.
“We will need to stop. I’m not an animal. I need to rest,” he retorted.
To my surprise, Tadisha shot back at him, “Do you think this is a game? Do you have any idea what those things are capable of?”
I had never heard her talk back to him like that—it was a welcome sight.
“I hardly think they’re a threat anymore,” he said, rolling his eyes. “After all, you did rip up their rover vehicles. How far can they get without them?”
I was alarmed. “You did what?”
“Tadisha tore out a bunch of the drive components on their vehicles. They’re not going anywhere,” he boasted.
“But what about Jennifer? And Andie?” I asked, concerned.
The wastelands of Vaxivia were a harsh and awful place if you didn’t have the proper gear and supplies. I wanted to think more of Ragal and his brothers, to believe they wouldn’t abandon Jennifer or Andie to the wilderness, but still I worried.
“That’s the cost of allying with the enemy,” Tadisha spat.
“But they’re humans—they’re Vaxivians!” I protested.
Albert looked at me patronizingly. “Oh, they’ll be fine. I’m sure the militia will rescue them or something.”
The ease with which they both dismissed two completely innocent people shocked me. But again, I reminded myself, I might feel differently if I were on the outside of this. Jennifer seemed aware of their true identities, so it stood to reason that Andie might be, as well. I didn’t like the idea of leaving them alone, at the mercy of alien invaders, but there was nothing I could do for them now.
After their easy disregard of Andie and Jennifer, we rode mostly in silence until we finally stopped for a few hours to make a haphazard camp.
I was frightened to do so, worried that they might catch up to us. I had seen Karun and Ragal take wing, but I didn’t know how far or for how long they could fly.
They were aliens, after all. Who knew how their biology worked? Given how human-like they were in their appearance and activities, they probably required at least some rest.
We only had one dome tent that we had managed to quickly pack away and bring with us. As I climbed onto a cot, I felt Albert come up behind me.
Tadisha was outside, securing the truck and going over what limited supplies we had.
I felt his hand, cold upon my shoulder. It was uncomfortable and unwelcome.
I turned to admonish him, but he spoke first. “Tasha, I wanted to tell you, I’m willing to forgive you, to overlook your lapse in judgment,” he began in his nasal voice. “Not all of us are capable of seeing through situations like that. I’m sorry he made you look like a fool. I’m sure you must be really humiliated, but you don’t have to worry. I’m ready to put this behind us and look toward our future together.”
His voice dipped low as he leaned in and placed his lips on my stunned mouth. It was cold and mechanical, robotic almost. I froze for a moment, not sure what to do. His kiss was nothing like the heat I’d felt in Ragal’s arms. I didn’t have to think with him, my body just responded.
Albert lowered one hand to my ribcage and the sensation revolted me. I jumped back, pushing him off me.
“Albert! What do you think you’re doing?” I gasped.
He frowned at me. “I’m telling you I can overlook your massive mistake here. I’m telling you that you haven’t completely ruined your chances with me.”
Of course, he would seek to benefit from the circumstances and try to make me feel like a failure in the process.
“Okay, well, Albert, I’m telling you I don’t want a chance with you. Our relationship is to be strictly professional. I don’t care what has happened, I am not going to be interested now or ever in pursuing anything romantic with you.”
“So, you only like it when it’s an alien fucking you?” His voice was full of disgust.
“You will not talk to me in that manner. Go compose yourself and I’ll forget this ever happened,” I sternly ordered him.
I might have been duped by invading aliens, but I wasn’t any more of a pushover today than I was before.
“Fine, have it your way. Just know that no one else is going to want you, not after your little alien affair,” he said, striding out.
He was probably right, but I didn’t really care. Momentarily, I wondered how Ragal would have felt if he had walked into the tent and found me in Albert’s arms. A pang of guilt flashed through me, inexplicably.
I knew I owed Ragal nothing, and, yet, the part of me that wondered if what had happened between us had been even somewhat real—that part of me was bereft.
I was frightened to acknowledge it, but some part of me missed him.
Fortunately—finally—Albert seemed to respect my rejection of his overtures and stopped hassling me at every turn. I hoped it was because he was finally beginning to accept my authority. Far more likely, it was that he was preoccupied, as I was, with the fear that Ragal might catch up to us.
Fleeing back to Steel City, it felt like I was racing—but not racing Ragal and his brothers. It began to feel like I was racing against myself and the suspicion that had begun to grow within me. What would he have said, if I had let him explain himself? Had I been wrong to rush out as I had? Worst of all, had I just made the biggest mistake of my life?
Still, I had seen him transf
orm. I saw the proof of his deception in the flesh. And yet, the doubts still plagued me—a fact that I worked to conceal from Albert and Tadisha.
The next few days flew by in a sweaty, sleepless flash. Between the awful sinking regret in my stomach and the pain of feeling like nothing more than a pawn in someone else’s plans, I was restless.
When we finally reached the outer limits of the city, I was anxious to get home, to wallow in the familiar comforts of my loft and be alone with all the emotions and feelings roiling within me.
We arrived at the LCC building and entered the storage and delivery dock. I immediately jumped out and EE’d Li to send a self-driving vehicle to deliver me home. I needed a refresh and solitude.
As the vehicle pulled around the corner, Tadisha came up behind me.
“Are you going to see the authorities?” she asked expectantly.
I sighed. “I don’t know. Is there even any point? If they were really hostile, why didn’t they pursue us? I just want to be done with everything and get some rest.”
She persisted, “You won’t be done with it if they do end up returning to Steel City. If it becomes known that you hid their presence here, it will be a scandal and a disaster.”
I winced, closing my eyes against the stabbing headache that had followed me out of the swamp. She was right; personal feelings and doubt aside, the people of Steel City shouldn’t be put at risk.
We climbed into the vehicle and headed toward the industrial sector of the city. Steel City didn’t have an official elected leader and was technically outside of militia jurisdiction, but we governed ourselves, to a certain extent.
Charles Janeway and his men, a fraternity of benevolent vigilantes, had all but saved the city and continued to insure our protection from the criminal organizations that had once controlled the area.
In so doing, he became the unofficial “mayor” of the city and, as such, the only “authority” worth reporting to for such matters. We had a relationship of reciprocity as well, having donated most of the vehicles and munitions that his operation used in their protection of the city.
