by Meg Collett
“I know,” she breathed. “I know. I’m watching out. But so far everything’s actually been okay. He’s had me do some stuff, but nothing awful. Maybe he’s on his best behavior since the board is looking at him.”
“This is Shepherd Caldwell we’re talking about. He’s never on his best behavior, especially when you’re around.”
Stevie grimaced.
When she didn’t answer, Mark added, “You know I’m right. But Stevie?”
She was chewing on her nails again, her thoughts tangled and tumbling in her head. “Yeah?”
“Shepherd might have gone down there to get back in the network’s good graces, but with the ratings issues they’ve been having, he might be trying to bring in a bigger fish to fry.”
Stevie froze. “I’m not going back to L.A.”
“I know that, but Shepherd’s never believed it. He might think he can wrangle you back.”
“It’s not happening.”
“Just be prepared.”
She forced herself to loosen her clenched fist. She’d chewed her thumbnail down to the quick. But Mark was right. She needed to be prepared. If Shepherd was in a pinch for money and stealing from shows’ accounts, she might be able to dig something up, something she could use as a shield if he came after her and Cade any harder with that something worse threat. It was her only option.
“I will. I promise,” she said. Another promise, but to herself this time. She wouldn’t let Shepherd wreck her life again.
She and Mark said their goodbyes, and Stevie ended the call.
The quietness around her wasn’t nearly as peaceful as before. She knew what she had to do. Having spent so much time with Shepherd, she knew his quirks, where he liked to hide things, and the passwords he rotated through because he didn’t trust technology.
Monday, she resolved. Monday, she would dig around a bit.
“Good morning.”
She jumped in her chair and choked on the saliva in her throat, feeling like she might die then and there of a heart attack. She swiveled around in her chair and found Cade standing in the doorway, eyes a little wide at her surprise. But seeing him, she instantly relaxed and smiled.
“Hey you.”
He stepped outside. His chest was bare since she had his shirt on, which he noted with a sly, appraising grin, and his pants hung low on his hips without the leather belt he normally wore. Seeing him in this state was like seeing the other side of a coin, a hidden-away part he didn’t allow much of the outside world to see.
He took the chair across from her. His long legs stretched out before him, his ankles crossed and his tanned feet bare.
“So,” he started. His gaze swept out to the tourists and the ocean. He was nervous, she realized, and maybe even scared, like this morning was the final piece of last night, and after this moment, they might walk away from the puzzle forever. “Last night.”
“Last night,” Stevie said, grinning. “So . . .”
He laughed and she won his gaze over again, his caramel eyes shining at her. And then she felt the peace returning, especially as his nerves faded away.
“And you’re okay with . . . things?”
“I’m really good, Cade.”
“You would tell me if you weren’t, right?”
“Even if I didn’t,” she said, taking him in, “you would hear me lie.”
He smirked. “True.”
“Are you okay with things?”
Suddenly, she was nervous. She hadn’t thought about this part—him not being okay with her. What if he was disappointed?
He leaned over and took her hand, tugging her to him. She went onto his lap, not caring about the people on the beach as she straddled his waist, so similar to last night in her living room on her chair that her heart started beating a little faster. He gazed up at her, clearly thinking the same thing.
“I’m more than okay,” he said and kissed her.
She pulled back, a little breathless, and wiggled against him, feeling his response to their bodies pressed together and her hands as they roamed.
“What now?” he asked.
He meant so much more than just the immediate, and so did she, but first, “Breakfast,” she said. Her stomach grumbled in response.
“I have some ideas about after breakfast.”
“Oh, really?”
He leaned in and whispered his thoughts in her ear. She shuddered from his warm breath. His words turned her inside out, and he touched her as he spoke, his hands skimming up and around her ribs, up her back and back down again, discovering she wasn’t wearing anything beneath his shirt. He watched her like he might never need to look away again, and she loved it. The L word. Again. But she did. Gone was his uncertainty around her, his carefulness like he might shatter her or send her straight to the liquor store.
Maybe this was the way they were always meant to be around each other.
If that was right, then Stevie loved that too.
* * *
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Stevie asked on Sunday morning.
“Definitely.” As he drove up the winding coastal road, Cade glanced over at Stevie, taking in her curly, wild hair, round sunglasses the size of fists, tiny denim shorts, and white crop top. They’d stopped at his apartment on Main in the heart of Canaan before starting toward the northern part of the island. She didn’t know what she’d imagined about where Cade lived—she’d only passed it on the street, never going in—but the charming, industrial converted loft above the town’s flower shop hadn’t been it. It was minimal and clean lines, smooth concrete floors, and leather couches. It smelled like him too. She could have stayed there all day, snooping around while he was in the shower, but he’d come out, catching her going through his pantry, and grinned, saying it was time to go before he found her going through his closets next. “Mom loves you already. Trust me.”
There was that L word again. Stevie pushed her sunglasses up her nose and turned back to the view beyond her passenger window. She rarely had a reason to come to this part of the island. Her reason today? Visiting Cade’s mom. After dinner at Kyra’s Friday night, she’d insisted Cade bring Stevie over.
Her stomach heaved as she remembered the quiet joy on Annabelle’s face during dinner. Today had become really important to Cade; she could practically feel his buzzing excitement bouncing around the truck’s cab. There was hope in his eyes after Friday night and the walls they’d smashed down between them with a few touches. Friday night had been like the cap bursting off an over-pressurized container. And yeah, the release felt great—more than great. The best Stevie could remember feeling sober. But it was terrifying too, because now they were involving his mother. Already, this thing was beyond them.
She cut a sideways glance at Cade. He was grinning and bobbing his head in time to the Sturgill Simpson song DJ Tooty was playing on the local Canaan station.
She adjusted her sunglasses again and sighed.
Cade chuckled. “You don’t have to be nervous, you know.”
“You’re taking me to meet your mom. We haven’t even been on a date yet.”
He darted a surprised glance her way. “I guess you’re right. We haven’t.” He turned on his blinkers and dutifully checked his mirrors before turning onto the road that would take them up to the part of the island where his mom lived. Violet’s house and the island’s lighthouse were up there too, near the nature reserve.
“Your mom seemed like she had a good time Friday night,” Stevie ventured, wanting to change the subject before she got too nervous. But her mind kept returning to that look on Annabelle’s face as she watched her sons tell stories about their father.
“She did.” Cade’s dimples deepened. “Hale and I haven’t seen her like that in a while.”
Stevie forced her voice to stay even as she asked, “How are her treatments going?”
His smile faded. “She’s trying another round of chemo now.” He doled out the guarded words sparingly. His grip tightened on t
he wheel, and Stevie realized it might not have been just Annabelle memorizing the moments from that night. Maybe Hale and Cade knew all too well how much time she had left. “We hope since she’s a little stronger this time it might give her a better chance at fighting it off.”
Stevie’s mouth went dry. “That sounds hopeful.”
“She’s tough.”
“She looked great.”
They propped the words up with stilts and high hopes. They were hollow things, easily shot through, but neither of them took aim. For a second, out of the corner of her eye, Cade resembled that young boy who’d come home to his mother, needing comfort and a hug after the kids had cut him with the sharp cruelty only kids could wield, because only mothers gave out that special brand of all right–ness.
They made their way up to the farthest part of the island, and Stevie could just spot the top of the old lighthouse that had been on the island as long as Violet’s family, which blew Stevie’s mind. Out here, the trees were denser and a deeper, richer green. The roads were quiet, and they drove with the windows down, the late-summer air whipping through the cab as the local radio station blared tunes.
Stevie had her bare feet propped up on the window as Cade pulled onto a narrow gravel drive lined with trees. Beneath the thick canopy, the air was cooler and darker, like they’d entered a secret forest. She pictured Cade and Hale here as kids, running amok through the woods like little heathens and making mud pies and fighting monsters.
Spitting gravel and bobbing through the ruts, the truck eventually reached the end of the lane, where a bright yellow cottage with cream shutters sat like a happy smile at the end of a sentence. Blooming flowers wove up trellises along the front of the house. Rose bushes and other flowers filled nearly every inch of space, a lifetime of gardening all spilling out onto the earth.
Amongst it all, Annabelle Cooper sat on an old iron bench like the fairy queens Stevie used to read about in kids’ books. A bright purple scarf was wound around her head, and she and Nancy, her live-in nurse, were busy snapping green beans into a large woven basket.
“Wow,” Stevie said, stepping out of the truck after Cade had cut the engine.
He shot her a grin. “Isn’t it awesome? Hey, Mom!”
They walked over to his mother, her gray face already creasing with a smile. “Hey yourself. Come here and give me a hug. You too, Stevie.”
They both obliged her, the strength in Annabelle’s hug surprising Stevie. She smelled like pollen and sunshine, and her cold fingers pinched Stevie’s shoulders tightly, like Annabelle didn’t want to let her go. Stevie’s own mother had never hugged her like that. The intensity of such a simple thing stole her words. Nancy took Cade off to show him where the loose gutter was, leaving Annabelle and Stevie alone in the garden.
“Have a seat! You wouldn’t mind helping an old lady snap some beans, would you?”
“You’ll have to show me how,” Stevie managed. “I thought they came canned like this.”
Annabelle hooted out a laugh, her delicate hands flapping at Stevie like she’d made some great joke. Stevie laughed along as if she had, but who knew? Ten seconds ago, she’d thought beans were manufactured or something.
Annabelle showed her how to find the juncture in the pod between each bean and how to snap it just right. Soon, Stevie was snapping right along with her, the basket filling up at their feet. Cade walked by carrying a metal ladder, a tool belt strapped around his waist, and waved. Stevie watched him disappear around the corner of the house, picturing all too well how his shoulders had felt beneath her hands last night. How he’d said her name so unguardedly, so freely. A way of talking she’d never heard from him.
“He gets it from his father, you know.”
Stevie jumped at Annabelle’s voice.
“Um, what’s that?” she asked quickly, like she hadn’t just been having inappropriate thoughts.
“His looks. He’s practically his father’s clone.” She smiled wistfully as she recalled her late husband.
“Your husband must have been really hot then.”
Annabelle coughed in surprise, her hand fluttering to her mouth to cover her laugh, but her eyes shone. “I like you, Stevie. You’re a good girl for my Cade. I’m so happy to see my boys so full of life and joy.”
Stevie had to force a smile because she knew she would never be the good girl for Cade. She returned her attention to snapping beans. “Hale and Kyra are really great together,” she said, unable to think of anything else to say.
But Annabelle was having none of it. “And so are you and Cade. I saw you with him at dinner. You look at him like I used to look at his father.”
“Really? You think we’re good together?” Stevie hadn’t wanted to ask, but the question spilled unbidden from her tongue. Seeking Annabelle’s approval felt like playing with fire; it could ruin her, but she couldn’t stay away from the heat.
“I promise I don’t say things just to hear myself talk. I mean it.”
Stevie’s laugh was a little bitter. “I guess I’m not used to that kind of honesty.”
“Your parents?” Annabelle ventured gently.
Stevie nodded, her fingers moving faster over the bean pods.
“That’s sad for them, but I’m glad to see that’s not a problem you have.” Stevie looked up then, and Annabelle smiled at her. “Honesty is always best.”
Stevie’s attention skittered back to the corner Cade had disappeared around. If she were truly honest, she would tell him to run away from her. She would be upfront about what a bad person she was, instead of hiding it away like a dirty secret from the one person who needed to hear it most.
“What’s wrong, dear? You can tell me.”
Once she was certain she could keep her voice steady, Stevie said, “Your son’s a good man.”
“Eh.” Annabelle shrugged. “He’s not that good. He once broke his piggy bank and stole twenty dollars from the amount he was supposed to tithe at church. He lied about it for a week before finally telling me the truth. No one is perfect.”
Stevie stared at her, eyebrows raised. “Really?” she said, almost laughing. “That’s the worst thing you can come up with?”
Annabelle chuckled. “Well, if you would give me a minute to think . . .”
Stevie shook her head, smiling. It was impossible to be gloomy around this woman. “I get the picture. Thanks.”
“You know,” Annabelle started, dropping a few beans into the basket, “Kyra comes out here quite a bit. You should come with her sometime. You two and me and Nancy could make a girls’ day out of it. Poor Nancy has to spend all her time with an old lady. I’m sure she would love the company.”
“I would be down for that.”
“See? That’s my point. I’m never ‘down’ for anything these days.” She rocked her bird-like shoulder against Stevie as if they were sharing a joke. Maybe they were. Maybe this was what family felt like. Stevie blinked in surprise. “Women talk to each other, as they should. We’re good mirrors, and honest, like you, Stevie. That’s one of the many reasons Kyra values your friendship so much. And I’m quite certain it’s why Cade loves you like he does.”
Stevie choked, as in, like, spasm-choked. Like she might die because she was seeing stars and not getting enough oxygen to her brain.
Annabelle clapped her solidly on the back. “Goodness. Calm down, now. If anyone croaks today, it’ll be me.”
“Don’t,” Stevie gasped, “say that!”
“You know what I mean, and don’t bother arguing with me either. I see the way you two look at each other. Besides, it was only a matter of time before you came around. Cade had his eye on you right when you first moved to the island. Trust me. Hale and I had to hear all about the beautiful redhead on Gardenia.”
Stevie couldn’t help herself. “Really? He said that?”
“Ask Hale sometime. He’ll tell you, I’m sure. He’s honest like you. You might get more than you bargained for.”
“Oh, I know all
about his honesty.”
“Sadly,” Annabelle said with a sigh, “he gets that from his father. Cade got his looks, and Hale got his mouth.” She leveled a long assessing stare on Stevie, and she felt like Annabelle was unraveling all her inner strings. “Hmm,” Annabelle murmured. “I see the issue here. Kyra told me about you, you know, and about what you went through. I bet my dear, sweet Hale put his big foot in his even bigger mouth, didn’t he? I’ll have to talk to that boy about sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Now that has been an ongoing battle.”
“Oh,” Stevie started, alarmed, “he didn’t—”
“Don’t start lying now, dear.”
Stevie stopped trying to fight it. She couldn’t help it if Annabelle knew her sons so well. “He has a point.”
“A point about what?” Annabelle waved her hand in the air. “That you’ll hurt Cade?” She scoffed, knowing she’d guessed correctly the first time. “My boys are strong in their own ways, but Cade is different. It happens when a kid has to go through hell and come out the other side. You know that too. You both do. It’s why you’re so perfect for each other. So don’t think you’ll break him. That young man is made of steel and grit.”
Stevie didn’t know what else to say, and from the banging and rattling sounds coming from the back of the house, she guessed Cade was almost done. Right then, the front door opened, and Nancy stepped out with two glasses of water in her hands.
“Mrs. Cooper,” she called over to where Stevie and Annabelle sat. “It’s time for your snack.”
Annabelle sighed through her nose. “She always does that when we have company. Calls me Mrs. Cooper. Bah. I tell her and tell her, but the girl won’t listen. She’s very proper, you know. Help an old woman up, would you, Stevie?”
Stevie stood and gathered up the beans before offering Annabelle her arm.
Annabelle straightened off the bench and patted her shoulder. “You’re a good girl, Stevie. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, because the great thing about what people say about you is that their words are just suggestions. They aren’t rules you have to live by. You can be more than what people say about you, even if the words come from friends, or family, or the old farts down the street. So, don’t worry, dear, you’ll be just fine.”
