Jaded

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Jaded Page 5

by Tess Thompson


  The front doorbell rang.

  She froze like a startled animal. Who would come by this early in the morning? Don’t be ridiculous. He’s in Tennessee. He can’t hurt me.

  She scampered across her hardwood floor in her bare feet. The patio was not accessible from anywhere but the kitchen. She’d made sure of that when she’d remodeled. She also had a peephole installed in the front door.

  Zane stood on her front steps. Zane? Here at her house? Was someone hurt? She yanked open the door.

  “Is everything all right?”

  He stepped backward, like she scared him. “Um, yeah.”

  “Is everyone okay?”

  His expression softened. “Yes, everyone’s fine. I came by to ask you something.” For a brief second, his gaze left her face and scanned her from head to toe.

  What was she wearing? A filmy summer pajama set. A very see-through pajama set. Self-conscious, she folded her arms across her chest.

  “I’ve seen it all before, you know.”

  She flushed with heat and embarrassment. Flirt back. Act like it’s all good. “I suppose you have.” You could again if you wanted to.

  “May I come inside?”

  “Sure.” She stepped aside to let him pass through, then closed and locked the door behind them.

  “Sorry to barge in unannounced, but I had something urgent to ask you. Something that couldn’t wait.” He sniffed the air. “Is that Sleeping Monk coffee?”

  “I started ordering it after I had it at the bar.” What was he doing here? His cheeks were flushed, like he was nervous.

  “I’m flattered,” he said.

  “Only the best,” she said.

  She watched with hungry eyes as he walked over to the window. He was dressed in his usual board shorts that hung low on his narrow hips. Wide shoulders and his well-developed chest were displayed nicely in a faded blue t-shirt. She itched to slide her fingers under the material and run them across the muscles of his back. Why did he have to be so hot?

  She slipped into a sweater that hung on the back of one of her armchairs. Best not to let him see what he did to her nipples anytime he was near.

  “I love this room,” he said. “Makes me feel calm.”

  “Thanks. That was the idea.” She joined him at the window. A boat with a vivid fuchsia sail was barely visible through the fog a mile or so from the waters of the public beach. “You’ve been here before, right?”

  “It’s been awhile.”

  “My birthday two years ago, I think.” He’d only stayed thirty minutes. She’d been disappointed to see him leave.

  “I need a favor,” he said.

  “From me?”

  “Yeah, from you.” Zane turned to face her and cocked his head to the side. “You all right?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “You’re pale.” He reached over and brushed a clump of hair from her cheek. “And your eyes are super bloodshot.”

  She turned back to the view. “I didn’t sleep well.”

  He scrutinized her with the same intense look. “That’s it?”

  “Bad dreams. Nothing to worry about.”

  “You sure?” A muscle in his jaw twitched. She’d noticed this happened whenever he was nervous or tense, which seemed to be whenever she was around.

  “I’m sure.” She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her sweater. What was it about this man that made her legs shake?

  “You look adorable in your glasses,” he said.

  God, she was wearing her glasses. She never wore her glasses around other people. They reminded her too much of the girl she used to be. “I hate them.”

  “If you wore them more, the entire state of California would start copying you.”

  “They make me feel like someone else. The person I used to be before I came here.”

  He brushed the side of her cheek. “Well, you’re beautiful with or without them.”

  “Zane.” Don’t do that and walk away from me.

  “What?”

  “What’s the favor?” she asked.

  “Right. That. I seem to have trouble focusing around you.” He raked a hand through his short hair, making it stick up on one side. “I have a dinner thing to go to with some potential investors.”

  “Investors? Not in The Oar?” Was he in trouble?

  “No, no. I own that fair and square, thanks to my dad. This is for another business. In fact, I’d like your advice about a couple things.”

  “Advice from me?” She didn’t think he cared one iota for her opinion.

  “I respect your business sense.” He glanced behind them at the couch. “Can we sit?”

  “You want coffee?” she asked.

  “I’d give my first born for some coffee.”

  She flinched. First born.

  “I barely slept last night either,” he added.

  “Cream, no sugar, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Don’t look so surprised,” she said. “I notice things.”

  “So do I.” He looked into her eyes without a hint of humor.

  “I won’t ask what.”

  “You shouldn’t need to.”

  A wave of desire washed over her. Keep calm.

  She excused herself and left for the kitchen, relieved to have a few moments to gather herself.

  As she made his coffee, she thought about the events that led up to their night together. She’d been out to see Hugh earlier that day. Seeing his blank eyes, with no knowledge of who she was, hurt every time. After she left, she’d driven back into town and headed into The Oar to numb her feelings with a few glasses of cold white wine.

  One of Zane’s staff had called in sick. Without thinking, she’d donned an apron and started taking orders from hungry patrons just like she’d done for Hugh. Only now she was a healthy grownup, not some recent cancer survivor with a crush on the owner’s son.

  She closed her eyes as the memory of that night swept over her. His strong arms as he picked her up and took her to his bedroom. The taste of his neck on her tongue. Afterward, he fell asleep almost immediately. She did not. She was wide awake. More awake than she’d ever been in her life. Sleeping away from home never came easy to her, but this was a new level.

  A full moon shed a soft light through the window. She covered his naked body with a blanket. He slept on his side with his arms tucked close to his body, like a boy. She wanted to touch his hair but didn’t want to wake him.

  What was she doing?

  Honor Sullivan did not watch a man sleep. She didn’t let a man get the upper hand, either. This was a man who could get her to do whatever he wanted. A man that could hurt her. But worse, a man she could hurt.

  Still damp from their lovemaking, she snuck out of bed, tiptoeing to make sure she didn’t make the floorboards creak. She left. No goodbye. Nothing. Just skedaddled the heck out of there.

  The guy had major abandonment issues and boy had she triggered them. Zane’s mother had left him when he was a baby. His fiancée ran off with her maid-of-honor’s husband a week before their wedding. Sneaking out in the middle of the night was about as good a trigger as one could find.

  Until just the past few weeks, he’d been actively avoiding her. It wasn’t until Brody and Kara’s wedding that he seemed to soften. She wasn’t sure if it was the magic of the wedding, but it was like he’d taken a night off from hating her. He’d even driven her home at the end of the night and given her a kiss on the cheek, all platonic and everything. Whatever heat he had felt for her that night she’d managed to put out in the time it took to cross a creaky floor and pull a sundress over her head.

  When she returned with his coffee, he sat on one end of the sofa, leafing through one of her architectural magazines.

  She sat on the oversized armchair, curling her legs under her. When she looked over at him, she caught him staring at her legs. They were nice, even though she barely broke five feet, two inches. All of those Zumba and yoga classes Kara and Violet we
re always dragging her to had made them muscular and shapely.

  He glanced down at the coffee in his hand and lowered his voice. “Do you remember that night you were over?”

  “Which part?” She smiled.

  He flushed as he returned her smile. “I’m referring to the conversation part of the evening. Remember my idea for a brewery here in town?”

  “Yes, that. Sure, I remember. Community type of place. Grassy lawn for volleyball or Frisbees. Dog friendly. I loved the idea.” They’d dug deep on a few things, including their career dreams.

  “Have you ever noticed the building before you turn onto the main road? It almost looks like a barn, but it’s actually the old feed store?” he asked.

  She had to think for a moment. “You mean the red one?” The building sat at least a hundred yards off the highway and looked as if it were about to collapse at any moment.

  “That’s the one. The building’s been empty for years, but the owners refused to sell for fear an outsider would buy it. You know how people are here.”

  She nodded. The only thing the residents of Cliffside Bay disliked more than newcomers were newcomers owning businesses.

  “I approached the owner years ago, but he wasn’t ready,” Zane said. “He’d been holding out on putting it up for sale, knowing the longer he kept it, the more valuable it would become. He’s ready now and wants to sell it to me. I can’t swing the loan or the down payment. With my dad’s expenses, there’s no way. But I got to thinking that if I found a couple silent investors, maybe I could make it happen. What do you think?”

  “There’s no way it could fail unless it wasn’t managed properly,” she said.

  “I need silent partners,” he said. “I want to run it without interference.”

  “What about Kyle and Brody?” They were the obvious choices—money as well as no interest in running the place.

  Zane shook his head. “No, I can’t go into business with any of the Dogs. That’s a sure way to end friendships.”

  But strangers? Was that any better? “Who are these guys?”

  “One of them is a gal, not a guy,” he said.

  “I should know better than to assume. What do you know about them?” she asked.

  “Not much, other than they’re USC alumni and they’re angel investors in the beer and spirits business. Which brings me to my questions. One is—I wondered if you’d look over the contract when and if we get one.”

  “Done. I can hook you up with our attorney too.”

  “Fantastic. The other thing…I’m supposed to have dinner with the potential investors and their spouses tonight. And, well, I need a date.”

  “A date? Like a real date?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively to hide her nervousness.

  The muscle in his jaw twitched again. She shouldn’t tease him. Be vulnerable.

  That’s the kind of advice Kara and Maggie gave her. Vulnerability allows wonderful things to happen. Easier said than done.

  “It can be a date. If you wanted it to be.” Zane paused and uncrossed his legs. “I’d like it to be a date.”

  “I accept,” she said.

  “We’re having dinner at a place in the city. Super fancy.”

  “Sure, that’s no problem,” she said.

  “Maybe not for you. I know you have dinners like this all the time. The problem is not you, but me. I’m not sure what to wear. I’m out of practice on this kind of thing. I was never that good at it to begin with.”

  This adorable man. “You can wear the suit you wore to Brody’s wedding.”

  “Is that appropriate?”

  “It’s perfect.” You looked like a movie star in that suit. “And as luck would have it, I happen to have a new dress.”

  “Great. I’ll pick you up at five.”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  After he left, she leaned against the door and pressed her fingers to the spot on her cheek where he’d brushed her hair aside. Zane had asked her out on a date. Well, it was partially a date and partially a business thing—regardless, he’d asked.

  What a mess she must look in her old sweater and pajamas. Had she even combed her hair that morning? She examined herself in the mirror that hung by the front door. She’d been so enthralled the moment he’d walked in the door, she’d completely forgotten about her glasses. Chic black frames gave them an artistic flare, but still. Normally, she didn’t go out of the house without thinking through every detail of her appearance.

  She studied herself in the mirror, sizing up her attributes: clear skin, heart-shaped face, eyes the color of walnut wood. Her long blond hair wasn’t naturally blond—more of a dingy light brown. However, thanks to Alexandro at the salon in San Francisco it looked like the sun itself had blessed her with shiny golden locks.

  There were plenty of detriments. Her full bottom lip made her appear either pouty or spoiled. Without makeup, her almond shaped eyes looked small and squinty. Now that she really looked, they were practically fixed into the middle of her brain. If she smiled, they’d disappear completely.

  What did Zane see when he looked at her? Did he think she was cute or pretty? It was hard to be anything but cute when you barely broke five feet.

  She walked away from the mirror. The voices of the women she’d lived with during her childhood screamed at her. You’re dumb and ugly. No one good will ever love you.

  Mrs. Aker had said those exact words when she’d kicked Honor out of her house. No one good will ever love you.

  That one haunted her.

  Now there was Zane. He was good. He was the best. Could he love her?

  Would the truth about her push him away? That thought frightened her more than anything had since her cancer. She hadn’t expected to like him for real. She hadn’t planned to feel anything but a schoolgirl crush. Hell, she hadn’t planned on falling in love with him.

  For months now, she’d made a deal with herself. If he showed interest in her again, she would tell him the truth about her infertility. She owed him that before either of them became more attached. She would go to this dinner with him and afterward, she would tell him. I had ovarian cancer and a hysterectomy. I can’t have any children.

  Chapter Five

  Zane

  * * *

  ZANE DROVE DOWN Honor’s driveway and into town. He’d done it. Finally. Honor had agreed to go on a date with him. How and why had that been so hard? He’d wanted to ask her out the night he took her home from Brody and Kara’s wedding, but somehow the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He’d walked her to her doorstep and stood there like an idiot as she looked up at him with those eyes that made his stomach do flips. All he had to do was ask her to dinner. Instead, he’d kissed her on the cheek. After holding her all night on the dance floor, all he could come up with was that kiss on the cheek. Pathetic.

  He would make up for it tonight. Before this day was through, Honor would know how he felt about her. End of story. If she didn’t feel the same way, he had to face it directly like he did everything else. This state of limbo was no good for either of them. He would fix this tonight. End of story.

  The sounds of an acoustic guitar greeted him the moment he walked through the front door of his apartment. Maggie was here. When she first came back to town, she’d stayed with him, but now that Sophie was here, she’d moved in with the Wallers. He only had one guest room and girls needed a lot of space. They had a lot of items they liked to leave around the house: clothes, hair products, lotions, random bottles of nail polish. Fortunately, most of them smelled good.

  At this moment, the house smelled of coffee and cinnamon rolls. Sophie was baking again. Since she’d moved in, his home often smelled of cookies or pies or cakes. Sophie had a wicked sweet tooth. Her twenty-year-old metabolism could handle it. He, on the other hand, was going to get fat if she didn’t find a place of her own soon.

  He entered the kitchen. His mouth watered as the smell of cinnamon and butter intensified. “Those smell ridiculous.”

>   “Hey Zane.” Sophie spread white frosting over the rolls and spoke without looking up. “My big brother. I still love saying that.”

  He leaned over the tray of rolls to get a better look. “It took me three times the other day to explain how the three of us are related.”

  “We should give them a chart.” Maggie held her guitar on her lap and spoke with a pencil between her teeth. Music sheets were scattered over the table.

  “It’s not that tricky,” Sophie said. “I just tell people I was adopted. You guys never knew I existed until a few months ago. Zane and I share a father. Maggie and I share a mother. Nothing to it.”

  Maggie took the pencil from her mouth and made a notation on the sheet of paper in front of her. “Yep. Throw in an abandoned baby at a fire station and you’ve got the whole picture.”

  “Hardly,” Zane said.

  “Where have you been?” Maggie asked. “You look happy.”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He tugged on the strawberry blond braid that hung down her back.

  “I would.” Maggie wrinkled her freckled nose. “I smell coffee on your clothes.”

  “That’s a clue to where I’ve been,” Zane said.

  Sophie turned from where she’d been washing a bowl in the sink. “You didn’t go downstairs to set up for lunch, did you? You promised.”

  “No, I didn’t. I promised to let you go solo this week. I’m a man of my word.”

  “I’m totally ready for the lunch crowd,” Sophie said. “As soon as I eat a cinnamon roll or two.”

  “I agree. Not about the rolls, though,” Zane said. “Your mother’s going to think I’m a bad influence on you.”

  “She did send some carob chips home with me last week,” Sophie said.

  “What happened to the young Doctor Waller this morning? He didn’t meet me for our surf,” Zane asked Maggie.

  “He’s on weekend duty because Kara’s gone, remember?” Maggie asked. “He went out to see Mrs. Jones. Her sciatica is acting up again.”

 

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