“Then crawl out of your little mole hole and go get her,” Kyle said.
Zane lunged for him. They toppled to the floor and rolled across the carpet, throwing punches. Brody called out to them, but the buzzing between Zane’s ears made it impossible to hear what he said.
Brody reached down and yanked Kyle off Zane. They were strong men, but nothing compared to Brody’s six-foot-five, two-hundred and twenty-five pounds of pure muscle. Brody shoved Kyle to one side of him as Zane struggled to his feet. Brody separated them with the span of his arms. Zane and Kyle glowered at each other.
“You two dummies better sit down right now,” Brody said between clenched teeth. “We’re stopping this. Now.”
Like whipped puppies, they returned to their chairs.
Brody sat too and looked from one of them to the other. “I’m baffled right now.” He tented his fingers under his chin. “What’s really going on here?”
“It’s obvious,” Zane said. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before now. Kyle’s in love with Honor.”
“And you’re in love with Maggie,” Kyle said.
“I am not in love with Maggie,” Zane said. “We go way back, that’s all.”
“What’s happening right now? This is why we’ve always had the rule of no involvement with women in the friend group,” Brody said. “But no one seems to remember it lately.”
“Maggie’s not part of the friend group,” Zane said. “She belongs to Jackson. No one else.”
“Including you,” Kyle said.
“That’s right,” Zane said. “And Honor should belong to me.”
Kyle bent at the waist and covered his face with his hands before looking back up at Zane. “Okay, here’s the truth. I’ve had a thing for Honor for years.”
“What are you saying?” Brody asked. “That can’t be true.”
“It is,” Kyle said.
“Does she know?” Brody asked.
“No, of course not,” Kyle said. “Like Maggie, her heart belongs to someone else. Dude, it’s obvious she’s in love with you. I can’t figure out why you’re so stupid. Honestly. She’s special. Like really special. I’ve never met anyone like her. The way she’s built a life out of ashes, man, that’s freaking nothing but brilliant. And I have to sit back and watch you act like a toad all these months. Worst of all, you hurt her practically every time we’re all together. If you looked a little more carefully and got over your own selfish insecurities, you’d see she’s still the little girl no one wanted. Every time you say stupid stuff to her and make her feel bad, I can guarantee you she goes home and cries.”
“Kyle, why do you say that?” Brody asked.
“Because I know a little about being the kid no one wanted,” Kyle said.
“No. That’s not right,” Zane said. “She’s tough. She doesn’t need me or anyone.”
“Is that the problem?” Brody asked. “She doesn’t need you enough?”
Zane stared at him. How could Brody turn on him like this?
“Does she threaten you because she kicks so much ass all day, every day?” Kyle asked.
“I’d like to kick your ass right now,” Zane said.
“Boys,” Brody said.
“No, I’m not threatened by how incredible she is,” Zane said. “Trust me, no one admires her more than me. We’re the same. Scrappy, only she’s about forty times smarter than me. Seeing her with the investors—I was so amazed and proud of her. It’s that…it’s that…I’m afraid. Okay? I’m so crazy about her that I’m afraid to let her in. I can’t be left again.”
“For Christ’s sake,” Kyle said. “It was almost four years ago. Get over it already.”
“Kyle. Jeez,” Brody said.
“No, he’s right. I should get over it. I thought I was over it and ready to fight for Honor, but last night something happened.” He paused. Could he sound like more of a jerk? “Last night, she told me she had cancer when she was young. Ovarian cancer.”
“No way,” Brody said. “I know everything about her.”
“She’s never told anyone,” Zane said. “Until me last night. She had a full hysterectomy.”
“Oh my God,” Brody said.
“Which means no kids,” Kyle said. “Is that what drove you away? God, you’re the biggest ass on the planet. Don’t you ever accuse me of treating women poorly ever again.”
“No, that’s not the thing.” Zane’s voice had elevated again. He was practically shouting. “I couldn’t care less about that part. If we wanted a baby, we could adopt or have a surrogate or something.”
“You’re scared she’s going to get sick,” Brody said. “That brought up a bunch of stuff for you. Abandonment stuff.”
“You sound like Kara right now,” Kyle said.
Brody smiled. “She’s starting to rub off on me. There’s hope for even the stupidest of men.”
“You’re right,” Zane said. “When she told me, I was so shocked I froze up and didn’t say anything, but my face must have betrayed me. She interpreted it like you just did, Kyle. She thought I was rejecting her because of the babies, but it was that I’m scared to lose her.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kyle said.
“Finally, we agree on something,” Zane said. “I’m an idiot.”
“You can fix this,” Brody said. “Do you know how many times I screwed up with Kara?” He picked up the wedding photograph from his desk and held it against his chest. “When we took Flora up to the coast to meet Dax, I blew it so bad I didn’t think I’d ever win her love.”
“What did you do?” Zane asked, strangely comforted that he wasn’t the only idiot.
“We spent this incredible day together. Just the two of us hanging out, and it was like the perfect day. We have so much in common and she was so beautiful and smart and fun. But I was still holding onto this idea that a relationship would wreck my career. When I say it now, I can’t even believe how stupid it sounds.”
“We thought so too,” Zane said.
“And you were right,” Brody said.
“Like we’re right about you,” Kyle said to Zane.
“Anyway, all I wanted to do was kiss her, but I didn’t because I was so intent on holding onto this false belief. Which was really about how afraid I was to get hurt. I walked her to her room and said goodnight. You know, still in denial about how much I loved her. Man, I was so frustrated. Seriously frustrated. Like I wanted to rip her clothes off right there.”
“We get it,” Kyle said.
“Yeah,” Zane said. He got it. Beyond got it. Honor in that dress the night before. Or at the beach. Or Brody’s wedding. Anytime, really.
“I decided it would be a grand idea to go down to the bar and pick up some girl and bring her upstairs. Like that would just miraculously erase Kara from my head.”
“You didn’t?” Zane asked.
“I did. But when I got her up there, I knew it was impossible. I mean, Kara was in the room next door. It was the stupidest idea I’ve ever had and I knew it right then. I didn’t even kiss this girl. I was trying to figure out how to get her out of my room when she slumped over on the bed and passed out.”
“For real?” Kyle asked.
“I had to sleep on the chair the entire night. And the poor girl had had so much to drink she snored like a man. It was bad.”
“That’s a nightmare,” Kyle said.
“Like it hasn’t happened to you,” Zane said. Probably like once a week.
“I’ve never had one pass out on me,” Kyle said.
“What happened next? I’m afraid to ask,” Zane said.
“The next morning, this girl traipses out of my room right as I’m talking to Kara in the hallway. The look on Kara’s face—let me tell you, as long as I live, I’ll never forget it. I hurt her to the core. It felt like I was dying. We laugh about it now because she knows the whole story, but I swear, that look of utter betrayal on her face still makes me cringe. I will never ever do anything
to hurt her like that again. If I can help it.”
“What’s the point of this story?” Zane asked. “To demonstrate that I’m not the only dolt in the room?”
Brody laughed. “Partly. Also, to explain that denial about your feelings can make you do outrageously stupid stuff to the woman you love. When you do, and it hurts her like I hurt Kara, it’ll make you feel like you’re dying or like you want to die. So, man, I know it’s hard to put your big boy undies on and tell her how you feel, but it’s nothing compared to losing her because you’re afraid.”
“What do I do to fix it?” Zane asked. “She was mad. Madder than I usually make her.”
“Kara and I almost didn’t make it because we didn’t tell each other the truth. You have to tell her the truth,” Brody said. “All of it. The fear. Everything.”
“We sound like chicks right now,” Kyle said.
“Just when I think you’re more evolved than I formerly guessed, you prove me wrong,” Brody said.
Kyle lifted his shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. “Listen, Zane, about my feelings for Honor.”
“So, you admit you have them,” Zane said.
“Had them. In the past,” Kyle said. “When I saw how she felt about you, I knew I’d never have a chance. I don’t gamble on things I have no chance to win.”
“I didn’t know you had feelings like a real boy,” Brody said.
“Even Pinocchio has to grow up eventually,” Kyle said. “Until I see a woman looking at me like Honor looks at Zane, or Kara looks at you, I’ll remain as is.”
“You touch her, I swear I’ll kill you,” Zane said.
“Dude. Your alpha male stuff gets old,” Kyle said.
“Boys. You’re both pretty,” Brody said.
A buzz from Brody’s desk interrupted further conversation. “Must be Lance and Honor coming through the gate,” Brody said.
Honor would be here in a matter of minutes. How was he going to play this? Would she run out of the room at the sight of him?
Minutes later, she and Lance appeared in the doorway of Brody’s study. “Hey guys,” she said. Definitely avoided eye contact.
“Is Kara here?” Lance asked. “We need all hands on deck.”
“I think she’s in the kitchen,” Brody said. “You guys want to meet in the living room so there’s enough seating for everyone?”
They agreed as the buzzer announced another visitor through the gates. “That’s Jackson,” Lance said. “Maggie’s in the city, so it’s just him.”
Minutes later, the Dogs, Kara, and Honor all gathered in the living room. Lance spoke first. “Thanks for making it on such short notice. This is an emergency and I want all of us to be on the same page.”
Zane stole glances at Honor. She gripped the arms of the chair. Her hair was in a ponytail and she wore yoga pants and a sleeveless workout shirt.
Honor spoke next. “I have a bit of a problem that I could use help with. It’s embarrassing and makes me feel very vulnerable, but Lance convinced me to share.” She looked over at Lance. He gave her an encouraging smile. “When I was ten, I turned my foster father in for abuse.”
She continued, telling them the story Zane already knew too well.
“This morning the D.A. called and said they had reason to believe he’d come to Cliffside Bay to seek his revenge.”
“What?” Zane sat forward in his chair. “He found you?”
“I guess so. The D.A. said it wouldn’t be hard because of my public life working for Brody.” Her voice trembled as she brought her fingers to just under her eyes. “Then I went outside to go for a walk and there was a bunny’s head on my mat. I think Gorham’s trying to scare me. Toy with me. I called Lance because I didn’t know what to do.”
She called Lance. Not him. It was a knife in his chest. He’d done this to himself. Which made it even worse.
“And he thought it might be best if I come and stay here,” Honor said. “Until they find him and bring him back to Tennessee.”
Kara’s eyes were wide and scared. Gorham had found Honor. It must bring up all kinds of fears in Kara about her own situation. But this was different, he reassured himself. Kara’s identity was a secret. Honor’s was not.
“Yes, you have to stay here,” Brody said. “It’s Fort Knox, as you know. No one gets in here without our permission. Rafael is fully armed. If anyone tries to get in here, he will take them down and ask questions later.” Zane had a new fondness for the ripped former Seal who sat at the gate of the property.
Kara nodded. “You can stay as long as needed.”
“I brought my things already. I guess I’ll be trapped here for the duration,” Honor said.
“Just until they catch him,” Zane said.
Honor’s gaze whipped to him, but she didn’t say anything.
“It’s a good thing Flora and my mom have moved out,” Brody said. “We have a full house this week.”
Kyle grinned. “Won’t be long now until my suite at the lodge is ready.” He winked at Honor. “Until then, you can play here with Lance and me.”
Damn Kyle. He would kill him. Swear to God.
“And me,” Kara said.
Brody wrapped his arm around Kara. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to leave you alone with this crew. They might corrupt you.”
“She has to show up to work, unlike these two derelicts,” Jackson said.
Kara nodded. “It’s probably for the best. I could certainly be corrupted.”
“If anyone could do it,” Brody said. “It’s Kyle and Lance.”
“Mostly Kyle,” Lance said. “Speaking of which, since we’re all here, let’s have a party. A pool party. It’s hot and I’m hungry for grilled meat.”
“I did bring my suit,” Honor said, smiling for the first time since she arrived. Her smile melted him. All he wanted was to take her into his arms and hold her.
He knew right then and there that Sophie was right. Fixing himself, facing his past was the way out of this mess. He wanted Honor. If he had to get over his issues in order to have her, he would. It wasn’t about his own fragile ego anymore. Honor needed him. He could see that now. He needed her. That was also plain as could be.
They’d gotten nowhere trying to locate his mother. His next move was to hire the private detective Flora had used to find Dax Hansen.
As they walked through the kitchen, he pulled Kara aside to ask her for the contact information for the investigator.
“Why do you want it?” Kara asked.
“I want to find my mom.”
“Really? Why?”
“I need to know why she did it. Why she left me,” he said.
“What do you think that answer will give you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Closure? Peace. I’m angry and I need to face her. Get answers.”
“Do you want her to be part of your life?” Kara asked.
Zane shrugged. Did he? Is that what he hoped for? A chance to know his mom? “I honestly don’t know.”
Kara put her hand on his arm. “Just be prepared. She might not want to be found. You have to decide if you can handle her rejection a second time.”
Leave it to Kara to put the truth right out there.
“I’m prepared for the worst,” he said. “Just like always.”
“Oh, Zane. That makes me sad.”
He shrugged. “What can I say? Experience doesn’t lie.”
“What’s going on with Honor and you? I take it from her frosty attitude toward you that last night didn’t go well.”
He summarized the night and his terrible reaction to her cancer announcement.
Kara shook her head, in obvious amazement. “It’s hard to believe she never told any of us about this.”
“She doesn’t want anyone’s pity. Or for us to look at her as a sick person.”
“Did she tell you that?” Kara asked.
“No. I just know.”
Kara’s brown eyes peered at him. “You get her. She g
ets you too. You’ve got to go to her and say you’re sorry. Explain to her that it’s your issues, not her infertility.”
“If I can get her to talk to me.”
“You’ve got all night. Make it happen.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter Ten
Honor
* * *
HONOR UNPACKED HER SUITCASE in the upstairs guest room. For months last year, it had been Kara’s room. The faint scent of her perfume remained. She hung a few dresses and blouses in the closet and put the rest away in the bureau. In the bathroom, she organized her makeup and toiletries in the drawers. This was a nice room, but she missed her own home already. It was the place where she felt safe. A sanctuary. The first time she’d ever had a place that felt like home.
A pair of doors opened to the patio. She stepped outside and looked down at the yard. Brody’s kidney-shaped pool was stark blue under the summer sun. Patio furniture arranged around the fire pit would be a place to gather when darkness came, but for now the chairs were empty. Kyle and Lance were already in the pool, tossing a ball back and forth. Zane sat at the edge of the shallow end without a shirt. His feet and calves dangled in the water, paler than the rest of him. The water did that, of course, but something about the way they appeared vulnerable softened her anger. Zane Shaw was a good man. Everyone in this town knew he was as steady and fair-minded as his father had been. He deserved a woman who could give him the family he craved.
Perhaps he sensed her looking at him because he glanced up and waved. She returned the gesture. The anger returned. He bailed on you when you were vulnerable. Don’t forget that.
She changed into one of her bikinis and a cover up. Feet in flip-flops and sunhat in hand, she went downstairs. She would rather curl up and take a nap. However, the way everyone had rallied to come take care of her, she knew she must go down and pretend to enjoy herself.
When she came downstairs, Brody was waiting for her.
“Come into my study. I want to talk to you about something,” Brody said.
“If it’s about the Cartwright endorsement, I can tell you this. There’s no way in hell we’re taking that deal.”
Jaded Page 11
