“What do we do about Lavonne?” Honor asked. “I don’t think it’s right to separate Jubie from him completely. He’s the only familiar thing in her life.”
“Kyle can probably use him in some capacity at the resort. Or, I could bring him on at the restaurant to bus tables and wash dishes. He needs a place to live.”
“What about that room Kara rented when she first moved here?”
“I can call Old Man Cooper and see if it’s rented or not.”
“If it is, then what?” Worry had settled at the base of her neck and wouldn’t let go.
“Then we find him another place. It’ll come together. Worst case, we’ll make Kyle give him a room at the resort.” Zane took her almost empty martini glass and set it on the table. He pulled her to him and kissed her lightly. “I really need to make an honest woman out of you if we’re going to be parents.”
She couldn’t ever imagine loving another man as much as she loved Zane Shaw.
The sounds of Jubie’s cries woke her from a deep sleep around three in the morning. Next to her, Zane stirred, but didn’t wake all the way. She stumbled out of bed and reached for her robe. The sound of Jubie’s weeping grew louder as she walked down the hall to the guest room.
She was in the middle of the big bed with her bear clutched to her chest. Streams of tears glistened on her cheeks. Honor rushed to the bed.
“Jubie, what’s wrong? Are you scared?”
The little girl nodded, her brown eyes wide with fright. “I had a bad dream.” She hugged her bear tighter.
“And then you weren’t sure where you were.”
“Right.”
Honor knew exactly. It had happened to her many times as a child with all the different houses and half-way places over the years. “Can I sit by you?” Honor asked.
“Okay.”
When she was settled on the bed, she put her arm around Jubie and pulled her close. She kissed the top of her head. “I lost my mom when I was your age too.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I had to go live with strangers. It was hard.”
“Did you cry?” Jubie asked.
“So much. There’s nothing wrong with crying. You can cry as much as you want here at my house.”
“I miss my mommy.”
“I know you do. I wish I could give her to you, but I can’t.”
“Lavonne says went to Heaven and that’s she’s happy there.”
“That’s right,” Honor said.
“How can she be happy without me?”
Oh, God, how could she? Honor knew from every instinct she had as a woman that Rinny fought with everything she had to stay. She could imagine the bargaining with God. Just let me get my little girl grown. What could Honor say to this broken-hearted girl that would make any sense? Hugh’s voice came to her. When in doubt, tell the truth. “It’s not that she was happy to leave you. Don’t think that for a moment. She hated it very much. Do you remember how hard she fought to get better?”
“I guess so.”
“That was all for you. So, she could stay as long as she could. But sometimes God calls the best people home to Him because He needs more angels.”
“I don’t want her to be an angel. I want her to be my mom.”
“Right, yes. I understand.” No kidding. Why did God take her? She didn’t know. They would never know until they reached Heaven themselves. Honor kissed the top of her head again. Her hair smelled so sweet. “Can I tell you a secret? One most kids don’t know?”
“Yeah.”
“Life is really hard sometimes. Sad things happen. If you’re lucky, you don’t know about that until you’re older than six. But people like you and me and Zane and Lavonne, we’re built strong enough to handle whatever comes our way.”
“We are?”
“Yes, we’re tough as tough comes.”
“I don’t feel tough,” Jubie said.
“Well, you don’t know it until later when you look back. When you’re older, you’ll see how strong you are. You know what else? Hard things make you stronger and better and more able to help other people who are hurting. I know that doesn’t make sense right now, but when you’re older you’ll understand.” I finally understand myself. “But for now, your job is to get bigger and have fun and learn a lot of stuff at school.”
Her small shoulders shuddered. Honor held her tighter.
“Do you think you’d like to stay with us? This could be your room. We can fix it up however you like.”
“With Princess Sophia the First?”
I have no idea who that is, but sure. “Absolutely.” She made a mental list inside her head. Find out who Sophia the First is ASAP.
“You’ll go to school and learn a bunch of amazing things. And we’ll take you to the beach and have picnics. You’ll have friends and birthday parties to go to.”
“Can we really go to the beach?” Jubie asked.
Yes. Yes, we can. “Sure. We still have a few weeks before school starts. We’ll go as much as we can between now and then.”
“And have picnics?”
“With big, fat sandwiches. Do you like sandwiches?”
“I like grilled cheese sandwiches the best,” Jubie said.
“That’s my favorite too. You know who makes the best ones in the whole world?”
“No.”
“Zane. He made one for me earlier today.” Before everything had turned their world upside down. “He told me he would make them anytime I wanted, which means he’ll make them for you too.”
Jubie yawned and nestled into Honor’s chest. “Do you think we could get a kitten?”
A kitten? Thank God she hadn’t asked for a puppy. “We can totally get a kitten. Maybe two. I think they’re better in pairs.”
“Everything’s better in pairs.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
“Are you ready to go back to sleep now?” Honor asked.
“Not yet.” Jubie yawned again.
Violet had told her once not to ask children questions but to give specific instructions. Already she was messing up this parent gig. “It’s time for you to get under the covers now and go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”
Jubie obeyed without question. Honor lifted the covers, and Jubie slid inside. With her head on the fluffy pillow, she looked up at Honor. “We have to say a prayer now.”
We do?
“My mom said so.”
“All right. Do you want me to start?” Honor asked.
Jubie looked at her like she’d just committed the biggest faux pas in history. “I’m supposed to say them. Not you. They’re my prayers.”
“Right. That makes sense.” This was going to be quite the learning curve.
“Dear God, thank you for Lavonne. Thank you for this bed. Please take care of Mommy. And thank you for Honor and Zane. Amen.”
Then, she was asleep. Honor stood over her, unsure what to do with the rush of emotion that charged through her. This child was hers to take care of. She had not asked for her to come. She had no idea what she was doing. But Hugh was up there, watching. Rinny too. She had trusted Honor to take care of what she’d most cherished. Honor had lived. Rinny hadn’t. It was up to her to raise this little girl, to protect her from harm, to comfort her, to teach her the lessons Hugh had left behind.
She would do this girl justice. For Hugh. For Rinny. For the little girl she once was. The girl no one wanted. Jubie would never have to feel unwanted or unloved.
On her tiptoes, she left the room. She’d never noticed how creaky her floors were until tonight.
She came through the doorway and almost screamed. Zane was standing there. “You scared me,” she whispered.
“Sorry,” he whispered back as he motioned for her to close the door and follow him.
Back in her room, they crawled into bed. The room was dark other than a sliver of moonlight that snuck under the closed shades. Zane drew her to his chest.
“How long were you standing there?�
� she asked.
“Pretty much the whole time.”
“Did I do okay?”
“Okay? You were amazing.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said.
“You could’ve fooled me.”
“Who the heck is Sophia the First?” Honor asked.
“No idea, but I have a feeling we’re going to become well-acquainted with her. You realize you promised kittens.”
“Oh God. Kittens.”
“Two of them,” he said.
“Go to sleep.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter Seventeen
Zane
* * *
ZANE WOKE THE NEXT DAY to the sounds of laughter coming from downstairs. He lay there and watched the ceiling fan. His father was gone. Jubie had arrived. Life continued.
Dad’s gone. He couldn’t ask him for advice about being a father or how best to take care of Honor. Never again would he hear his laugh. As hard as it was to watch the mental decline, Zane hadn’t wanted this. We always want one more day.
His dad’s pain was now over. He should be grateful. Dad was in Heaven, dancing with Mae. It wasn’t for the dead he grieved, but for himself. I need you, Dad. Now more than ever. Give me guidance. Tell me how to do this half as well as you did.
Get out of bed. Help Lavonne find a place to live and a job. Help Honor find some kittens.
He obeyed his father’s voice, as he’d done all his life. First, he called Old Man Cooper and asked about the room. It was still for rent. He’d need first and last month’s rent, plus a deposit. The money made Zane’s chest tighten until he remembered. No more rent for Dad.
“No problem. I’ll write you a check later today, if you wouldn’t mind coming by the bar to pick it up.”
Cooper agreed, and they signed off. He called Kyle next and asked if he’d meet him down at The Oar later. They agreed on noon and hung up.
He found Honor at the cooktop flipping pancakes. Jubie was setting the table. The knives and forks were on the wrong sides. If she was going to be the daughter of a restaurant owner, he’d have to teach her the right way. Lavonne was out on the patio, facing the view, his thin shoulders hunched. The scent of freshly squeezed orange juice and fried bacon filled the kitchen. He knew this smell. It was the smell of the Waller’s kitchen when he was a kid. Lily Waller had made one heck of a breakfast. There was always enough for him, the interloper.
He and Honor—always the invited guest to someone else’s family. Now they could make their own.
Jubie spotted him first. She flashed a shy smile. “Hi, Zane.”
“Good morning, Princess Jubie.” He picked her up and planted a kiss on her forehead. “You’re looking especially pretty this morning.”
“Honor fixed my hair. It had a lot of tangles.”
He set her down and made a thing of having her turn around in a circle, so he could inspect her hair from all angles. Honor had parted Jubie’s hair into two sections and made braids, then pinned them to the top of her head. He might have to learn how to do this. When Honor traveled for work, he might be on morning duty.
Jubie went back to her task. He crossed the kitchen to plant a kiss on the back of Honor’s neck. She giggled and waved the spatula in the air. “Don’t distract me. I’ll burn the pancakes.”
He pressed against her backside and whispered in her ear. “I’ll take a raincheck then.”
She sighed and leaned her head back to look up at him. He stole a quick kiss.
The silver dollar cakes were surprisingly round and even. “I didn’t know you knew how to make pancakes,” he said. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
“I learned when I lived at the Akers’. I was in charge of breakfast. For ten of us. This is nothing.”
“You’ve never told me that.” There were so many stories still to share. He worried that most of Honor’s were sad ones.
“I never think about them.” Honor scooped pancakes onto a platter next to the stovetop. “I can’t remember much, other than how to make breakfast.”
He snatched a piece of bacon as Lavonne came in from the patio.
“Morning, Lavonne. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, sir. Mighty fine bed.” Lavonne put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “Anything I can do to help?”
“No, we’re ready to eat,” Honor said.
Minutes later, they were all at the table passing around food. Honor beamed as she looked around the table. “I never thought I’d have so many people around my table at once. Eat up.”
After a few bites of his breakfast, Zane addressed Lavonne. “Lavonne, how would you feel about sticking around for a while? My buddy Kyle’s opening a resort in a few weeks and he could use some help.”
“I’d be most happy to do any kind of work you could find, yes indeed,” Lavonne said.
“I also found you a small place to rent,” Zane said.
“You did?” Honor asked. “So fast?”
“Old Man Cooper still had Kara’s room available.” Zane turned back to Lavonne. “I’ll take care of first and last and the deposit and all. You can pay me back when you can.”
“Why would you do this for me?” Lavonne asked.
My father told me to.
“Any friend of Honor’s is a friend of mine,” Zane said. “And everyone needs a favor occasionally.”
“And, we thought it would be good for Jubie to have you stay in town,” Honor said. “You’d like Lavonne to stay close, wouldn’t you?”
“I sure would. Lavonne, Honor said I could have a kitten.”
“She did?” Lavonne asked.
“Two,” Jubie said.
“We couldn’t have cats in our apartment. Jubie always wanted one,” Lavonne said.
“I’m not sure where to find cats, so we’ll have to do a little research today. We might not be able to find them right away,” Honor said.
Next, they chatted about plans for the day, like a regular family. Zane was needed at The Oar. Honor had piles of work to do from her home office. Lavonne offered to clean the dishes and finish laundry and look after Jubie. He would meet up with Zane later to get the key to his new apartment.
When Zane left for the restaurant, a bodyguard remained at his post near the front door.
How long would this have to go on? Already the threat seemed null. Maybe there was nothing to worry about. If they could just locate Gorham, they could go back to their ordinary lives.
Well, as ordinary as it got around here.
Zane poured Kyle a cup of coffee at the counter in the bar. Old Man Cooper had already come by with keys for Lavonne and collected the check with an avaricious glitter in his eyes. As he stuffed the check into his pants pocket, Cooper had made sure to get one last jab in about Kara. “That girl left me in the lurch. Not that she cares now she’s married to Fancy Pants.”
Fancy Pants. Zane couldn’t wait to share that one with Brody. “Thank you, Mr. Cooper. I’ll be sure let you know if we need anything repaired. He plans on moving in right away.”
Kyle drank his coffee while Zane cut lemons and told his friend about the appearance of Jubie.
“You can’t keep her,” Kyle said. “It’s insane.”
“We’re keeping her. We have to.”
“But what about Honor’s career? She can’t be saddled with a kid.”
“Welcome to the modern age. Women can have jobs and kids,” Zane said.
“But this kid has nothing to do with you guys.”
“She does, though.” He chopped a lemon in half so hard his knife made a mark in the wood board. Kyle could be the biggest jerk on the planet.
“How?” Kyle asked.
“Because she’s six years old and all alone. Just like Honor was when she was that age. She’s a kid without a mother, just like Honor and me.”
“Is this because Honor can’t have kids?”
“No, it has nothing to do with it. Even if she could, we couldn’t send Jubie away. This
is fate or something. She needs us.”
“Honor Sullivan with a kid. Can’t picture it,” Kyle said.
“She’s a lot more than you know,” Zane said.
“I’ll let it go, but if I never see you again, have a nice life.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“People with kids disappear,” Kyle said.
“Violet has a kid.”
“I wish she’d disappear.”
“What is it with you today? You’re in a foul mood,” Zane said. “Did something happen?”
“I’m bummed about your dad,” Kyle said. “I don’t know why you’re not. Instead, you’re worried about some kid you don’t even know.”
Zane let out a long breath. “I’m bummed too. But doing this seems like an homage to him. Like it’s not a coincidence that it happened the day he passed.”
“It is something he would do,” Kyle said.
“He did it for Honor.”
“Hardly the same. She was grown with her own house.”
“It’s not to her,” Zane said.
“How are you going to open a new business with a kid by your side?” Kyle asked.
“People do it. I have Sophie to help me now.”
“If this is what you want, I support you. Even if I think it’s crazy.”
They chatted about when to have his dad’s memorial and decided to wait until after Maggie and Jackson were back from their honeymoon. After that, they talked for a few minutes about plans for the brewery. Kyle agreed to handle the real estate transactions and set up an LLC for the three of them to become partners. When that was settled, Zane took in a deep breath. He hated what he had to do, but there was no way around it.
“It hurts to ask, but need I need to borrow some money,” Zane said.
“How much?” Kyle could be irritating, but he was also the best friend a guy could ask for.
“I want to buy Honor a ring. It has to be a good one, not some crappy thing I could afford. I’ll pay you back. Every cent.”
“You find her the best ring in the state of California,” Kyle said. “It has to sparkle as bright as Honor.”
“There’s no such ring.”
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