As Collin walked through the door, he grabbed me and pulled me into the hallway. He spun me up against the wall and planted his hands on my hips.
“I’ll miss you,” I whispered so Abbie wouldn’t hear.
Collin locked his lips on mine and kissed me hard, turning my legs to mush and leaving me wondering how I would be able to stay standing once he let go of me.
He broke the kiss and stroked my cheek, a half-smile on his face.
“Later, babe,” he said and walked away.
It took me several deep breaths before I was able to walk back into my apartment and make two cups of chamomile tea.
* * *
On Thursday morning, Abbie was still sleeping on my sofa, however, I didn’t hear from her Thursday night, and, though it worried me a little, I chose to believe she’d gone back to Jay.
On Friday, she came bursting back into my apartment, a wreck of tears. I sat her back down on the sofa and made her a cup of chamomile tea.
“What am I going to do? I can’t live on your couch.” I passed her another Kleenex.
“Of course you can. I will help you any way I can. You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I don’t know how long until I can get back into my condo. I have to get the tenants out first, I don’t know how long that will be.”
“It doesn’t matter. Stop worrying about that.”
Maybe she could live here, and I could stay with Collin at the Four Seasons. It’s a bigger space there anyway, I was surprised he could handle my little one-bedroom apartment.
But that was a medium-term solution. She was too much of an emotional mess for me to leave right now. Assuming she didn’t go back to Jay.
* * *
I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Instead, I sat at work staring at my computer screen but not seeing it.
Abbie cried on my shoulder every night for going on three weeks. I’d barely seen Collin. We met up a couple of times for lunch, but it’s just not the same. You cannot be ravaged in a diner.
Was it time to suggest she live in my apartment while she got the tenants out of her condo, and that I go stay with Collin?
I missed seeing him so much I could barely hold myself together. The pain of not seeing him was too reminiscent of the pain from when he stopped emailing me.
I had my phone in my hand, about to text Collin when one came through from Abbie.
With Jay, everything good. Thanks for your love!!!!
My heart leapt with joy, as much for her as for me. Even more for me, if I’m honest but the realization flooded me with guilt.
Guess what? Abbie back with Jay, my sofa has been vacated!
The excitement of seeing him again had my heart leaping.
Thank fuck
His text made me laugh.
Are you coming over?
I half expected him to be waiting for me when I got home.
My mother’s face popped up on my phone as it rang. I spoke to my mother every day, but not until nearly bedtime and it was only four in the afternoon. And without exception I always phoned her. It set my nerves on edge.
“Hi, Mom.” I tried to sound cheery and not worried.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Everything okay?”
“Everything’s great. We got the test results back early and guess what?” The happiness in her voice spilled over into my body.
“What?”
“The tumor shrunk, and he thinks they’re going to be able to keep shrinking it with the drug cocktail.”
“Oh my God, Mom. That is amazing.” Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as relief flooded through me.
“I know. I had to tell you straight away.” The happiness in her voice overwhelmed me.
“I’m so relieved, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetie. But honestly, you should thank Collin for me. I owe him my life. It’s the greatest gift imaginable.”
“You’ll be happy to hear we are back in a relationship. He’s been living here with me.”
“Just when I thought today couldn’t get any better. I’m so happy for you, sweetie. It’s the best news.”
We talked for twenty more minutes, until my co-workers Dan and Belinda started giving me looks and I ended our conversation.
“Sorry, guys. That was my mom. Her cancer’s been contained. The doctor thinks the treatment has bought her a lot more time.”
“That’s amazing news. I’m so glad to hear it,” Belinda said.
“Really happy for you, Jenny,” Dan said.
“Thanks, guys.”
I turned back to my computer but still didn’t look at the screen. Instead I couldn’t stop wondering why Collin still hadn’t texted me back.
Guess what? My mom’s treatment was successful!!!!!
I kept my phone in my hand, expecting him to text back straight away. Maybe I should’ve phoned him and told him over the phone.
Amazing babe, best news ever
Are you coming to mine tonight?
I stared at my screen for an uncomfortable amount of time, waiting for a response.
My heart sank as it became obvious one wasn’t coming.
Collin???
I couldn’t drop this. Not now. It reminded me too much of the way he’d blanked me all those years ago.
I’ll speak to you soon.
How should I interpret that?
Collin
I reread the email from Daniel for the umpteenth time. He’d first told me the news over the phone, but I had him put it in writing. It was almost as if it wasn’t real unless I saw it in print.
Late yesterday afternoon the nanny went looking for Raylene when she hadn’t appeared downstairs, and found her unresponsive in bed. She phoned for an ambulance, but Raylene was already dead. An autopsy will be done but the assumption is she choked on her own vomit. I will make all the arrangements regarding Raylene. You need to get yourself to Honolulu as soon as possible to sort out Harlan.
What could I do? Jenny kept texting me with wonderful news about her mother and Abbie, and I didn’t know how to tell her about my own news.
Not that I thought it was wonderful. I didn’t want my son not to have a mother. I mean, I didn’t want him to have any contact with her because she was so spectacularly disinterested in his well-being, but I wanted him to have the ability to have her if he later decided that’s what he wanted.
For all the time Abbie had been sleeping on Jenny’s couch, stopping me from seeing her, I’d been desperate to see her. And now she’s texting me wanting me to come see her and I don’t know how in fuck I can.
How could I begin to explain my situation to her? I knew better than to pull her into my fucked-up life, and I’ve gone and done it anyway.
But right now, after nearly three weeks, my desire to get Jenny in my arms was greater than any urge I’ve ever known.
Babe, I’m picking you up and taking you on that vacation you promised me
Something told me I was going to regret this, but it was the only thing I could think of to do.
When?
An hour, tell them you won’t be in next week
If she didn’t go for this, I was going to have to take her anyway. I could send her home Sunday if she wanted to get to work that bad.
Let me try
A huge rush of relief washed over me as I read her text. I needed her to get through this.
I didn’t feel anything, I’m sure that’s wrong. I was married to her. It seems so cold. But she was practically a stranger to me. One I happened to share a child with. One who happened to be trying to extort money from me.
We’d slept in the same bed for three nights. After that, I cleared out to the other side of the house.
Each day her belly grew larger, I drank less. Raylene, on the other hand, drank more.
When the baby was born, she took no interest in him. Thank God for the nanny, she gave Harlan the maternal love his mother denied him.
I spent every second I could w
ith Harlan. My chest burst with a type of love I didn’t know existed.
But as long as I was in the house, Raylene got worse. The violence she unleashed on me spilled over to the nanny. We decided that she was too big of a risk, and that her destructive behavior could easily spill over onto Harlan.
It was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. Chicago seemed like the only option to me. I’d open a new club and make it my flagship location. I’d settle in the city for good, and give Harlan a stable home to grow up in. Ideally in Jenny’s arms.
Daniel assured me it would only take a few short weeks to finalize everything. And here we are how many months later? Raylene put up a fight to the end. A fight for the most money her son and photos would fetch.
Good news, next week booked off, leaving the office now!!!!!!!
Excellent, can’t wait
Now I just had to figure out how to tell her.
Jenny
“Baby, you remember my right-hand man, Blake?”
“Hi,” I said to the towering man.
Blake took up the whole sofa Collin and I shared on the way to Houston. Collin and I sat facing each other in insanely comfortable leather reclining seats.
“He’s coming with me for work.”
My face fell. “Are you going to Hawaii for work?”
“No, no. I have a few personal things to sort out. Blake is taking care of the work”
“As long as I can relax on the beach,” I said with a creased brow.
I thought this was supposed to be about the two of us taking a vacation together. What was this personal thing? I was about to ask when the jet started speeding down the runway and hurtled into the air.
Chicago grew smaller underneath us, and I kept my head glued to the window until the familiar landmarks were too small to make out.
Steph, the flight attendant, appeared once we’d leveled off, with drinks and hors d’oeuvres.
“Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes,” she said setting a plate of bruschetta on the table between Collin and me.
“Great, Steph, thanks.” Collin’s voice didn’t have its normal tone. It seemed like a dark edge crept into it.
“So, what’s the personal stuff you have to sort out?”
“Can we have dinner first?”
Collin shifted in his seat and looked over to Blake.
I could be mistaken, but Blake seemed to be an angry man. He hadn’t said anything since I’d stepped onboard. Not even hello. He sent off a ‘don’t mess with me’ vibe, which I suppose made sense since he works in nightclubs, but this is his private life, why not relax?
“Fine. But I don’t like this feeling that you’re hiding something.”
Collin bit off a large mouthful of bruschetta and chewed. Blake had finished all his bruschetta already and Steph brought him another plate of it.
Collin didn’t attempt any conversation.
The tension in the air on the plane was thick enough to cut with my knife. To cope, I took my phone out and flicked through my apps. For a moment I considered playing Candy Crush, a game I’d weaned myself off two years ago, but Steph arrived with our dinner just in time.
Delicious smelling chicken Alfredo filled the air with garlic.
“Here you go,” Steph said setting my plate in front of me.
“Thanks, Steph. It smells delicious,” I said, glad to have spoken to someone, anyone to break the mood.
The three of us ate our meal in silence, my mind spinning the entire time of whatever Collin didn’t want to tell me. Was he moving back to Honolulu? Was he coming to sort out a house?
* * *
Silence hung over us all the way through the passion fruit cheesecake dessert. At long last, Steph came and cleared away the last of the plates, ending the hour and a half of torture.
I cleared my throat and said, “Dinner’s finished. Are you going to tell me now?”
Collin collapsed the table between us, folding it into a clever compartment hidden in the wall of the plane. He perched on his seat and reached across to take my hands in his.
While I waited for him to speak, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to know or not. Everything had been going so well between us, and I panicked it was all about to end.
“I… I have no idea how to tell you this.” He shifted his eyes to mine. “Someone died.”
“What? Oh my God, that’s terrible. Who?”
Collin wagged his head in a half nod, half shake. He squeezed my hands, so tightly it hurt but I didn’t stop him, I wanted him to talk.
“My wife.”
“What? You’re married?” My heart raced, as I tried to sort through my confusion.
“Separated. We were separated.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?” I pulled my hands from his and gripped the tops of my arms.
“I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“So if she hadn’t died, would you’ve told me?” I looked around the plane, searching for escape when one was impossible. Blake stared at us, the same angry look on his face.
“Yes. Definitely. I’ve been trying to finalize the divorce.”
“I see. When was that going to be?”
“She held things up. It should’ve been done by now, before you and I ever got back together.”
I nodded, not sure how to react or what to think. In all the times I asked him what he’d done over the past seven years, he never once said anything about a serious relationship, let alone getting married.
I flopped back in my chair, conscious of Blake’s eyes on me. How could we have such an intimate conversation with an audience? A great, big, angry one.
“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. That was wrong. You deserved to know.”
I bit my bottom lip and nodded, still trying to absorb the information.
“I can’t believe you never told me you’re married.”
“Was. I was married.”
“Right, you’re a widower now. I’m sorry for your loss.”
The color drained from Collin’s face. Perhaps I was giving him too hard a time. After all, the guy’s wife just died. His fucking wife. And he was telling me on a plane on the way to deal with the dead body. I swallowed my outrage to keep some control in front of Blake.
“Baby, it might sound harsh, but she meant nothing to me, I never liked her. Not for one day.”
“Then why did you marry her?”
Collin sat back in his seat, and glanced at Blake. His eyes found mine again, a renewed heat in them. “I hated her. I’ve always hated her. She’s a horrible person. Was a horrible person.”
“So you’re glad she’s dead?” My voice betrayed my disgust that anyone would ever be glad over another human’s death.
“No. Not at all. I didn’t want her to die. All I ever wanted was for her to leave me alone.”
The silence resumed, Collin and I both stuck in our thoughts. As for Blake, I had no idea what went on in Blake’s head, or why he didn’t seem to feel the least bit awkward at watching the exchange between Collin and me.
After a few minutes I asked, “Sounds like you really hated her.”
“I did. She was a truly awful excuse for a human being.”
“Why?”
“Huh?”
“Why did you marry such a horrible person?”
Collin
How do I explain this mess to Jenny without sounding like an asshole myself?
“Honor,” I said.
She burst out laughing, a ruckus laugh that prevented her from speaking.
My leg jiggled, waiting for her to stop and say something. I’m scared as hell I’m going to lose her for this. And if I don’t, I’ll lose her over Harlan.
She wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and said, “Did you just say honor? For real?”
“Yeah, baby, I did.” My cheeks warmed with embarrassment and shame.
“Honor because…”
I closed my eyes and muttered, “She was pregnant.”
&nbs
p; “Pregnant! You have a child?”
I nodded.
“Are you fucking serious? You have a fucking child and you didn’t tell me? During any of the conversations we had about what we’d been up to since we’d last seen each other? You didn’t think it was worth mentioning?”
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
“Why would you lose me if you had a child? What decade do you think we live in?”
“I’m sorry, baby. I really am.”
“Sorry because you have a child, or because you lied to me?”
“Both.” I wanted a child with Jenny. A perfect life with her.
“This child. Do you hate it as much as you hated her?”
“No, baby, it’s not like that. My son, Harlan, he’s the reason I stopped drinking.”
“Now you tell me. Didn’t we sit on this very plane and I asked you why you stopped drinking?”
Fuck, I fucked this up. “You’re right, I should’ve told you then.”
“Harlan, huh. Do you have much to do with him?”
“I’ve been trying to get custody. She’s been using him to get more money in the settlement.”
Jenny’s face didn’t betray what she was thinking. I thought I knew her so well, could read her so well, but right now she was a blank.
“Do you want to see some photos of him?” I pulled out my phone and flicked into the album.
We each leaned forward in our seats and I held out my phone for her to see. Her hand wrapped around mine as she tilted the screen to see. Not wanting to lose the warmth of her hand, I didn’t let go.
As Jenny tapped through the photos, she flicked her eyes back and forth between the screen and my face. Occasionally she looked over to Blake.
“He’s adorable,” she finally said.
“That smile’s enough to melt the heart of a guy like me.”
Jenny looked into my eyes and smiled, a smile that flickered across my heart and made me think maybe everything would be okay. I couldn’t wait to see Harlan in her arms.
“Is that her?” Jenny pointed to the photo of Raylene holding Harlan.
Billionaire's Secret: The Complete Series Page 44
