Katelyn threw aside the sheets as well. Her face flamed hot with embarrassment and guilt as she gathered up her own rumpled clothing and slipped into it. She had planned on returning to her house late, after… well, after she and Kian were- done. Poor Missy must be starving by now. She knew that the cat probably still had a full bowl of crunchies, given that she never touched the damn things, but she still felt guilty. She hadn’t gone home the night before. She hadn’t been responsible.
No. She’d been at Kian’s. Tangled up with him…
She cut off the images of all they’d done the night before. She had to if she wanted to stay sane. She could already feel the rush of answering heat rising inside of her, the shivers and the twinges, as though they hadn’t just spent the better part of the night before sating their hunger.
When it comes to him will my desire ever truly be sated? She didn’t think so and that realization the most frightening, wild sense of panic.
Katelyn rushed down the hall and stopped dead when she came up to the living room. Kian was seated on the couch across from a woman. A blonde with long, beautiful hair. She giggled softly and leaned in towards him, clearly flirting, at home, in her element.
She moved, trying to beat it back to the bedroom, to the kitchen, to the front door, anywhere but there. As she did, the floor creaked and both Kian and the woman turned to stare at her. The intruder was young. Probably not older than her early twenties. She wore tight jeans a little pink halter top that showed off the tops of her ample breasts, her flat stomach and killer curves. Her lips were full and pink, her cheekbones high, her jawline carved. She looked like a damn model. The surprise in her eyes turned to immediate jealousy. The possessive flare in the woman’s dark brown eyes left little doubt as to what Kian meant to her.
Katelyn was sure right then, that moment, the whole walk of shame that shouldn’t have been a walk of shame, was the most embarrassing, mortifying moment of her life. “I’m- uh- just going to let myself out,” she mumbled. She barely managed to stop herself from adding on an angry, thanks for last night.
She reached the front door, slipped on her flip flops and took off. Thankfully she managed to make it down the front steps without landing on her face. Her body thrummed with anger. Hot tears stabbed at the corners of her eyes and clogged her throat. She barely made it into her own condo before they coursed down her cheeks.
Thankfully Missy came running, meowing eagerly and rubbing her body against Katelyn’s bare leg. “Hello, sweetheart,” Katelyn crooned. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep and didn’t come home last night. Don’t worry, it will never happen again. Never.”
Missy meowed at her before she resumed the passionate rubbing. Katelyn reached down and scratched Missy’s back and a hard burst of purring greeted her. Some of her anger evaporated at the gentle, sweet caresses she gave her old cat. Missy had that effect on her. She was instantly calmed. Her breath came in short, shaky bursts, but it was already evening out.
“How about some salmon?” Missy stared at her with wide, unblinking blue eyes. “I know, a special treat to make up for the fact I missed your dinner last night!”
The cat followed her eagerly into the kitchen. Sure enough, the bowl of crunchies was untouched. It only took Katelyn a minute to make up a small dish of salmon. She put in the medicine that she hadn’t been home to administer the night before. It only made her feel worse, the fact that she’d neglected the one spirit who was always there for her. Missy might just be a cat, but she was so much more than that. She was Katelyn’s best friend. She depended on her and in return, she gave the purest unconditional love.
Unlike the man she thought she could trust. God, she’d given him her body. She’d opened her heart and let him in. Twice. Each time it felt like she lost a little bit of herself, like she gave that part to him. She wanted to. She wanted to give it and hadn’t wanted to take it back.
Until that woman. That woman who sat on his couch like she had a right to be there. Whose eyes sparkled for him. Whoever she was, she obviously had a past with Kian. A past that wasn’t quite over.
And he’d told her that he hadn’t been with anyone since that horrible accident. What a load of bullshit. Her heart broke for him when he’d told her about it. She couldn’t imagine the sorrow, the pain… was any of it even real? She doubted it. He’d played her because that’s what guys did. All men were the same. They were liars, cheats. They said what they wanted and took what wanted. He’d tricked her, played her, and that felt worse than anything.
After John she thought she’d never make that mistake again and here she was, still sore from having spent the night with a man who was no different when it came down to it.
The chime of the doorbell rang, startling her. Katelyn hedged. Her eyes whipped around the kitchen. It didn’t take a whole lot of imagination to figure out who was standing there. Kian. Out there, probably ready to feed her more lies.
Was he fucking both of them at once?
Katelyn’s hands balled into furious fists at her sides. She wanted to march to the door, throw it open and plant one of them right into Kian’s face.
She didn’t move. The doorbell rang again. Her feet refused to move. There was no way she was ever letting that man, or any man, step foot inside her house again.
Which would have worked, had she not forgotten that she hadn’t locked the door.
Chapter 20
Lies
Kian
When the doorbell pulled him from sleep that morning and he realized Katelyn was still there next to him, that they’d fallen asleep together and remained that way, his first desire was to get up and make them a cup of coffee. Maybe toast.
It had been four long years since he’d eaten breakfast. His desire for the simple domestic act astounded him. He wanted to brew a pot of coffee and drink it with Katelyn. He wanted to sit next to her and take in the musky scent of her fresh from a long sleep. He wanted to sit and stare at her tousled, knotted hair, her sleep filled eyes with the dark smudges beneath, her cheek with the sheet crease on it… he wanted it all.
What he didn’t want was to be alone. It was odd, considering how hard he’d worked towards it for so long. He’d shut himself down. Isolated himself. Blocked off and cut off the good parts of himself. Then he’d met her and in a week she’d undone most of the damage he’d done to himself. She couldn’t undo the grief, but she made him want to be more than what he was. For her.
He’d felt that way back at the shop without knowing it. After he’d chased her away, he knew it was one of the worst mistakes of his current life. That panic, hard and crushing, drove him forward. He didn’t exactly know what it was, but he knew now.
Which made her walking out that front door even harder to bear. Of all the mornings Savannah could have picked to come have a chat about her break up with Mike and how much she missed him, she’d had to pick that one. He’d sent her on his way as quickly as he could, promising to meet with her later. After Katelyn walked into the room, Savannah pretty much clammed up anyway. He’d managed to hurt both of them without trying to at all. He must have a talent for it.
Kian stepped up onto Katelyn’s front and rang her doorbell, intent on explaining. He closed his eyes and waited. The image of Crystal’s face swam behind closed eyes. She wasn’t lifeless this time, as she always was. No, he remembered her the way she was alive. Laughing, chasing their son around the back yard, blowing out candles with him on his birthday cake when he couldn’t quite get them all, cheering him on at his first t-ball game. He saw the sparkle of her eyes on their wedding day, the way her face lit up when she told him she was pregnant. God, she’d scared the hell out of him that day. Bringing a life into the world was a huge responsibility.
One he’d give anything to have back.
“Please answer the door.” His whispered words hung in the air.
His hand balled into a fist at his side. He waited for Katelyn to open the damn door. He wanted to step inside her house and lose himself in her eyes,
her hands, the way she touched him, cleansed him, healed him without even knowing she was doing it. It was astounding to believe someone who had been in his life for so short an amount of time was the one who could finally get through to him. She cut through layers and layers of hardness and pain, right to his heart, like she’d known him for decades. He craved her easy love, her sweet peace that she still had, even after she’d been hurt. He thought he was being strong by shutting down and shutting everyone and everything out. What a load of bullshit. She was the strong one. It took a person of steel to feel everything and come through the other side with a gentle spirit.
“Okay. You’re not going to open the door.” It figured. He’d seen the look of devastated betrayal in her eyes right before she’d slipped out of his house. He didn’t truly want to do it, to invade her privacy, but he had to. He couldn’t stay away.
He reached out and gripped the cool metal door handle. His large bulk cast a shadow across the door as he pushed it open. How apt.
“Katelyn?” He called her name, not wanting to alarm her. He’d already done enough damage.
She appeared in the short hall, eyes wild, all the tenderness and yearning he’d seen the night before banished. “Get out. You have no right to come in here.”
“I wanted to explain. Please, just hear me out.”
Her head whipped back and forth wildly. “No. There isn’t anything you can say.”
Kian took a deep breath to dispense the rising sense of injustice that stirred his anger. He reminded himself that she’d only known him a week. Of course it was natural that she only think the worst. “She’s my business partner’s daughter. She’s dating a guy at the shop. He’s a good friend and she wanted to talk to me about it. I’ve known her since she was fourteen. Her father and I are quite close. She wanted to get some perspective.”
“At five in the fucking morning?”
He actually liked the way she cursed. It only added to the fiery personality he’d guessed at. “She works at seven so she needed to come early.”
“She couldn’t have come after?”
“I’m not the easiest guy to track down. I’m usually at the shop until late and sometimes I- disappear after. Go for a drink or whatever. She’s come early before, to deliver messages from her father. Invites to dinner and what not…”
“What’s wrong with a phone?”
“Her father doesn’t exactly work that way.”
“Why? What is it you’re partners in together?” She sneered like she already knew the answer. Her palm raised up, front facing out. “Wait. Don’t answer that. I don’t even want to know. I can only imagine-”
“We own a club. I’m a silent partner. It’s an investment.”
“What kind of club? A strip club? With drugged up girls and even worse clients?”
The thought stung. He knew she was angry, but her accusations cut him. “Of course not. It’s a legit club, the kind anyone would go out to on a Friday night.”
She shook her head again. Her lips thinned out into a hard line. She wrapped her arms around her chest, bracing herself against him. “Liar. I don’t have any faith in anything you say. I looked you up. Did you know that? I couldn’t find anything about you owning a club.”
“Because silent partners are silent.”
“No, because you’re full of shit. You know what, I don’t actually care who that woman was or what she means to you. I could tell from the look on her face that it’s more than what you’re letting on. She looked at me like I was the intruder. Like it was me who was stealing you away from her. You said I was the only one you’d been with all these years… what a joke! Do you tell that sob story to every single woman you meet? Is that how you get them to sleep with you? I should never have believed a thing you ever said.” He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “No. just go. You’re a liar. I can’t believe I actually fell for your bullshit. It must be really funny, to find someone like me, someone you can already tell is vulnerable and is easy prey and swoop in. If you just wanted to fuck me, you could have said that.”
A stabbing pain ripped through his chest, threatening to tear him apart at the seams. He’d told her about the accident because he’d tried to get her to understand. He never expected she’d use it against him, or worst of all, not believe him.
“I’m not lying,” Kian said as calmly as he could. Even he could hear the pain in his voice. Her anger and disbelief in him hurt far worse than it should after such a short period of time. “I’ve been more honest with you than I’ve been with anyone in a long time. I’ve been more honest with you than I’ve been with myself.”
“Even that is probably a lie.”
He took a deep breath and just then, right when he was about to look away, he saw the pain flicker through Katelyn’s eyes and realized she likely didn’t mean most of what she was saying. She was lashing out because she felt hurt and betrayed. Hopefully she’d come around, even if not in that moment.
“Alright. I can tell you’re not going to listen to anything else, so I’ll just go. Nothing I say is going to make you believe me right now. Please, don’t listen to what I said back at the shop. I don’t want you to stay away. I… I heard once that you should hold the people who mean something to you close. I tried that and I lost. Big time. I never wanted to do it again, until I met you.”
“Just line after line,” Katelyn huffed angrily.
“I would never betray your trust, Katelyn. Never. You have my word.” Kian swore that oath to her like it should mean something, but clearly, it fell far short.
“And that means exactly nothing,” she hissed. “Please, just go. I don’t want to see you again. You warned me to stay away and I didn’t listen. I’m the one to blame. So just go and leave me alone.”
“I’ll go,” Kian promised. His hand unclenched at his side. He stepped forward, reached out and tucked a strand of that honeyed hair tenderly behind her ear. She froze at the contact, the feather light brush of his hand. “Don’t shut down because of this. If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that feeling isn’t the hard part. Learning to let others feel for you is the most difficult. It takes a hell of a lot of honesty to get to that point.”
She took a faltering step back, her face caving in on itself, her eyes so very wounded. A shimmer of unshed tears floated on the light blue surface. She could have given him one last parting shot. He would have deserved it, at least to some degree, for being such an asshole at the shop. He’d tried to push her away and just when he was ready to let her in, whatever that actually meant, he was shut down.
It figured.
He turned slowly and let himself out the front door. Outside the sun had finally claimed its place high in the sky, chasing away the gray light of early dawn. Yes, it fucking figures. Just when everything in his life was starting to go right, something he never thought he’d say again, it all came crashing down.
Maybe he was meant to live alone. He’d thought so, after the accident. He’d made it that way for himself. He’d been content in his loneliness before. Dwelled in it, made it his home.
Just when he didn’t want to, just when he was ready to reach out and break through that mist of pain, to break the shackles that held him captive, he was thrust back there, back into that cage.
How very ironic. But then again, irony had always been his old best friend.
Chapter 21
A Horrible Silence
Katelyn
All it took was a few flicks of the wrist to mix up the paint she’d been dying to lay down on the dresser for the better part of a week. She’d been so busy with her clients that she hadn’t found time to work on the projects that had become her latest passion.
Ultimately refinishing furniture, which often found its way into her client’s homes, was a great source of income, but it was more than that. It was an artistic outlet and one of the best distractions she’d found to fill up her free time. If she wasn’t in the actual act of refinishing, which she did right in her tarped
off living room, all her furniture pushed off to one side, she was out searching for pieces to redo. It gave her a sense of pleasure like nothing had before. Bringing something old and used, worn and hopeless back to life for people to once again treasure was a privilege.
“All pink or should we try the ombre this time?” Katelyn turned to face Missy, who was perched on the edge of the couch, watching curiously. She’d pretty much stayed away from the painted furniture after she’d rubbed up against a still wet dresser and come away six shades of green. The bathing process hadn’t been pretty, but she’d been able to get most of the paint out thanks to the fact it was water based.
Missy meowed softly in response. “Right. I think all pink too.”
Katelyn was just about to pick up her brush when her phone rang. It was a muffled sound, going off from inside her purse, which she’d dumped down on the coffee table as she’d walked in the door little more than an hour before.
She set down her bottle of paint and her brush, on top of the ancient, battle scared seventies nightstand and rushed over to her purse. It was probably one of her clients calling to ask her this question or that, or someone new wanting to set up a meeting.
When she finally located her phone, Katelyn frowned at the number on the screen. She recognized it instantly as a London number. Strange. She hit the answer button without a second thought.
“Hello?”
“Hello,” a soft voice with an accent so very much like her own, echoed back. “I’m calling for Katelyn Anderson, please.”
“This is.” Some part of her body, something deep inside of herself, jammed in the center of her chest, began to tremble. It was irrational, but she couldn’t stop the feeling of impending doom.
“My name is Lila Hartford. I’m sorry to call so late.”
“It’s only eight,” Katelyn mumbled. Her mind fumbled over itself, trying to grasp where it was that the name sounded so familiar. Right. Lila Hartford. “You’re my sister’s lawyer. We came to your office years ago, after my niece was born. Dinah wanted to make sure everything was taken care of should anything ever happen to her. She was a single mom and that scared her.”
Damaged Rebel Next Door_A Neighbor Rebel Romance Page 11
