I cross my arms, unable to look at him. I need to nip this conversation in the bud. I can't let Dale know what I've been up to…even if he is thinking the worst of me right now.
"Dale," I force a gentle tone. "I know I've been callous with relationships in the past, but I would never cheat on you. I couldn't do that. Not to you."
He looks sad for a second and won't look at me. "I know. I'm sorry for even thinking it." He kicks the desk leg lightly. "I just hate the thought that you're hiding something from me. I…I like it that we can talk about everything."
My insides go all soft and mushy when he uses that voice. He's going to try and get the truth out of me. Damn it, I can feel myself folding already.
"This past week, you've been really…I don't know. Like you're trying to pull away from me or something."
I'm trying to pull away? I'm not the one begging for a spot on the East Coast. Hello.
His words bug me, though. Have I been? Was getting wrapped up in the Get Dale into Columbia mission an attempt to pull away so that when he does leave, it won't hurt so much? It was a good distraction, I have to admit, although just waiting around to hear news of his acceptance is like a whole new level of torture.
I try not to let any of this show as I walk towards him, placing my hand on his cheek. My thumb rubs over his smooth scar. "I'm not trying to hide from you." Well, not anymore anyway. I've done my part. Now I just have to wait for D-Day to arrive. Speaking of D-Day. "Have you…heard from any more colleges yet?"
He eyes me skeptically, not missing my swift topic change. His face wrinkles with a frown and he gazes down at our feet. "Still waiting." He shrugs.
There he goes again. Now who's hiding?
His silence is really getting to me. He was pretty closed-off about his weekend. What was he doing?
I'm trying to figure out how to ask him when the door swings open and a flustered teacher with an arm full of paperwork walks in. She's new this year. What's her name again?
"Kids, you shouldn't be in here during lunch. Please, this is my only free time today. Get out." In spite of the firm order, her words are said with a sweet smile.
Snatching up our bags, we make a beeline for the door and both decide to drop the inquisition. We're both hiding something. We both know it. If I don't tell him what I've been up to then maybe he shouldn't have to tell me what he's been doing. I try not to let this bug me as we make our way to lunch.
All I have to do now is trust that the wheels I set in motion will give Dale the thing he craves most. My heart quivers, wondering if I can take it.
Chapter Thirteen
I can't take it!
It's the next day and there it is again—another Columbia University letter. I can see it on Dale’s kitchen counter. Part of me wants to run to it and rip it open for him. Did it work? Did all my scheming pay off?
Another part of me, the big quivering heart part, makes me back towards the door.
"I just remembered." My shoulder hits the doorframe. "I have to…. My mom wants me home a little earlier this afternoon." I can't take my eyes off that damn envelope. I don't want to know. Either way, I don't want to know what is in that freaking thing.
Dale's watching me with a worried frown. He follows my line of sight. As soon as his eyes hit the envelope, I can't take it anymore.
"See ya." I dash out the door before he can stop me, ignoring him when he half-heartedly calls my name. He won't follow me. He's seen the letter. He's going to be opening it right now.
I stumble into my house, not even noticing if anyone's home. I don't care. I just need my room…my bed…a full box of Kleenex. My eyes are already dripping tears by the time I make it. I dump my bag on the floor then fling myself onto the bed, clutch my pillow and sob like a toddler.
I know, totally over-dramatic, but I feel like I've kind of earned this.
I haven't kicked up a serious fuss since this whole college debacle started, which is so unlike me. I think I'm entitled to a tear-fest.
My stomach starts to hurt from all the jerking, and my pillow is soon sodden. The tears have all dried up and I've got nothing left, but I still can't move. I just want to lie here. I feel exhausted, spent, and now I have to face, like, the bleakest future ever.
The space beyond this summer is an empty void.
Tears are just setting in once more when there's a soft knock on my door.
"Go away, Mom.” My voice wobbles.
"She's not here."
Dale's soft whisper makes me gasp. I spin around to face him. Crap, I probably look terrible—blotchy face, puffy eyes, snotty nose. I grab for a Kleenex and quickly mop up.
"Where…where is she?" I scrunch up my tissue and throw it towards the waste paper basket. For once, it actually gets in. I'm too depressed to celebrate or even look surprised.
Dale's eyes are dancing with amusement as he leans against the doorframe. "I'm not sure. The house is empty…except for us."
Usually, this news thrills me. Yes, an uninterrupted make-out session.
But I can't muster it today. Instead, I just stare at him, from his peaked eyebrow to the letter in his hand.
Crap. The letter.
I recognize the white envelope, and my breath catches in my throat. He taps it twice against his leg and steps further into the room.
"Nicky." He holds the letter up. "What did you do?"
"What do you mean?" I swipe my hand across my cheek then look to my rumpled bed cover. The silence that follows is torture, and I’m forced to glance up at him moments later.
He gives me a dry look and unfolds the letter. He clears his throat then reads, "Due to a reassessment of your application, Columbia University is pleased to inform you that you have been accepted."
My heart trips. I don't know whether to feel elation or deflation. I kind of feel both. My lips twitch with a grin in spite of the deflation factor. "Why do you think I had anything to do with it?"
"Nicky, I know it was you." He perches on the edge of my bed, facing the wall, his elbows propped on his knees. He glances at me over his shoulder then shakes his head. "I know your powers of persuasion are nearly unbeatable, but seriously, what did you do?"
I roll towards him and run my finger down his back. "I…maybe had a chat with the sheriff."
"A chat?" He swivels to face me, his knee touching my stomach.
"Or maybe I blackmailed him a little bit." I wince.
"What?” Dale’s eyes round and his mouth drops open.
"I just asked him if he'd make a call and give you a really good reference, that's all. It worked, didn't it? With some help from the mayor, as well," I mumble.
Dale blinks slowly. His face scrunches with confusion then finally settles on understanding. "The mayor." He shakes his head with a smile I don't understand. I'm about to ask him when he keeps talking, "Nicky, what the hell have you been up to? Is…is this why the sheriff resigned?"
"No…well…I mean yes." I grab Dale's fingers, trying to take that shocked look off his face. "I had no choice. I had to get Adam involved and then he got all noble and went and confessed everything to the mayor. I didn't intend for it to go that far. I just…I know how much you wanted Columbia and how you didn't want to disappoint your dad and stuff."
Dale's voice is soft, laced with a touch of fear. "Nicky, that could have been really bad."
I didn't want to tell him that it nearly was bad...very bad. I swallow and prop myself up on my elbow. I let go of Dale's hand and run my fingers up his arm, loving the curve of his bicep. I wriggle my fingers beneath the fabric of his T-shirt, trying to memorize it.
A breath puffs out his nose as he looks at the letter, slightly perplexed. "Why would you go to all this effort for me?"
"Because…" I drop back on my pillow and stare at the ceiling, unable to look at him. "You…you're amazing and talented and good, and you deserve the world, Dale." I turn to him, my voice trembling. "I want you to have everything your heart desires."
His expression go
es all mushy, his eyes dancing with a tenderness beyond anything I've seen before. His lips stretch with a gentle smile as he drops the letter to the floor and gets on the bed, lying down beside me. The length of his body presses against mine. I love the way we fit so perfectly next to each other, like a jigsaw puzzle.
His head is propped on his hand so he can look down at me. Running his fingers over my face, he leans towards me. His lips are exquisite as they touch mine for a brief kiss. "You know what I want most in this world?"
Columbia? New York City?
Both thoughts make me want to cry, and I hate myself. I can't believe I gave him his dream. I'm such a fool.
I shrug and look away from him.
Gripping my chin, he gently nudges me back to face him. His eyes lock onto mine, and I can't let go. "You, Nicky. I want you."
"What?" I can't help sounding stupid. What is he saying to me right now?
With a soft chuckle, he runs his thumb over my open mouth. "I want to be near you." He kisses my lips then my cheek, and then rests his lips against my ear. "Which is why I finally told my dad about Columbia."
"What'd he say?" Worry surges through me.
Dale's face crests with a very small frown and he shrugs. "He was disappointed at first, but then we talked it through, and he saw where I was coming from. He understood that my dreams have changed."
"What do you mean?" I whisper, a fleeting hope stealing the strength from my voice.
"I mean I've decided to attend UCLA."
I'm sure I look like a psycho killer from a horror movie with my big puffy eyes and my dumbstruck expression. "You got into UCLA?"
He grins. "I found out yesterday."
I slap him on the chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were applying there? I thought you wanted an East Coast school."
I love the way he always laughs when I'm mad…well, sort of love it. He's chuckling as he grabs my wrist so I can't hit him again. "It was a last-minute decision." He rubs his thumb into the palm of my hand. "I…I was trying to avoid LA, because of my past. I know it's a massive city, but I just didn't want to bump into anyone I once knew." Shaking his head, he grimaces then looks at me. "I've been tortured ever since not getting into Columbia. I felt like it was a sign, but I didn't know what to do. Every East Coast school I applied for rejected me, but UCLA took me straight away."
I look to the ceiling and shake my head. "So, all my stress was for nothing?"
"Don't blame me. You didn't tell me what you were up to." He sounds just a touch annoyed.
"Neither did you," I mutter, slumping back down on my pillow.
Dale sighs and runs his finger beneath my long bangs, tucking them behind my ear. "I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't come through. Even when I got the interview, I still didn't want to pin my hopes on anything."
I glide my fingers over his forearm. "The interview?"
"Yeah, that's where I went this weekend. It's funny, just before I left, I got a call from the mayor offering to write a referral for me, for whatever school I wanted. I was too happy to figure out why he just randomly called me." His grin is delicious as he traces my jawline with his index finger. “I guess I know now."
I don't know what to say. I can't even think straight. UCLA. As in the University of Cali-frickin-fornia, Los Angeles—just down the hill. I'm speechless. My mouth opens and closes for a minute, and then I blink like I'm in some kind of trance and say, "So, no Columbia then?"
Dale blushes. "No Columbia." He grins. "The thought of being that far from you was killing me. UCLA's like a two-hour drive away. I can come home for weekends, or you can come visit. We'll be in the same time zone. It'll be—"
I grab his face and kiss him. It's all I can do. He probably feels like I'm mauling him, but saying thank you just won't cut it. He's not leaving me. He's chosen a school that's close by. He wants to stay with me. He wants to be near me.
The space beyond this moment is now blooming with hope and promise.
Dale’s shoulders shake with mirth as I hold his face and kiss him senseless. His muffled humor soon changes to a pleasant moan. His hand slides up my leg and over my butt, his fingers finding their way beneath my shirt. They glide over my belly, sending sparks of pleasure skittering through my entire body. I wrap my good leg around him, pulling him on top of me. I love the weight of his body, protecting me, loving me. I could stay like this forever.
The world around us fades to non-existence as I lose myself in his tongue, his touch…and then the phone rings.
It's not mine. It's his. It makes his butt buzz. I reach for his back pocket and pull it out, tempted to throw it on the floor. He grabs it before I do, pushing himself off me to look at the number.
He looks a little disappointed as he touches the screen.
"Hey, Mom." I can tell it's an effort for him not to sound out of breath. His arm is still pinned beneath my back, his touch sending me to distraction.
"Uh-huh," he says, trying to wriggle away as my fingers inch along the waistband of his jeans. He throws me a look that's supposed to be stern, but ends up just being adorable. I bat my eyelashes at him and he silently laughs.
"Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll be home in a minute."
As soon as he hangs up, I groan. With a soft chuckle, he kisses my chin then runs his lips down my neck. My skin is just starting to zing again when he whispers in my ear. "Another time. I promise."
I glance into his eyes. He's never said anything like that to me before. Those four little words mean so much. Is he serious? They're dancing with a truth that is delicious.
I prop myself on my elbows so he can slide his arm free. He sits on the edge of the bed, facing me. His hand slides up my thigh. I love how reluctant he is to leave. I give him a sexy grin. He kind of whines in his throat and I can see what an effort it is for him to stand up and move off the bed.
"You want to come back later?"
He picks the Columbia letter off the floor. "I better not. My sister's just arrived with the kids. You want to come over?"
I shake my head. "I'm too blotchy."
He grins, leaning down to kiss my puffy eyes. "They'll like you blotchy."
"Forget it." I push his shoulder so he'll stand up. I've only met Raelyn once, and there's no way I'm hanging out with his gorgeous sister looking like this.
"Okay," he says with a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
I watch him walk to the door, my insides flying with that giddy, floaty feeling. The one where you're so happy you might pass out.
Dale pauses at the door, tapping the letter against the frame. Digging the edge into the join, he glances at me with a soft smile. "By the way…" He licks his bottom lip. "I love you, too."
My heart stutters to a stop then takes off like a galloping bronco.
What did he say?
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and grip the edge, trying for a casual laugh. It comes out like this weird cackle. I swallow it down and look at him. "I…I never said I love you."
Pulling the letter free, he waves it in the air. "Yeah, you did."
I'm going to drown in the expression on his face right now. I match it with one of my own as he eases out the door with this goofy grin that will stay with me all night. I flop back onto my pillow, feeling euphoric. If I float to the ceiling right now, I won't even be surprised.
I hear the front door open and wait for it to close behind Dale, but there's a pause.
"I love you, Nicole Tepper," Dale calls out to me.
A giggle rushes between my lips. My voice is quivering as I shout back, "I love you, Dale Finnigan."
*****
The rest of this series - The Space Between Heartbeats and The Space Before - are both available on Amazon.
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The Space Between Heartbeats
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sp; Chapter One
The mirror is particularly kind tonight. I turn to my side, relishing how great I look in my new black leather miniskirt with gold trim. It accentuates my slender curves. My scarlet top has a deep V-neck that gives me an extra boost of confidence and my knee-high boots add the final touch. Trent won’t be able to resist me.
I reach for my jewelry box and rummage around the carved wooden chest, the gems and metals clinking together. Sliding on a couple of gold rings and my favorite pair of hoop earrings, I give myself one final look in the mirror and grin. As I start to shut the lid of the jewelry box, a long chain catches my eye.
The two dull metal dog tags swing back and forth as I pull the chain out. I run my thumb over the indented word granite and wince. I’d forgotten that I’d kept this, too ashamed to look at it.
I slip the chain on. The necklace lies with a weight against my chest. I gaze into the mirror and run my fingers lightly down the chain. A longing pierces me and I’m about to take it off, to push away my feelings, when a car horn blasts outside.
“Shit.” I snatch my jacket off the end of my bed and shrug my leather bag over my shoulder.
I head downstairs, my heels clicking in a staccato beat against the hardwood floors. The curtains in the living room are drawn, cocooning my mother in darkness. She likes to lay low on nights when Dad’s working late, which is every night these days. Currently, she’s glued to some pathetic reality show and sipping her white wine as if it’s the only thing keeping her balanced. Maybe it is.
I breeze past her. “See you, Mom. I’m out.”
“Where are you off to, Nicole?” Her aqua blue eyes don’t leave the screen.
“Study group.” I dart toward the front door. Thankfully, Mom doesn’t notice what I’m wearing.
The Space Beyond (The Space Between Heartbeats #1.5) Page 8
