Blogger Girl

by Schorr, Meredith

  I shook my head and as the cab drove away, I practically ran back to my apartment.

  When I got home, I dropped my bags at my front door and bolted to the bathroom, exhaling a sigh of relief that I made it on time. I liked to blame my small frame for my lack of alcohol tolerance but I was beginning to wonder if the aging process was causing my diminished drinking stamina. My body wasn’t any bigger back in college but I sure could hold my alcohol better.

  Fully dressed, I threw myself on my bed and stared at the slightly spinning ceiling, thinking about the “dirt” Hannah had dished on Daneen. I hoped I would find a subtle way to mention shit in front of Daneen and I also hoped she would recoil in embarrassment and maybe even resign from the firm the way she had transferred schools. Of course, I knew that was unlikely but a girl was entitled to her dreams. For the first time in my life, I actually felt indebted to Hannah. Maybe Writer Chick wasn’t that bad after all. As I thought of Hannah, a fuzzy admonition zipped across my mind but I passed out before I could make sense of it.

  CHAPTER 26

  I WOKE UP WITH A JOLT and checked the time on my alarm clock. 5:56. Holy Mother of God. My scathing post on the evils of Hannah was scheduled to post in four minutes!

  Dragging all of the blankets with me, I vaulted out of the bed, immediately tripping on the sneaker that was lying in the middle of my floor. Kicking the shoe out of my way, I muttered, “Fuck!” and raced to my computer. My head was pounding and my tongue felt like I had gargled with cotton balls. This was why vodka was not my drink of choice.

  Although most people wouldn’t be up early enough to read the article the second it posted, I had hundreds of subscribers to my blog and if it went live as scheduled, they would all get an email directing them to it. If even one person read the piece and forwarded it to someone else, it could go viral in minutes. Most of what I had written was true but I couldn’t go through with it, especially after what had gone down the night before. Not to mention how unprofessional I would look. What had I been thinking?

  My pulse racing, I pressed the power button. 5:58. I tapped my foot impatiently waiting for the login screen. After I entered my password, I kept one eye on the time which was reflected on the bottom right of the screen until all of the various icons on my desktop finished loading. Following what felt like an entire gestational period but in actuality was less than a minute, I made my way to the dashboard of my blog and clicked on pending posts. Since The Truth About Hannah Marshak was the only one in that folder, I spotted it without difficulty, angled my mouse over the “delete” field and clicked. I confirmed “yes, I want to delete this post” and finally took a much needed breath as I collapsed onto my couch in relief. Thank goodness. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep until 7:30 when my alarm clock sounded.

  ***

  Later that morning at work, I sat back in my desk chair and read the review one last time.

  Cut on the Bias follows Jacqueline Milano as she leaves her doting fiancé and her life in New York City behind to move to Paris in the hopes of making it big in the fashion industry. In her most vivid fantasies, Jacqueline will rub elbows, clink champagne glasses and share pain au chocolat with the fashion elite. But even her most stubborn doubts did not hint at the backstabbing and phoniness that, in reality, would derail her goals at every turn. Would the gentle but long distance support of her fiancé back in the States keep her afloat or would the loyalty and understanding she so desperately needed come from a much more surprising source?

  Cut on the Bias, the debut novel from Hannah Marshak, is well-written, extremely engaging and, at times, very humorous. The main character, Jacqueline, is remarkably believable, as most women at some point in their lives have embarked on an adventure, whether a new job, living situation, etc. and can relate to the stress involved in meeting unfamiliar people and dealing with different and sometimes hostile personalities. I felt for Jacqueline as she struggled in her strange environment and became torn between the safety she left behind and her desire to succeed in Paris and I hoped for her happy ending. With respect to the romance, I was pretty certain which man would be left standing in the end from the get go, but it was a more scintillating love triangle than most I have read recently! The end left me warm and fuzzy and perfectly fit the story.

  The only criticism I can offer is that the supporting characters could have been a bit more fleshed out as I got somewhat confused between Jacqueline’s intern and her seamstress. Also, some scenes were a bit repetitive and could probably have been cut out.

  All in all, this was a surprisingly good debut but I’m not all that shocked since the author herself is quite surprising at times. Looking forward to reading more from Hannah Marshak.

  Rating: 4 Pink Champagne Flutes.

  Happy with my positive yet honest review, I posted it on my blog, Amazon, and Goodreads, and attached the links to my Facebook and Twitter pages. Then I sent an email to Candy Adams letting her know that the review had been posted.

  After the post went live, I felt as if the weight of a Biggest Loser contestant had been lifted off of my shoulders. The moment I had dreaded had come and gone and I had survived. I decided to pick up a bottle of good wine on my way home and celebrate.

  “Hello?”

  And just like that, I was knocked out of my “life is good” bubble as I returned Daneen’s annoyed gaze. Nicholas was standing at her side but, as usual, was pretending to read his phone. He really needs to find more creative ways to ignore me. I sighed. “Yes?”

  “I’ve been standing here for the past ten minutes!” She said, raising her voice.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ten minutes? Is that right? Uh-huh.”

  Shoving a stack of papers in my face, she said, “I hate to pull you away from your little blog, but Rob needs you to scan these to him immediately, copying me, Nicholas and David.”

  I gently removed the papers from her hand and stood up. “No problem, Daneen,” I said sweetly. “I was actually in the middle of reading an article about cocaine addiction in college students. Did you know that a side-effect of cocaine is loss of bowel control? Who knew?”

  Daneen’s face turned ashen as she opened her eyes wide. “Uh, I…” She glanced over at Nicholas who had stopped staring at his phone to look at me with a confused look on his face.

  “Crazy, right? I’ll scan these right away,” I said cheerily. I walked away without another word and as soon as I got a safe distance away, jumped in the air and let out a delighted yelp. “Thank you, Hannah Marshak!”

  CHAPTER 27

  SHAKING HER HEAD SO FURIOUSLY, her red curls bounced all over the place, Bridget said, “No way! No fucking way!”

  I nodded somberly and took a sip of my wine. “Tis true.”

  Bridget shoveled a forkful of Caprese salad in her mouth. “You had drinks with Hannah Marshak. A girl who probably enjoys sticking it to you more than she likes a guy sticking it in her! Unbelievable.”

  I chuckled. “It’s nuts. I know. But I had no choice.”

  Bridget pressed her lips together. “You always have a choice.”

  Cocking my head to the side, I relented. “Okay, you’re right. I could have chosen to not follow Hannah to Ryan’s Daughter, but she was holding dirt on Daneen. It was way too tempting.”

  Bridget downed her wine. “Fine. You made the right choice. But now you like Hannah!” Shivering she said, “Blech!”

  “I wouldn’t say I like Hannah, Bridge. I just have…” I hesitated. “I have a newfound respect for her though. You should have seen the look on Daneen’s face when I brought up bowel movements. And poor Nicholas.”

  Bridget raised an eyebrow. “Poor Nicholas?”

  I frowned. “He looked so confused.”

  Laughing, Bridget said, “I wonder why. It’s not like it was the first time you uttered the phrase ‘bowel control’ in his presence. I’m sure that’s what you always discussed during your pillow talk, right?”

  I took another sip of wine, feeling an ache i
n my belly at the memory of pillow talk with Nicholas. I even missed his harmonica. “So, what about you? What do you and Jonathan discuss during pillow talk?”

  Blushing, she said, “We haven’t had pillow talk yet. We’re taking things slow.”

  “Oh. That’s smart, I guess.”

  Bridget nodded. “Yeah. We don’t want to rush into anything until we’re sure. But he’s a really good kisser!”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  Her face turning even redder, she said, “I guess you knew that already.”

  I laughed quietly. Even though I was afraid it would make me feel worse about my own situation, I vowed to be a good friend and encourage Bridget to tell me more about her relationship with Jonathan. But first I had to get something out in the open. “Bridge?”

  “Kim?” Bridget smiled.

  I cleared my throat. “Can I ask you something?”

  Looking at me curiously, she said, “Of course.”

  My voice shaky, I asked, “How come you didn’t tell me about Jonathan?”

  Bridget cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean? You’re the one who suggested I do something about my crush.”

  “And I meant it! But how come you didn’t tell me anything after your first ‘appointment’? When I showed up at brunch, you guys were practically a couple already and it really caught me off guard.” I took a sip of my wine. “Not that I wasn’t happy for you, but still. I felt like an idiot.”

  Bridget frowned. “I’m sorry, Kim. I wanted to tell you everything and I almost did. Several times. But I knew you were upset about Nicholas and didn’t want to rub it in your face.”

  I chewed my lip. “So, you weren’t trying to keep me out of the loop?”

  Bridget’s eyes opened wide. “Absolutely not! You’re my best friend and I want you to know everything about me. I was afraid to pour salt on the wound.”

  Nodding, I said, “I get it. It’s just that…” I paused to collect my thoughts. “Between losing Nicholas and being abused by Daneen at work, I haven’t been in the best place. Feeling disconnected from you just made me feel worse.”

  Bridget’s eyes turned glassy. “Oh, Kim, I’m sorry. You know I love you, right?”

  I smiled. “Of course. I love you too, Bridge.”

  Bridget grinned. “Glad we got that straight.” Motioning with her head towards the bar area, she said, “A girl at the bar is staring at you.”

  I spun around and looked toward the bar where there was indeed a girl with a chin level bob of black hair squinting her eyes in my direction. After a brief moment, I recognized her as Sarah, Nicholas’ friend from Anthony & Vic’s.

  I turned back to Bridget. “I know her. Sort of.” I stood up. “You mind if I say hello? I’ll explain later.”

  Bridget stood up with me. “No worries.” Removing the pack of cigarettes from her bag, she said, “I’ll take this opportunity to have a smoke.”

  Smirking, I said, “So happy to facilitate your bad habits.”

  Bridget winked. “One of the many reasons I love you,” she said before hoofing it to the exit of the restaurant.

  Following behind her, I walked over to Sarah having no idea what I was going to say, considering we’d only met once and my relationship with Nicholas hadn’t exactly ended under the best of circumstances. I wondered if she knew the entire story.

  She was talking to the bartender and no longer facing my direction, but turned around when I tapped her lightly on the back. She smiled wide. “Kim! I thought that was you. My eyesight isn’t great. George keeps telling me to get glasses but I’m too vain. And I’m too terrified to do the LASIK surgery.” Taking a big gulp of wine, she said cheerily, “How are you?”

  Someone is drunk. I made eye contact with the bartender, who grinned. “Yeah, she’s schnuckered,” he said.

  Sarah leaned over the bar and lightly swatted him. Turning back to face me, she said, “It’s Tim’s fault. We’re in culinary school together and he keeps me company when George works crazy hours, which…‘“ She rolled her eyes. “Is often.” Giggling, she said, “George doesn’t mind because Tim is gay.”

  Tim shook his head. “I think the real reason he doesn’t mind is because I let you both drink at my restaurant for free.”

  Rolling her eyes again, Sarah said, “Whatever. So how are you? I was so sad to hear that you and Nicholas stopped dating.” She frowned.

  I bit my lip. “Thanks. That’s so nice of you to say.” I figured it was the booze that was making her so enamored of my relationship with Nicholas. I couldn’t have made that great of an impression the one time we’d met.

  “We all figured it was about time he started dating again.” Sarah shook her head, her lower lip still protruding in a pout.

  Puzzled by her statement, I repeated, “Started dating again?”

  “Exactly!”

  I was thoroughly confused. I looked over at Tim, hoping for help, but he was assisting another customer. “What do you mean?”

  “Nicholas is so cute! Seriously yummy, right?”

  I felt that stubborn dull pain in my tummy again. Weakly, I agreed, “Yeah.”

  “After Amanda, we knew it would be a while before he trusted another girl but years went by and nothing.” More to herself than me, she mumbled, “Bitch.”

  I assumed Amanda was his ex-girlfriend. “What did Amanda do?”

  Sarah looked hard at me. “He didn’t tell you?”

  Nicholas had never told me anything about his relationship history. I shook my head, “No.” I looked over as Bridget walked by on her way back to the table. I raised two fingers to let her know I would join her soon.

  Sarah sighed loudly and then took another sip of wine. “They dated for years. He assumed…we assumed… she was the one. When he asked her to move in with him, she confessed that she was seeing someone else at the same time.”

  I opened my eyes wide, not knowing what to say.

  Sarah continued. “And had been for almost the entire two years of their relationship.”

  “Holy crap,” I blurted out.

  “Yeah. It was her high school boyfriend!” Sarah said, shaking her head. “Bitch.”

  “Oh, wow,” I said, still floored.

  “He hasn’t seen anyone else since.” With a devilish grin, she said, “Well, he obviously isn’t celibate or anything. Way too cute for that.”

  “A player, huh?” I knew it.

  Sarah jerked her head back. “No way. But we all have needs, you know?”

  Twirling a hair around my index finger, I said, “Did he…Did he ever date Mary?”

  Sarah furrowed her brow in confusion. “Mary? You mean our friend Mary? She’s gay, so definitely not!” She laughed and took another swig of wine. “Anyway, you were the first girl he took seriously since Amanda.”

  I gripped the back of her bar stool for support and repeated, “Took seriously?”

  Nodding, Sarah said, “He never brought anyone out with us. Ever. Certainly not out to dinner. Until you. He really liked you.” She frowned again.

  Half to myself, I said, “I had no idea.”

  Obviously thinking I was referring to Amanda’s deception, Sarah said, “I know! Who would have guessed a girl could secretly date two people seriously for two years.”

  I shrugged.

  Flipping her hair, she said, “So, yeah, we were all so sad when he told George you guys had ended things. I still have a subscription to your blog though.”

  “You subscribe to my blog?” I felt a bit sick to my stomach and suspected it had nothing to do with the appetizers Bridget and I had already eaten and everything to do with how I’d misjudged Nicholas.

  “Yeah! Nicholas sent me the link after George’s birthday dinner. No reason I have to break up with your reviews just because you and Nicholas broke up right?” She put two fingers to her lips. “Don’t tell.”

  I smiled softly. “Your secret is safe with me.” It wasn’t as if Nicholas and I were on speaking terms anyway. “Can I ask
you a question?”

  “Sure. I’ve already said too much, I’m sure.” Motioning towards her wine, she said, “This shit is like truth serum.”

  I choked out a chuckle. “What did Amanda do for a living?”

  Sarah looked up toward the ceiling as if the answer was somewhere in the track lighting. “Customer service. But I think she wanted to go back to school to be a dental technician or a physician’s assistant.” She shrugged. “Something like that.”

  Feeling like I had swallowed sour milk, I looked down at my toes and back to Sarah. “It was really great seeing you but my friend is waiting for me.” I gestured toward Bridget who was now looking at me with her lips pursed in annoyance.

  Sarah put her hand to her mouth. “Oh shit! I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to monopolize you.”

  “No worries. I’m glad we ran into each other. Please tell George I said, ‘Hi’.”

  “I will.” She leaned over the bar. “Tim! Get Kim and her friend glasses of wine. On the house,” she said, whispering the last three words.

  “Not necessary.” I said to Tim. I patted Sarah on the back and whispered, “But thanks.” As I walked back over to our table where Bridget was waiting for me, the phrases “she’s gay,” “took seriously,” “really liked you” and “customer service” swam around my brain, along with the visual of Sarah jerking her head back at my accusation that Nicholas was a player.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, Bridget said, “I was beginning to think you were ditching me for Nicholas’ friend. It’s been…” She stopped talking and stared at me. “What happened?”

  I shook my head. “You don’t want to know.”

  Bridget leaned forward. “Yeah, I do.”

  Bridget didn’t say a word as I repeated my conversation with Sarah verbatim. She just sat quietly, chewing her lower lip and occasionally nodding.