‘It’s a whole lot of things,’ she finally said. ‘Talking about it won’t bring a different outcome, I’m afraid.’
‘Are you sure? A problem shared is a problem halved.’ He took off in the direction of the beach.
‘True but … I much prefer to be in this moment with you.’
They drove in silence until they reached the end of a gravel road. Harry opened the door and Ellie got out, grabbing the picnic basket. The sound of waves crashing against the sand filled her heart with joy. A short distance away was a Queensland Ambulance Service station and another hut nearby displayed a sign: AWAS Searchlight Unit. Beyond the huts lay the beach with barbed wire fences on the shore.
‘Oh.’ Harry’s shoulders slumped. ‘I wanted to take you somewhere special without reminders of the war and I’d heard this was a good place to go.’
‘It’s fine, really.’ She walked over to a shady tree and sat on the sand. ‘This war is impossible to escape.’
Harry lay out a blanket and set up the thermos of tea, mugs, yo-yo biscuits and sandwiches.
She picked up a biscuit and bit into it. The vanilla goodness danced across her tongue. ‘This is delicious! Where did you get these?’
Harry tapped his nose. ‘It’s classified information.’
Ellie put the biscuit down.
‘You don’t want it?’ he asked.
‘I do.’ She took another bite. The biscuit didn’t taste anywhere near as good as it did a minute go. Now it was too dry, tasteless. ‘Thank you for the treat.’
‘You are most welcome.’ Harry leaned back on his hands. ‘I bribed the cook at the barracks to make us a picnic.’
She kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thank you. You’re very sweet.’
They ate the sandwiches and drank tea in silence. Birds chirped in the trees, creating an air of peace, calm and normalcy.
A roar thundered overhead. Ellie shielded her eyes as she looked up. ‘B-24 Liberator.’
‘Pardon?’
She pointed at the plane.
Harry shook his head, a wry smile on his lips. ‘You never fail to amaze me.’
‘Why?’
‘You know so many things that other women take no interest in.’
‘Planes?’ she asked. ‘A lot of women I know love planes. In fact, in the thirties learning to fly was a major pastime for many female socialites.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Yes, and,’ she said, ‘I wouldn’t mind learning to fly.’
Harry’s dark eyes clouded with concern. ‘Flying is extremely risky.’
‘So is crossing the road.’ Ellie paused. ‘Are you trying to discourage me? Because if you are, I would not be impressed.’
Harry held up his hand. ‘No, I didn’t mean that at all. What I’m trying to say is I love you with all my heart and I want to wrap you in cotton wool.’ He gently touched her face.
She edged away. ‘I don’t need protecting.’
Harry cleared his throat. ‘I need to tell you something.’
‘What is it?’ she asked, his tone filling her with dread.
‘I’m going away for an indefinite period at the end of next week.’
Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. ‘No.’
‘I have to.’
‘No.’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘I need you here.’
Harry reached for her hand. ‘We knew this could happen.’
‘Please don’t tell me it’s Britain.’ Her throat ached from holding back the tears. ‘Please?’
‘I’m sorry, my love.’ Harry pulled her close, his strong arms around her. He whispered into her hair, ‘If I could change it, I would.’
She gasped for air.
‘Ellie?’
‘I … feel … sick.’ She stood and rested her hand on the palm tree. Nausea swelled in her belly. She couldn’t hold it any longer.
Harry held her hair as the contents of her stomach emptied onto the sand.
Embarrassed, she looked away. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s all right.’ Harry traced his fingers down the side of her face. ‘We’ll be all right.’
‘Will we?’ Her voice sounded small, the hurt clawing at every word. ‘Look at what happened to Kat and …’ She shook her head. ‘I … I just can’t. This is too hard.’
‘What?’ Harry took a step back. ‘Us? We’re too hard?’
‘No, I mean …’ What did she mean? Sadness, anger, hurt, despair roiled through her to form a tangled mess.
Harry held both her hands. ‘We will be fine, Ellie. I promise.’
‘You can’t promise that. No one can.’ She locked eyes with his. ‘Before the war everyone had a false sense of security and we thought the futures we imagined were possible. Now we’re realising they were all pipe dreams.’
‘They don’t have to be.’
‘How can anyone be sure of anything right now?’
‘I know I love you,’ said Harry.
‘And I love you too.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Even though I want to believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel, it’s hard to imagine we’ll find it.’
‘I often feel that way,’ said Harry. ‘But you always look for silver linings. Please don’t let that change. It’s one of the reasons I love you.’
Ellie rested her head on his shoulder. ‘It’s just hard to keep positive when people are suffering around the world.’
‘We can’t control things bigger than us. What we can control, however, is our appreciation for what we have because it can change in the blink of an eye.’
‘Like you going to Britain.’
‘Yes.’
‘So we cling to hope and stars?’
Harry’s beautiful smile melted her heart. ‘With all our might.’
CHAPTER NINETEEN
‘I’m going to miss you,’ Harry whispered in Ellie’s ear. They stood in the darkness, just down the road from her barracks.
It had been a couple of hours since Harry had delivered the news, and she didn’t know if she could ever adjust to this monumental change. ‘Please, stay.’
‘I can’t, my love.’
‘I …’ Ellie choked on a sob. ‘I’m scared.’
‘Don’t be,’ he said quietly.
Ellie moved back so she could look into Harry’s eyes. ‘This is going to sound a little crazy …’
‘I like crazy.’
‘Do you think you could get leave?’
‘We’ve been told if we want leave, we should do it now because once we go to Britain we won’t know how things will pan out.’
‘How long can you get?’
‘Maybe twenty-four hours.’ A small smile formed on his lips. ‘Why?’
‘I was wondering … maybe …’ This was so much harder than she’d expected. ‘We could …’
‘Leave Brisbane for a night?’
‘Yes,’ she said.
He drew her body against his. ‘I would love nothing more.’
It had been easier than expected to get two days off from Central Bureau. A break away from Brisbane and the barracks was exactly what she needed. What Ellie and Harry needed …
She put on her hat then closed the overnight case. With the click of the lock, Ellie cemented the path she was about to travel down. Was she ready?
She left the hut.
‘Have fun, Miss O’Sullivan.’
Ellie stopped and turned to find Lillian grinning like she’d just found a pair of silk stockings.
‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’ Joy nudged Cassandra.
‘Enjoy your time away,’ said Cassandra.
‘Thank you,’ said Ellie, slightly flustered. It wasn’t like she’d broadcast her getaway with Harry but word had certainly got around quickly.
Florry stepped out of the rec hut. ‘You better get moving.’ She gave Ellie a gentle push. ‘You don’t want to be late.’
‘Goodbye!’ She waved to her friends, who blew kisses.
Florry accompanied her to the gate. ‘Pl
ease tell me you’re taking precautions.’
‘We are.’
‘Well then, enjoy being in the moment.’ She held up a finger. ‘But be careful.’
‘I will!’ Ellie left the barracks, dust swirling around her feet. She walked down the end of the road where she’d arranged to meet Harry.
Ellie cast her eyes skyward, taking in the magnificent blue. The leaves rustled in the gentle breeze, birds sang in the trees. Tranquility fell upon her. She needed to grasp this wonderful feeling of anticipation and love and hold on to every moment of it.
Time ticked by and she checked her watch again.
What could be keeping him?
Another ten minutes dragged by and she looked towards the barracks. Surely he would have called if he was delayed.
What if …
A car revved in the distance, the sun catching the silver paintwork as it drew closer and stopped in front of her.
‘Hello, Miss.’
She pointed at her watch.
‘Yeah, I’m sorry.’ He frowned then turned on a bright smile. ‘Would you like a ride, little lady?’
‘My mother told me not to get in the car with strangers.’
‘Just as well I’m not a stranger.’ Harry got out and took her overnight bag then opened the front passenger door. ‘Ready?’
‘Yes.’ She got in the car. ‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’
Harry sat behind the wheel then turned to face her. ‘If you’re unsure, we can stay.’
‘No, no. I want to go. Come on,’ she said, looking at the road ahead, ‘let’s get cracking.’
Ellie’s hand rested in Harry’s as they walked along Coolangatta Beach. Her bare feet sunk into the wet sand, the cool waves lapping against her ankles. Nearby, a group of men in bathing suits cavorted with some women, their laughter a natural accompaniment to the sun and cloudless blue sky.
Since Harry had picked up Ellie, neither had spoken about their upcoming night together. Maybe they didn’t need to. Maybe they just needed to forget the rest of the world and enjoy their limited time together. Maybe Ellie thought too much.
She glanced down at her eggshell-blue dress. Saving it for a special occasion had seemed decadent and impractical but she was glad she’d waited. Nothing could be more special than this night with Harry.
He stopped and gazed at the horizon. ‘I’m going to miss all this—the ocean, the endless blue sky, the palm trees.’ He turned to her. ‘But most of all, I’m going to miss you.’
Ellie breathed in the sandalwood scent of his cologne. ‘I’ll miss you more than you could ever know.’
‘Falling in love with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me.’ His eyes searched hers. ‘I love you with all my heart, Elanora O’Sullivan.’
‘And I love you too, Harry Kinsman.’
He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. ‘Did you want to …’
‘Yes.’
They looped back towards the hotel where Harry had booked a room upstairs. He slowed his pace when they reached their destination. ‘If you’ve changed your mind—’
‘I want to.’ She reached for his hand. ‘Don’t you?’
‘Absolutely.’ He went inside to get the key while Ellie slowly walked around the small garden with bright pink bougainvillea climbing the trellis.
She loved that Harry was so concerned about her feelings, that he was willing to give this night away if she’d changed her mind. However, since they’d decided to go to Coolangatta, she’d been surrounded by a bubble of anticipation and excitement. It wasn’t like she hadn’t made love before. In fact, Arnold Baker from Longreach had been her first, and if war hadn’t broken out then she may very well be married with children, living in the outback, unaware of the different path her life could have taken.
Harry walked over, key in hand. ‘Where were you?’
‘Here.’
‘No, where was your mind?’
‘Oh,’ she laughed. ‘I was thinking about how our lives can go in directions we could never anticipate and those experiences can change who we are.’
Harry raised his eyebrows, his lips holding a bemused smile. ‘That’s very philosophical.’
‘I guess.’ She grinned. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think our experiences can influence how we see the world but it doesn’t change the basis of who we are. If we’re a good person, we’ll always be a good person.’
‘But what about people who experience bad things in their life?’ Like Viv. ‘Surely that has an effect on who they are.’
‘It could, yes.’ He snuck a quick kiss on her lips. ‘But some people remain true to themselves. Like you.’
‘Life is not that simple or easy.’
Harry’s warm breath brushed her neck. ‘With you, my life is simple and easy and I wouldn’t want it any other way.’
The morning sun pushed through the curtains, falling across Harry who slept soundly. Ellie lay on her side, studying his square jaw, the dimple in his chin, his long lashes. She loved the stubble on his face, the way his hair had a slight wave when it wasn’t slicked back, and she adored his beautiful golden-brown skin. In this room in Coolangatta, it was easy to imagine a world where she and Harry were married, living a life full of love and raising a family.
Harry opened his eyes. A slow smile crept across his lips. ‘This is a sight I would like to wake up to every day for the rest of my life.’
Ellie ran her hand across his bare chest. ‘I wish that could happen.’
‘Me too.’ Harry adjusted his position and rested on his elbows. ‘It will, one day.’
‘That day can’t come soon enough.’
Harry’s fingers gently touched the scar near her heart.
She flinched.
‘Does it hurt?’ he asked.
‘It gets a little itchy but that’s a great sign it’s healing.’
‘What a crazy accident. I couldn’t cope if I’d lost you.’
Guilt welled within her. Harry had been so kind and caring since learning of her injury. She hated covering up the truth but there wasn’t a choice.
‘I’m here, I’m fine.’ She leaned over and kissed him longingly. The world turned in a slow, lazy manner and the worries she’d clung to dissipated the moment Harry took her in his arms. His touch set her skin on fire and, once more, she gave in to the ecstasy of making love with the man who had captured her heart.
Harry held Ellie’s hand as they strolled along the shoreline. She kicked a wave as it rushed across the sand.
‘I don’t want to go back to Brisbane,’ she said.
‘Me neither.’
She stopped walking and turned to Harry. ‘Let’s stay here.’
‘In Coolangatta?’
‘Why not? We could get jobs, be away from the city, find a place to live.’
‘I would love nothing more but …’
‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘It’s nice to dream, though.’
‘I often dream about us as a family. With a gaggle of children in our backyard that has chickens and fruit trees. Somewhere on the coast, where we walk along the beach every day. We’d build sandcastles, eat ice-cream and live without a care in the world.’
Ellie’s shoulders dropped. ‘This war isn’t ending any time soon and you’re … you’re going …’
‘When the war is over I will give you everything you could possibly dream of. Everything.’
‘You mean that now,’ she said quietly, ‘but we don’t know what the future holds.’
‘There is one thing I am certain will never change—my love for you.’ Harry wrapped her in a warm embrace, his lips meeting hers. He broke away. ‘I can’t not do this.’
‘Not do what?’
Harry got down on one knee. His shaking hands held hers. ‘I know I said we shouldn’t get married until after the war, but I can’t go away and not make my love for you official.’
A passing group of soldiers and civilians stopped to watch.
‘Ela
nora Jane O’Sullivan, will you do the honour of marrying me?’ His wide eyes were full of expectation.
‘Go on, say yes!’ yelled a woman in a mauve swimsuit.
The man with his arm around her shouted, ‘Don’t do it!’
The woman punched him in the stomach and the crowd burst out laughing.
‘Harry’—it was almost a whisper—‘are you sure?’
‘I’ve never been surer in my life.’ He adjusted his position. ‘Please give me an answer because my knee’s about to give way.’
‘Come on, love, don’t make him wait!’ yelled another man.
‘Yes,’ she said quietly.
‘What did she say?’ asked the woman in the mauve swimsuit.
‘Yes.’ Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off Harry. Louder, she said, ‘Yes.’
‘She said yes!’ someone shouted, and a cheer went up as Harry scooped Ellie into his arms and spun her around.
‘We’re doing this! We’re getting married!’
Ellie laughed. ‘We certainly are!’
He kept spinning then staggered to the left, to the right. A second later he lost balance and Ellie landed in the ocean, Harry beside her. Salt water flew up her nose, and soaked through her clothes.
Harry brushed a chunk of hair from her eyes. ‘Sorry, I got overexcited.’
Ellie tilted her face to the sun, the warmth enveloping her as the waves gently crashed against her body. Her gaze fell to Harry. ‘We have a lot to be excited about.’
CHAPTER TWENTY
Ellie sat outside her hut, enjoying the late morning sun. It had been two days since she and Harry were in Coolangatta. The initial joy of their engagement had been weighed down by the knowledge that soon Harry would be flying to Britain without a fixed return date.
She concentrated on the sketchpad on her lap where she’d spent the past half-hour designing her dream wedding dress, bouquet and veil. Even though material was now rationed and wedding dresses were passed between sisters, friends and cousins, it was nice to hope that one day, after the war, Ellie could walk down the aisle in something she’d designed. In the empty corner of the page, she practised a new signature: Mrs Elanora Kinsman.
The Codebreakers Page 18
