by Mia Kayla
“Then, let’s take you home, Princess.”
There was something so natural, so comfortable, about being around Josh. And I realized this night hadn’t turned out how I’d thought it would.
Chapter 9
“Happy Birthday, Princess!”
I pulled the covers over my head and turned over. “Five more minutes, Mom. Please!”
And then I heard it. I should have known.
I heard the struggle, the dragging of a heavy object against my wood floor, and Chloe’s laughter.
BAM!
Ice-cold water. All over me.
The blue Rubbermaid bucket was tossed to the side.
I screamed and jumped out of bed, hopping up and down, as though that would warm me up. “You jerks!”
I chased Chloe around the room, my arms outstretched, my clothes dripping wet.
She cowered behind my mother. “It was your mom’s idea! I swear!” Chloe pleaded.
One look at my mom’s face, and I knew she was the mastermind.
My nose wrinkled right before I bum-rushed them into a group hug, my sopping wet clothes dampening their clothing.
My mother grabbed my face and kissed each of my cheeks. She reached for my hand, and with her signature smile, she recited her favorite made-up poem to me, “Happy Birthday, my favorite girl. / I wish for all your dreams to come true, / For all the good things will happen to you. / We’ll bake a cake or two, and just know that I love you.”
I jolted to a sitting position, my eyes searching the room.
My hands flew to my heart. My breathing turned erratic.
I wasn’t back in my room in Carbarny.
And my mother wasn’t here.
I flattened one hand against my chest, pressing down the ache, as I relived those happy times.
It was odd, but while I was awake, I only remembered the morbid times, the times toward the end when my once-hippie, happy-go-lucky mother had been so different. When, some mornings, she wouldn’t get out of bed, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t speak. I hated those days.
In my dreams, I’d see her as she had been—happy…free.
My phone buzzed beside my bed, and I bent down to reach for it. Josh’s picture flashed on my phone with a caption.
Best. Crème brûlée ever. Best birthday ever. Thank you.
Even though I had insisted Josh didn’t have to take me home, he had. And he’d used the ‘birthday-boy-card’ as an excuse from the bar to the subway and all the way until he walked me to my door.
Not once had he mentioned my mother. Maybe thinking of my pain only reminded him of his. We had exchanged numbers but only because I’d wanted to make sure he got home okay.
I smiled as I texted him back.
You’re welcome. And thanks for making me cry the whole night.
No problem. When can I do it again?
This guy. He was relentless.
The silence is killing me. No date for that wedding yet?
I’m not the dating type.
I figured.
I widened my eyes at his candor.
I’m not the hooker type either.
I didn’t mean that. You’re the fall-in-love-and-hang-on type.
I smiled again.
You’ve got lines, bro. Boy, do you have them.
You’ve said that already. My question is, when will my lines finally work?
I was about to text him when something buzzed from the bottom of my purse. My breath stalled, and my heartbeat leaped into my throat, like a frog jumping on a lily pad. I stared, unblinking, at my black leather bag on the ground. My cell was in my hand, so it had to be the one Hawke had given me.
I slid off the bed and fell to my knees, dumping all my belongings in the process. I picked up on the third ring and steadied my voice though my pulse was racing. “Hello?”
“Sunshine?”
His voice made my heart flip like a cooked pancake. It was glorious and beautiful, as though he woke up, singing.
I flattened my bed head with one hand. It wasn’t like he could see me, but hearing his voice made it seem like he was in the room.
“What’re you doing?”
“Nothing as exciting as you.” I willed my pulse to calm down; otherwise, Chloe might need to call 911.
“I’ve missed you.”
The way he said those words with no inflection in his voice…I wondered how many girls had been fed this line. Still, my stomach did nonstop somersaults, and my heart soared.
“Sure you have.” I laughed, stood, and paced the room. My body could not sit still. My pulse increased to call-the-ambulance tempo. I bit my thumbnail, trying to calm my nerves.
“I have missed you.” His voice dropped, all cheeriness disappearing. “I need to see you.” His voice held a degree of fierce emotion.
A low breath escaped me, and I fidgeted with the bottom of my shirt. “Come on over,” I said bravely even though I knew it wasn’t that easy.
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my duvet over my knees, reveling in the warmth of half of my body being under the covers. “Where are you anyway?”
“Vegas.”
I bit my lip and played with the edge of the comforter. We were miles away from each other. Even if he wanted to see me, he couldn’t.
“Sin City? Nice.”
“We’re playing at MGM Grand today,” he said. “Have you ever been to Vegas before?”
“Not yet.”
The only places I’d ever been outside of Carbarny were Chicago and Canada—to bury my dead grandmother when I was younger. That fact would dim a conversation real quick.
I heard him take a deep breath and blow it out.
“I’m going to ask you something, and before you think too much about it, I need you to agree to what I’m asking you before I ask it.”
I laughed. “So, I have to agree to something without even knowing what I’m agreeing to?”
The smile was back in his voice. “That’s exactly it, Sunshine. Because I know you.”
No, he didn’t. Not really. Romps in the sack didn’t count, but I wanted to humor him, and moreover, I didn’t want our conversation to end.
“Okay, ask me then.”
“You’ll overthink things. I’m sure you’re overthinking us right now.”
Us?
I couldn’t control the lightness in my chest at his words. I didn’t want to hope for more. I should be satisfied with what we had. Chloe would be. But I didn’t work that way.
“It’s been two weeks since you called me, Hawke. What us are you referring to?”
“I know. I just knew, if I called you, it’d be harder to stay away.”
His words, the sincerity in his tone, and his admission that he had been struggling not to call me made my heart swell. But I had to gain control and keep a level head.
I’d been dumped two times before by two men who I’d been madly in love with. One had left me for a cheerleader, and the other couldn’t handle me after my mother’s death. I’d like to believe neither of those times were true love because, if they had been, we would’ve lasted. Either way, I didn’t want to be the one hurt in the end, and judging by the differences between us, it was bound to happen. Me, with a stake in my heart.
“Don’t,” he whispered.
“What? Don’t what?” My voice sounded shaky, even to my own ears.
“Don’t overthink this. Do you have a passport?”
I tightly held the phone against my ear. “Yes. Why?”
“I’m sending the plane to come get you. I’m touring Europe for a couple of weeks. We leave tonight and…I want you to come.”
I blinked and reeled back, glancing at the phone, as though I didn’t believe what he had said.
“Sunshine?” A nervousness resonated in his tone.
“Are you crazy?”
“You have no idea.” He laughed, his voice a bit unsteady. “But that’s not the point. What do you say, sweetness?”
The intensity of his tone stilled
me. But not my raging, reckless pulse.
It was insane and absurd and not responsible. I didn’t have that many vacation days left at work.
But there was one question I needed to ask him. “Why?”
“Why what?” He seemed confused.
But I was more confused. “Why do you want me to come with you?”
He cleared his throat, and his next words rushed out. “Because I miss you.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled a long silent sigh. His words made my chest ache because I missed him just as much or even more. Though I didn’t want to listen to his sweet talk, I couldn’t help it. “I doubt you are lacking company, Hawke.”
“The only person I want to see is you. I need to see you. You, Sunshine.” His voice sounded as though it were on the verge of desperation.
The way my nickname ran off his tongue made the inside of my palms sweat. Forget my palms. My whole body warmed.
I stared blankly at my comforter. Some of the down feathers had escaped from a little hole, and I pushed them back in.
“You’re overthinking things again, Sunshine. Now, my one question.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Do you want to see me?”
I scrunched my eyes, knowing that hearing him through the receiver was nothing compared to holding the real deal. “Yes, but—”
“No buts,” he said, sounding anxious now. “Tilton will be there in three hours. Don’t worry about packing. If you need clothes, we’ll have my assistant grab you what you need. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Hawke—”
“I’ll see you later Sunshine,” he said, sounding a little excited.
And then the phone went dead.
I blew out a series of soft, short breaths, and my stomach rolled with butterflies when Tilton opened the door to the limo that would take me to the private jet.
When he picked me up from my apartment, he didn’t say a word other than, “Hi.”
I tried to press him for more information, but I didn’t get much other than, “Mr. Calvin will inform you upon your arrival.”
Gah! The man was so frustrating!
Almost as frustrating as my relationship with Hawke.
Almost but not quite.
I’d never, in my whole twenty-three years of existence, ever done something this crazy. Up and leave the country? Spontaneity was not in my DNA.
When I had hung up with Hawke though, I’d called work to take a few days off, telling my boss it was a family emergency. It was the most believable excuse I’d had, and I couldn’t tell him I was leaving the country.
When I’d told Chloe, her usual carefree self was nonexistent. She hadn’t been all uppity-up on the idea of me leaving for an extended period of time with Hawke. She’d made valid points—one being, I didn’t know him that well yet, and two being, he hadn’t called me in weeks. Anyone else would have thought that Chloe was a little jealous, but I knew her. I could read the concern in her eyes.
I knew she was more worried about my attachment to him. Although I was more than concerned for the both of us, I’d lied and told her I knew what this was—a fling and nothing else. Except this wasn’t a one-time fling. This was a three-time fling that was about to extend into Europe.
Nervous butterflies stirred in my belly with each step leading me to the airplane. I had stuffed shirts, jeans, and socks into my backpack for the short trip, so I hoped I had enough. Who knew what we were doing or where we were going to be at the end of the trip? All I knew was, I wanted to see him. So, I was here.
I wanted to act cool and collected and normal, but I was more like crazy chaotic. With each step up the stairs, my pulse sped up, like drums playing on the inside of my wrists.
I heard the chatter of laughter, and then I stopped and took everything in.
Cofi was sitting on one of the tan leather couches that spanned one side of the plane. Max and AJ were situated on the singular seats, facing forward. A couple of them were with women I didn’t recognize, but it was seeing Hawke that shocked me. He was at the back end of the plane on a couch big enough for five.
I had imagined our reunion so many times over these last few hours. It was nothing like this. I hadn’t expected him to have some half-naked girl on his lap. I hadn’t expected him to be laughing at something she’d just said. I hadn’t expected him to be with anyone but me.
“Sunshine.” He tipped his chin in acknowledgment.
“Hawke.” I clenched my jaw and kept my voice level, pretending that seeing him with another woman hadn’t just hurt me like a hard shove against my chest.
Hawke extracted himself from the woman’s grasp, slow and smooth, in his natural style, and he strolled forward. Irritation was written all over her face, whereas mine stayed still like a statue.
With one hand, he threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled my head back, placing his dominating mouth on top of mine. I anchored myself, pretending like he didn’t affect me. At least I tried, but he kissed me long and hard until every one of my limbs felt weak, and it felt like my feet were floating on air.
God, I had missed him. This playboy, this domineering, spoiled rock star. I had missed every inch of him.
But I was pretty damn pissed.
Hollers came from around us, but he didn’t break our connection, only deepening his kisses, sliding his tongue against mine.
I didn’t know if he was kissing me for my benefit or to show the other woman that he was the boss.
Who knew what his motives were?
I was kissing the man who I was totally infatuated with. The hot male with the rock-hard abs. The one who had sung sweetly in my ear after we had sex. The one who was tearing down all my barriers and forcing me to live on the wild side. The one who I liked way too much for my own good.
When he released me, my eyes were unfocused. I was a little dazed, a lot breathless, and even more light-headed, but then I caught sight of the brunette with the big boobs who probably had the same reaction to his nearness.
I bit my tongue. Maybe, by feeling pain, I could snap back to Sensible Sam.
Staring into his green eyes that I’d dreamed about, I knew I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t share. I wasn’t a girl who settled for less than what I deserved.
The cheering of our audience was enough to have me cowering in the corner from embarrassment. Cofi was the worst of them all, yelling obscenities.
When Hawke threw one arm around my neck, I moved away and turned toward the exit. “I can’t do this. I-I have to go.”
“What? Why?” He gripped my hand, stopping me mid stride.
The plane was about to take off, but the door was still open.
Before I left, I needed to know. “What are we?” Hope bloomed in my chest. The wrong answer, and I would be gone, down the stairs and out the door.
“You’re my girl,” he uttered the statement, like it was a known fact and as though I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
But they were just words. I wanted more.
The brunette bombshell was on Cofi’s lap, laughing at something he’d said. Awareness pushed to the surface. She was just a groupie to be shared by all, and I didn’t want to be that girl.
I needed to know if I was just another groupie to him. I needed to know what I meant to him. I needed to know why he’d asked me to come here when he obviously had enough company.
“Does that mean you’re exclusively with me?” I couldn’t bite back the annoyance in my tone.
He tore his eyes away and ran one hand through his dirty-blond locks. His reaction was my answer, and my stomach dropped to the floor, slipping through the plane and falling onto the runway.
I’d made a mistake by coming here. I needed to leave but had to know the truth first. “Have you been sleeping with anyone else?”
“Yes.” There was the answer, honest and without hesitation.
God, it hurt. Hurt hard.
I jerked away, adjusted my backpack on my shoulder, and
stormed out the door and down the stairs.
I guessed it was too much to wish for the rock star to stay celibate in the two weeks we’d been apart.
In one swift movement, he stepped in front of me and drew me against him. I pushed at his chest, but he held me by linking his arms around my waist.
“When I’m with you, I’m only with you.” He gripped my chin, but I jerked away. His answer knocked the wind out of my lungs, despite the pain I was already feeling. “Why can’t you just live in the moment with me, Sunshine? I missed you. I invited you here.”
Every word was like a slice to my skin. Another word out of his mouth, and he would slice me to the bone.
“No expectations. No regrets. Live in the moment.” His eyes showed such certainty, as though that were the only way to live.
I gritted my teeth and stayed silent.
Easy for him to say. He wasn’t getting emotionally attached.
He ducked his head, so we were eye-to-eye. “Ask me if I’ve ever invited a girl to come on tour with me. Don’t believe me?” he insisted. “Ask the guys. While you’re at it, ask them who I talk about nonstop. There’s no other girl with my phone number. There’s no other girl I’d drop anything for, except for you.”
I blinked back angry tears. “Except you slept with another girl.” Probably more than one. I wanted to ask him how many, but I bit my tongue instead.
“But I only like you,” he said, gaze alert, jaw set.
An intensity showed in his eyes, making a tiny part of me believe him. The hopeful part of me wanted to believe him.
The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile, and there was a quiet desperation in his eyes.
That was the difference between men and women. With men, it was just a physical release, but with women, it was everything—emotional, physical, and spiritual.
“Why did you invite me here? If it’s sex you want, you can have any girl. You’ve already proven that.” I couldn’t hide the bitterness in my tone or dim the quiver in my voice.
His fingertips grazed my back. “I don’t want anyone but you, Sunshine. We don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to—though that would make things less exciting.” His devilish smirk was on display. “I invited you here because I missed you.” He released a breath. “And, if you must know, these last few weeks”—his smile faltered—“I’ve been lonely as fuck, and the last time I was less lonely was with you.”
