by Tara Benham
“Must have been a lonely existence.”
“I had Father Paul.” I shrugged. “I didn’t feel lonely. I was content. Now, I feel sadness because I miss Hadraniel. I feel anger because people I have learned to like will lose loved ones. I feel stress because I don’t know what is real anymore. I feel gladness because of new feelings. I feel too human.”
“I like feeling human. I loved my job before I got assigned this task. I lived here on Earth most of the time. I loved getting to travel while seeking out rogue Fallens. I got to see birth, death and everything in between. I must say, the in-between is my favorite.”
“I was able to see glimpses of the in-between, but I never focused on them. I was more focused on the death and aftermath. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my natural surroundings. I love the stars, the views of the different lands of Earth. That helps ease the hardness of dealing with death on a regular basis.”
“Is there anything in your past that can help you with whatever it is you’re fighting against with this mission? I’m on the other side, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a different way of seeing things maybe. When…”
“You mean if?”
“When I succeed, I want to win because I defeated the best Bayla possible, not because you gave up.”
“I have a perfect record. Don’t let this current moment of distress fool you. I may be having human feelings and emotions, but I refuse to let them affect my job or let me fail those I call friends.” Declan had a point though, I needed to think back to each of my missions to see if there was something in them that I could pull from along with all the new research. “Can I ask you a question? “
“You can ask, doesn’t mean I’ll answer...or that my answer will be truthful.” He held back a grin, and I knew he was no longer upset about our fight earlier in the woods.
“Have you witnessed angels or demons altering the memories of humans or overtaking someone’s body?”
“A lot of rogues change the memories of people to fit their needs. I know a few demons use this strategy too. From my experience, Angels are the ones that will overtake a human’s body for short periods of times like your Father Paul did. Why?”
“I was in the book store earlier today, and the new owner was talking about Mr. Whitstock. I’m curious as to how people could remember him if he was Father Paul.” I hadn’t learned about being able to overtake a human’s body. Only certain Angels must have the knowledge and skills. It sounded like it was with good reason too, especially if there were rogue Fallens. That was also news to me. Why were we not responsible for them?
“Hey, where’d you go?” He waved his hands in front of me.
“Wondering why demons were the ones to have to handle the rogues, that’s all.”
“In order to be a Fallen, you have to have turned your back on Heaven and all that it means. That’s what makes you one. So once that occurs, you belong to our side, and you become ours to deal with. There are many Fallen Angels that choose to live among the humans who never do anything evil. They just no longer want to be in Heaven, for a variety of reasons. The main reason is usually because they fall in love with a human. There are some that harbor anger against someone, and that’s when the rogues are made. I have met a few that were more evil than any of the demons I know.”
“We are taught very little about Fallen Angels. Probably because they don’t want it to seem like an option, especially among our young Angels, or at least that’s what I think. Who am I to question what we are taught?”
“That is why you are a good angel. You do as you’re told, never questioning things. It makes you successful.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing.”
“It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just, do you have a mind of your own?”
“Obviously. The mistakes I’ve been making should tell you that I question and think for myself. For Grace’s sakes, I told a human about my mission!” I dropped my head on the table, and he just chuckled.
“Touché. Has any of this helped you so far in changing your plans for the mission?”
“Nah. Haddy and I made very concrete plans with a lot of research. I think it’s still the best course of action. There may be some modifications needed to ensure people are safe throughout, but the trip is still on. Unless you have a reason that you think is valid enough to make me change my mind?”
“I have nothing. Especially now that Meph has been showing up, I think that continuing the trip will let things play out the way, as you say, history has written them.”
“I agree, except history has already been rewritten with the earthquake happening a week earlier than it should have.”
“Hmm. If everything is already written, then why would the timeline have changed?”
“Who knows? Father Paul wasn’t allowed to explain anymore before he left, so we might not ever know why it was changed or even how it was changed. I need to get back to my research so I think I’m going to take the laptop upstairs and leave you to whatever you do.”
“Good luck.”
In my room, I sat on my bed; files spread all around me, laptop open, and music playing. Music was beginning to be a necessity for me to focus. It helped provide me with stimuli while I was reading through what could be very mundane information at times. From my research, I had learned that the conditions here were similar to those in the eighteen hundreds that allowed the river to flow backwards. I decided that this was the least of the concerns for the moment. I needed to figure out who could possibly be a rogue Fallen that would have created Oliver. That’s the only reason I could think of that my files would have no information on him. Oliver seemed to make Gray a better person though so why would a Fallen want to help save him? Was it their way of trying to redeem themselves? What purpose could there be to help? I needed to figure out who the rogue was, and if they were still around? Could it be the Fallen that I’m after and not Declan? No, I knew I had to save Declan. Father Paul had confirmed that. I pulled up research on Fallen Angels, but the information was very limited. I couldn’t go ask Declan for any more information either, or he would start to get suspicious. I grabbed all of Had’s files again. I needed to review those closest to Gray. With all my new theories and information, maybe something would jump out at me that could help.
The first file was Hannah, and reading through everything again didn’t reveal anything new. She was kind and caring and had been a part of Gray’s life for years. Not that she couldn’t be a Fallen, but there was a lot of history in her files. In fact, everyone except for Sadie had a lot of history in their files. I had spoken to her and while she was strange, nothing was out right wrong. I looked up her dad online. If he was a seismologist, surely there would be research papers he had done, articles on his findings, something that would validate her story. I wasn’t sure of the power of a rogue, but I didn’t think that they would be able to completely fabricate a person the entire world would have known.
I was coming up with nothing. I put her name into the search bar and still no information, no social media pages, no links, nothing at all. It was as if she didn’t exist. If she was a rogue, why had she stayed around for the main event? Had she created Oliver for everyone to remember? Causing a brother to die was cruel, even if it guided things to turn out well. No longer able to keep this to myself, I went searching for Declan. He would know how to handle her, and whether or not she would be something else to watch for during the earthquake.
“Declan?” He wasn’t in Had’s room so I headed downstairs. “Declan, where are you?”
“In the living room. Sadie is here. She stopped by to see if we’ve heard anything about Hannah’s grandmother.”
I stopped at the bottom of the stairs in order compose my thoughts. I didn’t know if she was dangerous, and if so, to what extent. So I needed to not let on that I knew anything. A few more deep breaths, and I turned the corner into the living room. I chose a seat closer to Sadie than Declan. With everything else going on, I really
didn’t need rumors getting back that something was going on between us.
“I haven’t heard anything since this morning. Hannah said her grandma had fallen and was in the hospital, but that’s it. Have you heard anything more?” I was silently kicking myself for using the word fallen.
She shook her head solemnly. “No, that’s all I had heard too.”
“Hey, while you’re here, has your dad found out anything else about the upcoming earthquake?”
Declan did well hiding his shock. I hadn’t told him about Sadie, my previous theory or what her dad did. “Does your dad study earthquakes?” he asked, with curiosity and interest. He was good at this.
“He does. He’s noticed some really strange readings, but he still has his predictions for a month from now. He did hear back from the council though. They asked him to do further research before they plan a mass evacuation.”
“Well, if you hear more about Hannah’s grandma or a mass evacuation let me know. I can tell my parents not to come out here if I need to, and can have our trips planned accordingly.” I replied.
“I will. Well, you two have a good night, and I’ll see y’all later.”
Declan escorted her to the door. He waited around until she was gone before coming back with a look of questioning. “Her dad is a seismologist?”
“Actually, I don’t think she has a dad. I think she’s a rogue. I just can’t figure out why. That’s why I was going to ask you a few things. Like why would a Fallen seemingly try to make something better?”
“In order to redeem themselves, in order to play games with people’s emotions, and simply because they can. But I don’t think she’s a Fallen. Besides, she’s close to your age. You would know her as an Angel if she had been one right?”
“Depends. I don’t know all the angels, and as for her aging, here on Earth where everything moves at a different pace, there’s no way of knowing really.” I stated, but I was more focused on trying to remember if I had seen her face in Heaven before.
“I read Fallen Angels can’t be redeemed so that doesn’t seem like a viable reason. I need something more reasonable. Give me a day to do some snooping around and see what I can find. Until then, I wouldn’t act any differently towards her. If she is in fact rogue, she could be more dangerous than we know.’
“Aye-aye, sir.” I saluted him in response so that he knew I had heard him.
“You can be such a weirdo!”
“Such love. And you were so angry at me before.”
“Still am.”
“Whatevs.” I snorted at myself for using vernacular that was common among Hannah and her friends. Tomorrow was another long day of planning so I crashed with little thought of everything that had happened today.
The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing. ~Socrates
The next morning as I was passing the kitchen, I saw some movement outside. I stopped to watch and saw it again. It looked like Father Paul was trying to sneak closer to the cottage. I wasn’t sure why he would be here, or why he would be sneaking, but I was certain it was him. I didn’t want Declan to know he was out there, so I went as quietly as possible to the back door, pressed my hand against it while turning the knob and slowly pushed it open. It creaked, and I froze, hoping it wasn’t as loud as it sounded. When I didn’t hear any movement, I opened the door the rest of the way and snuck out. I took as much care closing it behind me as I did opening it.
“Father Paul” I whispered barely above an audible level.
“Bayla.”
“Agh! Father Paul” I gave him a quick smack on his arm.
He chuckled. “I couldn’t resist.”
“What are you doing here? How’s Hadraniel?
“I am strictly forbidden by Elder Michael to discuss Hadraniel with you. I am on a direct mission for him with a message you are to receive and respond to immediately.”
“Okay…”
“You are commanded to stop all research unless it is directly related to keeping Gray and Declan safe. Elder Michael says it is not your job or mission to understand the why, just the what and how. The what, is Gray and Declan being saved from dying during the earthquake. He said the how is up to you as you are the expert. He also said to tell you that you were wrong in telling Hannah, but he would forgive you because he understood why you did it. Now, I cannot leave until you send your word with me to Elder Michael you will abandon this need for answers, and spend the remainder of your mission focusing on the mission itself.” He had a way of making you feel reprimanded in a kind way.
“I promise.” I sulked.
“I can say this, not everything is always as it seems my sweet Bayla. Some things are better not being known. I have faith that you will succeed in this mission just as you have in all of the others. Focus on the what and how, and you will do fine.” He pulled me into a hug.
I wrapped my arms around him, sighed and then in an instant he was gone. He was just doing as he was commanded, but some word about Haddy would have helped. The not knowing was killing me. I wish he had left a clue or made a slip of the tongue, but he didn’t. Father Paul was good at following strict commands. I wondered why, and then remembered I was no longer to ask the why. I suppose whatever reason they had for not telling me about Had was reason enough to not ask any further questions. On my way back into the kitchen, I took the list I had created and dropped it into the trash bin. I needed to make a new list.
“Hey, good morning. What were you doing outside?”
“Just needed some fresh air.”
“You look upset. Are you okay?”
“Yes, just need to make a list of things to do between now and when we leave tomorrow. I know for sure I need to get out and hide the water and food I bought with Sadie the other day in the areas that Hadraniel and I marked in the valley.”
“Make your list, and I’ll go with you.”
I rolled my eyes but didn’t argue. I knew it would be pointless to try, and I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Meph alone today. I made a mental list of what else I needed to do before tomorrow. I knew I needed to gather all of the camping gear and pack up the remaining essentials for my mission, because once we left the cottage we wouldn’t be returning. I needed to get in some training with the swords somehow. I needed to make sure they were hidden, without Declan’s knowledge, in convenient areas in the valley. I needed to stretch my wings. That was not necessarily a requirement, but they were getting achy. Declan had already had the privilege of seeing them, so I didn’t think anything about letting them stretch while I was seated at the kitchen table. Just as they were at full length, I heard a gasp and turned to see Hannah standing in the door of the cottage.
“Oh, Hannah. Hi…” It was awkward having a human see me in Angel form. It had never happened before, and I quickly retracted my wings. “I thought you would still be in Ohio with your family.”
“I came back early. I wanted to see if I could help you with anything.” She looked pale. The sight of my wings confirmed my story but would be intimidating I’m sure.
“There are a few things I could use help with, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. You really are an Angel, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’m sorry if my wings frightened you.”
“It’s okay. I just didn’t expect to see a full on actual Angel sitting at the table. What can I help you with today?”
I hesitated a little, knowing there were some things I couldn’t ask her to help with, even if I had wanted to. It would just not be safe. “I need to get the camping gear packed and placed by the door, and my clothes and necessary items put into a bag so they’re ready to just grab tomorrow. I think that’s the main thing I need to do right now.”
“Hannah, what brings you to the cottage?” Declan eyed me suspiciously. I’m sure he thought I was telling her more than I already had told her.
“I thought I would come see if Bay needed some help packing her gear. What are you doing here?” She
arched her eyebrow and switched between looking at me and him.
“I’m staying in Had’s room while he is gone. He asked me to before he left, to make sure our Bay was safe.”
He ruffled my hair as he passed and went into the kitchen. Lying seemed to come second nature to him, although at this time, I was thankful for that skill. I wouldn’t have had a good answer as to why he was here. He seemed as cool as a cucumber for the most part, unless it had something to do with me not doing what he thought I should. Any other time, it might be fun to goad him, but I knew the stakes were too high right now to do that.
“Do you have all your gear ready yet? It might be a good thing to do this morning before we go run those errands you were talking about earlier.” I spoke loud enough for Declan to hear me from the kitchen.
“My gear is indeed ready. I can take care of the water and food for now, if you trust me.” Declan responded, almost in a challenging voice in front of Hannah. I couldn’t necessarily tell him no, because she would want to know why I didn’t trust him.
“Unconditionally.” My response must have stunned him. He cocked his head sideways, opened and closed his mouth a few times, before nodding and heading out the back door. I wasn’t lying either. For some odd reason, at that moment, I did trust him. Even if he didn’t hide the items in the spots Haddy or I had chosen, I believed he would put them in appropriate places. He had been to the valley as many times as I had, at least. He knew areas that were more suitable for us. I just wished I had told him to make sure to hide a few things in the cave. Most of my how, as Father Paul had put it, was depending upon that cave leading to higher ground somewhere or at least providing a decent hiding place until I was able to defeat Mephistopheles.
