“I’m not into pain.”
“I meant your sense of humour.” Hearing voices, Luke swivelled towards the door leading into the kitchen. “Sounds like them now.”
“Accompanying them into the big smoke, huh?”
“Town.”
“Talking about a sense of humour, where’s yours this morning?”
“Squashed like my nuts.”
“You’re getting a fixation about your balls. I’m worried about you.”
It was Luke’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”
“Did you put them in a sling?”
“Up yours.”
“You’d need two slings, one for each nut.” Jason chuckled.
“You say one word of this to Aaron or Blue, and you’re dead.”
“I’m sure they’d be sympathetic.”
“About as much as you.”
“Besides, Blue is off somewhere in Iran or Afghanistan or somewhere like that. How’m I going to tell him?”
Luke was about to mention Skype and thought twice. His twisted cousin would do it, too. Even though he wasn’t there, Luke did not want his little brother knowing, the bastard would hold it over him for years.
“Back to the story,” Jason said. “You surely must have suspected they were up to ghost hunting.”
“At first I didn’t. I heard a noise, distant voices, checked the girls and their beds were empty. I went on a search.”
“In the dark?”
“I had a torch, dickhead. So I followed the sounds of voices and tracked that pair into one of the bedrooms. I realised what they were up to then, any idiot knowing that pair would guess. I decided to give them the thrill they were chasing, killed the torch, crept up behind Mikki and surprised her.”
“And got kicked in the ball bag. Good plan.”
Luke winced at the memory. “That female can knee with force. I damned near had my tonsils rung.”
“Less visual words, please. I’m trying to eat a plum here.”
“Good luck to you.”
“Where was your faithful hound all this time?”
“I shut him in the bedroom so he wouldn’t give me away, which is where he is now while we go into town. God knows why, but Dog’s got an embarrassing crush on Mikki.” The door of the kitchen opened. “Here come the pair of dangerous hunters now. I’m off.”
“Running scared?”
“Ha ha. I’ll catch you later.” Turning the mobile off, Luke watched Elspeth lock the kitchen door while Mikki strolled across to where he leaned against the car.
Elspeth was the picture of a dainty, well-dressed, rich widow. Light summer dress in pale blue, sweet little short-sleeved cardigan in white, high-heeled pale blue pumps, and a white handbag hanging daintily off one wrist. He bet the whole ensemble probably cost more than his ute. Her hair, dyed a rich brown, was elegantly rolled at the back of her head in some sort of farty-arsed bun.
Mikki, in contrast, had on her usual bright pink sneakers, a pair of brown slacks, and a button-up bright yellow blouse with the hem flipping cheekily over her pert backside. The sleeves were rolled to just below her dimpled elbows. Today her glossy red curls were confined in a braid that hung halfway down her back. Dark green eyes surveyed him in amusement. “I thought you’d be in the car by now.”
“Waiting for you to unlock it.”
“Poor baby.” Holding up the keys, she gave them a rattle. “Couldn’t the big man find the keys to jump in the drivers’ seat first?”
“I have no objection to you driving.”
She pressed the button, unlocking the car. “Not threatened by women drivers?”
“Not at all.” He got into the back seat.
“Glad to hear it.” She tossed the keys to Elspeth. “Let’s go, Aunty.”
“Wait. What?” Luke stared at Mikki as she got into the passenger seat. “You’re not driving?”
Turning in the seat, she smiled widely at him. “Buckle up, Lukey-boy.”
Jesus. He could practically feel the sweat popping out on his brow. “Maybe I should drive after all.”
Right at that moment Elspeth bounced into the front seat, flashed Mikki and Luke a beaming smile and announced happily, “Isn’t this fun?” She stuck the key into the ignition and started the SUV with a roar, making Luke quickly tug on his seatbelt. “I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. Exploring the origins of this place, getting things sorted, checking out this town.” Shoving the car into gear, she moved forward while turning her head around to smile widely at Luke. “And having you with us - why, the more the merrier, right?”
“Right,” he croaked, white-knuckling it as Elspeth spun the wheel as she faced the front, narrowly missing taking out an old, cracked, stone urn.
His father was more religious than he was, but Luke believed in God. He just had to believe that God wasn’t ready for him to go to Heaven yet. It’d been awhile since he’d prayed, he was a bit slack in that direction. He wondered, as Elspeth roared the SUV down the road and he bounced in the back seat, whether it was too late to turn Catholic and start confessing. He had a lot to confess.
His teeth chattered until he clamped his jaw shut as she rattled over the corrugated sections of the road, he swore his arse actually left the seat at one stage. Sure as hell his abused balls remembered the kneeing they’d gotten hours before as he slammed back into the seat.
“Guess this road will need fixing, too,” Elspeth said cheerfully.
Hanging onto the handle above the passenger door, Mikki agreed. “Get the grader on it then some bitumen. Good plan.”
Better plan would be for Luke to take over the driving. No wonder Elspeth bought a new car every year, with her driving she undoubtedly wore it out. He’d heard stories about her driving, seen Jason come out of her car looking decidedly green in the gills when she’d given him and Izzy a lift home one night from the movies. He’d seen her darting between traffic, driving like she was in a race. God must’ve liked her, because she still had her life, her license, and no one driving near her had ever ended up wrapped around a light pole.
He’d bet his arse her Guardian Angel had been to many counselling sessions. Or maybe they rotated several for her.
Coming to the road, she glanced to the right, saw it was clear - thank God and anyone else listening - and pulled a sharp lefty that had Luke almost cracking his head against the window.
Sure as hell gave him whiplash when she snapped the wheel straight and his neck almost snapped with it.
“How you doing, Luke?” she asked happily, glancing at him in the mirror.
“Yeah, Luke,” Mikki added brightly. “How you doing?”
The irritating redhead was enjoying this way too much. Unfortunately, with his employer’s happy face and beaming smile centred on him - and not the freakin’ road! - Luke could only gasp and stare with wide eyes as a car appeared ahead. On their side of the road. No, on it’s own side of the road because Elspeth’s car had wandered a bit.
Unable to help it, he burst out, “The car! The car!”
A sharp swing of the steering wheel and she had the car back on the correct side, the oncoming car going past them. Luke just glimpsed the ashen face of the driver, noticed he clutched the steering wheel pretty much the same way Luke was gripping the door handle with one hand while white-knuckling the back of Mikki’s headrest with the other.
Not in the least bothered by what had nearly transpired, Elspeth was chatting away. “Now, I think if we stop in at the antique dealer first. We can go in and meet him, which will be interesting since I’ve spoken to him on the phone and only met him once in person a few years ago. It’s good to talk business face-to-face, right?”
“Absolutely.” Mikki cast a glance back at Luke, her eyes twinkling as she reached back to pat his fingers where they death-gripped the back of her headrest. “You okay there, Lukey-boy?”
“Fine,” he croaked, unlocking his fingers with effort to pull his hand back to bunch into a fist on his knee. He wasn’t game
to release the door handle.
Elspeth continued, “You can head for the library, Mikki, see if they have any info on the mansion, maybe some photos we can get copied. Photos would be good, we could have them reproduced and framed, put them up on the walls as you suggested.”
Mikki nodded.
“What about you, Luke?” Elspeth did another glance back in the mirror.
His heart stuttered but managed a near-normal pattern when she looked back at the road. As long as he didn’t look at the speedometer. “Uh - I was going to head for the library and see if they had any photos of the house and original gardens.” Throat dry, he swallowed. “Try the museum as well.”
“What a wonderful idea!” Jamming on the brake, she sharply slowed the car down as they neared a bend.
The seatbelt snapped tight on Luke, pinning him to the seat. He couldn’t help but notice that Mikki had her hand on the dashboard before Elspeth had even touched the brakes. Girl was good, she knew the signs. He was starting to get a renewed respect for the redhead, she’d gotten into the SUV knowing how her aunt drove. God, she was brave.
Or stupid.
As they rounded the bend, a car pulled onto the side of the road, a box flung out the open door. The box hit the ground, the car door slammed shut and the car took off, tyres spinning in the gravel, screeching out onto the road and disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
“Hey!” Mikki leaned forward. “They threw something out!”
“Box.” Grimly, Elspeth planted her foot on the accelerator. “Bastards!”
What the hell…? Luke didn’t know which way to look as the SUV took off, throwing him back in the seat. Surely this mad woman wasn’t going to chase the other car? As the SUV raced along the road, it looked like she was - oh crap! “Elspeth, what the-urk!”
The SUV screeched to a halt, skidding enough that the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Everyone lurched forward, snapped back, and for several seconds Luke thought his life was going to flash before his eyes.
Before he could even contemplate the fact they had actually stopped, Mikki and Elspeth were out of the car, leaving it running.
Wait, they were out of the car.
The driver’s seat was empty!
Holy heck, enough was a bloody enough!
Luke ripped the seatbelt off with trembling hands, shoved the door open and almost fell out on shaking legs. While the mad driver was occupied, he was claiming the bloody driver’s seat. He didn’t care if she was upset, he was too young to die. A man had to do what a man had to do, tears or no tears!
The rate he was bloody going, it’d be his tears.
No sooner had his sneakers hit the ground than gasps of outrage came from the two women bent over the now open box.
“I knew it!” Elspeth claimed. “That bastard!”
Whoa, he’d never have believed she could swear.
“That useless cretin! If I find out who he is, I’ll rip his lungs out and reinsert them through his arse!”
Luke’s eyebrows shot upwards as he looked at the women. Two backsides met his astonished gaze - one thin one covered by a pale blue skirt, the other generous bum outlined by brown slacks.
“With no anaesthetic!” Elspeth finished heatedly.
“Oh, poor baby,” Mikki cooed. “Poor little blossom. Come here, sweetie.”
“Careful now.” Elspeth wrung her hands as she straightened. “Poor little mite is scared stiff.”
What the hell was going on? He walked across just as Mikki straightened with something in her hands.
One second he was looking into a mottled little face with big blue eyes, the next thing the furry thing catapulted up into the air.
“Catch her! Catch her!” Mikki screamed, trying to keep hold of the spitting, wild, furry tornado.
Instinctively Luke reached out, only to swear as tiny claws raked across his hand.
“Don’t let her go!” Elspeth grabbed the box. “Luke, hold on!”
Hoy hell on a hot day, his hands were being ripped to shreds! Luke found himself trying to hold a squirming, wildly fighting kitten as she bit and clawed at him.
“Don’t let her go!” Mikki frantically tried to get a grip on the kitten as well. “Don’t you dare let her go!”
Like that was going to happen when those claws were caught in his t-shirt, tiny pin pricks poking through to his abdomen followed by scratches as the kitten tried to get a foothold on his chest.
“Jesus!” he yelled. “Someone do something!”
“Here!” Elspeth’s hand caught the kitten’s scruff, pulled upwards and the kitten went limp for a few seconds. It was all she needed to pull it free and drop it into the box she held in her other hand, quickly closing the lid and holding it shut.
Panting, they all stood in a semi circle. Luke’s hands were bleeding, his abdomen felt like it was scoured to hell and back, Mikki’s impressive bosom was heaving and several curls had escaped her braid to bob around her flushed cheeks.
“Wonderful!” Elspeth beamed. “We got her!”
The box was jiggling around in her hand as the kitten inside went ape-shit.
“It’s frightened, poor thing,” Mikki said.
“We need to get her to a vet.” Elspeth’s gaze fell on Luke’s hands. “Oh, Luke, you poor thing!”
Following her horrified gaze, Mikki’s eyes widened. “Oh no.” Reaching out, she laid her palms under his, holding his hands up so she could see better.
It was a surprisingly gentle hold, her palms warm and dry against his.
Didn’t make up for the stinging of the scratches, though.
“Here.” Elspeth made to hand Mikki the box. “You hold this and I’ll get us fast to the hospital.”
That brought him out of his stunned daze at the sudden, totally unexpected happenings. No freaking way was he going to let this mad woman drive. Never mind the hospital, they could take him straight to the morgue because if he had to rely on her driving once more he’d stroke out, never mind bleeding out from the scratches and a couple of bites.
Time to take control of this disaster. “Elspeth, you sit in back with the kitten, seeing as you have such a secure hold on it.” Luke strode around the front of the SUV.
“You shouldn’t drive with your hands like that,” she fretted.
“Mikki, get in the front. We’re going.”
“I really don’t think he should drive,” Elspeth confided to Mikki as she got into the backseat and pulled on the seatbelt before taking the box from her niece and settling it on her lap.
Getting into the driver’s seat, Luke glared at Mikki. “In. Now.”
The kitten chose that moment to have another anxiety attack, sending the box jiggling once more and taking Elspeth’s attention as it meowed and clawed at the inside of the box.
Mikki shot Luke a wary glance.
He stabbed a bleeding finger at her then at the passenger seat. If that redhead dared to argue after what she and her madcap aunt had put him through again-
Before the thought could finish, she quickly shut the back door, scrambled into the passenger seat and buckled up.
Taking a deep breath, he reached for the automatic stick shift.
“Um…maybe you should dab off some of that blood?” Mikki suggested.
Clenching his jaw, he put the car in ‘drive’ and after carefully checking the road behind him - unlike some certain eccentric widows - he pulled out into the lane.
“Or not,” Mikki muttered.
He couldn’t trust himself to look at her. He couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t. First he was kneed in the balls, then his skin was practically raked off his hands and his belly, well hell, he was probably half disembowelled by that furry clawed fiend in the box. What the hell had he done to deserve all this?
“Can you imagine?” Elspeth was completely oblivious to Luke’s smouldering silence. “That bastard just dumped this poor little kitten on the side of the road.”
Mikki twisted around in her seat to peer into the
backseat. “Poor little baby. Who could do such a horrible thing?”
Mouth set, Luke continued to drive in silence.
Elspeth cooed at the unseen kitten in the box and Mikki resumed staring out the windshield.
After several kilometres, he felt her gaze shift to him.
“Um…Luke?”
“Yes?” he answered tersely.
“Come on, you have to admit, whoever dumped that poor little kitten is a mongrel.”
Glancing into the rear-view mirror, he eyed the box on Elspeth’s lap. Okay, whoever the prick was who had dumped the kitten was a mongrel, but geez…
A soft hand on his forearm had his eyes swivelling to the side to see Mikki dabbing gently at the stinging scratches on his hand.
With a sigh, he slumped a little, his hold on the steering wheel easing. “Yeah, a mongrel.”
Mikki smiled slightly.
Shaking his head, he flicked a glance in the mirror once more. Geez, that was how he’d ended up with Dog, he’d found him tied to a guide post on the side of the road miles from nowhere, left to die of hunger and starvation or for some kind person driving past to rescue him. Dog had been a mangy puppy full of fleas, worms and the shits. The last two he’d found out when Dog had diarrhoea all down Luke’s jeans when he’d picked the shaking puppy up, and as he’d looked down in dismay at his trousers, he’d been totally grossed out by several tape worms wriggling around.
He hadn’t given a crap what any cop would think if they pulled him over, he’d ripped his jeans off, thrown them into the bushes and jumped back into the driver’s seat of the ute in his jocks, shirt and work boots. The puppy he’d placed on the floor, desperately hoping he wouldn’t crap again until he had him at the vet’s. An emergency phone call to Blue, who had met him with a cardboard box and a clean pair of jeans just outside the city, a visit to the vet that had cost him a pretty penny, and he’d become the owner of a dog named, appropriately enough, Dog.
He understood how the women felt, for he’d felt the same towards whoever had dumped a helpless animal to such a cruel death. He was a strong believer in letting the punishment fit the crime - he’d sure have liked to get hold of the bastard who’d abandoned Dog.
The Wells Brothers: Luke Page 7
