by Molly Green
‘I promise.’ He glared at her, his eyes so bright with tears she swallowed hard and had to force herself not to turn her head away.
‘Would you like me to keep it in my room in a safe place where only you will know where it is? That way it won’t get damaged or taken again and you can see it as often as you want.’
Peter shook his head vehemently. ‘No, it’s mine. I’ll put it in the cupboard by my bed when no one is looking.’
She hesitated. If she insisted, he might become hysterical. She supposed he was old enough to take responsibility for it.
‘All right,’ she said reluctantly. ‘Mind you keep it safe. Now run along and see your friends.’
‘I don’t have any friends,’ he turned on her, blue eyes blazing. ‘They all hate me.’
‘Oh, no, of course they don’t. You’re imagining things. It takes a bit of time, that’s all, when you’re new.’
‘I’m not imagining. Jack said yesterday he’ll be glad when I go back home where I belong.’
What was that supposed to mean? Maxine wondered. ‘And what did you say to Jack?’ She mentally braced herself.
‘Papa said I was not to say anything to anyone who was nasty to me. He said I must not fight. I must be a man and walk away.’ He looked at Maxine with those bright blue eyes. ‘I told you before – my father is the best father in the world.’ He broke down in tears again.
How on earth would Peter ever come to terms when he knew the truth about his father? Should she say something now? Get it over with. But was it her place? He would hate her and she felt he was just beginning to trust her a little.
She tried to put her arm around his shoulder, but as usual he jerked away from her and jumped to his feet. She felt it was beyond her to ever explain to the boy that his father was an evil man – a Nazi. If only the war would end and Herr Best could send for his son. She gave an involuntary shudder.
‘May I be excused, Miss?’
‘Yes, Peter,’ she sighed and looked at her watch. ‘It’s time for you to get ready for bed anyway.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
Every time Maxine thought of her date with Crofton her heart did a somersault. They’d never had a real date. Maybe they’d finally have a chance to get to know one another. And then her heart would plunge in fear. She longed to know all about him but she dreaded saying anything about her own past. And he’d be bound to ask questions.
The following day came quickly and with it a letter from Pearl.
18th October 1942
Dearest Max,
Can you believe what I’ve gone and done? Only broken my leg! I stepped backwards on the stage last Saturday and dropped into the orchestra. What a hullaballoo I’ve caused. Of course, the show came to a sudden halt. It must have been terrifying for everyone seeing me fly backwards through the air. I managed to break a valuable violin and slightly injured the musician. Everyone said I could have broken my neck, so thank goodness it’s only this stupid leg.
I’m in the Royal Infirmary where you did your training, feeling more than a bit sorry for myself. Next week the show goes to the West End, but I shan’t be with them. I could weep with sheer frustration that I had it in my hands – my career, that is – and now it’s in tatters.
The only bright spot on the horizon is my deliciously good-looking surgeon. He’s set my leg, which is now in plaster, and comes to see me twice a day whether he needs to or not, haha.
Anyway, Max, I’d so love to see a friendly familiar face. If you get the chance, will you come and visit? Visiting hours are from 2–4 every day. Please bring me a magazine if possible, or a book to read. Am so bored. Can’t stop thinking of my stupidity. If you can’t get away soon I’ll understand as the children must be keeping you very busy, but please come when you can.
Much love,
Pearl XX
Maxine read her cousin’s letter with horror. Poor Pearl. It wasn’t fair after all her hard work to get where she had with her singing and acting. She reread the letter, her heart sinking at the mention of the Infirmary. The last thing she wanted was to run into someone who knew her before … before Teddy. She swallowed. She had to stop thinking that way or she was doomed to skulk around forever, worrying that she’d be recognised. She was bound to bump into someone who knew her sooner or later. Well, she’d rather it be later.
She made up her mind to visit Pearl this very afternoon – before her date with Crofton.
As Maxine entered the Royal Infirmary, the familiar antiseptic smell, far stronger than in the ward at Bingham Hall, assailed her nostrils. She stepped over to the reception desk and asked for Miss Pearl Burton. The woman flipped through her cards and looked up, smiling.
‘Miss Burton is in the surgical ward,’ she said. ‘Through the double doors and up the stairs. Second corridor on the right.’
Maxine passed several doctors and nurses on her way to Pearl’s ward, thankful that she didn’t recognise anyone.
‘May I help you?’ A nurse came up to her immediately she set foot in the surgical ward.
‘I’m visiting Miss Pearl Burton.’
‘Ah, yes, Miss Burton. You’ll find her at the far end by the window. She should still be awake as she only finished her meal a few minutes ago.’
Maxine thanked her and threaded her way through the beds until she spotted a figure at the end with her leg raised.
‘Well, if it isn’t my long-lost cousin.’ Pearl beamed as soon as Maxine appeared. ‘My letter has had an immediate effect – the very intention.’
‘It was extremely powerful,’ Maxine laughed, then glanced at the contraption where Pearl’s leg was resting. ‘You’re going to be awhile with that leg strapped up.’
‘I know. At least a month. Maybe six weeks. And it’s making me crazy.’
Maxine sat down on the metal chair by the side of the bed and handed Pearl a couple of magazines she’d managed to spirit from the home.
‘I’ll have to take them back next time I come,’ she told Pearl. ‘Magazines are rather precious at the moment.’
‘So I gather.’ Pearl looked closely at her cousin. ‘You’re looking so much better than when I last saw you. In fact, you look absolutely lovely. That colour makes your eyes look positively turquoise.’ She paused, her expression contrite. ‘What a dippy thing to say. You were going through the worst possible time. Anyway,’ she added quickly, ‘does Barnardo’s feel like home now?’
‘It does in a way,’ Maxine admitted, going a little pink at Pearl’s compliment. She’d dressed extra carefully for her date with Crofton and worn her straight navy skirt and a new blouse she’d made from a silky material Barbara had offered her.
‘Was it the right place to go to?’ Pearl asked.
‘Completely right. June is a darling. She’s only my age but she’s not afraid of hard work or responsibility, and we’ve become good friends in spite of—’ She broke off.
‘In spite of what?’ Pearl jumped on to Maxine’s hesitation.
‘In spite of me keeping myself to myself where the others are concerned, though I like Kathleen – the other nurse – as she doesn’t pry.’
‘Don’t close up,’ Pearl said seriously. ‘Give them a chance. You should all be part of a happy family – like we were in the show – still are, I expect, even though I’m missing.’ Her bottom lip trembled.
‘Poor Pearl. But you’ll be back with them as soon as your leg’s healed.’
‘I hope you’re right. It’s what I’m clinging on to.’ Pearl shifted a little but her leg remained static. ‘Can you pass me the water, please?’
Pearl took a few gulps, then pulled a face and drew in a ragged breath.
‘Are you in pain?’ Maxine asked, full of concern for her cousin.
‘Yes, a lot of the time. They do try to give me something when they can, but the pain pushes through everything.’ She looked directly at Maxine. ‘I meant what I said just now, Max, about the rest of the staff at the orphanage. Are they all women, by the way?’
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‘Except for Harold, the chauffeur, and Charlie, the handyman, yes they are.’
‘Well, you don’t want them to think you’re snobbish by not letting them get to know you. It’s very bad to bottle your emotions. Don’t I know it.’
‘You know how I feel more than anyone, Pearl. But I need to put it to rest or else I’ll go mad.’
She gulped. Never would she be able to ‘put it to rest’ all the time Teddy was in her heart, but helping the children at the orphanage was proving to be a way of managing the ache.
‘I understand.’ Pearl’s eyes glistened. Then she seemed to shake herself. ‘What about the kids?’
‘Most of them are grand, even the ones who’ve had a shocking start in life. But we have a new boy, Peter, who’s half German – by the father. He came to England with his mother, but his mother died and he was sent to his grandmother’s. Then the house got a direct hit and killed his grandmother and took most of their possessions. He went to foster parents, but they couldn’t handle him, he was so naughty. He’s a bright child – fluent English, and all that – but he’s shocked to the core with what’s happened to his family.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ Pearl said. ‘Poor little chap. Can you help him?’
‘June wants me to try,’ Maxine said, ‘but it’s not easy.’
They chatted on, about the show mostly.
Maxine glanced at her watch. It showed ten minutes to four.
‘I don’t know where the time’s gone, and they’ll soon boot me out, but it’s been lovely catching up with you.’ Maxine paused, wondering whether to ask the next question. She decided to risk it. ‘Have your mum and dad been to see you?’
A shadow passed over Pearl’s face. ‘No. They don’t know I’m in here.’
‘I’d be happy to go and see them,’ Maxine said. ‘Explain what’s happened. I’m sure they’d want to come and visit you.’
‘No, don’t do that. I—’
‘And how’s my special patient this afternoon?’
Maxine froze. Instinctively, she grabbed the arms of the cheap metal chair, her heart hammering loud in her ears. She had her back to the man, but she knew instantly who that voice belonged to. Oh, if only she’d said goodbye even two minutes ago she wouldn’t have heard him. She wished the ground would swallow her up. She wished she was anywhere but sitting by Pearl in hospital. What should she do? Where could she go? She didn’t want to turn around but she’d have to.
‘Hello, doc,’ Pearl said, her face suddenly pink and alive, her eyes shining.
Maxine reluctantly turned round and looked up at the tall handsome surgeon. It was gratifying to see the look of dismay on his face.
‘My goodness. If it isn’t Nurse Taylor.’
She hated the way his eyes glanced at her stomach. He knew she must have had the baby months ago, but it was as though he wanted to reassure himself it was no longer there. Her feeling of pure contempt for him deepened as, by the looks of Pearl, she realised this must be the ‘deliciously good-looking surgeon’ her cousin had described. Thank goodness with Pearl’s condition, nothing much could happen – for now, at least. She gave an inward shudder.
‘You two sound like you know each other,’ Pearl said a little plaintively.
‘We were at St Thomas’ at the same time,’ Edwin said smoothly, apparently ignoring any discomfort Maxine might be feeling.
She had to get out or she’d say something she’d regret. She brought her attention back to her cousin and bent to kiss Pearl’s cheek. ‘I’ll come and see you again soon, Pearl.’
‘Come as soon as you can. It’s pretty lonely here. Except when the doc comes to visit me.’ Pearl looked at Edwin from under her lashes.
‘I will.’
She couldn’t get out of the ward quick enough.
She’d almost made it to the corridor when a voice made her stop.
‘Maxine. Can you give me five minutes?’
Ignore him. There’s nothing he can say or do that would change anything.
‘Please, Maxine.’
Against her will, she turned and faced him.
‘My office is only just along the way.’
He took her by the elbow. She wanted to shake him off but his grip tightened and he guided her a few hundred feet, then opened a door marked ‘Mr E. Blake’ on a shiny brass plaque.
‘Sit down,’ he instructed her as he locked the door behind him and took his place behind the desk. He steepled his hands in front of him, reminding her of the first time she went into his office in St Thomas’. But this time it was different. Too much had passed between them. ‘How are you, Maxine?’
‘I’m all right,’ she answered stiffly.
‘Good. Very good.’ He unsteepled his fingers, then keeping his palms together he made a silent clapping gesture as though wondering how to put something difficult to her. ‘What happened to the baby?’ he eventually said.
Her hackles rose. ‘This is the first time in over a year you’ve enquired,’ she said.
‘Well, I’d like to know at least what happened to it.’
‘I didn’t get rid of it,’ she emphasised, ‘if that’s what you mean, but thank you for so thoughtfully offering me the opportunity.’ She couldn’t help the sarcasm. She watched as he chewed the inside of his cheek and refused to meet her eye.
‘I wish you had,’ he said, ‘for your own sake. Now you’re saddled with a baby.’
‘I would be honoured to be saddled, as you so charmingly put it,’ Maxine snapped, not bothering to disguise her anger. ‘And the “it”, as you call the baby, happens to be a boy – your son as well as mine, who, in case you’re interested, I’ve named Teddy.’ She was gratified to see a slight flush appear on his cheeks. ‘But you were right on one thing, Edwin. I didn’t think it would be in Teddy’s best interest to bring him up without a father, and some stranger looking after him through the day because I’d have to work, so I let …’ she blinked back the tears, ‘… I let him go to be …’ she swallowed hard, ‘… to be adopted.’
‘It was the sensible thing,’ Edwin said, leaning back in his chair, linking his hands behind the back of his head. ‘You can now put it all behind you knowing he’ll grow up with two loving parents.’
She shot to her feet. ‘How dare you surmise that he’ll be better with them than with me,’ she slammed into him with her words.
‘Steady on, girl.’ Edwin rose from behind his desk, his flush deepening.
It flashed through her mind that he didn’t look quite so attractive with his face all red against his auburn hair.
‘And don’t call me “girl”.’ She put both hands on the edge of his desk and leaned over so her face was close to his. Fury rose in her. ‘And while we’re at it – leave my cousin alone.’
He pulled back a fraction, his eyes narrowing. ‘What the devil are you talking about?’
‘You know perfectly well – Pearl Burton, who happens to be my cousin.’
‘Pearl is your cousin?’ He let out a bray of laughter. ‘Well, I’ll be damned.’ Then a dark shadow crossed his face. ‘What have you told her about me?’ He cleared his throat and watched her face intently. Maxine waited, knowing what was coming. ‘Have you told her I’m the father of your child?’
She wouldn’t answer straightaway. Let him stew. Let him wonder. She was gratified to see sweat beading on his forehead as he waited for her reply. His Adam’s apple moved up and down most unattractively. She’d never noticed it before, but then she’d never seen him quite this nervous – even when she’d first told him about the baby. She took in some calming breaths to slow her heartbeat, hoping to give him a few more moments of anxiety.
‘I never told her your name. She doesn’t know it’s you.’
He blew out his cheeks, then took his handkerchief and wiped his forehead. ‘That was sensible of you.’ He paused, then said, ‘Where do you work now?’
It would be an innocent question from anyone else, she thought, but from him it took on sup
reme importance. She almost lost her nerve. Almost.
‘I’d rather not say.’
‘Ah, I’ve got it.’ Edwin lifted his chin and gave a triumphant smile. ‘You’re one of the nurses at Dr Barnardo’s – Bingham Hall, I believe. Pearl happened to mention she had a cousin who worked there.’
He came from behind his desk and put his hands on her shoulders. Hands that saved lives but now felt as though they were trapping her. She backed away, thankful he let her go, though she could still feel the imprint of his grasping fingers.
‘I’m sure you’re settled in and enjoying your job, aren’t you, Maxine?’
The words were friendly but his tone had a distinct edge – almost menacing. Maxine shivered.
‘I have nothing more to say to you.’ She turned towards the door.
‘Yes, you may go,’ Edwin’s voice was smooth, ‘but be sure that if you mention anything of our relationship and the baby to Pearl, or anyone else for that matter, I will personally see that you lose your job.’
Her heart wouldn’t stop hammering on the tram to the Philharmonic Hall. What a prize fool she’d been to ever have thought she was in love with such a despicable man. She felt sorry for his wife having to put up with such an arrogant philanderer who obviously had no sense of remorse whatsoever. She’d certainly learned her lesson. It would be a very long time before she gave her heart to any man again.
She pushed away an image of Crofton and instead focused on Edwin. What a rotten coincidence that he’d transferred to the very same hospital where she’d begun her training and where Pearl had been taken. And by the way Pearl was eyeing him, she was already infatuated, if not head over heels in love with the man. She had to warn her cousin, but she wasn’t sure she could face going back to the hospital. Should she write to Pearl instead?
Would he really stoop so low as to put the mother of his son out of work for the sake of having an undisturbed dalliance with Pearl? And then it struck her. Of course this wasn’t about Pearl, it was his wife. That’s what he was afraid of. That it would come to the ears of his wife.
He’d had to threaten Maxine with dismissal, hoping his seniority would be enough to intimidate her and keep her mouth shut. Because if she found out where his wife lived, which probably wouldn’t take too much detective work, and told her a few home truths about her husband, then it would be the end of his marriage. But Maxine would have achieved two things: she’d have saved Pearl from any future heartache and at the same time saved her job at Bingham Hall, which she desperately needed to keep for her own sanity as well as her livelihood.
