Penny chose him. Always him. It didn’t make the pain go away. It didn’t make the adrenaline pumping in his ears stop. “She could have told me.”
All the memories and the feelings clogged his thoughts. Everything he ever felt about her was real. No part of it was a lie. He’d given her it all. Every piece of himself. He held nothing back because he loved her too. Yet…he couldn’t make himself say it out loud. He couldn’t go after her. A tiny seed of doubt invaded his heart, and the vines coiled around his limbs, suffocating every hint of light. “I just want to go home.”
“Cali—”
“Someone find my discharge papers. I want to go home.”
Alone. That was the only thing he wanted to be right now. It was the only way he’d survive it. Silence. Emptiness. Everything he never wanted to experience again.
***
Callen sat slumped into his locker at the practice facility. It’d been a week since Magnum tried to break his wrist. His former teammate had been kicked off the team, replaced by one of their farm team kids in Augusta. It had been Magnum who talked to the press and left those notes in his locker. He was an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season, and his stat sheet looked worse than Callen’s. Somehow, he thought if they traded Callen, they would keep him around another year. And honestly, his plan almost worked. Callen flexed his hand, the pain almost gone. He’d missed all three games that week, allowing his wrist time to heal before the playoffs started. It wasn’t his wrist that caused the sinking feeling in his stomach, though. It wasn’t his wrist that made every bit of food he forced in his mouth taste like stale grain.
Time didn’t heal pain. It only made it worse. It grew deeper inside of him. The wound gaped open and pained more now than it did that night at the hospital. He hadn’t spoken to Penny since she ran out of his room. She was still in Manhattan. He knew that only because Henrik and Drew had been hanging out with her every day, getting to know their sister.
Sister.
Penny was Henrik and Drew’s sister.
He sank a little lower in the locker. She’d called him a dozen times. He knew because she’d left a dozen voicemails that he hadn’t played. It was a dick move, but he couldn’t help it. He’d put himself out there, and now he was messed up in the head worse than before. He trusted her. He loved her. He still loved her.
The door to the locker room opened. Henrik walked in. Callen rolled his eyes, but it didn’t stop his friend from inviting himself over to sit in the locker next to him. Callen glanced over at him, but Henrik didn’t say anything. He sat there staring out at the empty room in front of them. Callen leaned his head back. “What do you want?”
Henrik shrugged. “Nothing. This is where I come to think.”
Callen rolled his eyes. “What do you need to think about?”
“Whether or not I’m going to drag you out of here by your hair?” Henrik leaned up, placing his elbows on his knees. “It’s time you talked to her.”
“Who?”
“Your girlfriend, asshole.”
“You mean your sister?” Callen tried to stand to leave, but Henrik blocked him. Callen sneered at him. “At least I know what side you’re on.”
“I’m not on a side. I’m simply tired of watching my sister cry, and my best friend be fucking miserable.”
Callen fell back down in his seat. “She’s crying?”
“She told you she loved you, Cali.”
“You know I love her,” he said, turning his face away.
“Then why are you here? Stop forcing yourself to be alone. I know you think that’s who you are, but it’s not. That guy I see when you’re with Penny. That’s the real you.”
Callen kept his head down. He knew Henrik was right, but something still stood in his way. “Think about it,” Henrik said, grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet. “Until then, you’ve got some other business to handle.”
“What do you mean?”
Henrik smiled. “Coach and management want to see you upstairs. Said something about a contract that needs to be signed.”
Callen’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Henrik laughed. “Yes, really. I’m not that fucking evil.”
“I’m really coming back next year.” He said it out loud, and for the first time since finding out his coach hadn’t sent him those notes, he actually believed it. “I’m really going to be in Manhattan again.”
“Yes,” Henrik said, shoving him toward the door. “Go sign your contract and get your stupid ass paid.”
Callen practically stumbled out of the locker room and to the elevator. It felt like a dream. His body moving in slow motion. His limbs heavy, and the background a faded gray. Sure enough, Coach waited for him along with the Rangers General Manager. A piece of white paper lay on the table beside them with a pen.
Coach grinned at him, and Callen’s mouth fell open a little. “Your agent has been trying to reach you,” he said, motioning for him to take a seat.
“My phone has been off.”
“Well, I don’t think we need him anyway. I think you’ll like our offer.”
Callen sat at the table, the contract a blur, but a couple words managed to stick out.
Four years.
He be in New York for at least four more years. He couldn’t get his name on the paper fast enough. They all congratulated him, and he nodded and smiled. He had to call his mom and dad and tell them the news. Then he would have to find Henrik and the others.
And Penny. He couldn’t deny it. He wanted to tell Penny most of all.
He wanted to stay in Manhattan, but he didn’t want to be there alone. He wanted that picture perfect morning back. Her at his table, wearing his clothes as her laughter filled the empty space of his apartment and his heart. Callen needed time to think and figure out the mess in his head. He thought of Penny, and her words came crystal clear in his mind.
A happy place.
He needed to go to his happy place, calm down, and get himself together. Then he would find her. He’d tell her he loved her too. He ran back down to the locker room. Henrik was gone. Callen grabbed his skates and went to the practice rink that sat as empty as the locker room. The team wouldn’t arrive for practice for hours. It would be the final practice before the last regular season game. Callen tugged on his skates and laced them up.
When he stepped on the ice, he closed his eyes. He imagined the creek bank in Anahim. The choppy ice that caused his muscles to work twice as hard. It felt familiar. Calm and quiet. His breathing evened out as the thoughts his mind slowly started to unravel from their twisted knots. But something was wrong.
Lonely.
He opened his eyes, staring out at the empty rink. He was alone, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to be.
“Callen.”
He whipped around, almost stumbling over his own feet and his stupid pride. Standing at the edge of the ice, wearing a pair of skates and trying to balance herself, was Penny. All of her hair was down, and she had that beaded flower headband on. She skated toward him, wobbly and unsure of herself, but determined.
He smiled at the beautiful sight of her. “I was getting ready to come find you.”
Her sad eyes shined. She grinned back at him. “I got tired of waiting.”
He skated toward her, and the action caught her off guard. She lost her balance, and her feet flew out from underneath her into the air. She landed hard on her ass. He sprinted to her. “Are you okay?”
She wiped her hair away from her face, but she laughed “A little embarrassed, maybe.”
He bent down on his knees in front of her and lifted her chin up. “I love you, too.”
Her laughter caught in her throat. “Really?”
“Of course. I should have told you that night. I’m sorry.”
She touched his cheek. “I’m the one who should—”
His lips cut her off. He wouldn’t let her suffer any longer. He couldn’t let himself suffer. He needed her. “I signe
d a new contract,” he said against her lips. “I’m staying in New York. Stay with me. Not because your brothers are here, but because I am.”
“I go where you go.” She kissed him. Really kissed him. “I’ll stay where you stay.”
He pulled her to him. He lost his balance and fell back on the ice, but didn’t break the kiss. He finally felt better. This was his happy place. Not the rink. Not a lonely place on a frozen creek in the mountains, but Penny. Anywhere with Penny.
Chapter Twenty-One
CALLEN’S BEST MAN
Callen jerked at the bowtie around his neck. It felt like a noose. A very hideous, unnecessary noose. Sam laughed behind him. “Messing with it isn’t going to make it magically disappear.”
He glared in the mirror at Sam. “I can’t believe you let her talk us into this. I mean, suspenders? I feel like I need a walking cane and a banjo.”
Sam placed his hand on Callen’s shoulder. “It’s Magnolia’s wedding. She gets what she wants. Besides, this doesn’t compare to what Drew has planned for you next fall.”
“You tell your boyfriend I’ll fly to Alberta for your wedding, but I’m not wearing another bowtie.”
Sam pulled him away from the mirror. “You’re in Georgia, Cali. You’re going to blend in with the crowd. Stop worrying yourself about it. Besides, no one is going to be looking at our ties, anyway.”
Sam held out his hand, showcasing the shiny Stanley Cup Champion ring on his finger. He turned it back and forth, causing it to glisten in the light. Callen glanced down at his own and smiled. It was fucking magnificent. Every time he looked at it, it caused the emotion of that night to swell back up in his chest. The entire night was still a blur. He remembered raising the Cup in front of the crowd at Madison Square Garden…in front of his family. Penny sat in her regular seat in the fifth row with his parents, her arms around his mom. Both of them crying with happiness. In that moment, the Cup held high above his head, he wasn’t alone. And he knew, without a single ounce of doubt, he’d never be alone again.
He held his ring up next to Sam’s, still smiling at the wonderful memory. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
Callen finally gave up fighting his bowtie and let Sam drag him into the other room. The guys were stationed at the pool house to get ready for the wedding that would take place outside the giant white antebellum house in Atlanta. It belonged to Magnolia’s grandparents and been in their family forever. Luckily for them, the pool house had a built-in bar. Callen grabbed a glass of spiked tea off the counter and sat on the stool next to Austin. “Look at you, pretty boy,” he said, nudging Austin’s elbow. “I never thought I’d see you cleaned up this nice.”
Austin had cut his playoff beard off, and cut his hair in the past week. “Tease all you like, Cali. You’ll be sitting in my place before long.”
“Penny and I are taking it slow. We’re enjoying being a couple right now.”
“Speaking of that,” Henrik said from across the room. He sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. “I don’t remember you asking me permission to date my little sister.”
Austin snorted. “I’m sorry. When did that become a rule?”
“Leila doesn’t count,” he said, waving away his transgressions with a flick of his wrist. “This is about Callen right now.”
Austin rolled his eyes. “Don’t let him intimidate you, Cali. Anything you do with his sister is just payback he deserves.”
Callen smirked. “There is a bathroom at the reception hall, right?”
Henrik stood, fire in his eyes. Callen held his hands up in surrender. “Only joking. Calm down.”
Henrik stalked over and jabbed him in the arm anyway. Even though it hurt, Callen couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re taking this big brother thing seriously.”
“He learned from the best,” Austin said with a grin.
“That’s right. And if I remember correctly, I got a bloody nose for breaking the code. So you better watch yourself, Copley.”
He used his last name. Henrik was definitely serious. “Noted, Captain.”
There was soft knock on the door. Henrik walked over to answer it, still throwing a threatening glare in his direction. He peeked around the curtain in the window first to check who it was. “Incoming.”
Henrik pulled the door open, revealing his wife, and more importantly, Penny. Callen immediately stood. Henrik kissed his wife. “What can I help you ladies with this fine afternoon? Everything going okay with the bride?”
“Magnolia is fine. Her sisters are crying messes, but she’s fine,” Leila said, taking her husband by the hand.
Penny stepped inside, her blue eyes shiny. She had on a long black lace dress with a black satin ribbon around the waist, held together by a silver brooch. It was the one from her dresser he never saw her wear. It must be for special occasions only.
The neckline of the dress plunged deep. No wonder she hadn’t let him peek into the dressing room during her final fitting last week. Callen’s voice caught in his throat as he tried to speak, but no sound came out of his mouth. Her normally long blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun at the nape of her neck, held together by a single daisy. Her smile was instant. “We actually came to steal him.”
Callen’s eyes rounded while Henrik’s narrowed. “Why do you need Callen?”
“Drew is getting a bit bored over in the house and could use some company,” Leila said, patting Henrik’s arm.
“I told him to come over here and hang out with us.”
“I know, but he feels obligated to stay with us, since Magnolia asked him to be a part of her wedding party.”
“Then take Sam.”
Penny huffed. “You’re not trying to play big brother on me again, are you?”
Henrik crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not playing.”
Penny walked over and grabbed Callen by the hand. “I’m stealing him for an hour. I promise to bring him back in one piece.”
Henrik grabbed him by the arm before Penny could usher him out the door. “I’m warning you, Copley.”
Callen smirked. “What? Not to do anything you wouldn’t do?”
Henrik lunged for him, but luckily Leila intervened. “Go have a drink,” she said, pushing a scowling Henrik toward the bar. Do your best man duties.”
Henrik begrudgingly let them go, and once outside Callen turned on them. “Drew didn’t request me, did he?”
Leila laughed. “No. Drew is pleased as punch over there in the middle of Magnolia and all her sisters. He’s telling them every embarrassing Austin story he knows, and trust me, he knows a lot.”
“Then why steal me away?”
Leila simply smiled and walked away. Penny snapped one of his suspenders.
“Hey—”
She grinned mischievously up at him. “It’s been a long day, and I missed you.”
“So…Leila just volunteered to help you sneak me out of there?”
“What can I say? She’s an awesome sister-in-law.” She pushed him up against the side of the house and kissed him.
“I’m really hoping this is the only reason you wanted to see me.”
She hummed lightly against his lips, apparently considering the idea. “Not exactly.”
“There’s more?”
A coy smile captured her face. “I want to show you something.”
“Okay.”
Penny bit her lip and glanced around them. “We need to go somewhere private.”
He laughed and kissed her again. “You’re going to get me in so much trouble. I can already tell.”
“C’mon, I know a place.” She tugged his hand, and he followed. Of course he followed her. Penny could lead him anywhere, and he would stumble behind her, blind and happy in his oblivion. Of course, that was until she pulled him into the guest bathroom on the main floor of the house. People chatted in the kitchen just on the other side of the wall. He glanced around, panic rising in his chest. �
��This is a horrible idea.”
“It’s just a bathroom.”
“Ask your awesome sister-in-law what happened in just a bathroom the next time you get her alone. Henrik will kill me, and Austin will help him hide the body because I should know better.”
Penny laughed. “I only want to show you my new tattoo.”
Callen scooted back. “Tattoo? When did you get a tattoo?”
Penny giggled, pulling him away from the door. “Last night at the bachelorette party. I’m a Rylander, and that’s sort of a thing we Rylanders do.”
“You got drunk and went to a tattoo parlor?” He leaned back, eyeing her. “Are you sure I want to see this tattoo? Or do you need me to make you an appointment with a laser removal specialist?”
Penny turned around, flashing the bare skin of her exposed back to him. “Unzip my dress.”
Callen locked the door then checked it to make sure it worked. “When your brother kills me, will you at least tell him it wasn’t my idea?”
Penny didn’t answer; she merely smirked at him across her shoulder. He touched the zipper, peeling it down inch by inch. The tips of his fingers grazed against the perfect, smooth skin of her back. He eyed the back of the black bra, his thumb pausing at the clasp, but he continued to unzip the dress down to her waistline. There was nothing but beautiful, untainted ivory skin as far as he could see. “Exactly where is this tattoo located?”
Penny reached around and pulled the fabric at her hip over. There was a small tattoo above her hip bone. It was a compass, outlined by the petals of a daisy. Written around it in small cursive were the words: Always follow your true north.
Callen ran his fingers over it. “It’s not pointed at true north.”
“Yes, it is. The needle is pointed at my heart.” Penny turned around. “I will always follow it because it led me to you.”
Callen kissed her. Screw taking it slow. “I love you.”
Penny smiled against his lips. “I love you too.”
His hand itched at the open seam of her dress. One quick flick of his wrist and he could have it on the floor.
The Girl With Daisies (Midtown Brotherhood #3) Page 17
