I took a deep breath. The first raindrops fell, moistening my brow. I opened my mouth, stuck out my tongue, and closed my eyes. Gathering strength.
I stood up, still holding the rail. The next moment, I filled my lungs with oxygen and then I screamed like I’d never screamed before. Perhaps it was the fear I’d felt in the last few days when I’d been locked in the cabin finally being aired. Tomas and Roger pitched toward me.
I pointed dumbly into the water.
“There,” I gasped, before taking another gulp of air and screaming again.
They pushed past me and peered into the water and at that moment I took a step back and gripped the oar. I raised it. Swung it at the two of them. I knew I had to hit them both at the same time. As the oar came careering toward them, Tomas turned around. But he didn’t have time to react or do anything to protect himself. The oar hit them at chest height and flung them over the rail. Just before I heard the splash from the water, I heard a cry.
I let go of the oar and stumbled forward to watch them disappear and die.
Tomas had somehow managed to catch hold of the rail and was holding on desperately. His gaze was filled with horror as our eyes met. I contemplated him silently.
“Please, help me,” he begged.
His hand was cramping and his knuckles were turning white. He tried to grab hold with the other hand to heave himself up. Quietly, I leaned forward. I opened my mouth, put my teeth on his finger, and bit down.
He roared with pain.
I sunk my teeth in, biting all the way down to the bone, and eventually he let go. He fell, screaming. Hit the surface. Then he disappeared beneath it and there was silence.
David called just as Faye had parked the car in the underground garage and was heading upstairs in the elevator. He explained he was going to be late. Hassle from Johanna. Again. She was demanding money from him, otherwise she was threatening to call around to his colleagues in the world of finance to slander him.
“The other day, she said she was going to report me to the police for assault. I’m only putting up with this for the girls’ sake. But I can’t wait until this is over—when it’s just you and me.”
“Me too.”
David sounded so resigned. If only Ylva had heard this call, she would probably have reconsidered her attitude—and then some.
Sure, she’d been to dinner with Johanna a couple of times. But people showed off their best sides in social settings—they’d rather donate a kidney than show a crack in the perfect façade. Humans were herd animals whose worst nightmare was exclusion from the community. Of course someone like Johanna Schiller could show her warm, human side for a couple of hours. And there was nothing to say that she had always been the way that David now described her as being. People changed, as she kept saying. She, of all people, knew that.
When Jack had left Faye, she had also descended into a spiral of madness. She had completely forgotten who she was. And why.
She said goodbye to David—he promised he would be there at nine—just as the elevator stopped on her floor. She opened the door quickly, looked left and right to make sure that Jack or her father wasn’t waiting for her, and then rapidly unlocked the door and security grille.
The apartment was empty and desolate. Beautiful without feeling like a home. A home needed life, other people, a story.
Faye put down her bag, opened the sliding doors onto the terrace to let in some air, and settled down on one of the white sofas in the living room. She missed Julienne and her mother so much. She pulled out a folder of Revenge papers with outlines for the American products she needed to approve, but she skimmed the documents without enthusiasm. Sighed. Put them down on the coffee table.
She couldn’t do it. Not tonight. Why should she spend loads of time on the American expansion when she was going to lose her company anyway?
She reached for her mobile and sent a text to Alice.
I have to get out tonight. Meet me by Strandbryggan and I’ll make sure David comes there.
At Strandbryggan, the party was already in full flow. A DJ was playing Avicii, a yacht adorned with the restaurant’s logo was just casting off, and on deck there were two dozen happy twenty-somethings bouncing up and down.
“I feel old,” Faye muttered as they stood in line.
“Not me. Quite the reverse, as it happens. I’m sucking up their youth,” said Alice. “By the way, this is the first time we’ve seen each other since you and David decided to move in together. Congratulations.”
They hugged and Faye took in Alice’s warm scent of vanilla.
Alice was more beautiful than ever. She was wearing a short white dress along with some stratospheric heels that were catching the eye of all the young guys. Faye couldn’t help but smile. A couple of years ago she would have been annoyed and jealous of the attention.
Alice smiled at two guys with face tattoos. The unique thing about her was that she fit in wherever she went. Men of all classes, all backgrounds, all ages, were dazzled by her.
Bringing her on board Revenge had been a stroke of genius, Faye thought to herself with satisfaction.
The maître d’, a young guy with glossy brown hair and wearing a white polo shirt and shorts, gave Faye a look of recognition.
“To be honest, we’re full tonight, but what wouldn’t I do for two such incredible beauties,” he said, waving them over to a table.
Alice chortled happily, while Faye rolled her eyes.
“Pompous ass,” she muttered.
He stopped at the table, drew out their chairs to let them sit down, and then gestured to a waiter.
“Get the ladies something to drink while they decide what they’re eating.”
Before long, they each had a glass of bubbly.
“How was the trip to Madrid?” Alice asked.
Faye smiled.
“That good?” Alice remarked, raising her glass.
They let their glasses meet with a chime and both burst out laughing at the same time, putting on affected voices.
“Vulgar!”
They laughed again and took a few generous mouthfuls.
“Where’s David?” Alice asked. “I’d like to meet him and ask what he did to net you.”
“He’ll be here a bit later. You’ll get to meet him.”
“Finally.”
The annoyance that Faye had felt for the last couple of hours had immediately lifted in Alice’s company. Life felt uncomplicated. Fun. Exciting.
They ordered parmesan-crusted prawns on sourdough and a bottle of white wine, then they settled back. A boat with wide-eyed tourists passed by slowly, the waves from the boat making the wooden jetty they were sitting on bob pleasantly.
Her thoughts about David and Johanna slid away. Alice told her that Henrik had initiated a campaign to win her back. He had promised to change, go to couples’ therapy, and work less.
Alice clenched her fists in irritation while rattling off all the promises.
“What do you feel like doing about it?” Faye asked.
“Nothing. A woman can put up with so much, but eventually her tolerance runs out. And life is more fun now. I loved just being a mom, focusing on my home, the kids, because it was a pleasant and sheltered life. But I’m never going to be dependent on a man again. Nor am I ever going to be an extra in my own life again. And I’m certainly not going to accept the combination of a tiny dick and some dodgy technique.”
Faye snorted with laughter. Then she said: “Alice, there’s something I have to ask…”
“Just a sec,” said Alice, raising a finger. “I need the ladies’. The booze is going straight through me.”
Alice pushed her chair out and stood up.
Faye watched Alice go and heard a beep from her mobile in her handbag. An Instagram notification. Johanna Schiller had accepted her followe
r request. Just as she was about to go to her profile, Faye saw David step onto the jetty and look around. She put away her phone, half stood, and waved.
David kissed Faye before sitting down next to her. When Alice returned a minute or so later, she and David hit it off almost immediately. Faye noticed that he was affected by her presence, just like all men.
Alice tossed her head back and laughed at something that David had said. He leaned across the table and gesticulated. Alice laughed even more.
They clearly had chemistry. Was it too strong? Faye felt David’s hand on her thigh, and heard their laughter as if through a fog. How well did she actually know David? Should she have taken her conversation with Ylva more seriously? Maybe she should meet Johanna and hear what she had to say?
“Faye?”
The conversation had ground to a halt. She looked from one to the other and back again in confusion.
“What do you think about it? Wouldn’t it be wonderful?”
Alice twinkled at her.
“Sorry, I must have had one too many. What do I think about what?”
David looked at her in concern.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She waved away his worry.
“Just a little dizzy, but I’ve only got myself to blame. And the wine.”
She dutifully threw herself into the conversation, albeit with her thoughts still elsewhere, and she put her hand on top of his.
The fact you were with someone didn’t mean you stopped being attracted to other people. Obviously David thought Alice was attractive. He hadn’t turned into an asexual robot simply because he and Faye were moving in together. Just as Faye did all the time, he too was allowed to find other people sexy, fantasize about them, be turned on by the thought of them, see a woman and want her.
There was something healthy about it. Regardless of what got into your head. Because the knowledge that your partner was attractive kept you on your toes. Ensured that you invested in the relationship. In yourself. If she wasn’t afraid of losing David, would Faye be as attracted to him? People’s driving forces when they were looking for a mate were roughly the same. That was why some individuals were deemed more appealing than others.
But if Faye had known she was the only one that David could have, would she have wanted him?
Wasn’t it just that very knowledge—that Faye had no other options—that had allowed Jack to deceive Faye over and over again? She had had nowhere to go. Couldn’t opt out of him. She had been stuck in her cage. Financially. Emotionally. In her world, Jack had been a god. But in Jack’s world, Faye had been a toy that he knew no one could take away from him.
Prohibit and suppress someone’s thoughts, and they only ended up echoing louder, pummeling with more strength to get out. They went from a figment of the imagination to reality. If David was fantasizing about sleeping with Alice, where was the harm in that? Why leave him wondering? Why not say, “Hey, you two go home together and I’ll see you tomorrow”?
In theory that might have worked. Faye reckoned she had learned enough about emotions and sex in the last couple of years to avoid getting jealous. To understand that a screw was a screw. But she also realized at the same time that she wanted to join in.
The realization hit her with full force: She wanted Alice too. Not as a partner, not to share her life with, but just in the moment. She wanted to consume Alice, her body, her soul. Be reflected in her beauty. Because Alice was attractive. Because she was a goddess.
Unattainable.
She glanced toward Alice. Then she shifted her gaze to David.
She squeezed David’s hand tighter.
She felt the idea take root in her body. Tingle. Grow stronger.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit loud?” she said. “Why don’t we go back to the apartment?”
The logs in the fireplace glowed orange and red, and the hue they cast made Alice’s and Faye’s dancing bodies look like flickering shadows on the white walls. The terrace door was open and ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” was seeking its way out and marrying with the light summer night.
They raised their fists toward the ceiling and then formed their hands into microphones, yodeling along with the chorus.
David was sitting in an armchair sipping a whiskey. He had loosened the top buttons on his shirt. His eyes were cloudy and inebriated. A smile was playing on his lips. Faye loved to see his smile—it turned her on and made her wet.
“Dance with us,” she called out, waving at him to join them.
She felt her power when he stood up and came toward them. He was with them on their terms—hers and Alice’s. They had invited him, not the other way around. They were in charge of the tempo, the rhythm. They were leading the dance.
Faye realized at that moment that she’d never seen David dance, but he let loose, took a couple of dance steps to one side, and then shimmied back to them.
“I haven’t been this drunk since I graduated from high school,” he said.
“Me neither. And I’ve definitely never danced this much,” Alice hooted.
The combination of dance and booze had made Faye lose all the tension and worry that she had been carrying around inside. All that mattered was right here and right now, in this room. Two people who meant a lot to her on a bright summer’s night in Stockholm.
The rest could wait. The world could wait.
The ABBA song faded away, to be replaced by First Aid Kit’s “Fireworks.”
They leaned back, reached into the air with their hands, and sang along.
Alice’s blond hair was down, her body moving rhythmically, sensually, without her even thinking about it—although she was probably aware of how beautiful she was. A moment later, Faye pulled Alice to her and kissed her.
Her lips were soft and moist. Her tongue tasted of mint and alcohol. They were pressed against each other, and when Alice nuzzled Faye’s lower lip, it ran through her like an electric shock.
Faye turned her head. David had returned to the armchair and seemed to be bewitched as he watched them without saying a word. She could feel Alice’s hard nipples through her dress against her own. They held each other while looking teasingly at David.
She could tell that Alice was in. There was something in their kisses that had gone from playful to hungry in a way that couldn’t be misinterpreted.
She and Alice moved toward David and stopped right in front of him. Faye stepped behind Alice and slowly pulled the straps of her dress outward and down over her upper arms. The dress slipped slowly off Alice’s body and settled in a small heap at her feet, leaving her naked between David and Faye. David gaped, but didn’t move. Instead, he sat completely still with the whiskey glass resting against his thigh, his gaze fixed on Alice.
“Do you like her?” Faye asked, stroking Alice’s nipples.
Alice groaned and tilted her head back onto Faye’s shoulder. Faye allowed her hands to slowly wander down. In between Alice’s legs. She found her wetness and stroked her the same way she loved to stroke herself.
“Do you like her?” she asked again.
David nodded slowly. He had unbuttoned his trousers and pulled out his rock-hard cock and was slowly caressing it top to bottom with his right hand. Faye carried on stroking Alice for a while as David’s hand moved up and down.
Alice took a step forward to David. She straddled him. She ground back and forth on his thigh in time to the music. She ignored his cock and forced his hands away from it. Instead, she began to rub against it, but without taking it. Faye went behind the armchair and unbuttoned David’s shirt. She drew her fingers around his nipples in circles and gently pinched them. Then she began to stroke Alice’s nipples. She leaned across David, and her and Alice’s mouths met with wet tongues, while Alice continued to move up and down, grinding against his penis.
It was as if David were
paralyzed—he was in their power.
“Touch her,” Faye whispered, grabbing hold of his hand and placing it on one of Alice’s breasts.
Faye stood up and undressed completely, pulled Alice toward her, kissed her, and then pressed Alice’s head between her legs. Faye groaned and braced herself against the wall.
David looked questioningly at Faye and she nodded. He quickly tore off his own clothes and came to stand next to Faye, in front of Alice. Faye nodded in response to Alice’s unspoken question. She wasn’t jealous. She was the one who was sharing. David. Alice. Right here, right now, there was no one who owned anyone else.
Alice was on her knees, swapping between them to satisfy them both. Faye met David’s gaze, smiled slightly, bit her lip, and took a firmer grasp on Alice’s hair.
“Now it’s our turn. You can watch. Come on.”
Faye took Alice’s hand and pulled her over to the sofas. Alice lay down on her back on one sofa, and Faye lay down on top of her in the reverse direction with Alice’s tongue between her legs. She in turn began to slowly lick Alice. From the corner of her eye, she saw David sit down beside them, his hand moving up and down slowly.
Her eyes darkened with pleasure as Alice licked her. When she felt the orgasm begin to build inside her, she let it explode, and she cried out loud. She stopped licking Alice, rolled to one side on the huge sofa, and looked at David meaningfully.
“I want to see you with her,” she said.
He got up and came over.
Alice got on all fours and presented her ass to David, who quickly penetrated her. Faye felt the excitement shooting through her body in waves as David thrust harder and harder. She began to stroke Alice’s clitoris and she could feel his hard cock striking her hand. With her spare hand, she caressed his balls—they were hanging there loose and warm.
“Do you like that?” she asked him hoarsely, despite the answer being clearly written on his face.
After a while, Faye couldn’t hold herself back—she wanted him. Her entire pussy was throbbing and hot with wetness and desire. She positioned herself next to Alice on all fours too, and he swapped to her. Inebriation meant she saw everything as if through a mist: the light, their naked bodies, the crackling fire.
Silver Tears Page 19
