He put his arm around her and swooped her up. “I’ll carry you with your shirt wide open, then.”
“Jace,” she couldn’t help but smile. “Put me down and put your shirt on. And your boots.”
When he put her down and smiled, Bree thought she’d lose her footing. Did he know how disarmingly gorgeous he was? And it wasn’t just when he smiled.
They’d been back at Bree’s for a couple of hours at least, and must’ve fallen asleep. Jace tried to ignore his ringing phone, but whoever it was called over and over again, until he finally picked it up.
“Yeah?”
“You and me are havin’ dinner with the Rinaldos tonight. I’m bringin’ Renie. You bring Bree.”
“I’ll ask her—”
“Don’t ask her, bring her.”
Jace hung up, shaking his head.
“What was that about?”
“We’re invited to have dinner with Ty Rinaldo and his wife tonight.”
“Okay…well, uh…”
“We are, as in you and me. Billy and Renie too.”
“Why would I go?”
Jace pulled her into him and cupped her bottom with his big hands. “So you can spend more time with me, darlin’, that’s why.”
She rested her hands on his shoulders. “It isn’t as though I bring much to the table…so to speak. I think I’ll take a pass, Jace.”
He let go of her and turned to look out the window. The rock that just landed in the pit of his stomach was quickly growing into a boulder.
“We’re back to I’m me, and you’re you,” he shrugged. “That what you’re tryin’ to say?”
“Essentially.”
He remembered her using that word before too. “Time for me to mosey on down the road, then, I guess.” If she was going to treat him like a cowpoke who wasn’t good enough for her, he might as well act the part.
“Jace—”
“What, Bree?”
“We’re so—”
He held up his hand. “I hear ya, sister. No further explanation necessary.” He reached around her waist, pulled her up against him, and looked into her eyes. Her lips were so close, so tempting. “Good enough to share your bed, but not quite good enough to share a meal with. Got it.”
Her eyes were open wide, her pupils dilated. That’s right—he turned her on; she wanted him. He could carry her back into the bedroom and spend the rest of the day there with her. But when it came time to leave for dinner, she’d push him out the door.
He let her go and made his way past her, into the bedroom. He pulled on his boots and picked his shirt up off the floor.
“Don’t leave like this,” she said from the doorway. He didn’t answer. He walked past her again, not allowing himself to even look at her, and out the front door.
Bree heard the truck start. She wanted to follow him out the door, ask him not to leave, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. The truck was idling. Was he going to change his mind and come back inside? She held her breath until she heard the sound of tires on the gravel. He wasn’t coming back.
It took her a few minutes to realize she couldn’t have followed him if she wanted to. Her car was still at Tucker and Blythe’s place.
“Can you come pick me up so I can get my car?” she asked Blythe later.
“Of course, I could even bring it over, but why didn’t Jace bring you back with him? He was just here a few minutes ago.”
“It’s a long story.”
“Uh oh.”
“I don’t feel like talking about it right now.”
“I’ll see if Tucker will follow me over, that way you won’t have to drive me back.”
A half hour later, Bree heard a car in the driveway. When she looked out, it was her car, but her sister wasn’t in it: Liv was.
She opened the front door just as Liv walked up the porch steps.
“Hi. Uh, thanks for bringing my car back.” Bree looked past Liv to see if anyone had followed her over.
“I told Ben I’d text him when I wanted him to pick me up. I want to talk to you, Bree.”
Bree stood back and held the door open for Liv. “Please, come in. Can I get you anything?”
“A cup of coffee would be nice, if you have some made.”
“Cream and sugar?”
“Just cream.”
Bree went into the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee, got the cream out of the refrigerator, and set it in front of Liv.
“What do you want to talk to me about?”
Liv patted the couch. “Come and sit down with me.”
Bree sat next to her and clutched one of the throw pillows in front of her, like a shield. Liv grabbed it and threw it across the room.
“What are you doing?” Bree gasped.
“We’re going to have a very frank and honest talk, Bree. No hiding, even behind pillows.”
Bree’s cheeks turned pink. She picked up her coffee and took a swig, rather than a sip. “I probably should’ve added some brandy to this,” she muttered.
“Probably.” Liv turned her body so she was facing Bree, and took Bree’s hands in hers.
“Honey,” she began, “you know that I know what you’re going through.”
Bree blinked her eyes, trying not to cry.
“I’m not here to talk to you about Zack; I’m here to talk to you about Jace.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s time you stopped using your dead husband as a shield, just like you were using that pillow, against moving on with your life.”
Bree opened her mouth to argue, but decided to hear Liv out instead.
“You’re so much like your mother,” Liv laughed. “You’ve got it all together. You know the answer before anyone else asks the question. But when it comes to seeing what’s best for yourself, it’s harder to have accurate situational awareness.”
Bree thought Liv sounded like Zack. The next thing she’d say would be that Bree needed to get a vector on things.
“Look at me,” she said to Liv. “How long can this thing with Jace last? Let’s be honest.”
“Why can’t it last?”
Bree looked at the ceiling. “Because we’re so…”
“So…what?”
Bree laughed. “Because I’m me, and he’s…him.”
“You’ve lost me.”
“I’m a buttoned-up intellectual who has had sex with exactly two men in her life. The second of which was only yesterday.”
“And Jace?”
“Jace is a hot cowboy who conveniently falls in love with women who he knows very well aren’t available.” Bree made the sign of quotation marks to emphasize her words.
“You believe it’s intentional?”
“Of course it’s intentional.” She rolled her eyes. “Come on, his radar is uncannily accurate.”
“He’s using you, is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m convenient. I’ve never seen two people thrown together in a more convenient way than Jace and I have been.”
“He cares about you, Bree.”
“And I care about him, but what does that have to do with anything?” Bree shook her head. “In two weeks I’ll be teaching at the Air Force Academy, and Jace will be…I don’t know what he’ll be doing. Raising livestock? Can you really see me mucking stalls?”
As soon as Bree said the words, she regretted them. “I’m sorry, Liv. That wasn’t what I meant.”
Liv didn’t say anything, and with every moment of silence, Bree felt worse. She hadn’t meant to insult her.
“Tell me how you see him.”
“Him who? Jace?”
“Of course Jace. Who else would I be talking about?”
“He’s a good man…”
“No, deeper. If I didn’t know him, how would you describe him to me?”
Bree smiled. “Well, first of all, he’s hot as all get-out.”
Liv laughed. “You sound just like Lyric.”
“It was intentional.”
“
What else?”
“He’s a cowboy, through and through. A real cowboy. I used to go out to Billy’s and watch the two of them buck broncs.”
“And?”
“He’s honorable. When I said he’s a good man, he really is. He’s kind, and he cares about his family.” Bree stopped talking and put her face in her hands. “He’s as patient as he is stubborn, and he certainly thinks he knows what’s best.”
“Sounds familiar,” winked Liv.
Bree smiled. She deserved that. Liv had known her and her sisters since they were little girls. Bree had always had a reputation as a know-it-all. She was definitely the best student among the three girls. Brooke got married right out of high school; who knew what might’ve become of Blythe if she hadn’t met Tucker. But Bree had known she’d go to college, and not just for a regular degree. Even without them talking about it, there had been an assumption between Zack and her that she’d continue her education until she had her Ph.D.
“That’s Jace. Let’s talk about you now.”
“What about me?”
“Your mom and I have had many conversations about how much you’re like her. It isn’t just her; you’re like me too.”
“I am? I mean, uh, thank you.”
“You’re so independent. When Zack was alive, you let some of your independence go. You relied on him. The two of you made decisions together. Now that you don’t have him to talk to, you believe you’re left alone to make decisions.”
Bree shrugged. “In a way, I suppose.”
“Let’s talk hypothetically for a minute. Say you decided to try to make things work with Jace. What would it look like?”
Bree stood and looked out the window. “That’s just it. I can’t imagine it. Not long-term anyway.”
“Try harder. Close your eyes. Tell me what you and Jace look like together.”
Bree closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t, Liv. I can’t see us together.”
“Because you don’t want it?”
“Whether I want it or not, it’s impossible.”
“Why?”
“I’m here, at least for the time being, and he’s God knows where. He’s everywhere. It isn’t as though he’s just going back to Montana. He’ll be on the road most of the time.”
“Uh huh.”
“What?”
“I’m challenging you, Bree. Spend some time imagining what your life might be like with Jace. What if there were no right or left margins? What might it be like?”
Bree heard someone pull in the driveway. Liv stood. “That’ll be my Ben.”
“I thought you were going to text him.”
“He’s amazing that way, knowing what I need, or that I need him, before I know myself.” Liv winked at Bree.
“Oh, and by the way, I’m throwing another challenge your way. Go to dinner tonight. They’re meeting at the Villa at seven. Join them. I think you’ll be surprised by what you learn if you do.”
A few hours later, Bree decided to accept Liv’s challenge. She walked over to the Villa. It wasn’t a long walk, and after dinner, she’d be better off not having her car. It would give her an excuse to invite Jace back to the house.
She pulled the heavy front door open and waited for her eyes to adjust. She looked into the bar area and saw Billy and Renie, but Jace wasn’t at the table with them. She looked around and saw him standing at the bar, but he hadn’t seen her. He was too distracted by the blonde cowgirl whose every word he seemed to hang on.
She’d seen that look on his face before, earlier that morning, right before he’d talked her back into bed. It hadn’t taken Jace Rice twenty-four hours before he moved on to his next conquest. It was just as Bree had expected it to be.
She slunk out before anyone saw her. At least she hoped no one had. How humiliating. Everything she’d thought about Jace Rice was true. Even the things she hadn’t said. Jace was a cowboy, all right. A cowboy who could easily have a different girl in his bed every night of the week. She’d been the Friday night girl. The blonde at the bar would be Saturday night’s.
She could no more hold Jace’s attention than she could muck out a stall. It wasn’t that she thought she was above it. Liv misunderstood, and Bree hadn’t tried to explain what she really meant. She couldn’t see herself doing it, because she didn’t know how.
If Blythe had been the one to walk into the bar, in her place, she would have sauntered up to Jace, insinuated herself between him and the blonde, and staked her claim on her man. Bree could never have done that.
Instead of going home, she walked over to the bar on the corner. They’d have live music tonight. Maybe she’d run into someone she knew. It wouldn’t be unusual in the small community they lived in. She just had to be sure she sat somewhere that she wouldn’t have a view of the front door of the Villa. The last thing she wanted to see tonight was Jace leaving with the blonde.
A few minutes after they ordered, Ty got a call on his cell phone. In addition to raising bulls, he was an EMT with the local fire department. He wasn’t on duty, but there’d been an accident, on the highway, severe enough that they were calling everyone in to help. He wouldn’t have time to stop at the fire house, he told them, he’d have to go straight to the scene. He looked over at his wife.
“Go,” she told him. “I’ll get home. Now go.”
He raced out of the restaurant. His wife got up and went to the bar. She didn’t cancel his order, but asked them to pack it to go, so he could eat it later, when he got home. Jace walked over to where she waited.
“We’ll get you home,” he told her when he joined her at the bar.
“Thanks,” she said. “Part of being the wife of a local hero,” she laughed.
“Oh yeah? A hero, huh?”
“Well, he’s my hero. Always has been, always will be.”
The look on her face made the boulder in Jace’s stomach double in size. Why couldn’t he find someone who thought of him that way?
Bree couldn’t help herself. She looked. The sun had set, but there was enough light left that she could see Jace hold out his hand to help the blonde onto the passenger seat of the truck. She also saw the sweet smile she gave him when he did. She felt sick to her stomach. She threw a twenty on the bar, waited for the truck to pull out of the parking lot across the street, and walked home.
13
Billy called another meeting. This time he wanted to map out their schedule. Jace could’ve saved them all a lot of time by telling Billy in advance to just put his name in any slot that needed to be filled.
He was the only one of them without any reason to want to stay home. Billy and Renie had each other and Willow, with another baby on the way. Tucker and Blythe had each other and Cochran. Ben and Liv had each other and Caden. Matt and Will didn’t have any kids, but they had wives. He didn’t have anyone.
How ironic that he’d invested in the ranch because he wanted to get off the road. Instead, he’d be back on it more than he had been before.
“You don’t have to do this,” said Renie, cornering him in the kitchen.
“What’s that?”
“Be a martyr.”
Jace shook his head. “Here I thought you were comin’ to thank me for taking more on so Billy could be at home more often. Instead, you call me a martyr.”
“Good ol’ Jace. Nothing ever bothers him. Never flustered, never a hair out of place.”
“What are you gettin’ at? If you’ve got somethin’ to say, just say it. Quit with all the bullshit, Irene.”
“No one asked you to spend more time out on the road than everyone else.”
“No, no one did. I offered. It isn’t as though I have any reason—”
Renie put her fingers on his lips. “Quit feeling so damn sorry for yourself, Jace. If you want a reason to stay home, make it happen.”
Billy drove one rig, with the bulls. Jace drove the other, carrying the broncs. They were headed back to Montana, from Crested Butte, and hadn’t planned to stop in M
onument, until Bill Senior called his son and told him Bullet left the night before for Oklahoma. Some kind of emergency with one of his kids.
“Detour,” Billy told him when he called his cell—a word Jace hated.
They pulled into Billy’s place two hours later, unloaded the bulls into the various pens, and then took the broncs over to Billy’s parents’ place. Tucker met them there and helped them unload.
“Bree’s at the house,” Tucker told Jace when they finished.
“Does she know I’m here?”
“Wasn’t sure you’d want her to know.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Good call. Sorry I’ll miss seeing Cochran though.”
“Blythe said she’d bring him over when Bree left.”
“That’s nice of her.”
“Jace—”
“Save it, Tuck. I’ve been on the road, I’m beat, and I don’t feel like listening to anything you’re about to say.”
When Jace turned around, Billy stood behind him. “Don’t start,” he barked at him. He walked away, but turned back around.
“It wasn’t so long ago that your lives were as shitty as mine is now. Just because you got what you wanted, and your lives are turnin’ out better than mine, doesn’t mean you get to lecture me. I won’t listen to either one of you. Got it?”
Billy walked away, shaking his head, but Tucker stood his ground. Jace could feel what he was thinking; he didn’t need to hear it.
“You’re right,” Tucker said instead.
Bree was in her second month of teaching at the academy, her second month of wondering what had possessed her to take this on. Everywhere she looked, she saw Zack. It wasn’t the cadets as much as it was the officers.
Every single one of them reminded her of Zack. Most of them knew who she was, and if they didn’t today, they’d know tomorrow. She could tell. The look on their faces changed as soon as they did. One day, they’d smile and say hello; the next, they’d say hello, they might even smile, but their eyes changed. They became clouded with pity.
Every morning, she dreaded making the eight-mile drive from Palmer Lake. She’d park, go to her office, teach, go back to her office, and drive home. Some days she’d stop at the cemetery and sit in the car. She didn’t get out. She didn’t walk over to Zack’s tombstone. She’d close her eyes and wish she was living a different life.
Stay with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 4) Page 14
