Lipstick and Lies

by Viggiano, Debbie

  ‘Now you’re boxing me into a corner.’

  Jamie reached across the handbrake. He caught hold of my fingers.

  ‘Listen to me. You’re my wife. Your well-being and happiness is important to me. I’m not boxing you into a corner intentionally. There are two options here. Either I work with Ethan – and in this case Selina too – or I don’t. I could go back to the police force. Be a cop again.’

  ‘I don’t want to be worrying about you in a job like that. Apart from anything else, we can’t afford our current outgoings on a policeman’s pay.’

  ‘Agreed. We’d have to move. Downsize in order to reduce bills.’

  I bit my lip. And move into what? Even a four bedroomed property – a luxury for many families – would be a squeeze for us. The children wouldn’t have their own rooms anymore. And where would Edna sleep? She often stayed for extended periods of time. Due to fortuitous financial circumstances, we owned our beautiful home outright. Lilac Lodge was a six bedroomed Victorian pile overlooking Lavender Common. It would be a wrench to leave it. And then there were the kids’ horses to think of. They were stabled at Matt and Morag’s equestrian centre. Keeping horses in pony nuts and New Zealand rugs was an expensive business. And thanks to Katie Price pointing a manicured nail at the equestrian industry, it had become even more expensive. Just this very Christmas Petra had insisted Honey, her chestnut mare, simply had to have a raspberry rug complete with coronet motif. It would be pink hoof oil and mane extensions next.

  ‘I know! Tell Selina to turn the job down! Insist on it. Tell her to concoct some excuse to Ethan. She owes you. And me. End of problem.’

  ‘Don’t you think she’s already tried that?’

  I turned to face Jamie. ‘Has she?’

  ‘Yes! She started off telling Ethan that the line of work didn’t interest her. Then she voiced concern over them both living and working together – that it might ruin their relationship. She’s trotted out every excuse under the sun. Ethan won’t take no for an answer. He wants her working for us. And professionally there’s no reason why she shouldn’t.’

  I sighed. Turned to look out the window. My face reflected back at me. Anxious and pinched.

  Jamie gave my fingers a reassuring squeeze. ‘Why don’t we take things one step at a time, eh? Let’s see how this evening goes. You never know, you and Selina might end up good friends.’

  ‘Good fr–?’

  The words died on my lips. Men had no understanding of women’s friendships. None whatsoever. People like Nell and Morag were good friends. Selina could never fall into that bracket. The rest of the journey passed in silence, both of us with our own thoughts.

  Twenty minutes later we shot into the underground car park of a swanky building overlooking the Thames. Jamie reversed into a space next to Ethan’s Mercedes.

  ‘The lift’s over there.’

  Jamie took my hand as we walked across the car park. Our heels echoed. The noise made me shiver. This might be a super-dooper address, but the location wasn’t my cup of tea.

  ‘What floor is Ethan’s?’ I asked.

  ‘Right at the top. The penthouse.’

  The most expensive. Naturally. I wondered how much his place was worth. I was pretty sure Selina was the sort of woman who checked out such things. Ethan had left the police force long before Jamie. He’d branched off into another area. Computers. And being a nerdy type, he’d devised some sort of software that had halted the illegal shenanigans of a geek group. The geeks had been running their own software. Making fake digital money, and then converting it into real money. Ethan had traced an entire network of computers running into thousands – at banks no less. The Governor of the Bank of England had declared such activity had had the potential to destabilise the world economy. Certainly Ethan’s pockets were now lined with gold. And the banks had opened their doors to him. Ethan was – as my mother would have said if still alive – a catch. And clearly Selina had caught him.

  As we stood outside Ethan’s front door, I could feel my heart rate increasing. I made myself take some deep breaths. The door opened and Ethan stood there. Tall, thin, and totally bald. But not in an I-only-shave-my-head-because-I’m-trendy kind of way. Rather No-I-really-don’t-have-any-hair kind of way. His intelligent blue eyes regarded me behind rimless spectacles.

  ‘Welcome,’ Ethan smiled. ‘Do come in.’ He shook Jamie’s hand, and then mine. All frightfully formal. ‘Lena’s in the kitchen putting the finishing touches to something extraordinary. So I’m told anyway.’

  This was a major stab at humour for Ethan. Jamie and I laughed politely as Ethan took our coats.

  ‘How are you Cass?’

  ‘I’m good thank you Ethan,’ I said, feeling anything but. Where was she? As Ethan hung up our coats, my eyes darted around the hallway.

  ‘Come on through. Let me get you both a drink.’

  ‘I’ll have a soft drink,’ said Jamie. ‘I’m the driver tonight. However, I’m sure Cass won’t say no to a G & T,’ my husband winked at me.

  ‘That would be lovely,’ I smiled tightly. Preferably a quadruple. I needed something to soften the blow of this evening.

  We followed our host into a vast ultra modern room. A cathedral-type ceiling soared above our heads. The entirety of one wall was glass. A feature balcony wrapped itself around the penthouse. The City’s twinkling lights filled the room. It was an amazing living area. I looked around. The room appeared to combine lounge, dining room and – my eyes travelled to the far end – a kitchen. It looked like something out of NASA. And there, setting out food on a granite worktop the length of an airport runway, was Selina. She looked up, and gave a dazzling smile.

  ‘Well hello!’ She skirted the runway and came towards us, hands outstretched in welcome. ‘Good to meet you again Jamie.’ She kissed him soundly on both cheeks, continental style, before turning to me with wide eyes. ‘And you must be Cass.’

  I glared at her. If she attempted to kiss me, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. I had an overwhelming urge to shove her back into the space-age kitchen, press a button and launch her into oblivion.

  ‘That’s right. I must say,’ I couldn’t resist winding her up, ‘you look awfully familiar. Have we met somewhere before?’

  Selina feigned consideration. And then shook her head. ‘No. I never forget a face. Or a frock,’ she indicated my red velvet dress. ‘That is sooooo fab. I remember seeing it in the Sales at Harvey Nicks last year. I was desperate to buy one. Regrettably they only had the extra large sizes left.’

  Bitch!

  Jamie caught my expression, and hastily took up the reins of conversation.

  ‘Cheers!’ he raised his glass. ‘A very Happy New Year. And congratulations on the engagement – fabulous news!’

  Selina took a drink from Ethan. ‘Thank you, sweetheart.’ She held her glass aloft. ‘Cheers all!’

  ‘My wife is such a romantic. I’m sure she’d love to know all the details of the proposal, wouldn’t you darling?’

  I bared my teeth in response.

  ‘Oh Cass, it was just dreamy. Wasn’t it honey?’ Selina beamed at Ethan. He inclined his head graciously. ‘We wrapped up nice and warm, went out on the balcony – with champers naturally – and watched the City below. So many people! And in such high spirits. The atmosphere was electric! And then, literally seconds away from midnight, Ethan dropped down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Well I didn’t hesitate. Did I sweetums? Just said, “Yes! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!” And then my voice was drowned out by all the fireworks exploding. Next thing is we’re ripping each other’s coats and clothes off, and making mad passionate love! Right there,’ she waved an arm at the balcony, ‘in front of millions of people,’ she tinkled with laughter, ‘who naturally couldn’t see us! But it was terribly thrilling nonetheless. Not to mention invigorating. There’s nothing like cold air and hot sex! Ethan always makes the earth move for me but, by golly, it was positively shaking with all those fireworks exploding!’ She
rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘I love starting New Year with a bang – if you catch my drift, ha ha!’

  Was she for real? Ethan appeared unembarrassed by this recital of his balcony bonk. His face was expressionless, as if Selina had merely been talking about grocery shopping. He cleared his throat.

  ‘Lena and I would very much like to extend belated Happy Anniversary wishes to you both. Wasn’t it a year ago yesterday you wed in the Bahamas?’

  ‘Indeed it was,’ Jamie put an arm around me and gently kissed my punctured forehead.

  ‘Oh do let me see your ring Cass,’ Selina pretended to be interested.

  I held out my hand.

  ‘Gosh, isn’t your diamond sweet,’ she beamed. ‘I wanted one as small as that but Ethan gave me no choice in the matter, did you darling? Just presented me with a box with this socking great rock in it,’ she waggled her hand under my nose. Socking great rock was indeed an accurate description. I was amazed she could lift her hand. ‘Do you like it?’

  I pretended to study the diamond. ‘Jamie wanted to buy me something similar but I said, “No darling. In this case size isn’t everything.” So I opted for classiness.’

  Selina’s smile froze. An unspoken current passed between us. The gloves were off.

  ‘I simply can’t help noticing your forehead Cass. If I were you I’d sue the beautician who did that Botox job.’

  ‘Botox? Um, no. My cat scratched me.’

  Selina gave another of her tinkling laughs. It was starting to grate on me. ‘Oh is that what you say to everybody. Don’t worry Cass,’ she winked, ‘your secret is quite safe with me.’

  ‘Another drink Cass?’ asked Ethan.

  ‘Yes please,’ I snapped.

  ‘And I just love your black boots Cass. Wonderfully shiny. And those big buckles are perfect.’

  I stared down at my footwear. Where was this conversation going? I didn’t have long to wait.

  ‘Yes, they co-ordinate beautifully with the red dress. Especially at this time of year. You look like Mrs Christmas! You’ve even got a jolly tummy like her hubby. Ho, ho, ho!’

  Dear God. Where was this woman’s off button?

  ‘Gosh you are funny Selina,’ I chortled. ‘Actually I’ve had more compliments wearing this ensemble than hot dinners. Only this evening I was told I looked like a milf.’

  Jamie choked on his lemon slice, Ethan was doing some rapid blinking behind his specs, and Selina’s mouth formed a perfect O. Ah, that had caught her attention hadn’t it!

  ‘Are you sure darling?’ Jamie spluttered.

  ‘Of course I’m sure. Edna told me so.’

  ‘My mother called you a milf?’ Jamie’s eyebrows shot off his forehead.

  ‘Don’t look so shocked darling. Your old mum is perfectly up to date with modern lingo. A very hip-hop-and-happening lady is my mother-in-law,’ I nodded sagely at Selina.

  ‘Ah ha ha ha,’ Jamie forced a laugh. ‘Well I must say dinner smells absolutely delicious!’

  ‘I can’t smell anything,’ I muttered.

  Selina smoothed down her dress. ‘Yes, let’s eat. Everything is ready.’

  We followed her over to the granite runway and climbed onto some tall stools.

  ‘Lena is very creative in the kitchen,’ said Ethan.

  ‘I’m creative everywhere darling,’ she smirked. A starter of raw mushroom soup was set before us. ‘I think you’re going to enjoy this Jamie. You look like somebody who cares about their figure.’ She paused. Gave me a moment to digest the message that I didn’t care about mine. ‘Ethan and I recently discovered the raw food diet. It’s wonderful. Super healthy. Low fat. And leaves you fizzing with energy.’

  I stuck my spoon in the bowl of pale gunk. What was wrong with hot soup?

  ‘It’s all very well working out in the gym, but you need to look after what’s under the bonnet too,’ Selina prattled on. And on and on.

  Nobody else got a word in edgeways as we worked our way through raw Pad Thai Salad, raw ‘Burrito’ lettuce wraps, raw broccoli covered in ‘Alfredo’ sauce and raw Asian-style crunchy salad with sesame vinaigrette. By the time I’d finished munching and crunching, my jaw ached. It was a wonder none of us had turned into Bugs Bunny.

  ‘And finally,’ she chirruped, ‘Carob nut cookies. You just won’t believe how yummy these are.’

  ‘Thanks but I’ll pass,’ I pushed my plate away. ‘I’d love a coffee though.’

  ‘Oh no, Cass. No coffee. Or tea. Not in this house. However,’ she disappeared briefly inside the enormous fridge to extract a large jug, ‘I do have some absolutely delicious raw cashew milk.’

  My stomach chose that precise moment to let out an ominous rumbling noise. It wasn’t a rumble of hunger. More an intestinal protest. Dear Lord. What had her menu done to my insides?

  ‘Could you tell me where the bathroom is please?’

  ‘Back through the hallway,’ Ethan smiled kindly. ‘First door to your left.’

  My tummy now sounded like a washing machine in the grip of a final spin. Suddenly it was of paramount importance to be in that loo.

  ‘Won’t be a mo,’ I squeaked. Leapfrogging the granite runway, I charged off to the bathroom. Whisking up my dress, I lowered my throbbing bottom. I gasped as a spasm of wind twisted my intestines. An explosion echoed around the toilet bowl. Dear Lord. I’d never made a sound like that in my entire life. Beads of perspiration formed on my upper lip as another spasm took hold. I leant forward, hugging my knees as a series of blasts rocked the porcelain and threatened to vandalise the plumbing.

  A quarter of an hour later I dared to stand up – backside sporting a toilet seat imprint – and staggered off to the washbasin. I had surely dropped three dress sizes. My Father Christmas tummy had totally disappeared.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Ethan asked as I staggered back to the table. ‘You look very pale.’

  ‘I’m just a bit tired,’ I smiled apologetically. ‘The joys of having a six month old baby and broken nights.’ Not to mention being disembowelled by your fiancée’s choice of menu.

  Jamie stood up. ‘I think we’d best be making tracks home. Thanks for a fabulous evening guys.’

  We said our farewells before taking the elevator back to the underground car park.

  ‘Well done,’ Jamie squeezed my hand as we walked to the car. ‘You handled it very well.’

  ‘I just want you to know,’ I gingerly lowered my derrière onto the passenger seat, ‘that I am never, ever socialising with that woman again.’

  Jamie sighed as the engine turned over. ‘Hopefully you won’t have to. Not for a very long time anyway.’

  Chapter Five

  The following morning the household was up early. The Christmas holidays were over. Work beckoned for Jamie, and the kids were back to school. My brood piled into The Muck Truck, with Jonas complaining bitterly about an impending maths lesson.

  ‘Well at least you don’t have physics first thing,’ grumbled Petra. ‘What’s the point in studying a subject like that? It won’t benefit my chosen career. When I leave school I want to be a riding instructor!’

  ‘I quite like physics,’ Livvy blushed.

  ‘That’s because you’ve got a crush on Mr Brown,’ said Petra.

  I put the car into reverse. ‘Oh yes? And what’s Mr Brown like?’

  ‘Pukey,’ Toby laughed.

  ‘No he’s not!’ Livvy protested, blushing again.

  The banter continued all the way to Boxleigh Grammar.

  ‘Have a good day all of you,’ I trilled as they piled out, doors slamming after them. I turned to Eddie. ‘Looks like it’s just you and me kiddo.’ My son gave a gummy smile. ‘And Nanny Edna,’ I added.

  Edna had briefly returned to her own home only to reappear trailing a full-size suitcase of clothes. Clearly she was staying a few days. My mother-in-law had now taken over the pull-out bed in the study. She had also appropriated the workshop at the rear of the garage. An awful lot of sawing seemed to be going on.
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  Sure enough, as I pulled up on the driveway, the whine of a planer could be heard. Leaving Edna to it, I let myself into the house. I put Eddie in his playpen and made a start on the laundry. The phone rang. It was Jamie.

  ‘Hi Cassie. I’ll probably be very late this evening. We have a potential new client. The proposals promise to be very lucrative. It calls for a bit of wining and dining. So if you don’t mind, I’ll be passing on your finest beans on toast supper. Instead I’ll have to try and force myself to eat a horrible filet steak. With all the ghastly trimmings.’

  I laughed. ‘My poor husband. The things you suffer for your craft. So, where are you and Ethan taking them?’

  ‘Ethan won’t be there. In fact, as we speak, he should be half-way to America. He’s meeting with the client’s sister company. How about that eh! Soon it could be Fareham & Mackerel International!’ I could sense Jamie rubbing his hands together.

  ‘That’s fantastic. Okay darling, I won’t wait up.’

  ‘Tell the kids I’m sorry not to see them this evening and that I love them loads.’

  ‘Will do. Don’t work too hard.’

  ‘We won’t.’

  We?

  ‘Don’t wait up Cassie. Must go.’

  ‘Jamie?’

  But he’d already clicked off. I stood there for a few moments. Held the whirring receiver with one hand. Clutched the kitchen worktop with the other. My brain digested the conversation. He’d said we. Oh for goodness sake Cass, it was we as in Jamie and the client! But might Selina be there too? She was, after all, now working for the company. Wrong again Cass! Right now she was thirty-five thousand feet up in the air. In an aeroplane. Sitting by Ethan’s side. I exhaled slowly, my heart banging about a bit.

  For the remainder of the day I couldn’t shake a sense of foreboding. When the children came home from school, their chatter went straight over my head. I felt distracted.

  A little before midnight I went to bed. But sleep evaded me. I lay there, troubled but without really knowing why. Eventually I snapped on the bedside lamp. Stared at the telephone. After a moment’s hesitation, I picked up the receiver. Withholding my number, I dialled Ethan’s apartment. The apartment he now shared with Selina. I held my breath as the line connected, and began to ring. Below my ribcage, my heart had started to beat in time to the ring tone. Immediately my conscience began clamouring. What the devil are you playing at Cass? Just because your first husband was a philandering Casanova, it doesn’t mean all men are the same. This is Jamie for heaven’s sake. Your wonderful husband! He’s with a client. In the City. And Selina is in America. Any second now the answering machine will pick up your call confirming that nobody is home and–