by Mike Jung
“Maybe Professor Mayhem invented some kind of indestructible metal,” Max said.
Yeah, right, I almost said, but I realized the idea wasn’t all that crazy.
“The robot is pretty freaking cool,” I said. “Anybody who could come up with something like that probably could invent an indestructible metal.”
“Your dad invented an indestructible something,” George said. “Unbreakable silly string, right? If he could do it, Mayhem could do it.”
“That would be bizarre, wouldn’t it?” Max said. “If Professor Mayhem and your dad both invented some kind of indestructible gizmo at the same time?”
“I guess,” I said. “My dad’s invention is a string, though. That’s pretty different from a robot.”
“Whatever, guys,” Stupendous said. He sat down, crossing his legs and leaning backward on his arms. “So if you think Mayhem’s robot is indestructible, does that mean if we fight again, I’m just totally dead?”
Yes, I thought.
“I don’t know,” Max said.
“Probably,” George said.
“No,” I said. “Dude, what’s your problem? Of course not. And it’s just a theory anyway.”
“Who knows when that nut job is gonna do something crazy again?” Stupendous said. “It could be any minute. He could be out there doing something crazy right now!”
“Yeah, but look at it this way,” I said. “If Mayhem’s robot really is made of some indestructible metal he invented himself, that must mean you’re not as bad at fighting as we thought!”
“That’s true,” Max said. “You didn’t know how to fight like Captain Stupendous, right?”
“I’m really good at fighting,” Stupendous said. “I’m just bad at being a freaking superhero.”
“But now you have some of the moves down,” George said. He stood up and did another one of his half-funny, half-lame fake karate moves. “You actually can fight like Captain Stupendous now.”
“Sort of anyway,” Max said.
“So that means you’ve evened up the odds,” I said. “If you can fight more like Captain Stupendous—”
“Combined with your karate skills!” George said. He did some kind of spazzy fake bird kick, flapping his arms like wings and kicking straight out in front of him.
“—then the only thing we have to worry about is how to destroy a robot that might or might not be indestructible!” I said.
I realized how stupid that sounded right after saying it, just so you know.
“Yeah, sounds like a piece of cake,” Stupendous said. “Stupendify.”
BAMF! And there was Polly, legs crossed, leaning backward. She leaned forward, put her elbows on her knees, planted her forehead on her hands, and stared straight down.
“I’m dead,” she said. Then she slammed her fists down on her legs and said, “AAAUGH,” totally startling the rest of us. She jumped to her feet and started pacing.
“What I need to do is find a way to kick his butt when he’s NOT hiding inside his toy robot like a big loser!”
“Good luck with that,” George said.
On that sarcastic note we decided to play it safe and hustle out of Colossal Dome, because who knew what other crazy leftover evilness was still there? Plus, all of our parents wanted us to come home for dinner that night.
We piled all our stuff into the toolshed and climbed in, grumbling and stepping on each other’s feet. When we took off, Max elbowed me in the side and George stepped on my ankle, but I forgot about that when all three of our phones rang at the same time. That could only mean one thing, and looking at my phone confirmed it:
I blinked, wondering if I’d just read that wrong. It was dark, we were being tossed around inside a toolshed, I’d almost died two or three times already—a guy could easily make a mistake looking at an address, you know? I hoped I’d read it wrong. But I hadn’t, and Max and George hadn’t either.
“Dude, that’s your house,” Max said.
“What … why is he going to …”
“HEY! HEEEEY! POLLYYYYYYYYY!” I hollered. I tried to turn around and pound on the walls of the toolshed, but one of my feet got snarled up with one of George’s feet and I ended up smacking Max on the side of the head.
“OW, DUDE!” Max’s big gorilla hand grabbed my flailing arm and gently forced it away from his head. “Calm down,” he said in what I guess was supposed to be a soothing voice. “Be calm, man, freaking out’s not gonna help.”
“OH, SHUT UP, YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MY HOUSE! WE GOTTA HURRY TO MY HOOOOOUUUUUUSE!”
Max let go of my arm without saying anything.
It’s never a good thing when a supervillain attacks a house where regular people live. And I had a terrible feeling Stupendous’s no-abduction streak was finally over.
“Why are you getting mad at Max?” George said. He sounded honestly confused, which made me want to punch him in the face. “He’s not the one attacking your house.”
“George, don’t—just drop it,” Max said.
“What? I’m just—”
“HEY, STUPENDOUS! HEEEEEYYYYYYY!”
Stupendous must have heard me, because the toolshed lurched, tilted suddenly to about a forty-five degree angle, and stayed that way. Max landed pretty much on top of me, which drove all the air out of my lungs. Was Max wearing cologne? It smelled like he’d just poured a whole bottle over his head. I gasped like a fish out of water as all three of us slid toward the bottom of the shed. It felt like we were moving fast.
Aaaaaand THUNK, we landed hard. Again. It was almost like Stupendous just tossed the stupid toolshed to the ground, though, because it landed on its side. Naturally the side that was on the ground was the side I was on, so George and I ended up with Max on top of both of us.
Stupendous yanked the door completely off the toolshed with a plasticky CRUNCH, tossed it to the side, and looked inside.
“What’s with all the screaming in there?” he said.
“Rough landing,” George said, with a groan.
“I had to come in fast, otherwise all those people down the hill would have seen us.”
“MY HOUSE!” I yelled.
“Vincent, I know this is freaky, but somebody’s gonna hear you,” Max said. “And then they’ll see us up here with Captain Stupendous.”
“Yeah, keep it down, Vincent,” Stupendous said.
I tried to push Max off me but he was too heavy, so I waited until he got up (digging his heel really hard into my shin in the process) and climbed out, then pulled myself out, using the edge of the doorway. George did the same on the other side. We were in Skyside Park, which is on the hill overlooking my backyard. It’s the highest point in our neighborhood, but the middle of the hill is totally covered with eucalyptus trees. It’s probably the best superhero landing spot that’s also anywhere close to my house. You can look through the eucalyptus trees right at my house without being seen.
I got right up to the inner edge of the eucalyptus patch and peeked out from behind a tree, and, yep, I could see my house. Especially the giant hole in the roof. The cops and other people swarming around it were pretty hard to miss too.
“Oh man,” Max said in a soft voice.
I heard Stupendous say “stupendify” somewhere behind me, then Polly and George crept up behind the outermost trees and peeked out too.
DING, DING, DING! It took me a minute, but I at last saw the pattern. I’d thought of the attack on Spud’s as being in my neighborhood, and the weird inspection of the school district building as a totally random thing, but finally I got it.
Spud’s Pizza: my mom’s neighborhood. The school district offices: my mom’s work. My house: my mom’s house. Professor Mayhem was after my mom!
And it looked like he got her.
“You guys, Professor Mayhem’s after my MOM! When he fought Stupendous at Spud’s, he was probably on his way to our house, and during the second fight he wasn’t looking for money, he was looking for my mom’s office!”
>
“Huh.” George scratched his head. “Because she’s the school superintendent? Really?”
“How am I supposed to know WHY?”
“Maybe she wasn’t home?” Polly said.
I pointed at the driveway.
“That’s her car.”
I actually felt cold, which was one of those things I thought only happened in movies. Then I felt weird and bad for thinking about movies when it was pretty clear my mom had just been kidnapped. Then I felt cold again. Maybe my brain was on the fritz—doesn’t shock make stuff like that happen?
“Vincent, don’t—”
I was so spaced out I couldn’t even tell who was talking—it could have been Max, could have been Polly, could have been an intelligent squirrel. It didn’t matter anyway, because I took off running down the hill.
“Vincent! Wait for us!”
I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever run—it’s a miracle I didn’t wipe out on my way down the hill, which is really steep. Not even George kept up with me. I couldn’t tell if the pounding in my ears was the sound of my feet or the sound of my heartbeat, but it was loud. By the time I reached my block I wasn’t hearing anything else, so when Bobby caught me in a bear hug as I ran toward the house, it was a complete surprise.
“—OP, VINCENT, STOP!” he shouted as I collided with him at top speed. “You need to stay out here with me, okay?”
I stared past him at the house, which could have been a set for an action movie, what with the hole in the roof and the giant robot footprints in the lawn.
“OKAY?” Bobby said again. He didn’t yell, exactly, but his voice was still really loud. He grabbed my shoulders, turned me around, and tried to look me in the eye, but I kept trying to look behind me at the house.
“Mom,” I said in a small voice.
“We’re on it, Vincent. We’ll get her back, but right now we need to get you to safety.”
“Get her back … safety … wait, what do you mean?” I pulled back from Bobby, but he kept a solid grip on my shoulders.
“We’re taking you to your father, Vincent, at Corwin Towers. They have the best security in the city. You’ll be safe from Professor Mayhem there.”
“No, no, no, Captain Stupendous … he has to—”
“Captain Stupendous isn’t here.” I actually stopped trying to see the house and looked right at Bobby when I heard that. He sounded seriously bummed out, and kinda mad. “We’re handling this one ourselves, and we need to get you to a safe location, just in case Professor Mayhem comes back. Come on.”
“Wait, wait, wait, Bobby, WAIT!”
Bobby didn’t wait, though. He just hustled me over to a nearby police car, said, “Watch your head,” and pretty much stuffed me into the backseat.
“Go!” he barked at the driver.
I looked wildly around for Polly and the guys, and I spotted them at the edge of the crowd, behind one of those sawhorse barrier things the cops use to separate you from your friends when you really need them. I couldn’t hear but I could see Polly yelling at the cops who were keeping her behind the barrier. She had her fists clenched and her arms stuck out completely straight, and her glossy black hair flipped back and forth as she yelled. Another cop was physically holding George as he kicked and twisted. The cop had a handful of George’s shirt, which was pulled up far enough to show George’s entire stomach. Max, on the other hand, was looking down. As the cop in front of me started the engine, Max bent down slowly, like a ballet dancer with giant shoulders, then stood back up, holding something. It looked like a leaf, or maybe a feather.
The cop car screeched into motion. Two more cop cars pulled out on either side of us, and with sirens blaring and lights flashing, the cops took me away.
Bobby didn’t mess around with my police escort—there was the police car I rode in with two cops, two extra cars driving ahead and behind us, each with two more cops, and I’m pretty sure there was a helicopter flying above us, probably with eleven cops armed with rocket launchers. It was freaky, but it was also the first time ever that Captain Stupendous didn’t even show up for a battle.
Which was my fault, when I thought about it.
I was about ready to start punching myself in the face and never stop when we reached Corwin Towers, right in the heart of downtown Copperplate City. Normally I make a point of looking around down there, because there’s some cool stuff in that part of town, but I was too distracted by the panicky voice yelling, “GAH! GAH! GAH!” in my brain to pay much attention. Next thing I knew, we’d circled the block and driven right into a very brightly lit underground parking garage.
The top level of the garage was full of cars, but then we hit a spiral ramp that went down to a level that was smaller, and full of big, dark, four-door cars that looked like they should be driven by secret agents. There was a bank of elevators at one end of the garage level, and as the cops let me out of the car, one of the elevator doors opened. Out came a bunch of guys in dark suits and headsets, a couple of cops, and my dad.
“Vincent!” Dad must have been as freaked out as I was because he dropped his usual absentminded-professor thing and actually ran over. He pushed his glasses (which had slipped down his nose) all the way back onto his face with his left middle finger and grabbed me. One of the buttons on his shirt dug into my chin, and he smelled a little bit sweaty. I’m not the hugging type, just so you know—usually when I hug Dad it’s only to make him happy—but I have to admit, I felt better when he hugged me really tightly.
“I saw you on TV the other day,” I blurted out for no reason.
“The Kobayashi press conference, eh?” Dad held me at arm’s length, one hand behind my shoulder and the other hand behind my head. “I was terrified that you were at the house when that lunatic attacked, Vincent. I’m so glad you’re all right.”
“Have you …” Geez, I didn’t even know what to ask first, because most of what I wanted to ask I couldn’t ask—was it crazy to think I could help Polly learn how to be Captain Stupendous? What would happen if she didn’t figure it out? Was it my fault Mom got kidnapped? “Have you heard anything about Mom? And do they know who Professor Mayhem is?”
Dad shook his head, which made his hair fall across his forehead. There were maybe a dozen white hairs scattered around on Dad’s head—they looked almost shiny compared to all the black hairs around them. He rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand, fingers spread open. “Nobody knows anything yet.”
“Dr. Wu, we should get you into the fully secure area of the building,” one of the dark-suited guys with the headsets said. His voice was very deep. “Ms. Corwin insists.”
We went back into the elevator with the Corwin security people and the two cops who’d come down with them. We were on level S2, which I guessed was still underground because there were other buttons above it that said S1, G4–G1, B, L, and then numbers from 1 to 100.
“Big building, huh?” Dad said. “Don’t worry, we’re not staying in the underground levels—we won’t have any windows, though. We’ll be in the very middle of the towers.”
“Dad … Professor Mayhem’s got—”
“I know, Vincent.” Dad put his arm around me. “I know. But the police seem to think we’re in danger, and they’re probably right. We’ll be safe here.”
“Mom’s not safe.” And Stupendous is a girl! And I’m stuck in here without my friends! And Mom’s been abducted by a supervillain!
I mean, I was glad Mayhem didn’t kidnap my dad too, but suddenly it felt like the whole world had turned to garbage, you know?
The elevator let us out into a wide hallway with deep blue carpet on the floor, huge framed pictures of buildings all up and down the walls, and a series of big windows to our right. After a few hundred feet we went through a door on the left, down another long hallway, and into a room with a whole mess of security guys standing outside the door. The room had no windows, but there was a couch against one wall, a gigantic TV screen on the opposite wall, and at least four bi
g leather chairs and coffee tables. There were doors on either side of the couch, and through one of them I could see the edge of a bed.
“So what, Dad, are we supposed to live here until somebody rescues Mom?”
“That’s the idea. I don’t like it any more than you do.”
“But … but …”
AAAGH! Secrets! I couldn’t tell Dad about Polly and Captain Stupendous! Stupid secret identities and other secret stuff!
“But what if we can do something, Dad?” I threw myself full length on the couch and let one arm and leg hang off the front of the cushions. “What if we can help?”
“Vincent, there’s nothing we can do.” I was flopped over the whole middle of the couch, but it was big enough for Dad to sit next to me without sitting on my head. “I wish we could.”
“Bobby’s helping.” I felt a streak of anger go through me when I said it. I also felt Dad twitch, which made me feel a little bad, but then I felt mad again. Bobby’s not hiding!
“Bobby’s a police officer, Vincent.” Dad’s voice was monotone. His face looked almost expressionless, except for the way his jaw muscles slowly clenched and unclenched. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then blinked once, hard.
“I know, Vincent. I’m worried about your mom too, you know.” Dad patted me on the shoulder, then rubbed his own head, still with that almost-no-expression expression on his face. “But I—”
The door we’d come in opened, and a security guy stuck his head in.
“Dr. Wu, you should turn on the TV,” he said.
Dad and I looked at each other, then he jumped up as I scrambled to my feet. Dad grabbed the biggest remote control I’d ever seen off a coffee table and turned on the TV, which was already on the Corwin Network.
We caught about a half second of Patty Suarez saying, “—ive broadcast of suspe—” before the screen went black, then cut to a shot of an old man behind a desk. He was dressed all in red—red shirt, red lab coat, and red gloves. He had a pair of big red goggles shoved up on his head and one elbow on the desk, with two fingers propped against his forehead. The other hand did a rat-a-tat-tat drumming thing on the table. His eyebrows were like huge, bristly centipedes.
