“Man. You’re making it almost impossible not to get up and start dancing,” Amelia said.
“That was the plan,” Oliver said. “Get Amelia up on the table to give us a real show.”
Amelia giggled and then took a small bite of her perfectly crisp grilled cheese. She moaned and then placed her hand over her mouth, embarrassed at the sound. But Oliver joined her in his moaning as he chewed his double-cheeseburger with bacon.
“This is what living is, apparently,” Oliver stated. “Close down all the expensive restaurants. Return all your high-fashion clothing. It’s sweatpants and onion rings from here on out.”
As the minutes ticked past, Amelia was amazed at how familiar Oliver became to her. She felt totally comfortable, so much so that she finally said, “Tell me something about you that has nothing to do with your career.”
Olivier dried his hands of grease and considered her words. Next, the jukebox played a song from Jim Croce, which was tender and sweet and terribly sad.
“I used to be married,” he said finally.
Amelia’s heart dropped just the slightest bit. Here, she’d thought he was this hard-edged, brash, arrogant individual, incapable of love. How wrong she’d been.
“She was my life. We met on the first day of college, and I asked her to marry me only a year later. We were just kids. Slowly, I built up my career, and she was happy to come along with me. We moved to New York, and we built up a little plan for ourselves. Enjoy our mid-twenties, and then get serious about having a family.”
Amelia couldn’t breathe. Everything he said felt tremendously heavy.
“Anyway, when that time came, we started to struggle,” Oliver continued. “No babies came. And so we went to the doctor, and he did some tests on both of us. It turns out — it was me. I was shooting blanks. All those years of birth control and I’d been shooting blanks.”
Amelia dropped her eyes to the table. “I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged and took a bite of a French fry. “We were pretty devastated. This had been our plan, and then, nature got in the way. We started to talk about other options, but my career started to really take off after that, and I soon found that we didn’t talk about anything at all. Not well, anyway. It was kind of like we were strangers. And then, one day, she told me she was pregnant.”
“What?” Amelia whispered.
“Yeah. At first, I was overjoyed. Like, finally. Something had gone our way. But then she burst into tears and said it wasn’t mine. That all she had wanted the past few years was a baby of her own. She left me and moved in with him, and after that, well. I burrowed myself deeper and deeper into my work.”
Oliver rubbed his palms together as his cheeks flushed pink. “And now, I guess, I’ve just given you all the gritty details of my personal life—at a diner.”
“No better place to put it all out there,” Amelia said. “Diners are the backbone of America.” She swallowed a bit of strawberry milkshake and then added, “I’m just so sorry all of that happened. It sounds really rough.”
“It’s been years, now,” Oliver said. “Sometimes, when I think about the story, it sounds like it was a part of someone else’s life.”
“I think I know what you mean.”
They held one another’s gaze for a long moment. Amelia’s heart felt on the verge of shattering.
“Listen. Amelia,” Oliver said. “Tomorrow, we have a meeting scheduled for the resort.”
Amelia had very nearly forgotten what all this was actually about.
“I see.”
“I really want you there,” Oliver said softly. “Zane doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And after all you’ve told me about this island, I just want to make sure everything we do is up to code and legal and respectful of the Vineyard and all its residents.”
Amelia’s throat tightened with emotion. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to be there, Oliver.”
“I’m the developer. What I say goes,” Oliver said somberly.
Chapter Nineteen
Amelia remained awake throughout the night for a number of reasons. One, she wanted to go through every single permit, every single law and rule, and all the plans that Oliver had for the resort to create a kind of plan moving forward, one that honored the island and the natural world she so cherished. But secondly, she supposed she couldn’t have slept if she’d tried. Her night with Oliver made her mind and her heart and her stomach quake. She wasn’t sure if she was afraid or overjoyed or something of both. Even still, when she tried to put herself to bed around three-thirty in the morning, all she could do was blink into the black above her bed and imagine what it might be like to kiss him. She hadn’t had a proper crush in years. She knew this one would fade, just as all the other ones had. Still, it was kind of fun to feel not-so-dead inside for a change.
The following morning, Amelia drove her familiar route toward city hall. Unlike other mornings, she didn’t park in her designated parking spot, as someone else had planted their vehicle directly between the lines. She glared at it as she walked up, annoyed. It was just a parking spot, but it had meant a lot to her over the years. This, maybe, was pathetic, too.
When she entered, her secretary, Clara ogled her strangely and then hissed, “What are you doing here!” Excitement poured out from her as she hustled over to Amelia to give her a discrete hug.
“I have a meeting with Mr. Krispin and Zane,” Amelia replied.
“I don’t have you down as a member of the meeting,” Clara said, her eyebrows lowered.
“Oliver requested I attend,” Amelia said. “I stayed up all night making a presentation.”
“Of course you did,” her secretary returned. “I always told you to try to get more rest. Glad to hear you’re still ignoring my advice.”
Warmed and terribly grateful, Amelia stepped toward the boardroom and then entered without a sound. Zane was in the midst of telling Oliver a story, and he hardly glanced her way.
“That was back when whaling was a big part of the island’s industry,” Zane continued.
“I see,” Oliver returned. “This island sure has a lot of history. I’ve heard tell of the deaf community here and how they had a particular kind of Martha’s Vineyard sign language.”
Zane balked at him. “I see you’ve done some reading about our island?”
Oliver’s eyes turned toward Amelia. This forced Zane to yank his head around. Silence blanketed the room.
“Amelia. What are you doing here?” Zane demanded.
“I requested that she attend,” Oliver affirmed.
Zane looked flustered, as though he was out in the rain without an umbrella. “But Mr. Krispin, we’ve discussed everything. I told you. I took her off the project.”
“And I believe she’s the best person for the job,” Oliver returned. “I’ve worked in this industry a long time, and I’ve never come across someone more knowledgeable. It’s clear we would be remiss to eliminate her.”
Zane’s eyes were like daggers. Amelia shifted her weight, still unable to sit at the table with them.
“I really don’t feel comfortable about you going behind my back like this,” Zane offered.
At this, Amelia interjected. “I’ve prepared a presentation that outlines a plan I have to ensure the resort honors the land and history of Martha’s Vineyard. I’ve expressed this importance to Mr. Krispin and he agrees that he wants to uphold everything the island holds dear. Yes, this means more time and it may mean that we can’t open up in time for the end of the tourist season. But if we don’t honor our island and its history and its nature, then what kind of beasts are we? Can we really give everything over for money?”
Zane balked again. He gave Oliver a horrible, red-eyed look and said, “We discussed the benefit of what an early opening would have for the island. I thought we agreed.”
Oliver shook his head. “I had time to think, and I’ve come to the conclusion that Ms. Taylor is correct.”
Zane looked stuck. He folded an
d unfolded his hands, furrowed his brow, then glared out the window. Amelia imagined that he’d already explained the situation to a number of high-rollers on the island; probably, they had called him their champion for opening the place so early and bringing in such revenue. This was a hindrance to all of that. It bruised his ego.
“I suppose, if you demand Ms. Taylor work on the project, I can’t do anything to stand in the way of that,” Zane finally said.
Oliver’s eyes found Amelia’s as a shiver raced up and down her spine. After a long pause, Amelia lifted her folder again and said, “Very well. I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s have a look at my presentation, shall we? I really did spend all night making it.”
AFTER THE MEETING, Zane followed Amelia back to her office. Amelia felt his presence like a ghost behind her. He clipped the door closed as she sauntered around the side of her desk. She really could have jumped up on the desk and danced across it. She was terribly pleased.
“I want you to know that I’ll be watching you like a hawk,” Zane warned as she slapped her folder across the desk and blinked up at him. “If you march out of line again, or make decisions outside of your jurisdiction, then I will not hesitate to take you out of your role again. Maybe I can’t take you off this project with Mr. Krispin, as he’s apparently taken some kind of liking to you, but I can certainly say you’re unfit for any projects down the line.”
Amelia couldn’t drop from cloud nine. She nodded, smiled, and said, “Thanks for taking me back, boss.”
The slight sarcasm clearly infuriated him, but there was nothing more to be said. He nodded, gripped the doorknob, and said, “Well then. I—hmm.” He seemed to be caught between many ideas at once. “If you could please look at your previous calendar. I may need your assistance tomorrow at a number of meetings.”
Amelia sensed it. He wanted to grovel and ask for assistance. If she had to guess, things had been a mess around there since her leave of absence.
“I’ll check it out,” Amelia offered. “If I’m not too busy with the Krispin project, I’ll swing by.”
Zane nodded. Shame made his shoulders curve forward. “Thank you.” He disappeared through the door after that but left it cracked open enough for Amelia’s secretary to peek her head through.
“Are you seriously back?” she cried as she stepped in and whipped the door closed.
Amelia nodded as tears brewed in her eyes. Clara rushed toward her, wrapped her arms around her, and squealed. “Oh my, gosh! It’s been awful here without you!” she cried. “I can’t even tell you. Zane has given me way too many responsibilities, and nobody seems to have their head screwed on right. With you back, everything can go back to normal.”
“I can honestly say I was a bit lost without this place, too,” Amelia said with a light shrug.
“Let me get you something,” her secretary said brightly. “Something delicious for lunch. A salad? A burger? A wrap? Anything. Even if it’s across the island, I’ll drive there and pick it up for you.”
Amelia’s stomach clenched tightly. She wasn’t sure if she was hungry or nervous, or a little of both. “Nothing, for now, thanks,” she said. “But I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
Her secretary left her be after that. The moment the door closed and Amelia found herself again alone in the office she’d so loved for many years, she turned, fell into her chair and watched as her hands shook.
Her nerves were a wreck and her anxiety was at an all-time high considering the circumstances. After she took a few deep breaths, she composed an email to a nearby therapy office. It was finally time to do something about the inner chaos of her mind.
Chapter Twenty
After several weeks flew past, it was now April. Sunlight shimmered through the curtains of Amelia’s office as she puttered through another conversation with yet another contractor. Things were coming together for Oliver and his resort; permits were filled out correctly; time was set aside to ensure everything was done properly. And all the while, Amelia felt hyper-focused on her career, grateful to have a purpose when she awoke every day.
“That sounds good to me,” Amelia stated, as the contractor suggested a meeting the following morning at ten. “I’ll see you then, Paul.”
Amelia jotted several notes to herself on her desk and then aligned her post-it notes in order of importance. It was nearly four-thirty, and she longed to step out into the beautiful afternoon, if only for a few minutes, until she returned to her computer to finalize the rest of her daily tasks.
That moment, there was a knock at the door. After Amelia called, “Come in,” Mandy appeared in the doorway. She wore a pair of sweats, and her hair was all knotted up on top of her head. She looked defeated, as though she’d spent most of her day crying. And in a moment, Amelia swallowed her up in a hug and allowed the poor girl to drape her head on her forehead and shake.
“Let me call off my meetings the rest of the day,” Amelia said suddenly.
Mandy lifted her blotchy face. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I insist,” Amelia said. “When was the last time we went hiking at Felix Neck? I think this day calls for it.”
Amelia gathered her things and led Mandy out to her parking spot, which had been dutifully passed back over to her upon her arrival back to her position. They then drove toward Peases Point Way, where Amelia changed clothes, grabbed a few snacks, and donned her tennis shoes. Within the half-hour, they ducked out of her car and snuck into the trees, where the light filtered through the sudden green buds, and that beautiful, damp smell of spring ballooned around them.
They didn’t speak for a while. Amelia felt she had to let Mandy create the rhythm. It was easy for Amelia to say that time passed swiftly, that she couldn’t very well wait a full nine months to tell her father the news. But basic facts had nothing at all to do with the emotional toll of being a senior in high school and pregnant.
“I’m sorry that I canceled that doctor’s appointment,” Mandy said suddenly.
They’d already discussed it. They had planned to head together to the doctor’s appointment the following week. It was essential for the health of the baby.
“I wish you wouldn’t have done that,” Amelia murmured.
“I just don’t know how to face it.”
“I understand that. But you have to. It’s for both you and the baby,” Amelia said.
Mandy stopped walking and splayed her hand across her stomach. She then lifted her chin so that it pointed at the bright blue sky between the tree-tops. “Everything hurts when you’re pregnant. My boobs are killing me. And I throw up all the time, Aunt Amelia. I’m always in that stupid high school bathroom, trying to hide how sick I am. I can’t focus on anything because my brains have turned to mush.”
Something in the back of Amelia’s mind shifted. She turned her own chin toward the blue sky and watched as a long-necked bird swept over the treetops. As she stood there, her own breasts began to swell and ache. They’d done this frequently over the past few weeks. It had troubled Amelia only sometimes. She’d chalked this and so many other things up to her anxiety and stress at work. Already, she’d had a meeting with her therapist, who’d discussed with her various ways she could potentially cope with her inability to receive love and deal with her everyday stress.
Maybe she wasn’t such a lost cause, after all.
Mandy and Amelia spoke lightly as they walked: about the upcoming months, about rescheduling the doctor’s appointment, and about how they would finally tell Daniel the truth. Mid-way through their hike, Mandy’s phone rang. It was her father, so she pocketed it to ignore it. Minutes later, Daniel called Amelia instead.
“I have to get this,” Amelia said sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Amelia! Hey!” Daniel sounded bright and happy, the way people sounded before they learned about news that would change their lives for good.
“Hey, Dan. What’s up?”
“Just curious if you’d heard anything from Mandy. She
didn’t come home from school, and I can’t get ahold of her.”
“She’s with me, Danny,” Amelia said. “We’re just on a hike. She probably didn’t hear her phone.”
Mandy grimaced and turned her eyes to the muddy ground below.
“You girls are like two peas in a pod,” Daniel replied. “At least I know she’s safe. Thanks again, sis.”
Although they were only half-way through the trail, Mandy insisted she was too tired to keep going. They rounded back and headed to the car, where Mandy sat forlornly and held her elbows with her hands. Amelia drove them back to her place, where she prepared them fruit smoothies. Mandy stared listlessly at the television.
“I have something for you,” Amelia told her. She stepped toward a little baggy, where she procured the classic, ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting.’
Mandy looked at it like it was a ticking time bomb. Amelia pressed it into her hands, then said, “I think the only thing we can do in this life is prepare. Don’t you?”
Mandy opened the book to read about pregnancy at six weeks.
“It’s funny to read this,” Mandy said with a dry laugh. “I could write all this myself. Eight weeks pregnant means PMS symptoms, fatigue, sore breasts, morning sickness. Blah blah. Oh, but wow. My baby is teensy — the size of a kidney bean. Huh.”
This was the first time Amelia had heard Mandy refer to the baby as “my baby.” This felt like a step forward.
“Oh, my God.” Mandy swallowed.
“What?”
“My baby’s heart has already begun to beat,” she said. Her eyes shone.
“Wow,” Amelia murmured.
They held the silence for a moment as though they could hear the baby’s heartbeat from beyond.
Suddenly, Amelia had the urgent need to pee. She rushed to the bathroom and fell back on the toilet as her stomach swelled with a cramp. When she returned to the living area, Mandy had placed the book back on the coffee table and begun to gather her things. Her hands shook. Maybe the book had been too much.
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