by Diane Darcy
There were very few tables in the main area, but it looked like they had more around the corner. The place was crowded, smelled wonderful, and had fancy jams, cured olives, and cheeses on display. Sumptuous bowls of salad were laid out behind a long glass case.
“So what’s good?” she asked.
“Any of the sandwiches.”
They ordered--Alicia getting a turkey sandwich and Jonas a club--and before long they were on their way again, picnic in hand.
When they arrived at the garden, Jonas was quick to open her door and carry their dinner. She picked up her sweater and followed.
He indicated a brick pathway. “Let’s go this way.”
Alicia followed. “I suppose with your mother being who she is, you know all the best places.”
“Not just my mom, but my dad, too. They liked to come here together. Mom could spend hours rhapsodizing over any new species of rose and my dad liked to indulge her. I spent a lot of time here while I was growing up.” He lifted the bag he carried. “They could usually talk me into coming by bribing me with food.”
As they walked up the path, there were quite a few people wandering along in the various levels of the garden. They passed sculptures and plaques interspersed with row after row of beautiful roses in different colors and sizes. The aroma was wonderful.
“There are over seven thousand rose plants and something like five hundred or more varieties. There’s an amphitheater where they have concerts and plays. My mom and dad used to drag me to a couple each year. We should come back and see one sometime. I might have a different perspective as an adult.”
Surprised by the offer, by the implication that they’d still be together in the future, Alicia barely managed to say, “That would be nice.” She hoped the offer had nothing to do with wanting to keep his mother happy.
He led her to a bench overlooking the city of Portland and they both sank down and looked at the view. “Wow,” said Alicia. The vista through the trees and abundant greenery was simply amazing, showing Portland’s tallest buildings, and the rolling hills that seemed a spectacular setting for Mt. Hood on the horizon. “Wow. Seriously, what an incredible view.”
“Nice, huh?” he pulled out their wrapped sandwiches, chips, and bottled water and set everything on the bench between them. “This was always my parents favorite place to eat.” Jonas smiled. “Dig in.”
They ate in silence for a while, admiring the view. “You’re kind of quiet tonight,” said Jonas. “Is anything wrong?”
Alicia lowered her gaze. She didn’t think telling him that she was worried about falling for him was a good idea. “I’m just a little tired. It’s the end of the project and now I have to switch from filming mode to editing. I always get a little nervous at this stage of the game, wondering if I caught everything I’ll need on camera.”
“You’ll do a great job.” His admiring gaze did funny things to her insides, warming her, and making her pulse race. “Have you ever edited a project before?”
Alicia nodded. “Oh sure. I’ve been doing this for years. I actually started back in high school. I took a video production class and once my parents realized I possessed some talent, they bought me the computer programs so I could make movies. After that, all our home videos turned into scripted movies, with my two brothers and their friends in the starring roles.”
“Sounds fun.”
“It was, for the most part, but we had a few mishaps. One time I talked my brother into pretending to fly, and so I had him jump out of a tree and onto the trampoline below. He missed the middle and landed on the metal edge and broke his arm. Mom was pretty upset about it, but Daniel and David loved it when I finished the movie and Daniel really did look like he was flying. He took the film to show and tell and proudly showed it off along with his cast.”
Jonas chuckled. “It sounds like fun. Growing up at your house, I mean.”
“It was. What about you? Was it lonely being an only child?”
“No. I had tons of friends, and we kept my parents busy.”
“I bet. You look like the type to be in trouble all the time.”
He arched a brow at her. “Well, at least I never broke anyone’s arm.”
She laughed. “Let that be a warning to you. So who was the disciplinarian in your family?”
Jonas shrugged. “My mom pretty much thought I could do no wrong, so most of the discipline was left to my dad. He was a great guy. He taught me to work hard, play hard, and hold out for a woman I could love with my whole heart.” He looked right at Alicia as he said the last.
Her own heart seemed to skip a beat before restarting with renewed vigor. She seemed to be having a hard time breathing in enough oxygen. Did he realize what he was implying when he said that to her? If so, did he mean it? If he didn’t stop looking at her like she was dessert, he could be far more dangerous to her heart than she’d realized.
Feeling flustered, Alicia started to gather the wrappers from their dinner and Jonas stood and helped her throw everything in a nearby garbage. They started walking again and Jonas held out his hand. “May I?”
Her gaze skittering from his, she offered her hand and his engulfed hers, his fingers lacing with her own, and she officially admitted to herself that she was a mess. She didn’t know if it was the setting or what, but she found his words and actions incredibly romantic. She glanced up and couldn’t help smiling at him. The way he looked into her eyes seemed incredibly intimate and she felt heat rising in her cheeks. She turned her head away and pretended to study some roses, all the while completely aware of his hand entangled with hers.
“Look over there.” Jonas pointed.
Alicia looked to see a small, intimate wedding in the distance. They stopped and watched for a moment and Jonas moved behind her, encircled her with his arms, and pulled her into his embrace as they watched the couple exchanging vows.
After a moment, he urged her to turn in his arms. “May I?” he asked again.
She didn’t even hesitate, but lifted her face to his. He bent down and kissed her gently, and she didn’t know if it was the setting, the man, or the gentle way he touched his lips to hers, but it was the most romantic kiss she’d ever received. After a moment he lifted his head, pulled her close, and simply held her in his arms. She wrapped her own around his waist, pressed her face against his chest, and stood in his warm embrace.
As her heartbeat slowed, she recognized the fact that she was in so much trouble. Whatever this was, it was going too fast for her. What did this gorgeous guy, who really could have any girl he wanted, want with her? Was this a routine? Did he do this with all his dates? She knew she needed to protect herself. All she could see coming out of this was more pain for her when he left. After this date, she needed to avoid him before she got sucked in any deeper.
Now if she could just find the strength to let go, she might be able to follow through on her plan.
* * *
A few days later, Alicia was hard at work editing the commercial. It was a blessing to have something to do to occupy herself and take her mind off of Jonas. Taking a break, she checked her phone and felt another sharp pang of guilt. She’d missed five calls from Jonas in the last couple of hours. She hesitated, then, feeling like a coward, decided not to check her voice messages. She wasn’t sure she could handle the sound of his voice yet. She needed a little more distance to steel her heart and emotions.
She was still trying to find the courage to tell him she just didn’t think it would work out between them. She was afraid that if she heard his voice she’d fall back into his arms without a thought to the future, and to the devastation she’d feel when he walked away.
She set the phone down, headed to get a cold glass of water, then got back to work. It was actually sort of difficult to work on the commercial. Not only was she making it for Jonas’s company, but he was in a lot of the shots. It was hard to see his handsome face so often. She already missed him like crazy. The pain convinced her more than anything that she was right to end
things between them before it went any farther. Before she was in a position to get hurt even worse.
A few hours later, she finished up for the night and headed out to her car. When she arrived home, she wasn’t really that surprised to find Jonas waiting for her. He got out of his car and approached. “Alicia. Can we talk?”
“It’s late, Jonas. I’m pretty tired right now.”
“If you’d answer or return my calls during the day, then I wouldn’t have to resort to tracking you down late at night. I considered calling your boss today and letting him know that you aren’t returning my calls. Tomorrow that’s exactly what I’ll do. So we can do this tonight, or you can explain it to your boss tomorrow. Which is it?”
She sighed. “Come inside.”
Jonas prowled around her living room for a moment, then turned and faced her. “So what happened between the gardens the other night and now?”
She could tell he was angry, frustrated, and trying to keep his calm. “I thought things were going so well for us, and then you just cut me off. Do you want to explain why?”
It hurt just to look at him. “I’ve just been really busy is all.”
She could see a flash of anger in his eyes. “Don’t give me that. What’s going on here? Talk to me.”
She headed into the kitchen to get a drink. When she turned around, he’d cornered her against the sink. “Are you breaking up with me? Is that what this is?”
“We only went out a few times. I wouldn’t call it breaking up. It’s not like it was serious yet.”
“It was for me.” He studied her face and his own softened. “Talk to me, Alicia. What is going on?”
She shrugged.
“Is there someone else? Are you dating another guy?” His eyes seemed to darken at the prospect and his jaw jutted forward. “That prince guy? The one in your commercial?”
It would be easier if she could lie, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t ever try and hurt him on purpose. She was trying to spare both of them the pain of a real breakup. “No. There’s no one else.”
He studied her, turned away, then turned back to face her again. “Look. I’m the kind of guy who goes after what he wants. When I met you in the dark at my mother’s house, I knew right then that there was something between us. “I thought you felt the same way.”
What Alicia felt at the moment was gutted. He was right. She’d felt something for him from the beginning.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Come on, Alicia. I know you did. So what is this? Why are you playing games with me now?”
How did she tell him she was afraid of getting her heart ripped out? She shook her head.
Jonas took a step toward her, but visibly stopped himself. He gave an exasperated sigh, then turned to leave. He stopped at the door. “This isn’t over, Alicia. When you’re ready to talk, you know my phone number.”
After he left, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.
* * *
The next morning Alicia was getting ready to go into the office when she received a call from Willa. “Hi. Just wondering how the commercial is going?”
“It’s going good. I’m working long hours on it and I should have something to show you by tomorrow.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good, dear. So I was just wondering what is going on between you and Jonas? I don’t usually like to interfere in my son’s life, but the two of you are so perfect for each other that I’m confused about what happened? Did the two of you break up?”
Alicia didn’t know what to say. “We only went out a few times. I don’t know if you can call that a breakup.”
“I know that Jonas can be harsh at times, he expects a lot out of himself and sometimes he can be a little demanding of others as well. Did he say something? Do something?”
Alicia sighed. “No. Nothing like that. I’m just worried that we don’t go together, you know?”
“I don’t understand. How can you say that? You’re perfect for each other.”
How could Alicia explain that the problem was that she was an insecure coward? She feared Jonas would realize she was nothing special, after all, and break up with her eventually and that she’d be devastated. Even more devastated than she was right now. How could she possibly explain something like that? Especially to Willa? A woman with a happily ever after garden, and an optimistic outlook where love was concerned? Alicia didn’t even understand it herself, so she couldn’t expect anyone else to.
“Alicia. Is there something I can do to help?”
Alicia started to cry. “No. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m coming over.”
“No. Please, don’t. I just need to work through a few things, you know?”
“Like what, dear?”
“I’ve…I’ve had a few boyfriends break up with me in the past and…” And then it all came spilling out. The boyfriend in high school who’d broken up with her right after graduation, devastating her. The boyfriend in college who’d left her for another girl, ripping her heart out.
After a quiet pause, she said, “I’m pathetic, I know. I just feel like I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t inspire staying power, you know?” Alicia couldn’t believe she’d said any of that out loud. “I guess you’ll say I need to talk to Jonas about this?”
“I’d say that’s a really good idea, dear.” Willa sounded very satisfied. Alicia was glad one of them was.
“But just one thing before you go,” said Willa. “I know my son, and he’s crazy about you. I knew when Jonas finally fell in love, it would be forever, just like his father. Another trait they share is that they don’t give up easily. Jonas is only biding his time, dear, working out his next strategy.”
After Willa said goodbye, Alicia stared at the phone in her hand as fear and hope seemed to jockey for dominance within her heart. She looked over at her desk at the pink thornless rose, slightly wilted now, that Jonas had given her. The love-at-first-sight rose. Hope pushed out the fear that had paralyzed her for the last few days. She did need to talk to Jonas. If for no other reason than to assure herself she wasn’t making one of the biggest mistakes she’d ever made in her life.
Chapter Ten
Later that morning, Alicia arrived at work to see Mike sitting at her desk and going through the computer shots she’d set up the night before. He glanced up when she entered. “I seriously can’t believe how much you got done after I left. How late were you here last night?”
“Late.”
“Well, let’s get to work. What do you think? Maybe we can finish it today?”
“Maybe. That’s what I’m hoping, anyway.”
Mike moved over and she got back to work, picking up where she’d left off the night before. For her own peace of mind, she needed to hurry and finish. Jonas and this project belonged in two separate areas of her life, and the sooner she finished this, the sooner she could find out if Jonas would just be a fleeting memory, or a major part of her future.
She played the next set, some film of Jonas and her together, sniping at each other, both of them obviously enjoying the exchange.
“You guys look good together. You complement each other. You going out again anytime soon?”
Tears sprang to Alicia’s eyes and she bent her head so Mike wouldn’t notice. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She felt like an idiot for telling his mother everything. She was sure to tell Jonas and Jonas was sure to think she was pathetic. Even she thought so.
Mike, still watching the film, laughed as he watched them talking and Alicia’s heart ached. They were good together, weren’t they? So why was she ruining everything with her insecurities?
As she continued to watch, her mouth parted as an idea jumped into her mind. Finally, after days of agonizing, she found herself smiling again.
* * *
When Mike came in the next morning, she was still at it.
“Good lord, that’s what you were wearing yesterday. Have you been here all night long?”
“
Yep.” Alicia grinned at him. She was exhausted, but really happy with what she’d come up with.
Mike looked at the two DVDs she’d just finished burning, clearly labeled Version One and Version Two. “You made two versions?”
“Yep. Two completely different commercials.”
While Mike gaped at the thought of the extra work, and the speed with which she’d accomplished it, she made a phone call. “Willa? Can I come and show you some film in a couple of hours?”
Willa agreed immediately. “Shall I call Jonas to see it, too?”
“Yes, definitely. He needs to be there.”
Alicia set the phone down. She really hoped they liked what she’d come up with.
Mike looked at her expectantly. “Can I watch them now?”
“I insist. If only so you can keep me from making a fool of myself. I’m starting to worry that lack of sleep made all this seem like a good idea.” She handed him a DVD. “Here. Watch this one first.”
Alicia watched Mike as he watched the commercial. The fact that he laughed in all the right places had the tension in her shoulders unbunching. When he had the exact same reaction to the second commercial, she started to relax and feel more confident again.
When Version Two ended, he turned to her and grinned. “Bingo. You have a couple of winners there, babe. Do you want me to go with you?”
She shook her head. “I’d better do this one alone.”
“Okay. But don’t forget to invite me to the wedding.”
* * *
Alicia arrived at Willa’s house to see Jonas’s car parked in the driveway. As she gathered her things, she realized her hands were trembling. Blowing out a breath, she headed for the door, only to have Jonas open it before she had a chance to knock. Her heart stuttered in her chest. His eyes were bright, watchful, as his gaze roamed over her from head to toe, and it was all she could do to stop herself from throwing herself into his arms.
Hi,” he said, unsmiling. “Come in. Mom’s in the family room.”
