I don’t know how I feel about the fact that there are five people out there in the world, each carrying around a little part of my sister, but I know that Daisy would have wanted it to be this way.
“You said there was a letter?” My voice is hoarse and scratchy.
She nods and hands it over to me. “I’ll give you a minute alone.”
I don’t look up as she exits the room.
There’s a thin envelope in my hands that feels like a heavy brick, and all of a sudden, I have to know what it says.
I tear the flap open and pull out the letter from inside.
My hands are shaking so badly it takes me a couple of attempts to read the first few lines, and when I do, the sheet of paper falls to the floor.
To the owner of my heart,
You don’t know me, and I know you can’t read this, but I still need to write it.
My name is Violet Miller, and four years ago, you saved my life…
Violet
Even though we’ve unofficially been living together with Bear for what feels like forever, it’s never felt more real than it does today. Rylan’s not even here right now, but my home is so filled with him I can barely remember what it was like before he appeared in my life.
There’s a whole pile of boxes stacked against the wall, and even though I’m expecting him home any time now to help me, I can’t seem to stop myself from taking one down and starting to unpack it.
It’s labelled ‘photos’ and I have to admit that it’s got my curiosity piqued.
Rylan talks about his parents often and while I’ve seen a couple of pictures of his late father and his elderly mother, I’m still yet to see even one of his sister Daisy.
I know it’s not for the fact that he doesn’t want to show me, but that it just hurts him too much – he never fully dealt with his sister’s death, but I think that these past few months he’s finally starting to heal.
I glance at the clock again.
There’s a sensation lurking around me like I’m doing something wrong, but I shove it aside. Rylan and I are in this life together – I know that nothing that lives in a box could possibly come between us.
I lift the lid and find a few albums, some frames and a couple of stacks of photos.
I shuffle through a few until I spot an envelope.
There’s only two photos inside, I recognise one as Rylan’s mum and dad when they were younger. I smile at the obvious love between them – his dad is looking at his mum the same way that Rylan looks at me.
This photo deserves to be in a frame, displayed proudly on the wall, so I sit it down on the table to tell Rylan when he gets home that we’ll be doing exactly that with it.
I pull the other photo from the envelope at the same time as I hear the front door open.
I clutch my chest in shock, I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
The image that has taken my breath away is of Rylan, he’s about ten years younger here than he is now and he’s so handsome, but it’s not that – it’s the woman next to him, who I now have no doubt is his sister, that’s caused me to gasp aloud.
I know this woman, and the realisation of exactly who she is steals the last of my reservations about fate.
“Violet.” Rylan’s voice startles me.
I turn and look at him, and he’s there, his eyes filled with what appears to be total disbelief.
We stand unmoving, staring at one another in wonder.
In my hand is the photo that’s just completely blown my mind, and in his, he holds a sheet of paper that signifies the final piece of our puzzle clicking into place.
Violet
I hear someone clinking cutlery against glass, indicating that they want to make a speech and I spin around, looking for the speaker.
I recognise his voice a fraction of a second before my eyes land on his face, in all its smiling perfection.
The earth has circled the sun five times since he officially came into my life, yet every time I look into his startling blue eyes; it feels like the very first time.
“I’d like to make a toast.” He smiles at me and my belly flips.
I don’t know how he does that. He still has the power to turn my insides to mush, even after all these years.
“Thank you all for coming… there’s two very special women I need to make mention of tonight, the first being my beautiful wife.”
He smiles so wide at me that everybody else in the room follows suit, looking at me and smiling along with him.
I know I’m bright red, but I don’t care, his words mean more to me than anybody else’s and right now, he’s all I can see.
“The art you’re about to witness, she has been working on for literally her entire life. She has laid herself bare on those canvases, and for her to allow the whole world to see them is certainly no small feat.”
He looks at me with such tenderness in his eyes I have to fight to hold his gaze rather than shy away from it.
“I can personally vouch for the rollercoaster of emotions that you’ll experience when you walk through those doors… because trust me; some of those paintings have the power to bring you to your knees.”
The skin on my arms has broken out into goosebumps now; all the individual little hairs are standing up on end. He’s the only person close to me to see my collection in its entirety thus far, and I know he means every word he’s saying.
Lucy reaches for my hand and grips it tightly in hers.
Her belly is round for the third time and her skin is positively glowing again, only this time it’s not her bun she’s cooking in her oven, it’s mine.
I squeeze her hand back appreciatively; I’m so incredibly grateful for the selfless woman I get to call my best friend. She knows me as well as she knows herself, so she of all people understands exactly how nervous I am right now.
“Congratulations, gorgeous, I can’t think of a single person who deserves this moment more than you do.” Rylan lifts his flute of wine in my direction.
I hold back tears as I walk towards him and he wraps me in his strong, safe arms while everybody around us claps and cheers.
“Thank you,” I murmur against his chest.
He kisses the top of my head and when I pull away, he tucks me into his side, his arm wrapping protectively around me, the same way it always has.
“But there’s also one other woman I need to thank tonight.”
I already know what he’s going to say next, and just the mere thought of it has the first of what I’m sure will be many tears slipping down my face.
“My sister.”
Everyone is watching him closely, intrigued by his words. He’s always been the kind of man that commands the attention of a room, but I think we can all feel that this is something more.
“All of you already know that some years back, Violet’s life was saved when she received a heart transplant… but there’s one thing that some of you probably don’t know, something that neither Violet or I knew when we first met either.”
I think back to the moment when I decided that I undoubtedly believed in fate.
“A few years ago, Violet reached out to her donor’s family, she wrote a beautiful, heartfelt letter expressing how grateful she was… and not long after, I received a letter. It was from a bright, incredible woman who told me that someone in my family had saved her life… it was only then that I realised my sister was her donor.”
I hear a few gasps from the crowd.
He looks down at me now, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, but his expression bright and happy.
He’s finally made peace with the tragedy that took his sister’s life and in turn, gave me mine.
“My sister gave life to the woman who would later become the love of mine and I know it was her that brought the two of us together.”
He kisses my head again, but I know this time it’s for his benefit, not mine. He draws strength from being close to me, and he needs that strength right now as he talks about the
possibility of my life coming to an end and as he relives the memory of his sister losing hers.
“Violet’s told me about how she technically died once, when she was twenty-one years old… she told me about her heart going into cardiac arrest and about the woman who brought her back from the brink of death. But it wasn’t until much later on that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was my sister Daisy that brought Violet and I together.”
My mum, dad and brother are eyeing me curiously now, but Auggie, she just looks totally serene – like maybe she already knows what’s coming.
He turns so he’s speaking directly to my family. “My sister was a cardiologist… you knew her actually… she would have introduced herself as Dr. White – she was the woman who saved Violet’s life that day.”
I can hear my mum sobbing now as the weight of what he’s saying presses down on all of us. We chose to save that final piece of information for this exact moment and I’m glad we did. Daisy’s memory deserves this honour.
The fact that Dr. White – the woman who brought me back to life and then treated me for the months that followed afterwards – is not only his sister, but also my donor, still blows my mind each and every time I think about it.
“So…” he takes a deep steadying breath, “I just wanted to thank her, because it takes an incredible woman to not only save lives in life, but also in death.”
He raises his glass to the sky now.
“To Daisy, thank you, even though you’re gone, you’ve somehow managed to do what you’ve always done – you gave me a life worth living.”
The group surrounding us erupts into applause and I feel myself being pulled into embrace after embrace.
Tears are flowing freely down my face, along with everyone else in the room.
I glance up at the daisy chain I painted on the welcome banner and smile. They’re the same ones from my vision, the ones I never really understood until that final connection between Rylan and I was made.
The daisies are for Daisy.
I’ve dreamt about this moment for so long – the moment where I’m brave enough to share my work with the world, and also where we can pay tribute to the woman who saved my life on more than one occasion, and now it’s finally here.
I’m eventually released by my friends and family, and right on cue the doors are opened to allow everyone into the gallery to witness my exhibition for the very first time.
I’m terrified of what people will think, but with Rylan looking at me like I’m everything, I know that I have what it takes to be exactly that in this world.
I run my fingertip gently over the cover of the booklet in my hand.
The two words looking back at me, much like the beating organ in my chest, are as much hers as they are mine.
It’s the introduction to my life’s work, to everything I’ve ever kept hidden, and it’s simply titled ‘My Heart’.
The end
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.”
-Seneca
Thank you for reading My Heart Wants, I hope you enjoyed it.
If you did enjoy it, please consider leaving a review; they give authors valuable feedback, help other readers find new books, and I’d really, really appreciate it!
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Please remember:
This book has been written using UK English and may contain euphemisms and slang words that form part of the New Zealand spoken word.
Please remember that the words are not misspelled. They are slang terms and form part of everyday, New Zealand vernacular.
I.e: I’m from New Zealand and sometimes we say weird things down here… please try and be cool about it.
Thanks again!
If you are interested in reading more about this condition or supporting a charity for those living with conditions such as Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, please visit their websites below.
United States of America
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Love like Yours Series
Rushed – Book 1
Pierced – Book 2
Hunted – Book 3
Chased – Book 4
Rock Games Novels
Paper, Scissors, Rock: Vol. 1
Hide and Seek: Vol. 2
My Heart Duet
My Heart Needs
My Heart Wants
Thank you to everyone that has taken a chance on this duet – it’s been a really nervous time for me, as these two books are so different from anything I’ve ever written before, so to every reader, new or old, thanks so much for reading My Heart Needs and continuing on to My Heart Wants to see the rest of Violet’s journey.
To my editor and readers and those of you part of my process to get my books published, thanks so much, I appreciate everything you do for me.
Once again I’d like to acknowledge the journey of those living with conditions like Violet’s, you all are such an inspiration and I hope I’ve done this story justice.
Thank you all for the support!
Ain’t Love Strange – Stanaj
So – Ed Sheeran
One – Ed Sheeran
Closer – Six60
Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson
All The Things She Said – t.A.T.u.
Anywhere – Rita Ora
Dangerous Woman – Ariana Grande
The Heart Wants What It Wants – Selena Gomez
Eyes On You – Chase Rice
Love At First Sight (Acoustic) – Blame Jones
Rewrite The Stars – Zac Efron & Zendays
You Are The Reason – Calum Scott
Meant to Be (Acoustic) – Bebe Rexha
Perfect Duet – Ed Sheeran & Beyonce
No Promises – Cheat Codes & Demi Lovato
The Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice
I Have Questions – Camilla Cabello
Issues – Julia Michaels
Kiss Me – Sixpence None The Richer
Make You Feel My Love – Adele
Stay – Rihanna & Mikky Echo
Wherever You Will Go – The Calling
Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars
Wasn’t Expecting That – Jamie Lawson
The Reason – Hoobastank
You And Me – Lifehouse
Remind Me To Forget – Kygo & Miguel
You Will Find Me – Alex & Sierra
Feel The Love – Rudimental & John Newman
Honest – The Chainsmokers
Please Keep Loving Me – James TW
For You – James TW
False Alarm – Matoma & Becky Hill
The Only Reason – JP Cooper
Kiss Me – Ed Sheeran
Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran
Gravity – Sara Bareilles
XO – John Mayor
Naked – James Arthur
In My Blood – Shawn Mendes
Amazed – Lonestar
H.O.L.Y – Florida Georgia Line
Tangled Up – Parade of Lights
In Case You Didn’t Know – Boyce Avenue
Put Me Back Together – Grace Grundy
Collide – Boyce Avenue
Always – Gavin James
Love Lies – Khalid & Normani
Today Was a Fairytale – Taylor Swift
Let Me – ZAYN
Chasing Fire – Lauv
I Love You – Alex & Sierra
Feels Like Home – Chantal Kreviazuk
Somebody Like You – Keith Urban
Love Somebody – Maroon 5
For You – Liam Payne & Rita Ora
Wish U Were Here – Cody Simpson
Never Gonna Let You Down – Colbie Caillat
In Love Again – Colbie Caillat
Borrowed Time – Thompson S
quare
Fallen so Young – Declan J Donovan
NICOLE S. GOODIN is a romance author and mother of two from Taranaki in the North Island of New Zealand.
In mid-2015, she started to write about a group of characters who wouldn’t get out of her head. Her first book, Rushed, was published in mid-2016.
Nicole enjoys long walks on the beach, pillow fights and braiding her friends’ hair. She dislikes clichés, talking about herself in the third person, and people who don’t understand her sense of humour.
Please feel free to contact her either via her website, email, Instagram, Twitter or on her Facebook page, she would love to hear your feedback. If you’re feeling really game, you can even sign up for her newsletter HERE.
Calendar Boys Novels
Mr. January
Mr. February
Rock Games Novels
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
My Heart Wants (The Heart Duet Book 2) Page 13
