From there she told him everything—from Courtney storming into the living room with the book in her arms, to Mom and Grandma telling them the truth about what had happened to Britney, to them flying back to Vegas. “Now Courtney’s locked herself in her room, and she and Savannah need me to be the strong one, but I’m just as angry and confused as they are, and I didn’t know who to talk to,” she finally finished. She’d started crying sometime in the middle of the story, and the tears were fogging up her sunglasses, so she pushed them to her head and wiped her eyes.
“Wow.” Jackson flipped his cup right side up, poured himself some beer and took a long swig. Peyton had never seen him drink on the job before—well, she’d never seen him drink at all before. “I promise I never knew about this. I can’t believe they would keep something like that from you. And from Courtney…” He shook his head. “I can’t imagine what this must be like for her.”
“It’s so strange to think about….” Another tear trickled down Peyton’s cheek, and she didn’t bother wiping it away. “We had another sister, and if the kidnapping hadn’t happened, she would be here today. Obviously she would look like Courtney, but would she be similar to her, or different? What would her relationship be like with me, and with Savannah? Britney being alive would change everything. I just wish I knew how.”
“And I wish I had the answers for you,” Jackson said, brushing the tear off her cheek. His eyes were so intense, as if he could see into her soul, and her heart thudded with how there were only inches between his face and hers. She wanted to close the space between them, but she’d kissed him twice already, and both times he’d pushed her away. She was done throwing herself at him and getting nothing back. It hurt too much.
But then he leaned toward her, his lips dangerously close to hers—so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. She lifted her chin and closed her eyes, but instead of the kiss she’d expected, he rested his forehead against hers. He stayed like that for a few seconds, and her blood pumped faster, waiting for him to give in. But he pulled away and took a deep drink of his beer, as if it could cleanse his mind of whatever had just happened between them.
She crossed her arms and watched him, her eyes hard. He owed her an explanation.
“This can’t happen,” he said, running his hands over his short hair. “I’m sorry, Peyton. I want to be here for you, but the way that I want to be here for you and that I’m allowed to be here for you are too different.”
Peyton arched an eyebrow—that was the most up-front he’d been with her in a while. “So you do have feelings for me?” she asked, although her voice wobbled, ruining any attempt at sounding confident.
“If I did, it wouldn’t matter, because nothing could come of it.”
“That’s not true.” She tried to swallow away her tears, but her eyes heated up again, and once more, they came pouring out. Why was she crying so much? She never cried. She hadn’t even cried when she’d learned Mom was going to rehab. She wiped her tears away and slid her sunglasses back over her face, as if they could hide her from the world.
“I’m sorry, Peyton.” Jackson reached forward to place his hand on top of hers, but then he pulled away, which only made her feel worse. “I didn’t mean to make this harder for you.”
“You didn’t make it harder for me.” She sniffed. “I needed someone to talk to. You’re the only person I trust to keep this secret and who cared enough to listen. My sisters are looking to me to be the strong one. Clearly I can’t talk to Grandma or Mom, and Rebecca says she’s there for us, but she doesn’t know me at all. Besides, her loyalty’s with Adrian.”
“I know you’re not fond of Rebecca, but it might not hurt to give her a chance,” Jackson said. “I don’t know her well myself, but it seems like she wants to be there for you and your sisters.”
“That’s what Savannah says, too.” Peyton shrugged. “But Adrian’s still first for her. He’s in the wrong here—he and Mom and Grandma—but Rebecca loves him and will defend him in the end.”
“She will,” he agreed.
“But here’s what I don’t understand,” she said. “Why are you so insistent that nothing could come from whatever’s going on between us? I feel it, and you pretty much told me you feel it, too. There has to be some way we can make it work without Adrian finding out. After all the lies he’s told me and my sisters, I wouldn’t even feel bad about it.”
“It still doesn’t make it all right to go behind his back,” Jackson said, and Peyton’s heart sank. “If we were going to be together, I wouldn’t want to hide it. You deserve better than that. Besides, Adrian’s your father, and he’s my employer. If we got found out—and we would get found out—the consequences for me would be severe. You might get grounded. I would get fired. Adrian Diamond is a powerful man, and with that on my record, I would be blacklisted for any future employment. Add on top of that you being a minor, and who knows how much trouble I would be in.”
“So basically, being with me could destroy your life.”
“Yes.” He clenched his jaw, his eyes pained, and Peyton realized how unfair she’d been by throwing herself at him. How had she not put herself in his position until he spelled it out for her? He must think she was a selfish brat.
“I’m sorry,” she said, since it was all she could come up with to say. “All I knew was how much I liked you. The only people I’ve ever trusted before were Grandma, Courtney and Savannah, but for some reason, I’ve trusted you from the moment we met. You understand who I am, and you like who I am. Or at least, I think you do.”
“Of course I like who you are.” He smiled for the first time since they’d sat down. “You’re stubborn, tough, honest and you’ll do anything for the people you love. Those are amazing qualities. I might not agree with all your decisions, but I admire how you go after what you want, no matter what. Do you think I would have put up with your troublemaking otherwise?”
Tears rose in her throat again, and she smiled, although it was bittersweet. How had he gone from saying that they couldn’t be together to saying the nicest things to her ever?
“It’s hard to tell sometimes,” she finally said. “But I’m glad you were honest with me—about everything. I guess I never thought about how serious the consequences could be for you because I didn’t want those consequences to exist. Hearing you say it out loud made me realize how real they are. And there’s no way in hell I would let you lose your career because of me. So I’ll stop pushing you, I promise.”
“Thank you,” he said, although his voice was tight, his eyes sad. “But I hope you realize that a lot of your feelings for me are because you were forced to have me in your life and let your guard down around me. You knew I knew the details of your life from day one, so you didn’t bother hiding anything. If you open yourself up like that for someone else, maybe you’ll feel the same way for them, too.”
“I doubt it,” she said, amazed by how he made it sound so easy. “Trust takes a long time to earn. And usually it’s never deserved at all.”
“There are people out there worth trusting,” he said. “They might be rare, but they exist. And you’re never going to get to the point where you trust someone if you don’t let your guard down to begin with. I know you will someday. But for now, I hope you know that I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” she asked. “None of this is your fault.”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he said. “I’m sorry it has to be like this between us. It might not always be this way, but at least for the next few months, until you turn eighteen, we can’t change our situation. I just hope we can be friends.”
Friends. She wanted more than that, but she refused to let Jackson ruin his career—and possibly his life—for her. So, being friends would have to do for now.
They finished their drinks, and for the first time, they were able to talk freely. Yes, she had feelings for him—t
hose couldn’t disappear overnight—but being around him was no longer a battle of who would give in to the other first. And despite the terrible things she’d learned earlier that day, talking with Jackson made her feel not quite as awful anymore. As if her life hadn’t just been torn apart by more lies.
But she knew it would all come crashing down again once Adrian got back to Vegas.
Chapter 24: Madison
“Did you girls get invitations to Savannah’s Sweet Sixteen?” Madison asked Kaitlin and Tiffany over lunch at Nobu in the Hard Rock, their favorite sushi restaurant. Her friends had reached out to her on Thanksgiving—they felt guilty for ostracizing her since Halloween—and now they were getting sushi like old times. Well, not exactly like old times, since the fourth person in their core group, Larissa, was missing from the table. But it was close enough.
“Yep.” Tiffany finished off her last piece of sushi. “How cool is it that it’s going to be on My Fabulous Sweet Sixteen? I bet Savannah’s so excited.”
“Your parents signed the waiver?” Kaitlin asked.
“Of course,” Tiffany said. “I think my mom’s more excited about the television show than I am. And she’s not even going to be there.”
“Did your parents not sign it?” Madison asked Kaitlin.
“Nope.” Kaitlin rolled her eyes. “They don’t want my face on national television. I just don’t want to have to stand on the sidelines while the exciting parts of the party are being filmed.”
“I’m sure it won’t be a big deal,” Madison said, trying to reassure her, even though she would have been annoyed if her parents had refused to sign her waiver. Not because she cared about being on TV—she didn’t—but because she liked making her own decisions.
They chatted about what they were thinking of wearing and ordered dessert to share. Only one or two spoonfuls, Madison told herself. She’d lost most of the weight she’d gained and didn’t want to blow it on dessert. But it felt good to be out at lunch with her friends. Keeping herself from telling them about Adrian being her biological father was still a struggle, but after spilling the secret to Oliver, it wasn’t as hard as before.
And while she did plan on following through with her promise to Oliver and telling her parents that she wanted to confront Adrian, she hadn’t gotten a chance yet. She hadn’t wanted to bring it up on Thanksgiving and ruin the holiday, and they’d left for work before she’d woken up this morning. Tonight they were going out on a date…so she would wait until tomorrow.
Her neck muscles tightened at the prospect, and she tried to relax so that she wouldn’t get a migraine.
The waitress placed their dessert on the table, and then Kaitlin focused on Madison, her eyes more serious than they’d been for the entire meal. Madison knew that look: Kaitlin was about to tell her something she didn’t want to hear.
She braced herself for whatever was coming.
“We have to tell you something, and you’re not going to be happy about it, but please, hear us out,” Kaitlin started.
“Okay…” Madison put down her spoon; the anticipation for whatever they were about to tell her had killed her appetite. Not like that was a bad thing. “What is it?”
Tiffany pulled her thick dark hair over her shoulder. “We know you and Larissa haven’t been getting along well recently, and we want to help fix things between you two,” she said. “We’ve all been such good friends for so long, and this will all be better once both of you talk about it.” As always, Tiffany was completely genuine. But this meal had been going fine without Larissa. Whatever they had planned would surely ruin that.
“I don’t know,” Madison said. “Larissa accused me of some pretty awful things on Halloween, and as far as I’m aware, her opinions haven’t changed.”
“But the four of us have been best friends for years,” Tiffany said. “Sure, the two of you clash sometimes. But you always get over it.”
“I know.” Madison shrugged. “But this is different. She accused me of sleeping with Oliver, called me a selfish lying bitch, turned my friends against me and hasn’t even apologized. I can’t just ‘get over’ that.”
“We understand.” Kaitlin nodded. “And I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because we love both you and Larissa, but—did you sleep with Oliver?”
“No!” Madison shook her head. “I thought you both knew me better than that. Which is why I couldn’t believe you sided with Larissa these past few weeks.”
“We didn’t ‘side’ with Larissa,” Kaitlin said. “We just felt like you were avoiding us. Even before the fight you had with her, you ignored us when we reached out to you. But Larissa still wanted to go out, and since we’re friends with both of you, we ended up spending more time with her. It wasn’t intentional.”
“I know.” Madison stared at her water glass, wishing she could tell them why she’d been distancing herself. But the more people she told, the more chance of someone spilling it before she talked to Adrian. “I’ve just been really stressed out recently,” she said. “I didn’t mean to make both of you feel like I didn’t care about hanging out anymore.”
“We know that, but we also felt hurt that you were shutting us out,” Tiffany said. “It seems like this is all a big misunderstanding. That’s why—”
“You two didn’t tell me she would be here,” Larissa said from behind Madison’s chair. Madison turned around, and sure enough, Larissa was standing there with her arms crossed and a sneer on her bright pink lips.
“They didn’t tell me you were coming, either.” Madison picked up her purse. “But don’t worry, I’m on my way out.” She looked at Tiffany and Kaitlin, willing herself not to get irritated at them in the middle of the restaurant about how they didn’t warn her Larissa would be here. “Let me know how much I owe you for lunch, and I’ll pay you back on Monday.”
“Don’t go,” Kaitlin said. “Can’t you both sit down, so we can talk?”
“Was this what you were trying to tell me?” Madison asked. “That you were going to hold a friend-tervention?”
“We just want you to work this out,” Tiffany said. “The only way we could think to fix it was for both of you to have an in-person conversation, with me and Kaitlin here to help.”
“This is more than a ‘misunderstanding.’” Madison narrowed her eyes at Larissa, who annoyingly made herself comfortable in the fourth seat at their table. “You accused me of sleeping with Oliver, and when I told you I didn’t, you refused to believe the truth.”
“The ‘truth’?” Larissa scowled. “I saw the way you and Oliver were looking at each other on Halloween—like you wanted to rip each other’s clothes off and go at it then and there. You two are together all the time nowadays. How could I not think you’re sleeping together? If you weren’t, you would have tried harder to get me to believe you. But you left and avoided me, so I know I was right.”
“Or maybe there’s more important stuff going on in my life than worrying about you thinking I slept with Oliver when I honestly told you I hadn’t,” Madison said. “You can’t wrap your mind around the fact that I have bigger things going on, and that I’m not wasting energy trying to make you feel better because you’re jealous of my friendship with Oliver.”
“What sort of things?” Tiffany asked. “I thought you knew you could talk to us about anything.”
“It’s personal stuff.” Madison willed them to understand. “Family stuff.” It sounded so lame. But she couldn’t explain why the secret was so huge without revealing the truth, and she would never want Larissa, Kaitlin and Tiffany to know before Peyton, Courtney and Savannah.
“See?” Larissa rolled her eyes. “This is what I mean. What’s so huge that you’re going to such lengths to keep it from your best friends?”
“Trust me, you would understand if you knew,” Madison said. “But I can’t tell you becau
se more people are involved than just me. Hopefully I’ll have it worked out soon, and then I promise you’ll all be the first to know.”
“Sure,” Larissa said. “But I bet you’ve already told Oliver, haven’t you?”
She froze, and that split-second pause was enough to give her away.
Larissa arched an eyebrow. “I’m right, aren’t I? You did tell Oliver.”
Madison took a deep breath, contemplating how to approach this without lying, while also making sure not to make things worse with Larissa. “It was only recently,” she said. “After you wrongly thought Oliver and I had slept together and made sure our friends ostracized me. He was the only one there for me, and I needed someone to talk to.”
“Tiffany and I were trying to be there for you, but you pushed us away,” Kaitlin said. “Why would you talk to him and not us?”
“It wasn’t anything personal.” Madison leaned back in her seat, knowing how bad this sounded. Because, yes, Kaitlin, Tiffany and even Larissa were her closest friends. But Oliver was her best friend. He had been since lower school. There was no one she trusted more than him. “He’s the only one who knows, and he only got it out of me after a few glasses of wine.”
“And you expect us to believe you’re not sleeping with him?” Larissa said. “I’m not an idiot, Madison. It’s pretty clear what’s going on here. ‘He only got it out of me after a few glasses of wine’? Really? What else did he get out of you after those glasses of wine? Or, should I say, what did he get in you?” She snickered, as if that were the most brilliant comment ever.
“It sounds bad when you put it that way,” Madison said. “But I swear I haven’t slept with Oliver. You girls know me better than that.”
“Do we?” Larissa asked. “Because recently it feels like I don’t know you at all, and I know Kaitlin and Tiffany agree. Do you really want us to believe you and Oliver are just friends?”
“Yes,” she said, although it came out shaky. Because friends don’t make out in bed, or take off each other’s shirts…or wonder if one of them should lose their virginity to the other. But she couldn’t exactly say that right now. “And while I shouldn’t have told anyone about what’s been going on with my family, he gave me good advice. When I follow through with it—and I will soon—I’ll tell you everything. But the other people involved deserve to hear the truth directly, not through the grapevine. I swear it’s not about any of you, and that I wasn’t keeping it from you because I don’t trust you.” Well, she trusted Kaitlin and Tiffany…but Larissa was known for not keeping her mouth shut about anything. “It’s just not my place to tell.”
Diamonds in the Rough Page 27
