Antonius followed her into the house, knowing that Jubal would be through with his business for the day and that he would be preparing for supper.
Abigail and Jubal rose to their feet in surprise, Abigail’s eyes locked on her daughter’s distressed face. Raising her eyebrows, she sought the reason from Antonius.
“I must speak with you,” he told them quietly while Sara set about putting her things away. Antonius followed her with his eyes, wanting to reach out to her. Comfort her.
“Have a seat,” Jubal told him, “and share our supper.”
“I need to get some water,” Sara told them desperately and fled out the door. Antonius started to rise and go after her but realized her parents were waiting. Lowering himself back to the mat, he sighed heavily.
❧
Sara returned to find her mother in tears, her father preparing to come after her, and Antonius gone. She had been gone several hours, and though darkness had descended, she couldn’t bring herself to come back. She had lain on the grass watching the stars appear and wondering at God’s will for their lives. Oh, Dathan, Dathan. Are you with God? Remembering his life, she doubted it and felt even more sorrow.
Laying the empty water skin on the table, Sara went to her mother and tried to comfort her, only to realize that she was not wailing as the Jewish people normally did for their dead. Though her eyes were filled with tears, there was joy and acceptance there, also. Perplexed, she turned to her father.
“Antonius told us that you didn’t let him explain about your brother’s death,” he told her sorrowfully. “Perhaps you should have listened.”
“Listened! What could he say that could bring Dathan back? What could he say that would take away his guilt in this matter?”
“Dathan is with God,” her father told her quietly, and she curled her hands into fists at her sides.
“How can you say that? You know how he lived!”
“But I also know how he died,” he told her angrily, “and if you would listen, you would see the hand of God in all of this.”
Her father watched her struggling to comprehend his attitude and realized that he had failed her in this regard. He should have trusted God and not blamed the Roman for his son’s own foolishness. “Sit down, Sara,” he commanded quietly.
Sara sat on the mat next to the table where Antonius had been, the food forgotten. She picked up a date and began to twirl it in her fingers. Her father looked tired but somehow jubilant. She had missed something by staying away. Something important.
Her father sat across from her, crossing his legs. He began to explain to her what Antonius had told him about Dathan’s death.
Dathan had been assigned to the galley of a Roman warship. There had been ninety-nine other rowers, besides himself and the drummer. When the warship had gone to the aid of a grain ship coming from Alexandria that was being attacked by pirates, a fierce battle had ensued. The warship had rammed the pirate ship, but in doing so had busted open its own hull, causing the Mediterranean to rush in. Although Dathan had been one of the first freed, he had refused to leave without helping the others. He had gone down with the warship, still trying to free the other slaves.
Tears poured freely down Sara’s face, and she was filled with an acute pride in her brother. Her mother was sobbing softly in the kitchen area as she put away the supper dishes.
“I’m proud to know that he would die to save others,” she told her father softly. “But what of repentance?”
Jubal smiled at his daughter. “One of the slaves told Antonius when he was questioned that shortly after Dathan arrived, he started talking to them about God’s love. He sang hymns while he rowed and praised God whenever he had the chance. Many of the slaves who died with the ship died in the Lord, thanks to Dathan. He. . .” Jubal choked on the words, and Sara went swiftly to him.
“It’s all right, Father.”
Jubal hugged his daughter close, burying his face in her neck. He sobbed quietly for the loss of his only son.
“I don’t know how or why Dathan repented, but God has allowed us to know that he did.” Jubal pulled back from his daughter and looked seriously into her face. “And I will thank God every day for sending the Roman into our lives.”
Sara felt her heart lurch at his words. She had blamed Antonius for her brother’s death, when in all probability, he had saved his eternal life. What would have happened if Dathan had continued on the path he had chosen? Thank God for Antonius’s wisdom. Thank God for Antonius’s heart. Now how was she ever going to be able to apologize and ask forgiveness?
❧
Sara sat alone in the copse in the woods, knees drawn up under her chin. She was so still that a fallow deer entered the woods without suspecting her presence. She smiled slightly.
It had been a long time since she had come to her favorite spot. Her thinking spot. Not since the accident with Antonius. Sighing, Sara closed her eyes and brought his image to mind, but the only image she had was of blue eyes filled with hurt and pain. It had been several weeks, and still the memory wouldn’t go away. When she opened her eyes again, he was standing not more than twenty feet away. Thinking she was seeing a vision, she hastily closed her eyes and opened them again.
He was still standing there, more handsome than ever. His short white tunic was trimmed with purple, the color of the aristocracy, and his leather belt emphasized the leanness of his waist.
“I thought I might find you here,” he told her quietly. She looked for some kind of emotion but found nothing. Why was he here?
He walked over and sat down on the log next to her. Though he didn’t look at her or touch her, still she felt herself firmly attached to his presence.
They didn’t speak for several minutes, each concerned with their own thoughts. It was Sara who finally made the first move toward reconciliation.
“I was hoping I’d see you again and have the chance to apologize. To ask your forgiveness.”
He looked at her then, his face registering his surprise. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He leaned his head forward, pushing the palms of his hands against his eyes. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Sara’s heart went out to him. She could see now what she hadn’t seen at a distance. Tired lines radiated out from around his eyes, and he was thinner than before. His face was almost haggard.
“I forgave you a long time ago,” she told him softly. “My father told me about Dathan. I’m sorry I misjudged you. Please forgive me for the awful things I said. I let my Lord down terribly in my words and my actions.”
Antonius let out his breath, turning to face her. “I think you’re more like Jesus than you know,” he replied, then smiled at Sara’s astonished reaction. His smile faded as he continued to stare at her, his eyes resting on her lips. Suddenly he jumped to his feet and began pacing.
“Zeus! With my arrogance, it’s a wonder God didn’t strike me down dead. What I wanted, I took.” He looked down at her, and his voice quieted. “Even you.”
Sara looked away from him. “My parents have helped me to remember that everything that happened was by God’s will. I have a tendency to forget that.”
Antonius knelt in front of her, placing a hand on each side of her on the log. He was so close that Sara could smell the fragrance of sandalwood he used after his baths. She tried to move away, but there was no place to go.
He leaned forward until his lips were mere inches from her own. “As long as you don’t forget me,” he told her softly, huskily.
Sara’s heart pounded furiously. What was he trying to say? Did he care for her after all, or was he trying to assuage his feelings of guilt?
“I could never forget you,” she answered him softly.
A fire seemed to ignite behind his eyes, and she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, he leaned back, a dubious expression crossing his face.
“And what exactly do you remember?” he asked doubtfully.
Sara’s lips
twitched. “I remember a man who loved his sister so much he would do anything for her. I remember a man who tried to help his friend find happiness with the woman he loved. I remember a man who freed my parents when he had no need,” she finished softly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He turned his face away, embarrassed, but Sara reached out and gently turned it back so she could see his eyes. His hand went up to cover hers, holding it in place against his cheek.
“I wanted to, but I didn’t want you to feel beholden to me.”
Sara’s forehead creased in a frown. “I don’t understand.”
Letting go of her hand, Antonius rose to his feet, pulling Sara up and into his arms. He bent forward, kissing her gently on the nose.
“I love you, Sara,” he told her. “I want to marry you, but I didn’t want you to marry me because you felt you owed me. I freed you for the same reason. I wanted to make sure that what I felt for you was real, not just something physical whenever I was around you.”
Sara stared up at him, her mouth open in surprise. How many times had she dreamed those words, prayed for this moment. She loved Antonius with all of her heart, but she couldn’t marry him. Only in her dreams, her fantasies, but never for real. Diana realized the danger and stood firm against the temptation; how could Sara do less?
She tried to pull away, but Antonius wouldn’t let her. Did he know that just by holding her he could cloud her thinking? Every time it had been harder and harder to deny him.
“I can’t marry you, Antonius,” she groaned softly.
His brow furrowed, and his eyes lit with anger. “What do you mean, you can’t marry me? Are you trying to tell me you don’t love me? Because if you are, I don’t believe you.”
Swooping down, he kissed her passionately and felt her body melt into his embrace. Getting no resistance, Antonius gentled his kisses, reveling in Sara’s response. He lifted his lips slowly from hers and stared intently into her eyes.
“Now tell me you don’t love me.”
Sara’s body was trembling all over. Her legs would not support her and if not for Antonius’s arms, she would have found herself on the ground. She leaned her forehead against his chest and could feel his heart pounding with a rhythm to match her own.
“I don’t deny that I love you.” Her voice was muffled against his tunic, and Antonius had to strain to hear her. “But I can’t marry you.”
Realizing she meant what she said, Antonius jerked her back to face him. His face colored angrily, and his fingers bit into her arms.
“By the gods! You can’t mean it!” He shook her none too gently. “Why?”
Sara saw the pain in his eyes, and her own filled with tears. “I can’t marry you for the same reason Diana wouldn’t marry Flavius. You’re not a Christian.”
Dawning comprehension brought a sparkle to Antonius’s eyes, and his fingers relaxed their hold. “Is that the only reason?” he wanted to know, and Sara nodded her head.
“And what if I tell you that Flavius and Diana are to be married in three weeks?”
Sara jerked her head up in surprise. Had Diana given in after all? Had the temptation been too great? Poor Diana. She tried to push out of Antonius’s hold, but he still refused to let her go. There was laughter in his eyes, and Sara felt her temper begin to rise.
“I’m not Diana. I won’t marry a man unless he’s a Christian.”
“Then marry me,” Antonius demanded softly.
Ceasing her struggles, Sara stared at him in amazement. “You?”
“Yes, me.” He saw the doubt filling her eyes, and he began to shake his head. “No, Sara. Not just to marry you. I’ve learned a lot about Jesus in the last few months. Before, He was just a story about an insurrectionist. Now I know the truth. I’ve spoken to many people who witnessed His death, including General Titus, and I can’t doubt their words.” He rubbed his finger gently against her cheek, across her nose, and up her other cheek. “But even more than that, I’ve seen what He can do in someone’s life after His death. Take Diana, for instance.”
Sara felt as if her heart would burst with happiness. Oh, God had truly blessed her life. Now she understood what the apostle Paul had meant when he said that all things worked together for the good of those who loved God.
“Beloved,” Antonius whispered, pulling her more firmly into his embrace. “Marry me.”
Eyes shining, Sara shyly lifted her lips to his. Antonius marveled at her sweetness and how a few words had changed her from a fighting vixen to a soft lamb. His body responded to her show of love, and his kiss deepened. For the first time, Antonius felt like he had come home, welcomed by the one whom God had chosen for him from the beginning. He was awed by God’s patience, His goodness, and His love.
Things would not be easy, but with God’s help, all things were possible. Antonius reached for Sara’s hand, clasping it firmly in his own. He smiled down into her face, kissing her softly on her lips. Then turning, they walked out of the forest together.
Epilogue
Sara stared out her bedroom window at the sun rising over Ephesus. The beautiful columns of the Artemesion shone whitely against the morning sun, its pink rays spreading their fingers across the sleepy city.
How could someplace so beautiful be so full of evil? Everywhere, Satan had a grip on this city. A citizenry who prided themselves on their tolerance of other religions and their belief that they were more civilized than other races, and yet they sent hundreds to die in the arenas for their amusement.
Antonius came up behind her, sliding his arms around her already swollen waist. She sighed as he began to nibble on her earlobe and leaned back against him.
“Couldn’t you sleep?”
Sara shook her head. “I’m worried, Antonius.”
He sighed heavily. “As am I. Now that Nero is Caesar, I think things are going to become much worse for the Christians.”
“What can we do?”
Antonius turned her in his arms, kissing her lightly on the nose. “I think it’s time that I take you and the baby to safety. When things change, maybe we can come back.”
Sara felt the beginnings of real fear. “But where can we go?”
“I thought we might go to Alexandria, in Egypt.”
Sara’s mouth dropped open. “So far?”
“That’s the point, beloved,” he told her patiently. “Although it is an important city, it’s far enough from Rome to be relatively safe. Your parents have agreed to come with us.”
Smiling brightly, Sara hugged him. “How did you manage that?”
Antonius laughed. “I reminded Jubal how close Alexandria is to Jerusalem. Your father has a desire to see his home again.”
Suddenly sobering, Sara turned back to the window. “Before now, the only people who persecuted Christians were the Jews. Now it seems everyone is against us. Why? We preach nothing but peace and love. How can anyone hate those things?”
Resting his chin against the top of her head, Antonius sighed. “People don’t want to be reminded of their sins. They want life to accept them as they are, no matter how depraved they might be.”
“Perhaps God intends us to spread the Word. If not for this persecution, wouldn’t you be content to remain safely here in Ephesus?”
Antonius agreed. “I don’t know why these things have to happen. I don’t know why a good man like General Titus and his wife, Callista, had to be slaughtered in the arena. I only know that we have to trust in God.”
“And Diana?”
“She and Flavius have agreed to come, also.”
“Thank God,” Sara sighed in relief.
As the sun rose brightly in the morning sky, Antonius made arrangements for his family to leave Ephesus. They would travel a long way and become pilgrims in a strange land, but the Lord would always be with them.
Not long after they left Ephesus, Rome burned, and along with it much of what was still human and moral. Nero chose to blame the Christians, though there were those who said it was actual
ly Nero himself who ordered the destruction.
Far away in the land of Alexandria, Sara gave birth to a son and named him Zephaniah, because God had protected him from the evil and destruction of Rome.
Dear Readers
As an avid reader of romance, when I became a Christian in 1979, I noticed that there was a severe lack of Christian romance books. I was frustrated that there wasn’t something to replace the romances that I used to read that had become so ungodly. One day, I happened upon a Heartsong Presents special in our local Christian bookstore. I was so excited that I immediately bought several and then decided that maybe they could use more authors. (Boy, was I gullible!)
My love for history inspired the books that I wrote, and homeschooling my children helped me to find the inspiration for the stories as we studied. Now, my son is grown and proudly serving in the air force, and my daughter is married to a fine marine with two beautiful children. With the departure of my children, my husband, Allen, and I found ourselves with a lot of time on our hands. Nowadays I spend my time as part-time secretary of our church and working on the crafts that I love.
I will always be thankful to Barbour Publishing for giving me the chance to write. I love to hear from my readers, so please let me know if you enjoyed reading these stories as much as I enjoyed writing them.
God Bless,
Darlene Mindrup
Dedication
To my mother who taught me to be the best I could be.
And to my beloved husband who believes that I am.
Table of Contents
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Dear Readers
Dedication
The Eagle And The Lamb (Truly Yours Digital Editions) Page 15
