He should tell her. His gut tightened. He’d thought for certain that he was doing the right thing by not revealing his true identity to Meghan. As Animal-Magnet, he could teach her about the Lord since she wouldn’t listen to him as himself.
He thought back on their day today and it struck him that their relationship had shifted. The shy glance she’d sent his way or the warm smile that had lit her eyes hadn’t been there before. She’d always been distant, as if holding a part of herself back. But today, that had changed. The real Meghan was showing through the facade she allowed people to see.
Sure, her generous caring spirit always shone, but Meghan had a wounded soul. He had seen it today when she had looked at Misty. Was his deception destroying any possible good that could come from their relationship?
Chapter 16
Meghan sat in a booth across from her cousin at the little bistro she’d discovered last weekend. The low hum of voices filled the air of the casual, yet elegant, eatery, which was lit by several ornate lights and the morning sun.
Laura sipped her coffee and swallowed. “What’s going on? You seem disturbed.” She squinted. “Or, maybe it’s contemplative. I can’t tell. Talking things out always helps to clear my head.”
Meghan sighed. How could she explain her mixed feelings? “I don’t know where to start. I suppose I’m a little of both.”
“That sounds serious.” Laura raised a brow. “Maybe start at the beginning?”
Meghan pushed her plate aside. She couldn’t eat the crepe no matter how delicious it looked until she told Laura everything. Her cousin had always been the levelheaded one with all the right answers. “Okay, here it goes. I’ve been corresponding with a man online.”
Laura gasped. “No way.” She leaned across the table slightly.
“He’s a Christian, and I really like him.” Meghan sighed at her hands. “Okay, I more than like him.”
“What’s the problem, other than the obvious issue of meeting a stranger online?”
“I think I love someone else, too.”
“Love? Too? Wait a minute. You’re in love with this guy you’ve never met and with someone else?” Laura grinned. “I never thought I’d live to see the day you fell in love with one man much less two.”
“Hey! I’m not that emotionally stunted.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “Am I?” She hated how wimpy her voice sounded.
“Sweetie, I didn’t mean anything bad by that. You’ve always struggled with relationships, so I didn’t expect you to ever progress beyond friendship.”
Meghan narrowed her eyes and squeezed her hands into fists.
“Now hold on.” Laura tapped the table. “Before you get angry, hear me out. You’re the one who always says no man will ever love you. And because of that, you’ve never allowed yourself to love someone, at least not romantically. It’s a defense mechanism and very understandable. That is why I’m surprised, and for no other reason, so relax.”
Meghan flexed her fingers and took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. She knew Laura had been the right person to come to about this. “Okay. I understand. Sorry for my short fuse.” She giggled. “I’m a little stressed.”
“Tell me about the men.” Laura pulled a pad of paper and pen from her purse. “I’ll make a list of pros and cons for each of them.”
“I don’t think it’ll help. They are so similar to each other. Of course, I’ve never met Animal-Magnet in person. I don’t even know his real name. And I have no idea what he looks like.”
Laura’s jaw gaped.
Meghan pushed Laura’s mouth shut with the tip of her finger.
“I suppose we should start with Animal-Magnet,” Meghan said. “We share a lot of the same interests. He makes me feel important. He listens, always treats my questions like they matter...” She rattled off several more attributes then caught her breath with a sudden thought and waited until Laura looked up.
“Why’d you stop?”
“I just realized everything I said about Animal-Magnet is true of Ben.”
Laura wrinkled her nose. “Ben? As in ‘boring, too old for me’ Dr. Young?”
Meghan quirked a lopsided smile. “One and the same. I can barely believe it myself. I don’t know how or even when it happened, but I’m eating my words.” She shot a cheeky grin at her cousin.
“I have the memory of an elephant. But in all seriousness, you have a problem. The men are equal on all accounts, except you haven’t even seen what this Animal-Magnet looks like. Maybe he’s one of those people who is only perfect in writing and horrible or awkward in person. What if he’s feeding you a pack of lies?”
Meghan shook her head. “He’s not. I trust him. You can’t fake sincerity.”
“I disagree, but I’m not going to argue. Does your internet guy return your feelings?”
“I don’t know. I think, maybe, but I’m not sure.”
“What about Ben? Is there a possible future with him?”
Meghan thought back to their impromptu walk in the park and then their dinner in his office. He’d never come out and said he was interested in her, and by his own admission, he had tried to avoid her. What was she thinking falling for a man who would never return her love? There was only one thing worse than falling in love, and that was falling in love with someone who didn’t love you back. “I don’t think so.”
Laura’s expectant look turned to disappointment. “Then you have two options. Continue on the way you are or demand that Animal-Magnet meet you in person.”
“How?”
“Tell him he either meets with you or it’s over.”
Meghan’s heart thundered in her chest. What if he cut her off completely? She would miss their chats and his encouragement. Could she risk it?
Laura rested her hand over Meghan’s. “The only way this will work is if you are committed. You have to be willing to end things with him if he refuses to meet you.”
“But—”
“No buts. You can’t go on like this forever. It’s not fair to you.”
Meghan’s shoulders sagged. She couldn’t lose Animal-Magnet, but what Laura said made sense. They needed to move to the next step or end their relationship. “Okay. I’ll email him later.”
“Good. Now, let’s talk about Ben. What’s going on there? How did you fall for a man you called boring and too old for you only a month or so ago?”
She told her cousin everything then slumped against the booth seat.
“I want to pray for you, Meghan. I feel like you’re on the cusp of something major. I know you don’t like it when I pray for you, but I feel very strongly that I need to.”
Meghan’s fingers tingled in anticipation. God must really care about her if He prompted Laura to pray for her. “I don’t mind.”
Laura blinked, shook her head. “You’ve changed, Meghan.” She bowed her head and for the next three minutes, prayed.
Meghan eyed the hands on her watch tick by and cast a quick glance around the room as her cousin talked with God about her. Tears pooled in her eyes, and she blinked them away.
“Amen.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Let’s pay and get out of here.” Laura shivered. “I have goose bumps thinking about what God is doing in your life.”
Meghan raised a brow, unsure how to respond, but followed Laura’s lead. “So, about the men in my life?”
“Yes?” Laura cast a sideways glance as they strolled along the sidewalk.
“Please keep it between you and me.”
“I won’t say a word.”
Meghan breathed a little easier. “Thanks. I thought about trying out church again. May I come with you tomorrow?”
“Sure. Would you like a ride, or do you plan to meet us there?”
“I’ll
meet you, but save me a seat. I don’t want to sit alone. Actually save two. Cassie talked about wanting to go, too.”
“That’s great. Will do.” They waited for traffic to pass then crossed the street. “You mentioned both of the men are Christians. Is that why you’re suddenly interested in church?”
Meghan glanced at her cousin, unsure if she heard censure in her voice or just curiosity. Her face looked innocent enough, so she took the question at face value. “I think it might be, but a good friend became a Christian not long ago, and I’ve really seen a difference in her life.” She pursed her lips. “I think several factors are playing into my decision.”
Life had been steering her in that direction for a couple of months now. What she read in the Bible actually created more questions than answers, and she hoped going to church would help to answer some of them.
Laura stopped beside her car. “You want to hang out at my place today?”
“Thanks, but I should get home.” Animal-Magnet had added more Bible passages to her to-be-read list. Plus, she wanted to email him before she lost her nerve. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Meghan walked a half block farther to her Jeep and hopped in. Would Animal-Magnet agree to meet or would this email be the last she ever sent to him?
* * *
After an unusually quiet Sunday, Ben measured out popcorn into a brown paper bag and placed it into the microwave. Kernels exploded into deliciousness and filled his house with a much-loved aroma. The microwave beeped. He poured butter onto the fragrant popped corn then got comfortable on his worn leather couch.
Switching on the Mariners game, he eyed his laptop, which sat on his desk against the wall only a few feet away. He really should check email today since he hadn’t looked at it since yesterday. But every time he thought about it, his shoulders tensed and his stomach knotted. He knew he needed to tell Meghan the truth about who he was. Had known it for the past week, but he’d resisted.
Every day that passed without his secret revealed made it harder to do the right thing. What if she rejected him completely once she found out who he was? She liked Animal-Magnet. Somewhere along the line his heart had gotten tangled up in the deception and now revealing his identity felt impossible.
But, the guilt pressing down on him had become too much to bear. Sooner or later, he’d need to tell Meghan or he wouldn’t be able to work in the same building with her. With a growl, he tossed the remote aside. He snatched up the laptop then plopped back onto the couch. He would never have peace until he made things right.
He logged into his email and groaned. Two messages from Meghan. He clicked on the one sent yesterday, then opened the one sent today. His heart pounded. She wanted to meet! He closed his eyes. If he didn’t agree to meet her, she wrote, they were through. Maybe that was the way to go—the safe way. She’d never know, and he’d still have a chance as himself with her. She’d unwittingly provided him a way out of the situation.
“Lord, what do I do?”
The gravity of what he’d been doing smacked him in the head like a brick, rocking him to his core.
What had started as a joke had turned into something meaningful, but would the deception destroy the bond he’d made with Meghan?
Only one way to find out.
Hi Meghan,
You’re right. It’s time we meet face-to-face. I will be waiting at the gazebo in the village at 6:15 tomorrow night. I’ll be the man holding a bouquet of flowers.
Until tomorrow.
Yours,
Animal-Magnet
He pressed Send and breathed a little easier. Coming clean was the right thing to do. Not necessarily the easiest or the smartest if he ever hoped to pursue a relationship with Meghan, but he needed to clear his conscience.
And tell her his true feelings.
He’d spotted her in church that morning sitting with Laura and Josh. He had known she would be there since she’d informed Animal-Magnet she was going to her cousin’s church. Little did she know, it was his church, too.
He scrubbed his hand over his face. What would Meghan say when she found out he was Animal-Magnet? Would she be angry or laugh? Most importantly, would they be able to pick up in real life where they’d left off in cyberspace?
A knock at his door startled him from his thoughts. Frowning, he stood. How had someone managed to pull into his driveway without him noticing? He always heard the tires crunching the gravel. The situation with Meghan had driven him to distraction.
As he approached the door, he spotted his parents’ car through the living room window. He quickened his pace and yanked the door open. “Mom. Dad. This is a surprise. Come in.” He stepped aside as they entered
Mom sniffed. “You made popcorn. I should’ve known since there’s a game on.”
Dad scooted past him and sat in a firm chair that was easy for him to get in and out of. “Good. The Mariners are up by one. When we left, they were losing.”
Ben swept up his laptop and returned it to his desk. “Have a seat, Mom. Can I get you anything to drink?”
“Hot tea if you have any.”
“Earl Grey okay?”
She patted his arm before easing onto the couch. “You know it’s my favorite.”
He filled a mug with water and placed it into the microwave. Two minutes later, he added a tea bag, handed the cup to his mom and sat at the other end of the couch. His parents rarely just stopped in for a visit. Unease gripped him.
His mom sipped her tea, then rested the mug on an end table. “Your dad and I are concerned about you. You haven’t been yourself lately.”
“I’m fine.”
“You keep saying that, but I can tell something isn’t right. You’re dying, right? Is it cancer?”
“What? No!” He could barely believe the words. “How did you come up with that conclusion?”
“Then it must be a woman.” She looked to his dad. “You were right, dear.” She closed her eyes, and took a deep slow breath. “I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know you’re not dying. When you became so withdrawn, I didn’t know what else to think.”
Ben shook his head trying to make sense of the nonsense. “You thought I had either cancer or women troubles. I don’t understand the leap.” He shook his head. There was no use keeping Meghan from them any longer, especially if his parents had started imagining things.
“I know it was a leap,” his mom said, “but you always tell us everything.”
It was true he was very close to his parents. But he didn’t tell them everything—well, not lately. Maybe his mom made a valid point.
Dad switched off the television and silence descended upon the house. Both his parents stared at him expectantly.
“You do realize I’m a grown man?”
They nodded, but by the expressions on their faces, they didn’t care if he was fifteen or thirty-five. They expected an answer.
“The truth isn’t always what you expect, and it can be ugly. Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes,” they said in unison.
“Get comfortable then, because it’s a long story. It all started back when Dad suggested I look for a wife.”
“I never said that!”
“I believe your exact words were ‘Pray about a mate. The Lord is the ultimate matchmaker. You can trust Him with your heart.’” His words had shocked him so much, he’d run them over and over in his mind until he had committed them to memory.
His dad pressed his lips together.
“Like I said, it all started with that conversation and ended with a deception as tall as the Grand Coulee Dam.” For the next fifteen minutes, he told them everything, leaving nothing out. “That’s the entire story.”
“Wow. That was not what I expected.”
A dazed look settled over his mother’s face. “So you meet with Meghan tomorrow after work? Do you know what you’re going to say?”
Ben grinned. He’d expected judgment, even a lecture, but no, Mom had processed then moved on. “I’m going to tell her the truth—that I care about her and want to continue what we had in cyberspace.”
Mom frowned. “I’ll be praying, but son, I have a feeling you’ll rue the day you perpetuated this deception.” She stood. “Stop by the house tomorrow and let us know how it went.”
His dad sighed. “Now, Betsy, don’t be so bossy. The boy can call, too.” He winked at Ben and meandered to the door.
Ben walked his parents to their car. His mom was more correct than she knew. He already regretted the deception, but he hoped he hadn’t destroyed the fragile relationship he and Meghan had developed. By this time tomorrow, he’d have his answer.
Chapter 17
Meghan sat behind the wheel of her Jeep. Her pulse pounded in her ears. From her parking spot, she had a clear view of the gazebo. Would Animal-Magnet show? He had said he would, but what if he didn’t?
She glanced at the red skirt and white eyelet blouse she wore. She had rushed home from work to change into the outfit. Actually, she’d taken off an hour early to shower and do her hair. She couldn’t meet the man of her dreams smelling like a dog or cat. No, she must be perfect. Her hair rested at the base of her neck in a loose chignon. She hoped for understated elegance, but feared she’d turn out looking desperate. Maybe she should let her hair down.
Movement in the gazebo caught her attention. A tall man stood with his back to her. You can do this, Meghan. With one last look in the mirror to make sure nothing was out of place, she swung open her Jeep’s door.
On shaking legs, she strode to the gazebo. The man’s form seemed familiar. “Excuse me, but I’m looking for someone who goes by the name Animal-Magnet. Is that you?” The man ever so slowly turned to face her. “Ben! What are you doing here?” Her face heated. She looked over her shoulder first to her right, then to her left. Where was Animal-Magnet? She glanced at her watch—he was five minutes late.
A Match for Meghan (Heartsong Presents) Page 14
