by Tiana Laveen
Phoenix wasn’t a police officer, but in her mind, at one point in time, he’d been actually worse. He was the guy the cops answered to when a big drug bust went down. Phoenix was the head mother fucker in charge of the organization she despised and feared the most: The Drug Enforcement Administration. It was obvious the bastard relished the takedowns, the trickery and manipulation. He was too good at slinging that gun and landing those bullets. Phoenix loved to kill. The difference between him and Gable was the fact Phoenix planned his executions to precision. He wasn’t sloppy or excessive. His nose was kept clean during the light of day, but when the night fell, the dragon came out of the castle and terrorized the pillagers…
“I see my bottle of Chateau Lafite is empty, and in the trash. Tiffany, you better tell me that someone had you at gunpoint and demanded you drink every drop!” the man roared as he slammed the door behind him, startling her out of her deliberations. Metallica and Zeppelin dashed past her towards their master. He rubbed their heads as he kept his eye on her. She couldn’t help but smirk at his reprimand. “Did you enjoy it? My prized possession, my pride and joy? It’s been swallowed as if it were nothing more than a jug of milk.”
“It was your baby, huh? Delicious.” She smiled and swayed her hips, rubbing it in. “How much do I owe you? It was only a 1988. You’ll live.” She flipped her freshly washed tresses over one shoulder and yawned.
“No, it was originally purchased in 1988. That wine is over 100 years old.” She gasped, then covered her mouth and bellowed with laughter. “Sorry. But you’ll have to excuse me. It’s been a stressful day. I’m tired of bein’ cooped up in this house and my cousin is a son of a bitch. Brief me, tell me what we’re going to do.” She slumped down on the couch and folded one foot beneath her. His heavy footsteps approached. He leaned down, pressed his lips to hers, then took a seat beside her.
“All right, let’s get down to business.” He removed his shoes and set them off to the side. “I have one of two choices. I can admit that you’re with me, come up with some excuse, then turn you over to the FBI for interrogation. You could give a full confession and bypass that, or I can ship you out of here when the coast is clear, as we originally planned. Obviously, the first option is not an option. If I turned you over to the FBI, they’d interview you and by the time they were done with you, you’d be in jail awaiting trial, just like Gable.”
“But can’t you tell them to back off? I mean, it was you who found me, not them.”
“In layman’s terms, since the DEA is in the same ranking as the FBI, we can’t trump one another but we’re expected to work together, cohesively. I made a deal with you, but they could challenge it. I don’t trust anyone to make sure you’re protected in there due to the nature of the crimes, Tiffany. You won’t be treated fairly. You’re a Black woman who was working in the inner city selling and distributing illegal narcotics with a well-known drug dealer and pain in the ass, your cousin, Gable Johnson. I’ve seen it too many times; they won’t give you the time of day and it’ll be a wrap before you even get to court.”
“But what about the fact that I cooperated?”
He smirked at her and shook his head.
“You didn’t exactly cooperate, but that’s neither here nor there. I know the point you’re driving at. Without your help, this would’ve taken me significantly longer and by then, he could’ve fled the country. The FBI definitely wouldn’t have caught him in time; they didn’t even have him as a lead. He was in Texas, just like you said, on his way to Mexico. They got him just in time.”
“I went through all of that shit with you when you grabbed me and took me to Nevada for nothin’! I was trying to save his ass more than my own! And the thanks I get is him trying to pin these murders on me. I’ll admit to any court my part in this, all right?” Her eyes grew larger as the grim reality sunk in. “I know I’ve done wrong, and I might have to pay for that with my life, regardless of everything you’ve done to help prevent that, but this doesn’t change the fact that if people believe him, I’m done, Phoenix. I’ll never be safe anywhere I go.”
He leaned back in his seat and stared at her. “Baby, did you really think he wasn’t going to try to save his own ass?” She exhaled loudly, placed a hand on her forehead and closed her eyes. “Of course, he threw you under the bus. He’s in big trouble and there’s really no way out of this unless he can successfully convince other people that you did this all on your own.”
“But you don’t know him like I do, Phoenix. We were there for one another, through thick and thin!”
“Were you?” His brows furrowed. “Look at what he’s done, Tiffany. All of these years he’s taken credit for your success, planning and effort. This man is like the Wiz in the Wizard of Oz.” She chuckled mirthlessly at his words. “He rarely gave credit when credit was due. That’s why the police knew little about you in the first place, even though you were the captain of the ship. The only reason why you started to garner a reputation in your world is due to him finally realizing he needed you up front and center. He couldn’t relay a plan like you could, and he couldn’t convince certain circles to move like you could.”
“You’re damn straight about that,” she murmured under her breath.
“You have a way of making people feel like you work for them, when it’s actually the other way around. Why would you honestly expect him to change up at the worst possible time, when his life depends on him being who he naturally is? A coward and a fraud.”
“I don’t know, Phoenix, but we worked like a well-oiled machine, and I guess I fooled myself into believing us being family would mean something to him. He had street cred and was the muscle behind the machine. I drafted the blueprints, so to speak. Honestly, Phoenix, I knew there was a chance he’d turn into an absolute punk and liar but I would’ve hoped, after all he and I had been through, he would’ve thought better of it, you know? I’ve gotten this fucker out of some stuff you wouldn’t believe.” She flopped back against the couch and shook her head with regret.
“What can I do to make this better for you, Tiffany? Maybe buy you a new lamp for the one you threw at me and busted?” He grinned as he stroked her leg.
She chuckled at his words, but there was far too much pain in her laughter. She knew she wasn’t fooling him; she sure as hell wasn’t fooling herself, either.
“When it simmers down a bit and they spread out—which, by the way, I know where they’re searching and when—I will get you over to Canada. If something changes, I’ll let you know.” He dug in his pocket, removed his keys, and placed them on the table before them.
“You know, I’ve been thinkin’.” Reaching over, she took his hand and held it, squeezed it. The warmth of his touch and the sexiness of his gaze made her stomach flip. “I don’t want to leave the United States, Phoenix. I wish there was another way, some other way out.” She blinked back more tears. “I know this is going to sound silly coming from me, but I need a do-over button, and not like this.”
“That’s why you’re going to Canada, to start over. What worries you about it?”
“Yeah, but this isn’t what I had in mind. I know I’m in no position to call any shots, and please don’t think I’m not grateful. I am. But it’s just that I love my country. This is the land of opportunity. I mean, isn’t that what men like you stand for? The symbolism of the American flag, the constitution? Even with all the racist bullshit I’ve endured, and the sexism too, I know I can manage. I can make things happen here. I’m sure Canada is great, but this is all I know.”
“Canada is ideal in your situation for a number of reasons, one of which, it won’t be a cultural shock to you. This is good. You’ll be fine.” His smile appeared forced.
“But what about you?”
“I’ll be fine, too.” He kept that same old fake grin, which looked ridiculous. “If they find out my true involvement with you, then I will deal with that when the time comes.”
“No … not that. What if … what if I don’t wan
t to leave you?” His smile slowly dissipated, leaving the truth bare. The weight of it filled the room as he squeezed her hand a bit harder. His grasp then loosened and he slipped away.
Clasping his hands, he finally answered her.
“Tiffany, I just don’t see any other way out of this.”
“You’ve been distant,” she stated quietly as she crossed her legs, feeling suddenly chilly.
“Yes, I have. I’ve nursed a growing love for you that I can’t fully describe. On paper, it doesn’t seem we’d have anything in common, but we do … we understand one another completely. I’ve tried to stay away from you, but I can’t. The only way to ensure that you’re okay though is to get you over the border into Canada. I will have someone waiting for you who will help. You won’t be alone.”
She couldn’t stand looking at him. Gripping a pillow to her chest, she shook her head, wishing she couldn’t feel the emotions that welled within her.
“Tiffany … say something please. At least try to understand.” He drummed the coffee table with his fingertips, looking at his hand move across the swirled marble.
“Oh, I understand,” she sneered. “But what tha fuck do you want me to say?” She chewed on her lower lip … and then she saw it, that slight sheen over his eyes…
“I love you, Tiffany. I don’t think I even have to really say that. But—”
“But you can’t be with me. It’ll never work. It’s you, not me, right? You’ve got too much baggage and now got stock in grocery sacks, what? That’s not it?” Anger radiated out of him when she spoke those words, but he didn’t dare interrupt. “Okay, how about this one: a dope girl is too ironic of a girlfriend and maybe even embarassin’ for a fancy but psycho fucker like you. But the pussy is hot, juicy and soooo good, you drill it like oil so the President can stop relying on Iraq for gas, you son of a bitch! Which is it? It’s multiple choice, mothafucka. Pick one!”
Her words came out harsh, the tone dry and cold, just as she wanted it to sound. Leaning forward, he balled his fists tight, his jaw twitching. How she enjoyed how he tried to maintain his composure and not lose his shit…
Checkmate…
On a deep sigh, he spoke calmly, “Tiffany, I understand you’re upset but this shit right here isn’t helping. I’m doing this not because I don’t want to be with you … but because I can’t. I don’t want to do this.” He leaned back against the couch and shook his head. “Do you realize I’ve done hundreds of these sort of investigations? Not once have I ever become romantically involved with a woman I had to interrogate or taken into custody. Not one!”
“But how many did you bring to your goddamn house?! Tell me that was all for my own protection!” She jumped up from the couch and pointed down at him.
“None…”
“Look me in my face and lie. I dare you! You cared about me long before we even reached your front door.” She pointed up ahead. “Stop hiding behind your badges, accolades, special training and impressive titles. I don’t give a fuck about any of that. I only care about who you are on the inside … the good parts of you, the bad and the ugly. I thought you felt the same way about me!”
“I do!”
“How could you do this, just throw me away? I’m in love with you, Phoenix!”
“Don’t you think I know that?! You think this is easy for me, Tiffany? You think I’m sleeping like a baby knowing what’s to come?! I’m all fucked up inside about it!”
“Then do something about it! You aren’t afraid to run into burning meth labs, take down dangerous drug lords like the infamous Carlos Rodriquez, but you’re terrified to hold tight to me and fight for us! You called Gable a coward. Well, I guess it takes one to know one, now don’t it?” Her entire body felt like an inferno, a rage that could never be extinguished. She turned to run away, but the big man grabbed her arm and pulled her down upon him, holding her close as she sobbed against his chest. It was all too damn much!
She’d lost access to her family, her best friend was in prison and had turned his back on her, a dangerous crew had put a hit out on her, and the only man she’d ever been truly in love with in her entire life was going to ship her off like a FedEx parcel. And, to add insult to injury, she would always be looking over her damn shoulder for the rest of her natural born life. If this was what the future held, she was no longer sure she wanted to be a part of it.
He simply wouldn’t let go no matter how she struggled. He was so strong, his grip so tight. Laying a kiss on her cheek, he made soothing noises to calm her down. “Please listen to me … just listen to me, baby. I need to tell you something…”
She slowed her movements, listening, though her body still wanted to escape from him altogether.
“The place where I took you in Nevada, I designed that when I was an agent in active duty. It was an old warehouse and I wanted to create an atmosphere that would foster the driven results I’m known for, results I’ve achieved from interrogating even the toughest of criminals. I own the property, the land, all of it. I am still a consultant with the DEA and my expertise is called upon often.” She looked up into his eyes.
“I know that already, Phoenix. It doesn’t bother me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t understand. Let me finish. I work for the government, not just as a Director of the DCP, but also in a special role where I must undertake extremely dangerous missions involving drug cartels and drug lords. My specialized skills and expertise are valued. These cases don’t make the news. They are top secret and I lead them. They are for interrogations, then exterminations, period. No middle ground…When these people see me arrive, they know what I’ve come to do, why I was brought in. If I’m spotted too soon or make one false move, I could die any day of the week, with no warning.” He gripped her face in his hands, his eyes intense. “I … do things, Tiffany. Things that I have to do, to help keep people safe.
“Only a handful of people know about this, and they are the ones who call me to take care of these matters. I’m only called on when things have gotten really out of hand, and they have nowhere else to turn. That’s how I make the majority of my money, baby. These special assignments are so dangerous and oftentimes involve such dishonorable people in the drug trade world, that anyone I’m affiliated with could be targeted if someone tried to seek revenge against me. That’s why I have no children! It’s a choice! That’s why my ex-wife and I are no longer together. She wasn’t mentally able to deal with it. I can’t let anything happen to anyone I love, and I have to do what I do. I must. I don’t want anyone I love in the crossfire… I love you too much to let anything happen to you…”
“I can handle myself, Phoenix. Why can’t you trust me enough to see that I of all people understand and accept the risks that are associated with being with a man like you? These are just excuses, and if you believe what you’re saying to me, then you’re lying to yourself.”
“I’m not afraid to love you. I’m not afraid to hold onto you. Under any other circumstances, I’d keep you by my side. We’d have a real life together … movies, concerts, candlelight dinners … anything you wanted, I’d get it for you. But the way things are, I can’t have you caught up in all of that, regardless if you think you understand and accept the consequences or not.” He wiped a tear from her cheek. “I believe you can make it this time, go a different route—the one you were meant to be on.”
“And that route was supposed to be with you!” she cried. “I am not going to stand here and try to convince a man to want me. I wasn’t raised in no fuckin’ ghetto. I chose that lifestyle so that I could learn from the streets, the best teacher of all. I’m attracted to things I’m not supposed to have or touch, and definitely not supposed to see. That is a part of me. It will never change whether I’m living here, in Canada, or under a prison cell. My natural inquisitiveness and persistence are what draws people to me, but I learn fast. I learn quick.” She snapped her fingers. “I didn’t fuck you to gain an advantage or to seduce you. I fucked you beca
use I care about you, I liked what I saw, I wanted to feel you inside of me and to set the goddamn standard. No one you touch after me, for the rest of your damn life, will even come close to what I could’ve given you. I’m done. Go ahead, ship my ass off to Canada, ASAP. Besides, I got my own pussy. I don’t need a man that’s one, too!”
Turning her back to him, she stormed off, Metallica and Zeppelin following behind.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
With the dogs chasing behind her, she went to her room—the guestroom. That was an appropriate name, for she damn sure wasn’t his woman. As Tiffany settled at the vanity to redo her braids, the bedroom door burst open and bumped hard against the wall, causing a picture to crash to the ground and the glass frame to crack. The dogs jumped up and raced out the room, while their master stood in the doorway, nostrils flared and legs spread, arms on each side of the door frame. All she could do was grasp the edge of the vanity and blink as he stormed towards her like a human tornado. Yanking her up and out of the chair like a yo-yo, toppling the thing on its side, he slammed her back against the wall.
“Get yo’ motherfuckin’ hands off me.” She swallowed, scared out of her damn mind. When he pressed his weight into her, the air left her damn body and she couldn’t scream like she wanted to.
“Don’t you ever speak to me like you did downstairs again. Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” he spoke so smoothly, while jerking down the zipper of his pants. The rage within him turned the room into a spastic inferno and the heat from his mouth burned her face … like a dragon teasing its prey.
“I damn sure wasn’t talking to Zeppelin or Metallica. There would be no need; they’re far more loyal.” She winced when he roughly shoved her thighs apart with a swift swipe of his knee and wedged himself between her legs. The fabric of her panties ripping filled the air as he tore them away from her body. “Uh! God!” And then he drove his cock inside her, his thrusts brutal, alarming, filthy, and just right…
