by Tiffani Lynn
When I can finally speak I ask, “What are you doing here? You have a game in a few hours.”
“Doc called me earlier to tell me it would be within the next couple of hours so I came here right after morning skate. I couldn’t let you face this alone. I’m glad I got here when I did.”
“Me too. Thank you for coming.” I sniffle and wipe at my nose with the sleeve of my shirt.
“Anything for you, honey.”
We sit for a little longer until I call the nurse to handle everything. Finn stays with me and makes a few calls of his own as I zone out. Then he loads me into his truck and drives away. It didn’t occur to me to worry about how I would get my vehicle or anything else for that matter. I’m numb and all I can really feel is thankful that I don’t have to worry about making any decisions.
Finn gets me home where Tanisha is waiting for me with open arms. As she folds me into her embrace I cry hard for a long time. When I finally pull away Finn is there and telling Tanisha he’s drawn a bath for me.
I follow him to the bathroom and stand there as he undresses me like a fragile child. He leads me to the bath and waits until I’m submerged to my shoulders before he speaks.
“I called Tanisha to come stay with you while I’m at the game. I didn’t want you to be alone yet and I can’t miss the game. I’ll be back here as soon as it’s over.”
As I look up to meet his eyes I can see the worry and sadness in them so I reach a dripping hand out of the tub and stroke the stubble on his cheek. “Thank you, Finn.” I muster up the best smile I can but I know it’s lackluster.
He turns his lips into my hand and kisses my palm. “Anything for you, honey. Now let me wash your back and shoulders. He grabs a wash cloth from the rack behind my toilet and wets it in the water then he squeezes my shower gel on it. I lean forward and he moves in comforting circles from my neck, down my back and back up again, over my shoulders and down my arms. Once he’s done he passes me the sponge and says, “I have to get changed so I’m not late. I’ll be back with one of your towels from the dryer in about ten minutes so finish up. Okay?”
I nod and he leaves the room. How the hell am I supposed to get through this?
Chapter Seventeen: Finn
Thank God we win the game. That helps cut down on post game discussion from the coach. I do an interview and then I clean up and drive back to Darcy’s. I felt bad leaving her but I know Tanisha will take care of her. I decided it’s really hard to be a guy in these situations. As a man I want to fix any problem she has, but this problem has no solution but time and love. I have both to give, but until then it breaks my heart to think she’ll be hurting.
When I come through the door to her apartment it’s quiet. I can hear the television on low so I work my way into the living room to find Darcy curled up with her head in Tanisha’s lap. She appears to be sleeping. Tanisha’s eyes meet mine and I can tell she’s been crying also.
“She’s been out for about an hour. Doc stopped by and dropped off sleeping pills. She needed them after her mom died too,” she whispers.
“Let me go change and then I’ll carry her to bed.”
“Go ahead and eat too. You have to be starved. I left you a plate in the microwave.”
“I am. Thank you for thinking of me. I didn’t want to stop to eat, I was afraid to leave her too long.”
“What are you going to do when you have to go on the road?”
“I don’t know. I guess we will have to figure it out. We go back in four days. I don’t want to leave but I can’t take off during the playoffs.”
“We can work it out. I’ll help. Let me know your travel schedule so I can fill in where she needs it. Doc said he’d help at the club if we need it.”
“Okay, I’ll change and eat and you can either stay in the guest room or you can head home. I have to be back at the rink in the morning at eleven but I should be back around twelve thirty and then gone again for a game tomorrow night.”
She nods her understanding and brushes hair away from Darcy’s face in a loving way. Half an hour later, I’m fed and changed so I lift her in my arms and carry her to bed. Tanisha is going to stay so I let her turn off the lights. I shut the door to Darcy’s room with my foot and ease her onto the bed crawling in behind her to spoon. I kiss her hair and whisper, “I love you, Darcy.” Then I fall asleep, not waking until my alarm goes off at eight thirty the next morning.
****
Thank God I have the day of the memorial service off. I stand close to Darcy trying to be supportive but not smothering while she gets through this. It’s not an easy feat since she seems so far out of it. Never having been though the loss of anyone this close to me it’s hard for me to understand but I’m trying. The memorial is being held in the recreation hall at Happy Faces Facility so Georgia’s friends could all come. The weather has been awful so she decided no graveside service would be necessary. Tanisha, James, Charles, Enrique, a friend named Audrey from high school that I’ve never met, a few of the staff from the club and even my buddy Bobby from the team drove all the way here for her.
When it’s all said and done I take her back to her place and sit on the couch with her watching some old sitcoms she had recorded. I’m due to leave the next day for a three-day road trip and she says she won’t go back to work for a week. I’m glad more than anything because I don’t want her any where near James until I can set him straight.
Luckily, with all this funeral stuff going on he hasn’t been able to get to her. I’m still pissed he lied to me and tried to split us up. She may not see what his game is, but I do and with my white hot temper he’d better watch his back. When I return from my road trip James and I are going to have words and I don’t care who gets pissed about it. I don’t want to leave town every time worried that asshole will try to break us up. I need to be focused on my game. The playoffs are here and we are contenders for the cup this season. I’m already distracted by thoughts of her, I don’t need to add his shit to the equation.
****
While on the road I text Darcy every chance I get and talk to her every night after the games. Our conversations aren’t long but they happen and I feel a lot better once we hang up. I can tell though that she’s getting bored staying at home. She says she hasn’t been able to paint or focus enough to read a book so she’s watched a ton of movies and television. As active as she normally is I’m certain she’s getting stir crazy.
As our plane touches down I power up my phone and wait for the signal to show. A loud ding indicates a message so I click to open it and read the message from Darcy letting me know she went to the club tonight. She was tired of sitting around doing nothing.
Fuck!
I grab my shit and haul ass to my truck. Instead of going home I drive like a bat out of hell to Eden’s. Number one, I’m not certain Darcy is okay. Number two, I don’t want her anywhere near James without a word from me first.
By the time I arrive, the parking lot is almost full. I heard Charles tell her at the funeral attendance has been up so I kind of expect this. Christina greets me with her usual smile and tells me I can find Darcy in her office. I cut through the lobby and down the hallway to get there. As usual, the door is closed so I knock and walk in. What I see sets my blood on fire. Darcy is standing beside her desk with her hands at her sides while James holds her face in his hands with his mouth on hers.
“What the fuck?!” I roar. All sanity has bled out of me and the rage I pent up over the last couple of weeks jumps to the surface.
Darcy jumps back like she’s been burned and James turns to smirk at me. I don’t give him enough time to look too smug as I fly across the room and throw a punch hard enough to sink him to the ground. One shot and he’s out. I’m breathing so heavy it’s the only sound you can hear in the room. Red rage clouds my vision as the adrenaline courses through me.
Darcy’s standing with wild eyes and a frightened expression on her face. Her shoulders are tight while her arms are locked at her sides
. I step over the now unconscious James moving toward her. She doesn’t say a word so in all my fury I repeat myself, “What. The. Fuck?!”
“He just kissed me. I didn’t expect it.” Her voice is trembling and I should heed that warning but I’m so pissed I can’t. I knew that asshole was working an angle. Just waiting for me to be out of range.
“Did you want it?” My eyebrows push together as I wait for her answer.
She wrings her hands together as she answers, “No. I don’t know. No.” She seems unsure and my gut spins at the idea that she wanted his kiss.
“Are you kidding me, Darcy? Either you do or you don’t. Which is it?”
“I don’t know; I didn’t do it. He kissed me.”
“That’s not what I asked, Darcy. Did you want it?”
There’s a long pause and I get it. It’s crystal clear. She wanted it. Fuck. I can’t deal with this and before I lose my mind and bring this building to the ground with my fury I have to get out of here. I spin and stride to the door.
“Wait, Finn. I didn’t mean it.”
I don’t turn around but I ask, “What didn’t you mean?”
“Any of it.”
“But you still let it happen. I warned you that’s what he wanted and you didn’t listen but now I’m thinking you didn’t listen because you didn’t want to. I don’t even know what to say. All I’ve thought about since we’ve met is you. I’m one hundred percent all the way in love with you. Not a question, not a doubt, nothing. I. Love. You. I stayed with you as much as I could while everything was going on with your sister and made sure you were taken care. I’ve done everything I can think of to make you happy and comfortable, but once again my efforts aren’t enough.”
I don’t wait to hear her reply I slam the door behind me and rush back to my car. My head is spinning and my whole body aches with heartbreak. It didn’t even hurt this much to see my ex-fiancée with that sleaze ball she was cheating on me with. I drive home and pound the bottle of scotch I saved for a rainy day and thank God I don’t have to be at the rink at all tomorrow.
****
I wake up to the strange feeling that someone is watching me so I open my crusted eyelids and roll my head on my pillow first to the right, then left. I’m met with the vision of Darcy stretched out on her side, head in her hand staring at me. She brushes my hair away from my face and for a second I’m happy to see her. My stomach ends that feeling when it pitches and attempts to revolt. That’s when it all comes back to me. The kiss. The knock out. Her answers. I squeeze my eyes closed at the memories hoping to rid my mind of their existence. I turn my face away and her raspy voice cuts clean through me.
“Finn, look at me.”
I can’t.
“Finn,” she says it more firmly this time.
I roll my head back to the side and look at her.
“Listen to me for a minute, okay. Don’t say anything. Don’t get up and leave. Just listen. Last night shouldn’t have happened. I didn’t heed your warnings about James. I didn’t see it. I didn’t realize he was into me. I’m sorry for that. I didn’t let him kiss me. You walked in right as he was doing it so you saw the whole thing. I was going to push him off but it all happened so fast. After you left I waited for him to wake up and then I had a conversation with him.
“He lost his chance eight years ago when he cheated on me. It’s something I can’t forget. I forgave him because I don’t care anymore, but I’ll never forget. I love James as a friend and I explained that to him. He has no illusions anymore about that. He planned to press charges on you but I talked him out of it. He’s taking a leave of absence for a couple of months to get his head on straight. In the interim Charles is going to help me. As for all you’ve done for me over the last few weeks, I’ll never forget that. Your tenderness and thoughtfulness were exactly what I needed every step of the way. I’m still not over her death and won’t be for a long time. I loved my sister with all my heart and that’s not easy to let go so you’ll have to bear with me longer if you stick around.
Her eyes are glued to mine when she says, “I’m in love with you, Finn. I have been for awhile I was just afraid to say it. Afraid for you to know it. I’m not anymore and I’m sorry about everything last night. Can you forgive me?”
Her palm rests on my cheek, thumb stroking my beard now as she looks down at me with pleading eyes.
I let out a breath that I’m sure smells like garbage and reply, “Yes, I can forgive you. I love you too. I’m sorry I lost it. I have a nasty temper and I held it in check for awhile so it was worse than usual. I’m sorry.”
Her thumbs graze my lips and she smiles a sad smile then kisses my forehead. At that moment I’m cursing myself for drinking the whole bottle of scotch. I smell like a distillery and a trash heap mixed, but if I brush my teeth right now I’m going to puke.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” I question, noting the dark circles under her sleepy eyes.
“No. I was afraid I’d miss you waking up.”
“I’m going turn to my side so I don’t breathe on you. Come spoon me and after we get some sleep we can make up properly,” I tell her.
Her smile is much brighter when she says, “Sounds like a plan.”
Chapter Eighteen: Darcy
After everything that happened with James, Finn picked up the pace to our relationship. There is no denying where things are headed and quickly so when he asked me to fly to Toronto to meet the rest of his family, meaning grandparents, cousins, friends and of course the dreaded sister, Roxy, I was nervous but delighted. He was at morning skate when my flight arrived so he sent a car for me and had it deliver me to the arena so I could be there when he was done.
I’m sitting in the stands a section over from where the press is hanging out, watching as they finish up the last of their drills. I haven’t ever really been a sports fan but watching Finn effortlessly handle the puck and skate like he was walking on bare feet I know I’ll never tire of watching him play. After the practice I meet him outside the locker room where he greets me with a toe curling kiss.
We join his family for lunch where I finally meet Roxy. I’m really nervous about it, afraid if she doesn’t like me it’ll be the kiss of death for me and Finn. I know he’s close to his family and if there’s friction than I’m the odd man out. It’s the same issue I faced when I met his parents and other sisters in Chicago.
During lunch Celeste and Jasmine help to take the tension off as we chat and laugh like old friends. Roxy watches me like a hawk and it’s obvious she is sizing me up. She finally decides to address me. “What do you do for a living, Darcy?” I panic a little worrying she might know about Eden’s Odyssey.
Before I can answer, Finn saves me by saying, “She’s an artist.”
“An artist?” It’s obvious she’s skeptical.
“Yes, an artist, a painter. A talented one too.” He tells her.
“How do you support yourself that way?”
“Sell my pieces for a lot of money?” I shrug and ask more than answer.
“So what do you think about my brothers millions?”
There is an audible gasp from around the table and it’s his mother oddly enough who reprimands, “Roxanne, that is quite enough.” Her embarrassment is obvious but Roxy ignores her.
“It’s okay Mrs. Thompson. I’ll answer her.”
I square my shoulders, sit up straight and answer, “I don’t think about your brother’s millions, because I have my own. Between my art and my inheritance, I’m quite well off myself. I don’t need your brother’s money.”
Her faced turns sour liked she’s eaten something bad.
Finn’s arm around my shoulder tightens as he addresses her. “It’s bad enough Roxy, that she pays for every other date so as “not to drain me dry” but now your little inquisition is going to make it worse. I bet you’ve never even paid for your own meal on a date,” Finn spits at her. If he were a cartoon character steam would be shooting out of his ears.
&n
bsp; Instead of getting my feathers ruffled I address the whole table so there aren’t any questions. “I love Finn because he’s tall, strong and handsome and when I’m with him I feel safe. He’s thoughtful and helpful, intelligent and interesting. Neither money nor hockey star status has ever factored in for me. He makes me happy. I only hope I can give the same to him.”
I turn to him to judge his reaction and find that his face has gone soft. He leans in and brushes his lips against mine as he smiles. Nothing else is said about that. After lunch Roxy loses the attitude and even invites me for a pedicure with her. I gather that this is her attempt at an apology. Finn declines for me because he had plans for us.
He takes us to the hockey rink he grew up playing in and borrow skates from Celeste for me to use. His plan is to teach me how to shoot the puck. Disastrous is the only way to describe our little outing. I’m a terrible ice skater and even worse shooter so after an hour he leads me off the ice and kneels down in front of me to remove my skates.
“You don’t have to do that, Finn, I can get them off.”
He gazes up at me with a huge smile on his face and informs me, “I brought you here because this place holds a lot of my special memories. I learned to skate here, I learned to play hockey here. My team won the championship here in high school. When I got drafted we had the party here. Today I want to add another amazing memory here.”
My brows draw together in confusion. He sets my skates down with a clunk and lifts up a little blue box. My heart stops and my breath catches.
“Darcy Baxter, my love for you is so deep I know it’s a forever kind of love. I can’t imagine going another day in my life without you as my wife. I want to see the world with you, have a little hockey team of our own, and live every day knowing that I’ve got the love of the most amazing woman. Will you marry me?”
