by J. Kenner
He held out his hand for me, then led me toward the stairs. "Where are we going?"
"The deck," he said, and though I considered protesting--what if there were other people around?--I held my tongue. I was pretty sure we were alone. And even if we weren't, I couldn't deny the excitement that came from the possibility of being watched.
"It's time for dessert."
"Oh." I decided not to ask what had happened to dinner. "What's for dessert?"
"You are," he said, with an enigmatic grin.
We arrived on the deck and he walked me to one of the large, padded lounge chairs. The sun had finished its descent and now the lake was dark.
"Lay down," he said, and I complied, looking up at the night sky, the stars hidden behind the gray sheen of the city's glow.
He ran his finger down the length of my body, slowing as he slipped between my legs, cupping my heat and then sliding two fingers deep inside me. I spread my legs wider, wanting more of him, knowing I was wet enough that I could take more, that he could stretch me as wide as he wanted.
But he didn't. Instead, he moved away, smiled down at me, and returned below.
I remained on the lounge, frustrated.
And then, when he didn't return right away, I slipped my own hand between my legs, slowly circling my clit, wanting to take the edge off the pressure building inside me.
"Naughty," Evan said, his voice soft from where he stood on the far side of the deck. "That's for me to touch, and me only."
"I--"
"I'm very proprietary about what belongs to me," he said. "But we'll worry about your punishment later. Right now, I have a treat."
He moved closer, and I could see that he was holding a bowl full of strawberries. There was a can tucked under his arm, too, and it took me a second to recognize it as whipped cream.
I laughed, then stopped when he pressed a fingertip to my lips. Then he took a strawberry and fed it to me. It was ripe and delicious, and I sighed with satisfaction.
"Now close your eyes," he said. "And maybe I'll give you a few more."
I bit back a grin, but complied. Then I heard the shaking of the can. Then the aerosol sound of the cream being dispensed.
And then I felt the cool, soft, wet chill on my breast. Then down my belly. Then all the way to my sex.
"Oh, god, Evan. Holy fuck, that feels good. Strange. Good."
"I'm very glad to hear it. Now open your eyes but don't move."
I obeyed and felt every tiny sensation as he took a single strawberry, then rubbed it over my cream-covered breast before popping it in his mouth. He took another, then another. And all the while it was all I could do to lay still.
"I've made a bit of a mess," he said, with a devilish grin. "I better clean it up." He bent his mouth to my breast, and I gasped and squirmed as he licked every bit of cream up, driving me just a little bit crazy in the process.
And then he used a berry to follow the trail down my belly.
My stomach muscles twitched as he moved lower and lower. My sex throbbed. I was so hot that I was certain the cream had melted into a liquid goo. But he wasn't inclined to hurry. His tongue laved me all over, lapping up the cream, moaning with pleasure as he swallowed and tasted, nipped and sucked.
In front of me, the skyline rose, the buildings lit like jewels against the night sky. I felt much like those buildings, as if I was light from within, only a few pinpricks of illumination escaping from wherever his tongue had seen fit to tease me.
And he was teasing lower and lower until finally there was just the triangle of my sex. Then my slick folds, a combination of my own arousal and the froth of cream.
His tongue stroked me, deeply and efficiently, as if it was his obligation to get every last bit of cream. And with each lave of his tongue, I felt the orgasm building inside me, tighter and tighter and tighter, until finally I soared even higher than the skyline and burned at least as bright as the lights in the sky.
"Wow," I said, when I came back to earth. "I like your dessert."
I eyed him hungrily, noting his erection beneath his shorts before tilting my head up to meet his eyes. "Got any more cream?" I asked, then made a show of licking my lips. "Because if you do, I know exactly what kind of treat I want."
His laugh reverberated through me. "Sweetheart," he said as he unbuttoned his shorts. "You can have as much as you want."
seventeen
I spent the next few nights on the boat with him, popping into the condo only to reassure Peterson I was alive and get fresh clothes. Most nights we spent on the boat, making love under the stars, relaxing on the deck with wine, or snuggling in the stateroom and watching everything from Terminator to The Hangover to The Untouchables. We settled into a comfortable familiarity that I loved, and the only time I felt unhappy or insecure at all was when I remembered that this was all going to end--and that the end was coming soon.
"Evan," I'd say, and he would know, just from the tone of my voice. He'd pull me into his arms and kiss me and tell me that the only thing that mattered was the moment. And as he made love to me, slowly and sweetly, I tried hard--so hard--to believe him.
Sometimes, I even came close.
Not that we were complete shut-ins. I joined him one night at a reception for all the students in the art class that Cole taught at a community center right on the edge of Wrigleyville. The center's walls were now studded with everything from still lifes to graffiti-like murals to delicate pencil sketches. And Cole was making the rounds like a proud parent, with Evan looking almost as proud as his friend.
"So what do you think, baby girl?" Cole asked pulling me into a hug.
"I'm impressed," I said. "And your students look like they're having a great time." It was true. The students, who ranged in age from twelve to eighty, were making the rounds like celebrities. As far as I could tell, Cole's reception was the highlight of their year. "Where's Tyler?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't seen his face among the crowd.
"California," Evan said.
I remembered the phone call I'd overheard on the boat. "Trouble?"
"Nothing he can't handle." He took my arm. "We're going to go find a drink," he said to Cole. "Good job, man."
"Thanks, buddy."
I glanced around the cavernous room as he led me to the bar. "Maybe I should do something like this for the foundation's fund-raiser," I said. "Instead of picking a host, I could just have it on neutral territory."
"Who's vying for the honor?" Evan asked, as we waited for the bartender to make our drinks.
"Who isn't? And the moment I pick someone, I've basically said fuck you to all the others. I'm not sure I want to piss off the Who's Who of Chicago. There's Thomas Claymore. Reginald Berry. I mean the list just goes on and on. Even Victor Neely is on it, and you know how much I love him." I made a sour face.
"Sweetheart, I feel just the same."
"I have to admit he's not high on my list of potentials. Not only could Jahn not stand him, but the prick isn't even offering to donate any of his collection to the foundation. Apparently he's already finalized arrangements to donate his manuscript collection to a museum in Belgium. And I think he's negotiating with the British Museum about some of his paintings." I peered at Evan's face. "What's wrong?"
"I'd heard rumors; I didn't realize the Belgium deal was in the can."
"You're thinking of the Creature Notebook, aren't you?"
His mouth curved up in a humorless smile as he took his Scotch from the bartender and handed me my wine. "How well you know me."
"Yeah, well, I was thinking of it, too. I'd love to get the original notebook for the foundation. I even asked Esther to approach him about it."
"You did? What did he say?"
"No go. I wasn't terribly surprised. He paid a shitload to keep that notebook out of Jahn's private collection, and I don't see him willingly donating it now."
"I don't, either," Evan said. His brow was furrowed, as if he was considering a thorny business problem.
&n
bsp; "What is it?"
"I just don't like the guy." He glanced around the room, and I saw him lock onto Cole. "I need to run something by Cole. Will you be okay by yourself for a moment?"
I laughed. "I'm the daughter of the man who's going to be the next vice presidential candidate," I said. "Trust me when I say that I can fake my way through any party on the planet."
He kissed my cheek. "In that case, I'll be back in a minute."
As I watched him walk away, I couldn't help but wonder what was so urgent that he needed to discuss it with Cole right then--and why the Creature Notebook had reminded him.
Not that I had long to think about it. Cole had done the reception up right for his students, and had invited more than a few of Chicago's elite, and I soon found myself chatting with Thomas Claymore, who--under the guise of polite chitchat--made his bid to host the foundation's gala.
I listened politely, then managed to extricate myself, talking first with a young woman who was one of Cole's students and then with a short man in a perfectly tailored suit who held out his hand in greeting.
"Ms. Raine," he said, his face bland face. "So glad to see you here."
"Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"Larry," he said, still holding my hand.
I started to gently tug my hand free, but Larry tightened his grip. I frowned, assuming he was one of those men who just never quite managed the art of the handshake. But then his fingers tightened even more, and even before he spoke, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle in warning.
"Tell your boyfriend and his buddies to back off," he said, without any particular menace in his voice. And it was his pleasant tone that made the conversation that much creepier. "Tell them that if they don't there's going to be trouble. More trouble. Tell them that's a promise. You understand?"
"I--" I wanted to play it cool. To toss some brilliant comeback at him. To show that I wasn't scared at all. But it wasn't true, and I wasn't that much of an actress. So all I did was gape at him, my mouth open like some frantic, hooked fish.
He stared at my face, his previously bland features now turning menacing. "Yeah, I think you do."
Then he yanked his hand free, tipped his head, and disappeared into the crowd. I stood there, my blood so chilled I felt frozen to the spot. Evan. I willed myself to move. I needed to find Evan. I needed to warn him. To point this guy Larry out to him. To ask him what the hell was going on. Move, dammit, move.
I did. One step, then another.
And then one more until motion felt normal again.
But it wasn't Evan I found when I finally made it across the room. It was Kevin.
I forced a smile. "Hello. I didn't realize you were here."
"Angie," he said. "I've missed you."
I smiled again, feeling awkward, because I didn't say the expected reply--that I missed him, too.
But I didn't. I didn't miss him at all. And the truth was, I wished he'd just move on.
Unfortunately, Kevin was not in tune with what I wanted. That, of course, had been one of our problems all along.
"So who was that you were just talking to?" he asked.
That prickly, fearful feeling returned. "I--I'm not sure. Just some guy."
"I thought perhaps you knew him," Kevin said, in the kind of voice that suggested he knew exactly who Larry was--and why Larry'd come here. "He seemed very intense." He took a step closer to me. "I almost came over to ask if I could help you. Should I have? Did you need help, Angie?"
I forced myself to meet his eyes. Forced myself to mask the fear.
I could only hope that I succeeded. "No, it was fine. Just some guy." I lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "I think you're reading too much into things, Kevin."
"Am I?" His mouth curved down in a frown. "I don't know." He paused long enough that I actually thought he was going to say goodbye. But it wasn't my day for good luck.
"Looks like things have gotten serious between you and Black."
I said nothing, but inside I was terrified. Because I could read between the lines easily enough. Larry was bad news. Someone from the life that Evan kept hidden. And Kevin worked for the FBI.
"I thought you were moving to Washington," he pressed.
"I am," I said warily--was he really letting me off the hook that easily? "My mom is planning a wardrobe shopping spree as soon as I get to town. And my dad emailed listings for about a billion possible condos."
I was smiling like an idiot, and I was damn sure that I was trying too hard.
"So what's this with Black?" he asked, destroying my fantasy that he'd dropped the subject. "Just one of those good girl/bad boy flings?"
"What the hell, Kevin?" I'd intended my tone to sound sharp--the perfect fuck off exit point for this conversation. But instead, it came out tired and a little wary.
"I still care about you. More, I worry about you."
I held up a hand. "This isn't a conversation we're having." I had to move. Had to get out of there. But when I started to walk away, he grabbed my arm. I shook it free. "Jesus, Kev--"
"If you don't get out, I don't know that I'll be able to pull you out."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I snapped. Not exactly a lie, but not the truth, either.
"You know," he said. "Because I already told you, and I told you more than I should. He's bad news, Angie. And so are Cole August and Tyler Sharp. Stay away from them."
My heart was pounding so hard that I could barely hear my own words through the thrumming in my ears. "You know what, Kevin? I'd like to say it was a pleasure running into you, but that would be a huge lie. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find my date."
Except I didn't go find Evan. I moved out of the main room into one of the smaller adjoining rooms, then leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and concentrated on breathing as I tried to get my shit together.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I'd known almost from the beginning that the stuff Kevin said about Evan was probably true. That there was illegal shit going on in the background. And, hell, hadn't Evan almost--almost--even confessed as much to me? And, damn me, hadn't the possibility made me hot? The possibility that Evan was pulling one over on the FBI made him larger than life. Exciting. Sensual. Thrilling.
But now--
Now with worms like Larry approaching me and Kevin hounding me--
Oh, god, now it all felt too real. Too scary.
I remembered the twisting, nausea-inducing fear when I'd been arrested. No, not fear. Terror. The knowledge that everything I'd worked for and loved could be ripped away from me in an instant, pulled out from under me and replaced with bars and a cold floor and the eyes of the world looking hard at me and knowing that I screwed up.
I didn't want that for Evan--not for any of the knights.
Even more, I didn't want it for me. Didn't want the risk of being forced to testify. To sit in a small room with questions tossed at me. And didn't want the risk that someone I loved would be yanked away from me.
Loved.
I squeezed my eyes tight, pushing the thought away. Breathing deep. Trying desperately to keep myself from coming completely undone.
A soft tap on the door frame had me almost jumping out of my skin. I opened my eyes and whipped my head around to face Evan.
"What's wrong?"
I managed a watery smile. "That obvious?"
He moved to my side. "I know you."
"So does some guy named Larry." I watched him as I spoke, saw the tension run through him. "He gave me a message. I'm supposed to tell you to back off." I sucked in a breath. "Will you tell me who he is?"
He said nothing for a minute, then he lifted his hand, displaying his knuckles. "I mentioned him before," he said. "He's one of the assholes who was messing with the girls."
"Oh." I thought about that, then decided not to press for more. Whatever was going on under the surface, Evan already knew about it. And I didn't see even a hint of fear in
his eyes. I did, however, see a spark of anger as he reached out and gently stroked my cheek.
"He scared you."
"He was creepy," I admitted. "But I'm okay now." I looked in his eyes and realized it was true. As corny as it sounded, I was okay now because Evan was beside me.
"I saw you talking to Kevin."
"Lucky me."
"Everything okay there, too?"
I nodded. What was I going to say? That I'd realized I was terrified for him and, oh, by the way, I might be falling in love with him, too? I settled for, "Yeah. Everything's fine. He saw me talking to Larry, too."
I met his eyes, and though he only nodded, I knew he understood my unspoken message: Be careful. Please, please be careful.
"What else did he say?"
"He said that he missed me."
"I see." I saw the vulnerability in his eyes, and I had to bite back a gasp as a sudden realization shook me. Evan might be everything that Kevin accused him of. He might be dangerous as hell. But right then, I had the power to hurt him.
I reached out and brushed my thumb over his lip. "I told him that I didn't miss him at all," I said.
He held my eyes for what felt like eternity. I saw relief there. And I saw what I wanted to believe was love.
After a moment, he blinked. "I need to take care of something," he said gently, and though I didn't ask, I had a feeling that Larry was the reason for this change in plans. "It shouldn't take long. Wait for me at the boat?"
My smile felt watery. "I think I'll go home instead," I said. I wanted to be on familiar ground with my thoughts.
Evan eyed me cautiously. "You're sure everything is okay?"
I leaned close and kissed him hard and slow and deep. "Everything's fine. My dad emailed over a bunch of pictures of condos. I should look at them, you know."
His expression hardened. "Sure. He's probably expecting your reply."
"Come over later?"
"As soon as I can."
"Good," I said.
"I'll have Red take you home. I'll ride with Cole."
The drive only took a few minutes, and I was up the elevator, in the condo, and pouring a glass of wine in less than an hour. There was a message from Evan on my phone, and I realized he must have called in the short span of time when I had no service in the elevator.
"Change of plans. I have to fly to Indiana to take care of a few things, but I'll be back tomorrow. Have a good day at work. I'll be thinking of you."
