by A M Heath
Needing my own escape, I turned toward the sound of the dribbling ball. I jogged up to Jasyn and knocked the ball out of his hand, dribbling away from him.
“Hey!” The boy’s laughter followed me.
“Gotta steal it back.”
Jasyn swiped at the ball but only caught air.
I turned my back to him, and he reached around, slapping for the ball. “Careful. Don’t foul.” He failed to steal the ball, and, after a minute, I passed it to him.
He whooped and charged for the net.
Only then did I look to see if Kelly had gone. She had. Finally.
Distance. I needed a great deal more distance from her too.
Once everyone left, I turned out the lights and locked up.
Pulling into my driveway must have signaled Granny to leave her house. Before I could unlock my back door, the four of them were already walking out of her kitchen door.
I sucked in a breath. Distance. Distance. Distance.
But I wouldn’t have distance that night. Instead, I held the door open as Granny led her line of ducklings into my house, with Natalie in the rear. I exhaled a groan.
Natalie jerked her head to me.
I lifted a brow as if to question what she had heard.
She sent me a sheepish smile, one that told me she likely felt bad for intruding when I clearly didn’t want it.
But knowing what her silent looks meant only made my chest tighten and the urge to groan all the more necessary. But I held that one back.
I surveyed my domain. A box of homemade ornaments sat on the floor near the table. Three bags of lights laid on the table beside two homemade wreaths. I set my fists on my hips and exhaled. This was really happening.
I cleared my throat. “Granny, this may be my house, but it’s your party.”
She grinned like a fox, and I certainly felt like a fat hen. “Natalie, pull out the sub sandwiches.”
I jerked my head to the fridge where Natalie didn’t flinch before opening the door and pulling out a tray I didn’t even know was in there. I eyed my grandmother, who only shrugged.
“I used my key.”
I chuckled. Grandmothers. Were they all as meddlesome as my own? “You can do the laundry the next time you come over.”
“Sure, next time,” she said with a wink.
I laughed more freely and wagged my head.
Hunter’s face brightened. “Granny, you’re getting a key to my house when I move out!”
I slapped Hunter on the back while everyone laughed.
“What, no cocoa?”
She angled her head with a frown, then pointed to a crockpot I didn’t notice.
Ahh. There it was. And there was Natalie, making herself at home in my kitchen. Something gripped in my chest as she tore off five paper towels from my roll and placed them on a stack of plates.
Other than Granny’s visits, I hadn’t seen, much less envisioned, a woman in my kitchen in years. Not since Kelly left, and not since I cut the idea of her returning from my mind. She had wanted to paint the walls green. I was glad I hadn’t gone through with it now. It would have been just one more thing to erase.
Natalie opened one cabinet, then closed it and edged down the counter, stopping before the crock-pot. She lifted the lid and gave a whiff. “Smells wonderful.” Flipping her gaze over her shoulder, she asked, “Pumpkin Spice?”
Granny gave the affirmative.
Natalie opened another wrong cabinet before turning to me. “Sanford, where are your cups?”
I pointed to the door and waited.
She opened it and frowned at me from over her shoulder. “Where are your mugs?”
I shrugged. “I don’t have any.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You knew what I was looking for.”
I let the smile pull one side of my lips. “Maybe.”
Natalie giggled. “I have a patient like you.”
“No, you don’t.” I folded my arms over my chest. But that need to just pal around won out, and I cocked my head to one side and watched her.
She kept her gaze steady. “No, I really do. He enjoys giving me a hard time just to watch me squirm, I think.”
“And how do you handle him?”
Her smile beamed, brightening her whole face. “With lots and lots of patience. So much patience that I have a feeling I drive him batty.”
I lifted half of my smile. Challenge accepted. Little did Natalie know, winning this challenge had nothing to do with victory and everything to do with survival. Being around her made me too quick to slip into old habits. But old habits would lead to old heartaches. I didn’t want the one, and so had better stay clear of the other.
Natalie:
Ms. Carol had a tree delivered to Sanford’s house earlier that day. After a bit of struggle, we had it upright and the lights on. Mia wanted bright colored lights for the tree, and Sanford refused to choose. I finally swayed Ms. Carol to pick up white lights for him. He wasn’t a fussy man, and loads of color meant fussy. I liked to think the soft lights would help bring him some peace at the end of his day. That is, assuming he would turn them on each night.
“Sanford, I need your basketball schedule.”
He hung an ornament on the tree and peeked around the edge to look at his grandmother.
“Oh, do we get to go to his games?” Hunter asked.
“That won’t be necessary,” he said.
Heads swiveled to him, but he only shrugged. “The gym isn’t Christmassy.”
“Okay,” his grandmother stretched out. “I only wanted to know so we can plan around your games.”
Mia whipped her phone out of her back pocket. After checking the screen, she threw up a finger. “I’ll be right back.” Without another word, she scurried from the room and slid out the back door.
I turned from the tree in time to see Hunter rolling his eyes. Not the playful roll but the one edged in frustration.
I shot a look at Sanford, who met my gaze.
“Who is she talking to?” Ms. Carol asked.
Hunter flipped his hair out of his face. “Eli,” he said with a scowl.
I caught Sanford’s knowing glance in my direction.
The poor boy. I understood his plight more than I wanted to admit.
An hour or so later, the tree was finished and Sanford’s place was straightened up. I went to the sink to wash the few dishes we had used. I dried off the five mugs in time to send them with Ms. Carol as she said her goodbyes and disappeared out the back door.
Mia had already left a half an hour before.
Hunter flopped down on a kitchen chair.
I peeked a glance at him from over my shoulder just as Sanford walked in.
“You don’t have to wash dishes.”
“It’s fine. I’m almost done.”
He gave me a nod and turned to Hunter. “I know that look; what’s eating you?”
Hunter only glared at him.
I turned off the water and took up the drying towel. Swiping at a plate, I watched the two staring at one another. “Is it this Eli fellow?”
“Yeah,” came his low admission.
“Is he a no-account or something?” Sanford asked, pulling out a chair and turning it around before settling down, arms resting across the back.
Hunter shrugged. “He’s alright, I guess.”
Sanford’s jaw flexed. “You thinking of coming between them?”
“I don’t know,” the boy mumbled.
“Do you have feelings for Mia?” I asked, setting the plate down and striding forward, towel still in hand.
Hunter stared at the floor and shrugged.
“Well, do you?” Sanford snapped.
Hunter reared back, sending him a scowl. “I don’t know. She’s Mia. I don’t … want to talk about this.”
I pulled in a breath and stepped closer, laying a hand on the chair beside him. “Hunter.” I exhaled, set the towel on the table, and tried again. “You don’t have to talk about this. But ca
n I offer some advice? One friend to another?”
I felt Sanford’s steady gaze, but I didn’t turn to him. This wasn’t about him. Or me. It was about Hunter, and I had some experience on this end. When he didn’t answer, I said, “Be patient with her.”
Sanford snorted. “Speak up.”
We swiveled to Sanford. He pulled his pointed glare away from me and focused solely on Hunter. “Speak up, or let her go.”
Hunter jerked his head, flipping his bangs out of his eyes. “I don’t think so.”
Sanford shifted in his seat. “Look, it’s not fair to saddle her with your jealousy. She’s your friend, so be her friend.”
I nodded along. That was precisely what I was going to say. Sanford’s scowl swerved to me, piercing me where I stood.
Even when Sanford turned away, I felt the heat of his glare dead-center in my chest.
“Don’t wait around, expecting she’ll see you differently, because it’ll only make you desperate for her to notice you. And that’s not fair. You’ve known her for a long time. If you have feelings for her, man up and say something.” Sanford shot out of his seat and stormed out of the room.
Hunter met me with wide eyes.
I licked my lips, my veins washed cold, but there was an uncomfortable heat in my face. I swallowed. “I think ...” I said, still looking at the door Sanford had disappeared through.
“Yeah,” Hunter said with a sigh. “I’m out of here.”
I listened as the boy stood up and charged out the back door. On trembling legs, I walked into the living room. Finding Sanford wasn’t hard. He stood at the window, leaning against his extended arm, his palm against the wall. He stared into the night, but I doubted he was soaking in the view of his grandmother’s merry home.
“Not now, Natalie.”
I stopped in the middle of the room and studied his profile. Space. He wanted space. Normally, I would have given it to him, but he’d had enough of that over the last six years.
“Yes, now.”
He turned to me. His silent glare would’ve been intimidating if I weren’t accustomed to the man I knew was still inside somewhere. For him, I stepped forward.
Sanford leaned his backside against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Were you talking about me?” I whispered.
“Figured that out, did you?”
I charged forward, tilting my head to stare down my former best friend. “How can you say such a thing?”
He straightened away from the wall. “Did you forget that I was the other person in that relationship? I was there, Natalie.”
“But you’re wrong.”
With his hands, he waved me off, shaking his head as he did so.
“I didn’t–”
“I’m not in the mood to get into this.” He started to turn away, but I pulled on his arm.
“Stop turning away from me.”
Sanford lowered his eyes to my hand, then lifted them back to me. But he didn’t move away.
“It’s past time we dealt with this.” I dropped my hold. “Just what, exactly, do you think I did?”
His jaw flexed. “You couldn’t stand me being with Kelly, so you lied and manipulated the situation. Months before our wedding, you were trying to break us up.”
I blinked back tears. “That’s not true.”
He scoffed.
“I wasn’t trying to break you up, I was trying to–”
“Break us up.”
“No! It wasn’t like that. She was cheating on you, as you now know. I was trying to warn you.”
He sniffed and peered down at me. “It certainly didn’t feel that way after years of jealousy radiating off of you. You were waiting for your chance to pounce.” His voice dropped as if there was no emotion left in him. “Lucky for you, Kelly gave you one.”
I swiped at a tear and shook my head. “That’s not true.”
“So you’re saying you were never jealous of Kelly?”
The tickle in my nose became too much. I sniffled and pressed a hand against it for a fleeting moment. “You were my best friend. Of course, it was hard for me. But I never ...” Tears freely rolled down my face. “I never wanted her to treat you that way.”
He dropped back against the wall and crossed his arms. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Of course it does if it keeps us from becoming friends again.”
Sanford didn’t answer, only stood there staring at me. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hear his thoughts.
He made no move, and there was nothing more to say. After a tense unending minute, I whispered goodbye, then gathered my jacket and purse and walked out the front door, not even bothering to put the jacket on.
Tears burned as I slipped into my car, which was still parked at Ms. Carol’s, and tossed my things on the passenger seat. He thought I was happy to see his relationship with Kelly fall apart? How could he think something like that?
I pulled out of her driveway, but my heart and mind were still very much at Sanford’s house. I had been his best friend once. Did he really not know me at all?
My stomach sank. I was due to return tomorrow afternoon. I didn’t have to go. Sanford wouldn’t want me there, and Ms. Carol would understand. But I wanted to be there. It was like coaxing Mr. Larry onto the bike. Sometimes the most painful place to be is right where you need to be the most. Sanford needed to let go of the past and whatever it was he thought I had done to him. I knew I hadn’t gleefully pounced at the opportunity. I had taken no pleasure in ripping out my best friend’s heart that night six years ago.
He’s hardheaded and stubborn. When he thinks he’s right, he digs in all the harder, so my choices were simple: Allow him to entrench himself or go in after him and force him out.
I bit my lip, a prayer hovering in my heart. I wanted to do right, not just by me, but by Sanford. The anger in his eyes tonight still stunned me. If I walked away now, he’d continue to believe that he was right about me. I couldn’t let him go on this way, just like I couldn’t let Mr. Larry walk with a limp just because the bike wasn’t his favorite exercise.
Lord, soften his heart and help us to reach him.
Sanford:
Corine’s out of tune version of “Jingle Bell Rock” told me exactly where she was in the store.
I wagged my head as she and her song passed by the office door. Grasping my coat from the hook, I shrugged it on and walked out of the office.
R.J. did a double-take when I passed him in the kitchen. “You leaving already?”
“I’ve got plans.”
“A date?” he asked, a new cheer in his voice.
“Nope.” I ignored the way my gut pinched or how my mind instinctively pictured Natalie. She’d likely be there, but it wasn’t a date, and there was no reason for her image to be attached to the word date.
And then there was Viola’s knowing grin skirting around the corner.
I groaned.
“A Christmas thing?” she asked.
From the corner of my eye, I saw R.J. rear back. “You? A Christmas thing?”
“His grandmother has him doing all sorts of Christmas stuff this month.” She turned to me, wide grin in place. “Whatcha doing today?”
I met her gaze but not her smile. “Stuff.”
They both laughed, and I rolled my eyes and let them. December would be over soon, and all of this would be behind me. All except Kelly, since the basketball season didn’t end until February. But I’d be rid of her soon enough, and then everything could go back to normal.
“Oh, come on. What is it?” R.J. asked.
I shook my head and headed for the door.
“Christmas caroling?” Viola called after me.
I wagged my head.
“Are you playing Santa Claus?” R.J. asked, laughter rumbling between his words.
Again, I wagged my head and kept for the door.
“Practicing for a Christmas play?”
Instead of answering Viola, I waved
a hand in the air before walking through the door. Those two would never let me hear the end of it if they knew I was about to hang icicle lights around my house. I only prayed Granny didn’t intend to surprise me with a giant inflatable Rudolph.
Now I only had to face Natalie. She said she had patience, but I sincerely hoped she was almost out of patience, because I couldn’t afford to backtrack. It took a long time not to hurt every time I thought about calling her or when I considered something she’d say.
And now I only wanted my space back.
I flipped off the game and headed for the door. Even Sunday football would be on hold until Granny’s Christmas challenge was finished. And I dared not complain about it, or she’d think I was backing out already.
If I didn’t back out while spending hours hanging lights, while Natalie patiently smiled at me and handed me whatever I needed, I wouldn’t complain about glowing lights taking over my living room. If I could stay on a ladder, while the tension brewed between us and Natalie silently held my ladder steady, I wouldn’t gripe about missing the Titans game.
I took one last look at my living room and had to admit that the room did look rather nice. It was nothing like the silver and purple decorations Kelly had picked out for my place. The room was cozy and screamed old-fashioned Christmas. If I were honest, my favorite touch was the string of popcorn garland on the tree. I hadn’t strung popcorn since I was in elementary school. Back then, we ate as much as we strung … which we also did four nights ago. By now, my outdoor lights were hung and a wreath stared at me when I closed the door. Granny left nothing untouched and had a wreath made for the front and back doors so I wouldn’t miss even that ounce of Christmas decoration. I wagged my head and trotted across our yards to her house. I had no idea what she had in store for me this afternoon, but I knew another round of cocoa would be part of the deal.
I peeked into Granny’s kitchen. “Where’s everyone else?”
She turned, a smile on her face. “Hunter is in the other room. Mia isn’t coming today. And Natalie called and said she’ll be here soon.”
“About that, Granny, don’t you think Natalie can take a day off? Or several days off?”
Granny frowned. “What for?”
I heaved a sigh. “Because I don’t want her around all the time, that’s why.”
