Olivia sat there in a stunned silence. It had worked. I should have just told the truth from the very beginning.
Finally she spoke. “I expected better from you, Lottie. I might have been able to someday forgive Rachel for spilling my secrets. But for this ludicrous lie, trying to make me believe something so asinine just so you two don’t have to confess that you’re not trustworthy. That’s just absurd.”
Olivia walked to the door and pushed it open. “Please leave. And please, don’t try to talk to me ever again.”
The truth was supposed to have been the answer. But it didn’t work. At least I could do that scene over and know not to try telling Olivia the real story, but work on some better explanation. I looked at the eraser in my hand and went to wave it through the air.
“How dare you have the gall to keep playing this stupid game,” Olivia shouted and grabbed my hand as I started the do-over.
Something happened that had never happened before. It was as if my life was passing before my eyes. Except it wasn’t my whole life, just the parts that had been done over. There was me spilling my spaghetti, and changing seats in O.T. and oversleeping and on and on and on and there was Olivia telling me her horrible childhood and Al kissing me and me falling down seventeen times on the mountain. In an instant I had seen every single do-over I had done the past seven months.
Then I was back standing in Olivia’s room. Olivia was sitting on her bed. But that time change was different than all the others. Olivia was looking at me with pure terror on her face. “What—the hell—was that?” she finally said.
“Did you see it too?”
She only nodded.
“You see. I was telling the truth. I’ve been doing this all year. At first it seemed like an answered prayer. Any mistake I made I could just flip out my trusty eraser and do it again. But, sometimes it didn’t make things better. The hardest thing was that I still remembered the first reality. So I’d refer to things that others never thought had happened. I saw it in y’all’s eyes a lot, when I talked about things then realize I hadn’t kept my stories straight. No wonder it was so easy for you to think I was lying about Rachel. It seemed you had caught me in lies and half truths all year.”
Then we sat there. Time passed. Olivia kept looking at me, starting to say something, stopping, shaking her head and then looking at me again.
Finally she spoke. “Seventeen times. You fell down seventeen times on that stupid mountain, just to impress a guy.” Then she started to laugh. I though at first she was going to become hysterical, but no, it was just a belly busting laugh of pure relief. I joined in. Every time we would almost stop, Olivia would say, “Seventeen,” and we’d start again. It felt so good to laugh. It felt better to finally have someone to share my crazy secret with. By the time we were able to regain our composure we both had mascara smeared down our faces from the tears and our sides hurt from laughing.
Olivia got up, went to her closet and started pulling out clothes throwing them on her bed. I was afraid she was cracking up from my revelation after all. “Let’s get this place packed up. I’m ready to move back ‘home.’”
-57-
Mission Un-Possible
When Al told me he had to be out of town the next weekend on a recruiting trip with various campus bigwigs, I should have looked more distraught. But the truth be known, the ninja force was almost ready to put the plan into action—and the less he knew, the better. It wasn’t that I wanted a relationship filled with deception, it was simply that there will always be things that are only shared with the sisterhood.
Right after we moved Olivia back into Rachel’s room, we started to finalize the plan. Mr. Soccer Player or LSPS as he was affectionately known on our wing of the dorm, was going down. After sharing my secret about the eraser with Olivia, she had confessed that she had had a niggling sort of half dream thought of remembering our conversation about her stepdad. Not quite an all there memory, more like seeing something out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned to look it wasn’t there. Her revelation along with Al’s once mentioning a half dream of having spaghetti thrown on him had helped to solidify the plan. Once we had ascertained that subliminal thought residue remained after a do-over we decided to make that work to our advantage.
Our background checks and surveillance of LSPS had shown that his Achilles heel was his place on the soccer team and his soccer scholarship. Not only was it his biggest ego boost, but without it he wouldn’t be able to remain at OkMU. So ruining that for him, seemed the best retribution of all.
We had tried out many scenarios, but all either seemed too dangerous or illegal. No, it had to be something that with minor manipulations from us was truly his own fault.
“No, the Craigslist thing is too overdone,” said Olivia at our council of war meeting one evening. Our room was filled with the remaining three K’s, La—ah, Stina, Rachel, General Corazon, and me. The door was closed and the curtains drawn. This was to be a top-secret undertaking. In no way could the LSPS or anyone else know our plan.
“Olivia’s right. Half the listings nowadays are pranks being played on others,” Rachel agreed. “I thought a big scarlet A tattooed on his chest would be good. Kind of poetic justice.”
La—ah shook her head no. “He’d just think that was cool. We have to find something that will hurt him like he did Keesha.”
“But legal,” I reminded them.
“But legal,” they all repeated in a monotone. I guess I had stressed that a few too many times.
“So what is his major weakness?” Rachel asked for the hundredth time. “We know he thinks he’s God’s gift to women.”
“Right,” we chanted.
“But we can’t set him up with someone. That could be damaging to her. And he’d just be proud if there were compromising photos of him on the web,” Olivia said. We had been over and over this territory. How to do a sting operation that only hurt him and no one else?
“Maybe if we could convince him that there is someone after his body, when really she isn’t,” suggested Stina.
“But who? We already have enough people involved,” said Kasha.
“She doesn’t have to be involved. In fact the less the better. He only has to think she likes him.” I was seeing a devious side of our sweet, lovable Stina I had never seen before. “Who on campus would it be the absolute worst for him to be caught in bed with?”
“Me,” laughed La—ah. “Cause I’d kill him.”
“The president’s wife,” laughed Kyra.
“Almost,” said Stina like their answers had been at all credible. “Who is the one person who could make or break LSPS’s career?”
“Coach Biggs!” we said in unison.
“But he’s straight,” I blurted out.
“Not him, his wife,” Stina laughed.
“But he and his wife have a great marriage. She’s not gonna be sleeping with some stupid college boy,” argued Kasha.
“No, but LSPS has such a big head, we could easily convince him that she wants to. And admit it, of all the faculty wives around she is the hottest,” Stina countered.
I had to speak up on this one. This couldn’t happen. We couldn’t ruin someone’s marriage just to get revenge for Keesha. And I said as much.
“No, Lynette Biggs will have nothing to do with it. It will all be in LSPS’s mind,” Stina explained. “Here’s my plan.”
We spent the rest of the evening devising a plan of counter-espionage that would have made the CIA proud. Olivia and I gave each other some knowing looks. We could find a way to use the magic eraser for good.
-58-
Seed Sowing
“Doesn’t he play on the soccer team?” I asked as I sat down at the table right behind the LSPS the next day in the cafeteria. It was time to start planting in the seeds of illusion. Olivia sat next to me.
“Of course he does,” she answered according to our script. “I’ve seen him play.”
“Is he the one the coach’s wife
has the hots for?” I asked in my best stage whisper. I could see he was listening in on our ‘private’ conversation.
“That’s what I’ve heard,” Olivia agreed. “I’ve seen her at the games watching every move he makes. Old cougar.”
“She’s not that old. And she’s quite the hottie.”
“Do you think there’s really something going on?”
“If he’s smart there is,” I answered, trying not to gag. “Ready?” I asked and Olivia nodded. I waved the eraser.
“Now,” I said as we were back in the line, “Let’s sit as far away from him as possible.”
“But we have to execute our plan,” Olivia objected.
“We already did. You don’t remember?”
She shook her head no.
“Hm, strange. I guess we have to both be actually touching the eraser to both remember. Well, we did good. Maybe we should go on the stage with Al.” Since Olivia couldn’t remember, I didn’t have to tell her how stiff and rehearsed we had actually sounded.
Since we weren’t sure how many seeds we would have sow to guarantee a good harvest, we decided it would be better to plant too many than not enough.
Right before his soccer practice came the next seed. “You’re on the soccer team right?” I asked him as he was getting out of his big black truck with huge oversized tires. I always wondered what those ridiculously huge tires were compensating for.
“Yeah, why?”
“Uh, well, the coach’s wife asked me to give this to you. Said you’d be the player in the black truck.” With that I handed him a note.
I think you’re hot. And Coach Biggs is going to be out of town this weekend. Would you like to come over and see if you score off the field as well as you do on?
My lunch was about to make a reappearance as I watched him swagger away reading the note. I wondered how long I should leave it to sink in, and also how long it might take him to read all those words, but did a redo quickly as I was afraid of accidentally not getting the note back.
A flick of the eraser and I was holding the forged note in my hand and watching the world’s biggest jerk get out of the his overcompensating vehicle. I tore the evidence into little tiny pieces and threw it into the trash. Two seeds sown. More to go.
Olivia and I continued on this venue the rest of the week. The rest of the ninjas didn’t know exactly what we were doing, but just that we were getting him ripe for the harvest.
“I just got back from soccer practice,” Kaylee announced on Thursday. “It went smooth as butter. I sat by the coach’s wife. She is so nice. We absolutely have to make sure she isn’t hurt by this.” I nodded in agreement. “Anyway. While they were practicing, I asked her who the guy in the grey shorts was. She pointed at the LSPS to ask me if that was the one I meant. He looked up at her while she was pointing, so she kind of looked embarrassed and waved. He waved back and I’d swear he winked. Then she turned to me and said, ‘He must like you. I think he just winked at you.’”
La –ah had procured the garage door code to the coach’s house.
“It was like taking candy from a baby. A big, braggy, babbling baby,” she said. “That Kimberly is always a bragging how she is the Biggs’ babysitter, like working her butt off for five bucks an hour is an honor. So I was just telling her how the Smiths so trusted me with their little Johnny and she had to so one-up me. And so I just told her how they had even given me a key to their house and she said how she doesn’t need a key because she knows the garage door code at the Biggs’, the baby’s birth date. Did me a little research, found out little Biggs’ birthday and voila, I got us the code. 0412.”
Kasha’s job was to make sure that Mrs. Biggs was going to be gone that Saturday night. “Yep, just checked her Facebook. She’s off to a girls’ night out in Branson—guess that’s a girls’ weekend out.”
“And the coach has a meeting here on campus, right?” I reconfirmed.
“According to the campus faculty page, from seven ‘til eight-thirty,” Rachel agreed.
The plan was going into motion.
Our next visit with the LSPS confirmed that the subliminal thoughts were building up.
Olivia gave it her best shot as she hurried to walk next to him. “Hey, I haven’t seen you around much. What you been up to?”
“Busy with soccer.”
“You still dating Taylor? Haven’t seen you together?”
“Nope, on to something better. Hm, strange. But, seems there’s someone better who’s warm for my form.” Gag, I thought as I was walking a step behind. Did anyone really say that?
“That’s what I thought,” Olivia lowered her voice. “I’ve heard you have something going with the coach’s wife. That can’t be true.”
“Stranger things have happened,” and he smiled. Maybe smile is too nice of a word. He leered.
I grabbed Olivia’s hand and let the eraser do its stuff.
We were back were we started. We saw him coming and turned the other way.
-59-
Reaping the Harvest
“Everybody ready?” the general asked. There we were, all eight of us in full ninja black wedged in the da godmother. Rachel made Stina and Kyra double buckle as no one was ever allowed to cruise in da godmother without a seatbelt. Rule of the land. Or the road actually. It was eight on Saturday night and hopefully our plan would work, but just in case, I had a death grip on my eraser.
Olivia and I had given him the note to meet the coach’s wife at eight thirty three different times and then undone it. We were unsure if it would work or not. La--ah had left the final note in his truck that afternoon during his soccer practice. It said,
If I were to find you in my bed at 8:30 tonight, I would be very happy. No worries, he’s gone tonight. The garage door code is 0412.
That note wasn’t going to be retrievable, but we’d tried to make it as vague as possible just in case someone else saw it.
At eight forty LSPS’s black truck pulled up. Late. And arrogant. He parked right on the street by the Biggs’ house. Guess he didn’t care who saw him there. Out he got and swaggered up to the garage door, looked at the paper, four numbers were too taxing for his small mind to remember, and typed in the code. Up went the door and the litterbug wadded up the note and threw it down. This was a piece of luck we hadn’t planned on, but it worked for our good.
“For the first time in my life, I’m glad someone’s a trash pig,” I said.
“I’ll go get it and then he has no evidence at all as to why he’s here,” Stina said crawling out of da godmother’s one good backdoor.
Rachel turned the car on. “I’m moving down the block and then we can spread out and watch from the trees over there. Have to make sure we are not seen.”
“But we ain’t gonna miss this show,” La—ah laughed.
At nine Coach Bigg’s beat-up bug pulled in to the drive, hit the garage remote and went in. We waited. Lights went on in the house. First the lights by the garage, then the middle of the ranch style house and then end rooms. We waited. It was nine-O-five. Still nothing. Had the fool gone in the wrong bedroom? Nine-O-seven. The front door of the house came busting open. Out ran the LSPS in nothing but his boxers. His clothes came flying out the door behind him.
“And on top of everything else, you are off the team,” Coach Biggs was shouting. “I don’t ever want to see your stinking” (okay he used another word that has been edited out of my memory) “face” (actually a different body part) “again. And if I hear one word from anybody, anywhere about my wife, I’ll be bringing you up on charges for breaking and entering.” Then there were numerous other words that I thought an employee at a Christian university wouldn’t have known. But he did and pronounced all them correctly as they came streaming out of his mouth.
There was the LSPS running around the Biggs’ front yard in his pink (go figure) boxers, grabbing up his pants and shoes, forget the socks they were up in one of the trees, desperately trying to find his car keys so he could get ou
t of there.
One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life was to keep from laughing so loudly that Coach Biggs wouldn’t hear me. Then again he was shouting so loudly, he probably wouldn’t have anyway.
“Ladies, our work here is done,” said Rachel in a solemn whisper. “Back to da godmother.”
“For Keesha,” Kasha raised her hand in a fist bump.
We all bumped our knuckles together. “For Keesha,” we repeated.
-60-
To IT Or Not To IT?
“Missed you this weekend,” said the world’s sexiest voice nuzzling my ear. I had been showing Al Dansby my favorite books in the library up on the third floor, the very deserted third floor. “Hope you didn’t stay in your room and study the whole time.”
That made me giggle. Not just his lips nipping on my ear, but remembering our ninja adventure. Seeing the LSPS running half-naked across the Biggs’ yard had made me laugh all weekend. “We kept busy. All of us piled in da godmother for a fun evening out.”
“Someday I would love to stowaway in da godmother and find out what you wild women are always up to.”
“No, no you can’t,” I responded perhaps a little too forcefully. I had spent the weekend caught between the hilarity of our retribution and the fear that in some way we would be caught in our own sting operation. I also was terrified that Al might find out and in doing so I would have to take a step down off of my pedestal of perfection.
“Sorry,” Al backpedaled. “It seems I have trod on the sacred ground of the sisterhood. I’ll file that knowledge for further reference,” he added as if writing a memo in the air, “Never question the sanctity of the sisterhood of da godmother.”
“I feel awful. I didn’t mean to bite your head off,” I began apologizing. Where was my eraser? Oh yeah, it was back at the book table with my purse and laptop. I turned to walk back and get it, but was stopped as Al took my hand.
Do-Overs Page 20
