by Penny Jordan
Adara was already watching him and smoothly drew everyone’s attention to her end of the table. “We’re very excited about this pairing. Even if they weren’t married, I would have wanted Jaya to head this project, but having them so closely connected should help you all get the answers you need so you can keep moving forward.”
Gideon made some remark about the newlyweds curtailing their honeymooning to review software code, but Theo didn’t absorb it. The luminescent curtain that surrounded them in this private dining area was supposed to give a waterfall effect, but he was drowning under the rapids at the moment. The pressure in his chest suffocated him while he tried to discern which way was up. Pressure in his ears made the room’s music sound muted while the clink of crystal tableware was like shattering glass.
He was falling apart internally while he had to maintain an unaffected front, exactly as he always had.
Jaya was pretty sure she’d never be able to eat here again. She couldn’t eat now, when an amuse-bouche arrived in the form of a tiny fried noodle nest with a grape tomato egg and a herb leaf feather floating in a spoonful of consume. She wanted to run away and hide from the terrible lie that she was allowing to prevail.
Her husband didn’t love her. She wished he did. Every morning she woke next to him hoping today would be the day he’d find the words. In six weeks of marriage, no matter how happy they seemed on the surface, he had yet to speak of his feelings.
But she had to sit here and smile at a table of mostly strangers, reminding herself that her life was actually very fulfilling. Theo did care for her in his way. He had overturned his life for her and their child, provided for them in a way that was ridiculously extravagant and always made time for them.
Then there was the sex. As a couple, they might not be given to public displays of affection, but behind closed doors they were the clichéd newlyweds who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They started most of their days locked in orgasm and fell asleep sweaty and tangled together.
So what did it matter if people assumed they were in love and it was only true on one side? She was still happy, wasn’t she?
Don’t be impatient, Jaya. Don’t ruin it.
That was a bitter imperative to swallow when she’d spent the beginning of her life telling herself, Go after what you want. Don’t settle.
The evening turned into the longest of her life and only became more intolerable when they said good-night to their guests at the coat room. Theo held her wool wrap and asked near her ear, “You okay?”
This from the man who had become Robot Theo for the last two hours, tense and barely able to string two civil words together, leaving all the talking to her. If she’d found the love remark disconcerting, he’d found it insufferable.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled as she clutched the edges of the wrap across her aching breastbone.
Across the room, Gideon lifted Adara’s hair out from beneath the collar of her jacket. His gaze on her was tender as he cupped her face to give her a light kiss. Her smile when he drew back was radiant.
Jaya wanted to cry. She’d settled and could never back out now, even if she hadn’t loved her husband so much she thought she’d die of it.
“Don’t lie to me, Jaya,” he said beside her with quiet ferocity. “Even if you think it might be easier for both of us.”
She met his gaze, but it was painful to hold. He’d see how much regret filled her. Funny how she’d thought the worst thing in the world had been being a financial burden on her uncle. No, it was far worse to be an emotional burden. She didn’t want Theo to know she loved him when he couldn’t love her back. It would be more weight on his conscience than he deserved to carry. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t love.
“Adara,” he called, startling Jaya with his sharp tone.
His sister turned back from exiting with her husband.
“Is something wrong?” she asked as she approached, looking between the two of them. The weird thing was, it was like she already knew. Jaya had a feeling Adara was as aware of how tonight’s gaffe had affected Theo as Jaya was.
A gut-wrenching sense of rejection filled her as she saw Theo’s not loving her blink larger than the sign in Times Square. Everyone knew.
“Will you swing by our place on your way home and take Zephyr overnight? The sitter can’t stay,” Theo said. “I’ll text her to let her know.”
“What? No!” Jaya protested in shock. “Why—?”
“Of course,” Gideon cut in smoothly. “Our pleasure.”
“But we’re going straight home,” Jaya insisted. “Aren’t we?”
“We’ll use the family suite here tonight.”
“Theo—” Jaya began.
“Please let us do this.” Adara set a light touch on her arm. “Theo never asks me for anything.” Leaning in to buss Jaya’s cheek with her own, she whispered, “Please don’t give up on him.” With a tight smile of concern, she and Gideon hurried away.
Speechless, Jaya watched them depart. “This is crazy. Why did you do that?”
“Crazy? We both know we need to talk.”
She hugged herself into her wrap, cold despite their staying inside. As he nudged her toward the elevators, she stumbled.
“I don’t want to talk,” she mumbled. This was her problem, not theirs. She had known what she was marrying. Maybe he would come to love her eventually, but not if she forced it.
“There’s a switch.” He eyed her as he brought out his card and got them into the private elevator.
“What is?”
“You being the one who doesn’t want to talk. Especially after you taught me it’s the only way to fix things. Why are you trying to take that away from me now?”
“I’m not,” she protested as they entered the family suite. “I just don’t see any use this time.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to hear again that you don’t love me and never will!” The outburst surprised even her. She pulled her wrap tighter around her throat, turning away to hide her hurt.
He drew a long, harsh breath then heavy silence descended.
She waited.
Nothing.
A choking little cry of protest escaped her. “And there you go again, withdrawing—”
“It’s not easy for me, Jaya! I don’t even know how to love, not properly. I still feel awkward kissing my son, like the more I want and need him in my life, the more likely he’ll be snatched away.”
“Not by me! I’m not trying to take away your heart either. Love isn’t something to dread.”
“I know that,” he cut in. “But people knowing how I feel... When that woman said we were in love tonight, I lost a bit of sanity. I couldn’t bear for them to know how much you mean to me. It makes me too vulnerable.”
It wasn’t the statement she was looking for, but it was close enough to make her turn and look at him. “Do you mean that?”
“The last thing I feel toward you is dread, Jaya. When I walk through the door, I’m relieved, like some kind of unidentified pain has stopped. I’m so damned happy to see you, it’s embarrassing. Is that love? You tell me. I’ve never felt like this toward anyone. It sure as hell isn’t anything like what I feel toward my sister,” he growled.
She pressed a hand to her diaphragm, reminding herself to keep breathing because she felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. Somehow she found her voice. “Each time I see you, I’m filled with intense joy, like I’m finally home and safe again, no matter where we are.”
Reaction seemed to spasm across his features. “When you say things like that, I almost don’t want to believe it. It means too much and I trained myself not to care, not to want, but I crave those things you say, Jaya. They make me start to hope.”
“For what?” A fragile bubble of optimi
sm was building in her, but she was afraid to grasp it in case it burst.
He visibly struggled, feet shifting, glance cutting to the door before he hardened his stance and lifted his chin, no defenses anywhere on him as he revealed both somber vulnerability and an achingly tender warmth toward her.
“That you might come to love me one day.”
Her own controls fell away, leaving her floating in a void, jaw slack, mind wiped clean by shock. A hot pressure flared in the back of her throat, urging her to speak, but all she could say was, “I’m such an idiot.”
Before she could cover her face and absorb how appallingly stupid she’d been, she glimpsed how her words affected him. The tightening and closing, the dimming of his eyes.
“I thought if I told you how much I love you, it would scare you,” she blurted, lurching forward a step. “I’d make you feel too much pressure. Like you were failing me because we’re not equal, but I shouldn’t have held back. I should have told you.”
“That you love me,” he clarified in a voice that rocked between disbelief and shaken anticipation. He came forward to grasp her arms. “That’s what this is? This feeling like if we have a disagreement, I’ll die of loneliness? That if I’m hurting I don’t want anyone around except you, and if you’re there I can bear anything, that’s it? That’s love?”
She nodded, blinking matted lashes. A tickle of wetness ran onto her cheek. “That’s how it is for me. I want to tell you things I’d never admit to another soul.”
He cupped her face in gentle fingers, his eyes blazing with heat and admiration and adoration. “Then Jaya, I have loved you for a very long time.”
She couldn’t breathe. Her heart had grown too big for her chest. Her mouth wouldn’t form words because her lips were quivering.
He soothed them with the pressure of his own. The tender kiss deepened by degrees past sweet wonder into heat and passion and a deep need to express their love completely. They knew each other’s signals and they were even more evocative now. He cupped her breast and held her heart. She pressed her lips to the pulse in his throat and only a very fine, translucent wall separated her from his lifeblood.
“Oh, Theo, I’m sorry—”
“Shh, I shouldn’t have made you wait, either. I just didn’t know...”
“I know. I love you.” She kissed him again, unable to control the outpouring of emotion, passion, her need to connect.
He slowly drew back, but only to offer a smug smile. “I scored us a free night of babysitting.”
“How could I not love you for that?” She was bursting with joy at how carefree he looked. Like he’d fully broken free of his shell and all of him was available to her.
He swooped to whisk her off her feet and into the cradle of his arms, making her gasp in surprise. As he started for the bedroom, she toed off her shoes so they clunked to the floor.
“Are we going to sleep at all tonight?” she teased.
“You say when, you know that.” He set her onto the bed and followed her in one motion, his strength and power entwining with hers in the familiar way she’d come to love. “But I’ll make it worth staying up if you do,” he cajoled.
He did, fulfilling her completely when, hours later, they were trembling with sexual exhaustion. Still panting, damp skin adhered and bodies locked in ecstasy, he smoothed her hair from her cheek with a shaking hand and looked into her eyes. “I love you. I will love you forever. Thank you for being my wife.”
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from PLAYBOY’S LESSON by Melanie Milburne.
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Ten years ago one devastating night changed everything for Austin, Hunter and Alex. Now they must each play their part in the revenge against the one man who ruined it all.
Austin Treffen has the plan… Hunter has the money… Alex has the power!
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Avenge Me by Maisey Yates (June 2014)
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CHAPTER ONE
EVEN BY CHATSFIELD standards Lucca had to admit this latest one of his to hit the London tabloids was a doozy. He lounged in the chair opposite his father’s new broom, Christos Giatrakos, and gave one his trademark lazy smiles. ‘What was it that got up your nose? The handcuffs or the studded leather codpiece?’
What the newly appointed CEO of the Chatsfield Hotel chain lacked in terms of a sense of humour was more than made up for in ice-cold ruthlessness. The Greek’s face was set like marble, his blue eyes glacial and his mouth set in a line so thin it hinted at a streak of cruelty underpinning his intractable personality. ‘We’re used to reading your sordid exploits in the tabloids, but this news is all over the internet. You’ve brought nothing but shame to the brand of this hotel with the way you carry on your affairs.’
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lucca didn’t bother disguising a yawn. Bor-ing. Heard it all before. A hundred...probably trillions of times. He rocked back on the legs of the chair, expertly balancing his weight as he kept his gaze trained on the hardened CEO. He was used to showdown meetings like this. He enjoyed them. It was his way of making up for the way he had disgraced himself by wetting his pants when he was called into the headmaster’s office at boarding school when he was seven. He never allowed himself to be intimidated.
Never.
‘The only thing that’s predictable about you is your unpredictability,’ the CEO continued. ‘Since you’ve consistently refused to clean up your act, it will now be cleaned up for you.’
‘It was just a party that got a little out of hand,’ Lucca said. ‘The press made it out to be an orgy. I didn’t even sleep with any of those girls. Well, maybe just the one, but that was because I was handcuffed to the bed at the time, so what else was I supposed to do?’
A muscle in the CEO’s jaw pulsed. On. Off. ‘Your father is refusing to give you a single penny of your allowance from the Chatsfield Family Trust unless you agree to fulfil the assignment I have appointed you. It will make quite a change for you working for a living instead of being a professional party boy with nothing better to do than get laid by a host of wannabe starlets and trashy gold-diggers.’
Lucca set his chair legs back down on the carpeted floor with a little thump. He had an exclusive art auction he wanted to attend in Monte Carlo next week. He was building a private collection of miniature paintings and there was one in particular he wanted to get his hands on. His gut instinct told him it would be worth millions in a few years. He didn’t want to be exiled to some godforsaken place and miss out on the deal of a lifetime, but neither did he want
to forfeit his allowance.
The way he saw it, his family—his train wreck of a family—owed it to him.
‘What sort of mission?’
‘A month working at the Chatsfield Hotel on the island of Preitalle in the Mediterranean.’
Lucca mentally breathed out a sigh of relief. The royal principality of Preitalle was a short ferry trip or helicopter ride to Monte Carlo. But he figured it might be in his interests to appear unhappy about being exiled. His father’s CEO wanted to dish out punishment and he clearly was enjoying doing it. Just like that headmaster.
Bastard.
‘Doing what?’ He feigned a suitable amount of apprehension. That was all part of his game. Give the opponent what they want but only on the outside. Inside he was totally in control. Totally.
The CEO’s cold eyes gleamed with malice. ‘Working alongside Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte as she plans her sister Madeleine’s wedding at the end of the month.’
Lucca threw his head back and laughed so loudly the sound bounced off the walls and came back at him like an echo in a canyon. ‘You’re joking, right? Me? Plan a wedding? I know nothing about wedding planning. Parties? Yes. Weddings? Zilch. Can’t even remember the last time I went to one.’
‘Then this will be a perfect opportunity to learn.’ Christos clicked his pen on and off again as he eyeballed him. On. Off. The annoying sound was in perfect time with that muscle in his jaw. On. Off. ‘You’re reputedly an expert at knowing what women want. Here’s your chance to finally put that expertise to good use.’
Lucca decided to play along. How hard could it be? With the wedding this close, the bulk of the planning would have already been done. He would leave the last-minute work to the people who knew how to do this sort of stuff while he had a bit of time out on one of the beaches on Preitalle.
