by Steph Matuku
‘You’re nervous about what we’ll find?’
‘Maybe.’ She felt her eyes prickle and closed them, not wanting to cry. ‘Or who we’ll find.’ She sank to the ground, wrapped her arms around her knees.
Jahmin hunkered down beside her.
‘I can deal with her being gone in here,’ Eva said, pressing a finger to her heart, ‘if I don’t think about it. But if I see her and she’s all … smashed up and broken … I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with it. I just don’t. It’s easier to imagine she got out alive, like us.’
‘She might have.’
Eva’s lips twisted, remembering Mandy hurtling sideways through glass. She closed her eyes. ‘She didn’t. But it doesn’t stop me hoping, you know?’
The image of Mandy was so real, she could hear Mandy’s voice, whispering into her ear. Her head throbbed, and she pressed a hand to her temple. The pressure eased and the voice faded. She opened her eyes, bewildered.
Jahmin was oblivious. ‘All I’m thinking about is Mum and Dad. They’ll be going batshit.’
‘They might have even taken a break from work – imagine that,’ Eva said.
Jahmin grinned. ‘Yeah. Mum never stops, and Dad’s work is on the verge of this huge scientific breakthrough. He’s been working hard out.’
‘What kind of breakthrough?’
Jahmin looked mysterious and tapped his nose.
Eva laughed. ‘No clue, huh?’
Jahmin grinned. ‘Nah. It’s pretty hush hush. Dad had to sign all these waivers. If he talks, they’ll probably have to kill him. It’s gonna make a gazillion dollars, though.’
‘Cos you guys really need the money, right?’
‘Everyone needs more money.’
Eva shook her head. ‘You really have no idea, do you?’
Her family wasn’t exactly poor, but there had been times when they’d been stuck eating baked beans for a week because of an unexpected bill. Most of her friends were in the same situation, except for Jahmin.
‘Anyway,’ Jahmin said, getting up so abruptly that Eva was reminded again how Jahmin never usually talked about money, although he sure as hell didn’t mind spending it. ‘Let’s get this over with, huh?’ He held out a hand and hauled Eva to her feet. ‘Okay?’
‘I’m okay.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But you go first.’
Jahmin pushed through the trees at a right angle, Eva following. A cliff face appeared in the distance, glistening in the sunshine. The noise of the river grew louder.
‘I’ll race you.’ Jahmin darted off, his ginger frizz bouncing wildly.
‘That’s not fair! Cheat!’
She took off after him, Mandy’s backpack banging between her shoulder blades, leaping over exposed tree roots and dodging around ferns. Jahmin stood, transfixed, at the line of trees separating the bush from the water. His appearance was so unexpected she slammed straight into him.
He grabbed her and dragged her down into the ferns.
‘What are you–’ Eva began indignantly. He clamped a hand over her mouth and pressed cold lips to her ear.
‘Shut up. Just shut up.’
Eva tried to push him off, but his grip didn’t slacken, and she eventually became still. And when he finally lifted his hand away, leaving a red imprint across her mouth, she found she had no words, anyway.
Across the river, on the loose scree slope, she saw twisted bits of metal and scattered luggage. She saw a landslip and a pool of water below, as though a giant finger had gouged out a dollop of earth and flicked it into the river. She saw a naked girl with long hair, on her knees, arms in the air, swaying back and forth. And above the girl she saw, sticking out of the raw gash in the hillside, part of a huge saucepan lid, a circular metal shell that looked remarkably like …
But it couldn’t be.
A goddamn spaceship?!
36
The afternoon sunlight was like liquid on her skin. The warmth made her want to stretch and purr like a cat. She walked towards Rocky, conscious of the movement of her hips and the brush of her hair against her shoulders. He didn’t take his eyes off her as she moved to his side. Devin smiled slowly at him. She was feeling woozy, and her pulse was dancing beneath the thin skin of her wrist. Her mind was full of strange, fevered thoughts, and a slight sheen of perspiration made her skin glow.
‘Are you okay?’ Rocky asked, his voice full of concern. He sounded better. He sounded stronger. He reached up and firmly grasped her hand.
She almost gasped aloud at the surge of hot fire that erupted at his touch.
‘You don’t look so good.’
‘I’m … fine,’ she said faintly, her words almost slurred. ‘I just …’
‘Maybe you need to lie down?’ Rocky suggested with a catch in his breath, his eyes flitting from her eyes to her lips to her breasts and back again.
He stood up easily, still holding her hand, and pulled her after him into the shelter.
For once Devin didn’t fall, or trip, or stumble. She sank gracefully down to the ground and leaned into the heat of his body.
She lowered her gaze to his lips. They were full and tender. Involuntarily the tip of her tongue darted out to lick her own. Without thinking, she reached out and stroked his face. Her fingers traced down to his mouth, and she gently touched his lips to see if they were as soft as they looked.
Slowly, as if he didn’t want to frighten her, he took her hand and breathed on her fingers. Devin closed her eyes. He put her fingers into his mouth, one by one, gently sucking them. She let out a soft cry, and he immediately slid a hand behind her head and pulled her down to a hard kiss. His tongue was inside her mouth, and his hands were all over her body. She clung to him, wanting to feel every inch of him against her. He tugged at her clothes, and she struggled out of them while also trying to tear off his. And then he was on top of her, and the little pulse in her wrist was hammering harder and harder. Devin cried out with pleasure and pain and everything went black.
37
First Jahmin, then Eva, crashed out of the bush into their sunny little clearing. Rocky was sitting outside the lopsided shelter. Devin was nowhere to be seen.
‘Rocky, Rocky …’ Eva was so winded she couldn’t manage anything further. She bent over, hands on hips, and spat on the ground, sure she was about to vomit.
Jahmin wasn’t even panting, which was surprising. Jahmin wasn’t exactly the Iron Man type. It was Eva who was the gym junkie, a habit she’d picked up to escape being at home, rather than out of a desire to live a healthier lifestyle. But even though he hadn’t even broken a sweat, like Eva, he still wasn’t saying anything coherent.
‘Rocky, bro. Oh, man …’
Rocky wasn’t listening. ‘There’s something wrong with Devin.’
He cranked an urgent arm at the shelter, and Eva tottered over and peeked inside, almost relieved to hear there was a problem that would take her mind off what she’d just seen.
Devin was on her back, sweating and flinching. Her eyes were wide and staring, and her hands were fluttering in the air. She didn’t acknowledge Eva, but when Eva leaned in and touched her, she let out a breathy moan and closed her eyes, her head thrashing back and forth.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Eva said, backing out of the shelter. ‘She was fine when we left!’
‘I don’t know!’ Rocky said, on the verge of panic. ‘She came over looking weirded out, and I asked her if she was okay, and she just crawled into the hut and started twitching, like she was having a seizure or something. She’s been like that for ages.’
‘Is she epileptic?’ asked Eva, vaguely recalling a distant cousin who had the same condition.
‘I dunno. Maybe.’
‘Oh, God.’ Eva paced back and forth, convulsively dragging her fingers through her hair. ‘This is bad. This is … to be honest, I don’t know what this is. It’s something, but I don’t know what.’
‘Eva,’ Jahmin interrupted. ‘Get a thing, a wet thing, for her head. A cloth. I’ll t
ell him. Go on.’
Eva shot Jahmin a withering glance that said she was doing it because she wanted to, not because he’d told her to do it – a glance that Jahmin completely ignored – and hurried off.
Jahmin thumped down next to Rocky, and instinctively, Rocky drew back. There was something weird about Jahmin. It wasn’t just the restless knee joggling or the way he couldn’t keep his eyes focused on any one thing, instead edgily scanning the ground, the sky, the trees, as though everything was about to burst into flames. It was something Rocky couldn’t quite work out. Even Jahmin’s speech was disjointed, as if he’d forgotten how to put words together properly.
‘We found the place. It’s not far, actually. Well, probably faster if you go by the river. Never mind. There’s crap spilled everywhere. A tent. Someone’s put up a … No rescuers though, but …’
He paused.
Rocky waited impatiently.
‘We saw something else. You’ll never guess, so I’ll just say it.’
‘Well, spit it out, then!’
‘There’s a … a UFO. Up there. At the crash site. Sticking out of the hill. Honest to God.’
Rocky was unimpressed. ‘This isn’t time for pissing about. What about Devin? She’s the only one who knows what to do!’
‘Never mind Devin! Listen, this is no lies, I’m being as straight up as … as …’ He looked around wildly, ‘… as a tree. There’s a UFO, alien spaceship, Starship Enterprise, whatever, up there. And Idelle Watkinson is there too. Praying to it.’
Rocky shook his head, exasperated.
Eva came hurrying back from the river, squeezing out a ragged piece of fabric. She caught the tail end of Jahmin’s impassioned speech and frowned. ‘Well, yeah, there’s a spaceship. But it’s not Idelle. It’s Mandy.’
There was silence.
‘No, babe. That was Idelle.’
Eva began to protest, but Jahmin made an impatient chopping gesture, cutting her off. ‘What about her hair? Mandy doesn’t have brown hair.’
‘It was blonde! It was blonde hair! It was Mandy!’ Eva put her hands to her head. The throbbing in her temple had returned. ‘She said hallo to us, remember?’
‘What are you talking about? How could we speak to her? We didn’t even cross the river! Look at you! Are you wet?’
Eva looked down at herself, confused. Her clothes were damp from sweat, but they weren’t soaked.
‘But … we talked to her. She said she would wait. So we could bring Devin and Rocky.’ Eva swallowed. ‘She said she loved me.’
Jahmin turned to Rocky, his face set. ‘That didn’t happen, I swear. We watched for a little bit on the other side of the river, and then we left. It was Idelle, babe.’
Eva shook her head, but Jahmin insisted. ‘It was Idelle. And we didn’t say a word to her.’
Eva thought back as hard as she could, but her mind was foggy. She remembered the spaceship, she remembered talking to Mandy, and she remembered the feelings of overwhelming relief and happiness that Mandy was alive. But she couldn’t recall crossing the river or Mandy explaining how she’d managed to survive the bus crash. And now she was really thinking about it, there was something else as well. Mandy, reaching out to stroke Eva’s cheek and the familiar sound of her bracelet jingling as it fell down her wrist.
She slid the backpack off her shoulders and fumbled in the inner pocket. There it was, the silver charm bracelet, coiled up like a little spiky centipede.
‘Look!’ she said, dangling it triumphantly. Her head felt clear again. ‘You’re right. Here’s her bracelet.’
Jahmin and Rocky exchanged glances.
‘Never mind. The point is, we didn’t talk to Mandy at all. She wasn’t there. But I thought she was. I totally believed she was.’
‘No offence, Evs,’ said Rocky, ‘but let Jahmin talk, okay?’
Eva closed her mouth and crawled into the shelter to do what she could for Devin. She didn’t blame Rocky for his scepticism. She didn’t believe it either.
38
Jahmin, Rocky and Eva sat by the fire, more because it represented safety and security than because they needed actual warmth. Devin lay asleep in the shelter. Eva insisted that sleep often happened after an epileptic seizure, but given she’d also engaged in an imaginary conversation with a dead friend, Rocky and Jahmin weren’t sure whether to take her word for it. Still, everyone was glad Devin’s breathy moaning had stopped. It was quite off-putting.
Rocky counted off on his fingers. ‘So … Liam was convinced that Eugene was after him, Devin’s fallen into a weird coma for no apparent reason, Evs thought she was talking to someone who wasn’t there, you’re both convinced there’s a spaceship sticking out of the hill, and Jahmin reckons Idelle Watkinson is praying to it.’
‘Doesn’t sound too good, does it?’ murmured Jahmin.
‘Apart from Idelle slash Mandy, we both saw the … thing … right?’ Eva had a hard time saying the word ‘spaceship’. It sounded ridiculous, like saying ‘I rode a dinosaur to school’ or ‘There’s fairies at the bottom of my garden’. She continued, ‘Which means we’re sharing the same delusion. Is that even possible?’
‘Mirages? Mass hysteria? Santa Claus?’ Rocky shrugged. ‘Anything’s possible.’
‘Which includes the possibility that it’s real,’ said Jahmin.
‘Which means Rocky needs to make the final call,’ said Eva.
‘Yeah, bro, it’s all up to you. Fact or fiction?’
‘What are you going to do, piggyback me?’
‘We could give you one of our jetpacks that we imagined.’
‘Or …’ interrupted a weak voice, ‘we could make a stretcher.’
‘Devin!’ Eva cried.
Devin shakily made her way out of the shelter, and Eva drew her closer to the fire. Devin accidentally brushed Rocky as she went past and recoiled so dramatically that Eva thought she was about to fall over.
Devin addressed the air above Rocky’s head, ‘Sorry about …’
‘No worries. Freaked me out a bit, but … you couldn’t help it.’
‘So we didn’t …?’
Rocky’s face was blank. ‘Didn’t what?’
‘Never mind. I thought … Never mind.’
‘How long have you been awake?’ Eva fussed about, making sure Devin was comfortable.
‘Not long. I was having crazy dreams, and then I heard someone say ‘delusion’ and suddenly I realised … because no one would, least of all him … and then … well, I just got up.’ Devin finished in a rush and huddled close to the fire as the others exchanged bemused looks. ‘My head … it was aching so bad, but it’s stopped now.’
‘Me too,’ Eva said slowly. ‘Throbbing, really rhythmical hammering, like ...’ She tapped her palms against her knees, da-dump, da-dump, ‘... like a heartbeat. Only in my head.’
Devin nodded. ‘That’s it. That’s it exactly. Only it was in my wrist and then it went …’ she blushed again, ‘… all through my body. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.’
Eva’s eyes were wide. ‘Me too! Me too, when I was talking to Mandy. Or not talking to Mandy, as it turns out.’
‘And Liam,’ Jahmin remembered. ‘He got a migraine, and next minute he thought Eugene was following us.’
‘So obviously these hallucinations, or dreams or whatever, are connected to these weird, pulsating headaches,’ Eva mused. She glanced at Rocky. ‘What about you?’
‘I wish. It’d take my mind off my leg.’
‘No headaches,’ said Jahmin smugly. ‘No hallucinations either.’
‘Apart from seeing spaceships,’ jeered Rocky.
‘I bet my pulse is normal too. How many beats a minute makes normal?’ Jahmin pressed his fingers against his wrist and stared into space, frowning thoughtfully.
Devin put up a tentative hand, like she was in school. ‘Sorry ... did you say spaceship?’
Eva filled her in. Devin’s eyes widened in surprise and delight.
‘So we’r
e all going to see a real live spaceship? That’s so cool! I’ve always wondered why spaceships only land in America. It never seemed fair to me.’
‘It’s our chance to even the score. Go NZ – first to see the sun, first destination of choice for cruising spaceships,’ said Eva. ‘Ministry of Tourism would love that.’
‘If it’s real. It’s probably a movie prop, and we’ll get sued for looking at it,’ said Rocky. ‘I just want something for my leg. Paracetamol. Ibuprofen. Anything.’
‘There was stuff everywhere,’ Eva said. ‘There’s sure to be something. More clothes. Food. A tent.’
Devin got to her feet and, giving Rocky a wide berth, started inspecting the ground.
‘What are you doing?’ Eva asked.
‘Finding poles for the stretcher. You kind of … wind clothes around them to lie on. It won’t be very comfortable.’
‘You don’t want to rest a bit more?’ asked Eva. ‘Have a lie down?’
‘No thanks,’ said Devin. ‘I’m fine.’ There was no way she was going back in that shelter, not for anything.
‘Er … guys,’ said Jahmin, his hands clamped to either side of his neck, his face fearful. ‘A little help?’
39
Devin sat back with a sigh. ‘Sorry, Jahmin. I can’t feel anything.’
Jahmin leapt to his feet in a panic. ‘But … that can’t be right. Do it again!’
‘She’s done it five times already!’ said Rocky. ‘We all have!’
‘But it’s not possible! I can’t not have a pulse! That would mean …’
Devin was shaking her head. ‘It can’t be. He can’t be …’
‘Dead?’ shouted Jahmin. ‘That’s what you can’t say, isn’t it? I don’t have a pulse? So I’m dead?’
‘Well, you’re the loudest dead person I ever heard,’ Eva said, pulling wads of clothing out of the gaps in the shelter roof and throwing them into a pile.
‘Really not helping,’ hissed Jahmin between gritted teeth.
‘Sorry. I’m just a bit weirded out.’
