Wherever My Heart Roams (Brides of the West Series Book Nine)

by Rita Hestand

  They lay spent, in each other's arms, smiling, kissing, holding each other, marveling in their differences.

  When she finally woke, she stared into his eyes, "The first time was wonderful, but this time was magnificent."

  "I'm glad you enjoyed it, sweetheart. I certainly aim to please." He whispered with a satisfied smile.

  "My God, I can't believe you've kept such a wonderful thing from me so long. I never dreamed…!"

  "You were glorious…" He smiled. "Just the way I remembered you. Every inch of you."

  "I could never have imagined such a feeling as you give me!"

  "I knew you were beautiful, but I never imagined how it would be to look at you, all of you! But our coming together was greater than even I imagined. You were so uninhibited this time. So free loving. And so damned beautiful." he said nuzzling her breasts, as he kissed her there. "I thought you would be timid and shy again. Making love becomes you."

  She reflected on that, "I probably would have when we first married. But given this time, I was so ready…It's almost like you were priming me for the moment in my life, and I'm not disappointed. It was more than I ever dreamed."

  The pleasure she found in him glinted from the passion of her glance.

  They spent the night making love. Each time was better than the last. She wasn't timid or shy with her body, and so trusting of his love making. And the waiting had been so worth it, because she was ready for him now. She had grown up, become a woman, become his wife, she smiled at herself.

  The next morning dawned too early for them, but neither complained, instead they had goofy grins on their faces most of the day.

  Beth felt like she had come into herself now. She'd never been a woman more than last night, in his arms. A month was too long to ever be away from him. She'd never felt such a freedom with anyone before. She had found her home, with Wade, in his arms. Where she belonged. What was so wonderful was how comfortable she was with him. She felt untethered, free, and so in love with her husband.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Within a month's time Jacob had become completely invaluable to Wade. To have someone he totally trusted was to his great advantage.

  Beth was thrilled they got along so well. The tension in Wade seemed to ease and even though his job was tedious, it was less so now.

  Jacob met General Martin and Wade assured the General that Jacob was completely trustworthy. He also informed him that Jacob could be a go between when needed and could do other tasks so that everything went smoothly.

  The only problem was the General's declining health.

  "If something should happen to me, they will send a replacement. Someone that will not be conspicuous." The General concluded.

  "Let's hope that doesn't happen, General." Wade assured him.

  Months passed and the north realized they'd have to prepare for and plan their battles more carefully. The south took on an air of a quick end to the war. Casualties were mounting and tension rode high. The battle of Shiloh taught them that the war was enduring and both sides had to dig in.

  Months passed, and the damage the war inflicted was a scene at every port now, towns burning from the cannon fires, soldiers dying by the thousands, some laying in the streets, the burial details took longer than the battles. The wounded outnumbered the able bodied soldiers.

  And just as tension seemed unbearable, Beth had astounding news.

  "I'm going to have your baby," She announced one night as Wade lay lamenting of the war and it's scars.

  He jerked up from the bed, and stood up, staring at her, "Are you serious?" He asked, his eyes round.

  "Of course. I wouldn't joke about something like that." Beth smiled.

  Wade seemed to take the news less vibrantly than she expected. She thought he was be ecstatic over it. Instead she saw more tension.

  "I thought you'd be pleased." She cried, standing on her knees in the bed.

  "I am…" he began, choosing his words carefully. "It's just…the timing…"

  "I'm sorry. Is there ever a right time?" She asked hesitantly.

  "No, I guess there isn't." He sighed heavily. "I suppose if the war was getting better, I'd be thrilled. But at this point I'm not sure it will ever get better. I want you to consider going home again for a while."

  "Home? Wade–this is my home. That trip taught me this. Don't you know that by now? I don't want to leave you! I refuse to leave you again." She nearly shouted, unable to believe he couldn't be happy about the baby.

  "And I don't want to worry about you…and the baby." He shouted back.

  She stood stunned, he never raised his voice to her before. She was devastated.

  "I'm sorry. But you have no idea how bad things are right now, Beth. If anything happened to you now, I couldn't bear it." He insisted. "I'm going to have to be a physical contact for the General now. He's totaling unable to continue those duties. He's recommended me for the job and I've accepted at their approval. They've given me a commission, I'm now a Major in the union army."

  "That' wonderful, I guess."

  "In some ways yes. In some ways it makes my part with the Confederates more dangerous. If I'm caught, they will hang me."

  "Hang you? But…that's barbaric?"

  "No, my sweet, that's war!"

  "I'm a firm believer that no one dies before their time. No one, so if that's true, I could die at home and it might be a while before you even knew it. Or you could die and I might not know it for ages. No, my place is here with you. I want to help you too. Jacob helps you. I want to do the same!" She touted. "Perhaps I could take over some of your regular duties so you have more time to work with the General."

  He stared at her a long moment, as though considering her words. "I hadn't thought of that. I hadn't. Well, maybe you could be of help in that way. I could write out a schedule, of how things runs, you could check on things daily for me, that would free up some of my time. Yes, it would. All right Beth, we'll give it a try. But if it gets to be too much for you, tell me, understand?"

  "Of course," she smiled again. "I'm glad you think I'm capable of handling a few things. I didn't want to sit idle all the time. I'd like to think I can be useful too."

  "You already are to me, yes. But there are mundane things I see to every day, and if I knew you were handling them for me, it would free up some time for other things. And Jacob has certainly been an asset. Between the two of you, you could run the Lady Belle."

  "Good, why don't you sit down now and assign me some of those mundane chores you attend to every day. I'm sure I could handle them." She encouraged.

  Instead he took her in his arms and sat her on his lap. "When will it come…" he asked staring into her face with a smile.

  "Around March…I'm three months pregnant."

  "Are you sure?" He asked.

  "I had the doctor on board check me out. He said yes I was. Naturally, I suspected it. I must have gotten pregnant almost from the first…"

  "I should have waited; I knew I should have…"

  "Waited? For what, old age? I love you Wade Cahill and you better be happy about our baby, or I'll throttle you myself." She started to get up, but he restrained her.

  "I am happy, inside. Forgive me, I want our child as much as you do. But the timing…"

  "There is no right time to have a child Wade. There will always be something going on."

  Suddenly he grabbed her and kissed her hard on the mouth, until her lips touched his and he melted against her. "My God, how long has it been since we…"

  "Too long, in case you haven't noticed." She smiled breathlessly.

  "I'll fix the schedule afterwards, my love…right now we have some celebrating to do." His smiled curled into her heart.

  "I'm so happy…" she cried and he kissed her hard again. Every time Wade kissed her she enjoyed it, whether it was rough, or tender, whether she was prepared or not. Being with Wade was enough. She basked in his affections.

  Two hours later he was up late making
a schedule for her, smiling all the while. She knew how to temper her husband, and keep him in a good mood, even when a nasty old war was going on. It was their love that held it all together.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck as he showed her the plans he had drawn up for her.

  "I can do that."

  "I'll have to get you a Captain's hat, so people will know you have authority around here." He smiled and kissed her hands.

  "I like that, and I'll do everything in my power not to make the real Captain jealous." She giggled.

  "Captain Horton will adore you helping out." He said.

  She came to sit in his lap now, "And if anyone asks where you've gotten to, what exactly should I tell them?"

  "Hmm…that's a good question. Perhaps a good comeback would be to tell them that since the Confederates have so much supplies and cargo, I have added duties and can't attend them. That should satisfy most of them."

  She frowned for a moment, "Do we have all Confederate sympathizers, is there no other?"

  "There is, but they are silently moving among us. General Martin tells me we have regular spy passengers all the time. And some soldiers traveling as Confederates during the ride, to escape to enemy lines. But he doesn't point them out to me and that I must at all times look as though I totally sympathize with the south. That way I will be under less suspicion."

  "He's a wise man. How long has he been in the service?"

  "Most of his life."

  "Will he survive through this war?" She asked.

  "I don't know. He's very ill."

  "I rather like him. He's not imposing. He doesn't require attention like the Confederate officers insist on."

  "Thank the Lord for that," Wade said and put his paperwork up. "Now, you can refer to your schedule any time, if you forget. Taking care of these things will free me up considerably and right now that is a good thing because General Martin is almost totally incapable of getting messages out. It's either I or Jacob that must carry them through."

  "He's that bad off?"

  "I'm afraid so."

  "Please be careful my love, I don't want our child to be fatherless." She cried and kissed him until he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

  They lay in each other's arms enjoying touching and looking at each other. Enjoying enticing each other into making love.

  "I never thought the young girl from East, Texas would ever fall into my arms and make love with me every night." He smiled contentedly.

  "I better watch it; I'll be pregnant every year with your babies." She giggled.

  "You know I haven't played a single game of poker in months now."

  "Oh my, we don't want to get out of practice, now do we?"

  He smiled, "No, but I can think of things I'd rather be doing now…" He smiled as he opened her robe to find her naked. "My God woman, do you have any idea what you do to me?"

  "Show me," she whispered, opening the robe fully so he could get a good look.

  He bent to kiss her nipples, both of them, then with a sexy smile he took her to bed, and showed her!

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Three months later, General Martin died in his cabin, while asleep. Wade reported it to the Union authorities and they informed him that he would take his place with a higher commission.

  They took the General off the boat, and as far as anyone knew he was buried in his homeland. Wade was vague about that. He wished he could attend the General's funeral, for he was given the highest of honors. But it would be hard to explain if a Confederate were to witness it.

  Instead, Wade studied the General's plans and meeting places. He informed Jacob of them too. And insisted that Jacob have a commission in service too, as he was invaluable to Wade at this point.

  Jacob and Beth ran the boat, while Wade saw to all the Confederate shipments and reported them to his superiors. The passengers noticed Wade's lack of attendance, but no one was bold enough to say anything.

  Beth always had a ready answer for the Confederate officers who wondered where Wade was many times.

  "Your husband seems to be away a lot these days." One Colonel suggested one evening when the cargo was being loaded.

  "He has business holdings in many parts of the River, he has to take care of them as they come up."

  "What sort of business holdings?" The Colonel persisted.

  Jacob heard the line of questioning and stepped up, "He does not discuss all of them with us, but his business has increased since the war began naturally and he has to attend to schedules all along the Mississippi. But your needs are being met as we speak sir, and I have been instructed to carry your orders out to complete satisfaction."

  "I see, well, that is courteous of you of course and the south appreciates it. Although we can't help but wonder why you haven't enlisted."

  "As you can see, I'm needed on my brother-in-law's boat sir. I came from Texas to assist him. It is your continued patronage that has increased his workload, I assure you."

  "His business must have increased greatly to have you both tending his work."

  Beth wanted to present a charming front for the southern cause. "We want to do our part for the cause, Colonel." She fanned herself looking ravishing as she said it.

  "That's admirable." He smiled and kissed Beth's hand.

  One time he had to sneak off the boat and report in person right after the General died and it was harrowing getting through the Confederate lands to the northern contacts. It took days and worried Beth at the same time.

  But she never shirked her responsibilities and always helped to run the boat.

  One day she got a letter from home.

  "Something interesting, I hope." Jacob came up from behind her.

  "It's from Ma. She said they were all doing fine, including Mother Cahill. Said the Indian raids had slowed down a bit since they raised some vigilantes to get after them. That Daniel was Baptized last month along with Sarah. That Mother Cahill had learned to load and reload guns, make wild plum jelly and they had a barn dance two weeks ago. Said Sarah had a young man she danced with all night long, and it looked as though she was very interested in him although Ma sat her down and talked to her about things and that she wasn't near ready to marry yet. Matthew is turning eighteen and enlisting in the Confederate army." She laid the letter down and frowned. "Oh my, I dreaded that."

  "Matthew is a southern kind of man. I just hope he gets in a good unit and learns how to stay alive. I knew it was coming. But I just couldn't stay and fight for the south. My heart wasn't in it." Jacob swore under his breath.

  "I sure hope Matthew knows what he's doing."

  "He has no choice. They're calling up everyone from 18-35, and considering 45."

  "That's true, not now he doesn't have a choice. I'm glad father is forty-six then." Beth sighed heavily.

  "Does she say anything else?" Jacob asked.

  "She said there is no word from Martina. And she sends her love and hopes we are all well."

  "I'm seriously afraid Martina is a lost cause."

  "Oh God, I hope you are wrong."

  "So do I." Jacob smiled. "You know, I really like running this boat."

  "Do you?" Beth smiled, glad they were no longer talking about the letter.

  "Yeah, I've learned so much and I enjoy most of the work too."

  "Do you miss home?" She asked staring into his blue eyes.

  "Sometimes, but not often. It's kind of funny, but I don't think I'd fit in back there anymore. This is a whole different world here, Beth. And I like it." Jacob was smiling. "The work here suits me, and I have learned how to negotiate my way with the passengers, whether they are young and beautiful, or old and onry."

  She chuckled.

  "I'm glad Jacob. I'm so glad you came with me. You've been a big help to Wade and me. We don't know what we'd do without you." Beth said.

  "Yeah well, that reminds me, you better go check the dining menu, make sure it's all correct and no problems. I'll check the ga
ming room."

  "Sounds good."

  "Say, you feelin' alright these days? I haven't really asked about the baby much…" Jacob apologized.

  "I'm fine, the baby is a frisky bugger, I can tell you that. The doc just checked me out said everything was well."

  "Wade seems to be a little jumpy lately. I think it's because of the baby but I don't know for sure." Jacob commented. "Since Martin died he's been on pins and needles."

  "I know. I'm fine, there's a doctor on board, and everything is looking good. Ma did this twelve times, I think I can manage my first…" She chuckled.

  "Sis, I think you could handle just about anything." Jacob winked and left for the the game room."

  ~*~

  But Wade was worried about getting through enemy lines more than anything. He'd managed so far, but each time there was more danger.

  He was stopped by a patrol of southern soldiers once.

  "Sir, who are you and what are you doing in this area. This is a restricted area." The young Lieutenant said.

  "My papers," Wade handed him papers signed by one of the southern Generals and waited for the young officer to let him through.

  "What is your business?"

  "I'm owner of the Lady Belle, I'm making repairs for my boat at Natchez and had to wait for a part. When it didn't come in, I had to go get it."

  Luckily he had a part of a pump on him and showed it to the young officer.

  The officer took it, turned it around in his hands and gave it back to him.

  "From now on this area is restricted to only Confederate personnel. We cannot take responsibility for civilians we find traipsing about. You understand?"

  "Of course, I'm sorry."

  "Be on your way." The officer commanded.

  Wade nodded.

  He breathed easier once he was beyond range of the Confederates. He'd have to remember this area and not go near it again. He got away with it because he had the part on him, but next time he might not be as prepared to meet their questions.