“You sure about that?” I asked. He nodded and laughed as he walked away. He obviously didn’t know what he’d unleashed.
“Jees Cal, you trying to kill us? Bringing a hot piece of ass like this in? I’ll never get through my work out!” Mr Universe the fiftieth for that afternoon declared as he walked in and passed me his membership card. “What’s your name baby?” He asked as he leant across the counter.
“Lucy” I relied.
“Well Lucy, I’ll be finished about ten, then I’m gonna show you a really good time sweet thing” He said, cockier than any other guy I had encountered so far. I looked at his membership card, Nick.
“Hey Nick, can I tell you something?” I asked with a sweet smile.
“Go for it baby.”
“You ever call me baby or assume I would even be remotely interested in someone whose mouth is clearly bigger than their brain and their manhood combined once again, and I’ll show your backside the sharp end of my heel!” I said with a sweet smile.
“Damn Nick. I think you just got rejected!” Cal roared between laughter.
“You’re hard to get. I like that.” Nick said with a smile. I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, you just keep trying mate and you’ll see what hard to get really means.” I handed his membership card back and smiled once again. He just chuckled as he walked away.
“Good work.” Cal said with a smile and I felt pleased with myself. I realised Cal was right, I had to just cut them short before they started, and I could take these guys on like naughty schoolboys. I could do this job.
“Home time hon. Go grab your things and I’ll walk you out. Someone picking you up?” Cal asked when it got to eleven. The time had flown, and I couldn’t believe it was the end of my shift already.
“Yeah, my…..erm…..my brother.” I said, realising it was easier to just call Jack my brother than explain our complicated relationship.
“Good. If ever you can’t get anyone to collect you I’ll always drop you off. Don’t ever walk home, will you? This isn’t the safest neighbourhood, especially this late.” Cal said as I walked out from the staff room in my coat.
“I won’t. That’s really nice of you, thank you.” I said as headed towards the door with him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and it felt a little awkward, but I just let him. He was just trying to be friendly after all and I trusted him. He had done nothing to make me doubt him all day.
When we got outside I couldn’t see Jack’s car. I looked around and was just about to tell Cal he wasn’t there when Rob’s SUV flew into the car park and stopped right in front of me.
“This him?” Cal asked.
“It’s a good friend. Jack must have sent him instead for some reason.” I explained as Rob leapt out of the car and stomped towards us. His face was filled with anger and I thought he was going to shout at me. What was wrong with him? What had I done?
“Lucy, get in the car!” He roared as he stopped directly opposite Cal and squared up to him.
“Where’s Jack?” I asked. I was nervous. I had never seen this side of him, and it scared me.
“Busy. Get in the car!” He barked again. I began to tremble. I didn’t know Rob that well yet and he was really angry about something. He wouldn’t hurt me, would he? Apart from him finding me in the bar that night, we hadn’t really spent very much time together and now here he was having a go at me for no apparent reason. Not wanting to make a scene in front of my new boss I held in what I really wanted to say in reply to his tone with me and stopped my fight or flight response from making me flee for my life.
“Fine. Thanks for waiting with me Cal.” I said as I moved out of his hold.
“Are you going to be ok?” He asked obviously sensing my nervousness.
“Of course she fucking is!” Rob roared. Not wanting him to shout at Cal anymore and lose me the job I had spent all day thoroughly enjoying I decided the best thing to do was get out of there, as soon as possible. There was no way Rob would hurt me, Matt trusted him, so I had to too.
“I’ll be fine Cal, Thank you. I’ll see you on Monday.” My voice was shaking, and I knew adrenaline was kicking in as it always had done when Phil lost his temper.
“Looking forward to it!” He said with a nod, then he turned and walked into the building, obviously not rising to whatever Rob’s problem was. I climbed into the SUV and struggled to pull the door closed behind me. Rob jumped in, slammed it into drive angrily and set off way too fast.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked after a minute. “Where’s Jack?”
“He got called into the hospital…..some big emergency. He asked me to pick you up” He said through gritted teeth, staring forward the whole time.
“Were you busy? If you were you didn’t have to come. Cal offered to drive me home.” I explained thinking maybe it had put him out having to pick me up and that was why he was so annoyed with me. Rob pulled the car over aggressively and turned to look at me. I moved as far away from him as I could, terrified he was going to lash out.
“You don’t know that guy! You do not get in his car, ever! Do you understand me Lucy?” He yelled so loud I seriously considered throwing the door open and fleeing from the car.
“What is your problem?” I asked shakily, calling on every reserve of strength I had. I refused to just cower. I never wanted to be that weak, terrified girl again.
“I don’t like you working there. I don’t like pulling up and seeing that perv all over you like that!” He was still shouting.
“He’s not a perv! He’s a nice guy and he wasn’t all over me. He was just being friendly. It’s nice that he cared enough to walk me out!” I defended.
“I want you to leave that job! Matt and Jack are right, you shouldn’t be working there!”
“No, I won’t. I like it there and I don’t appreciate you shouting at me like this! You have no right!” I tried to shout, but I was crying now, and the tears made my voice tremble and I couldn’t get it out. I was afraid, I barely knew this man and last time someone raged at me the way he was, they beat me half to death.
Rob looked at me as though he wanted to rant again, but he didn’t know what to say. Instead he slammed the car into drive, even angrier than before and sped the remaining two blocks to the apartment building. When he pulled up I didn’t even wait for him to park up before I leapt out of the car and ran into the building.
I heard Rob drive off again and I was just so relieved he hadn’t followed me inside. I got into the lift and tried to calm my frantic breathing all the way up to our apartment. Why had he behaved like that? Had I really done something wrong? Did he hate me? It certainly seemed that way.
When I got into the apartment and found it empty I just slammed the door closed and slid down it. I curled up on the floor and cried into my hands. I had been so completely terrified and all I could see was Phil just as angry and then the attacks that followed. I sat for a while trying desperately to get control of myself and failing miserably. I just couldn’t shake away the images of Phil beating and raping me.
It was the shrill ring of the apartment phone that eventually made me stand up again. I hurried over to answer it assuming it would be Matt or Jack checking I got home alright. I really wanted to hear one of their comforting voices. I took a deep breath to compose myself and then picked up the receiver.
“Hello?” I greeted as calmly as I could.
“Hello Angel,” I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Terror filled me and I was instantly trembling. He had found me.
“What do you want?” I whispered, my voice trembling. Strong, be strong.
“You of course Angel. I want you to come home. I miss you.” I could hear the chilling coldness in his voice that I had heard so many times before he abused me.
“That’s not going to happen Phil!” I said as bravely as I could muster.
“Oh yes it is Lucy. You are coming back to me. You belong to me.” I could hear his anger level rising and I was so glad he
was on the phone and not in front of me.
“It’s over. Move on Phil. I don’t belong to anyone anymore!” I shouted tearfully.
“You belong to me Angel and I’m coming for you. See you soon.” With that he hung up and I threw the phone down and ran to my room. He was coming for me! I knew he would, but to hear him say it, to know he knew where I was, made it so terrifyingly real. Was he already here? He said, ‘see you soon’. How soon? Was he outside the apartment at that very moment? I ran to my bedroom and slammed the door closed, then dragged the incredibly heavy chest of drawers in front of it powered by pure adrenaline. I ran to check all of the windows were locked and closed the blinds, then I crawled under the bed and chanted over and over “Please come home Matt.” I should have called him, I could have, but I had left the phone in the lounge and I was beyond petrified to go back out there. I was sure if I did I would find Phil waiting for me.
“Please Matt…..Please come home!” I sobbed over and over just praying he would get there before Phil and protect me.
ROB
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! I had royally fucked that up! What the hell was wrong with me? I had just scared the crap out of someone who had known nothing but fear and pain for years!
“You fucking idiot!” I raged at myself. I had pulled up just down the street from Matt’s apartment block, too angry to drive any further after dropping her off.
I had completely lost it when I had seen that creep with his arm around her. I was just consumed with rage that anyone, let alone a man twice her age, would dare to touch her. Maybe I had been right, at least partly. He did seem like a creep, pawing all over her like that! Maybe I had been right to be mad, but I had been really wrong to take it out on her. She would probably never speak to me again now! I slammed both hands on the steering wheel in anger. I had just screwed up weeks of work to make Lucy trust me. I had to speak to her. I needed the fix the whole fucked up situation. I decided I would go to Matts and try to explain myself to her, if she’d actually listen, but first I needed to pull myself together.
I turned the car around and parked up outside Matt’s building, then I headed down the street to get a coffee while I cooled down. When I’d got my shit together I’d go and apologise. I only hoped she would accept it because I couldn’t live without that sassy, beautiful woman in my life!
It was about thirty minutes and two espressos later when I walked into the apartment building. I was completely calm again and eager to try and straighten things out as soon as possible. I took the elevator to the twentieth floor and almost ran to Matt’s apartment. I knocked lightly, realising it was late and she was very likely to be asleep. When she didn’t answer I took out my keys and unlocked the door. If she were asleep I wouldn’t wake her, but I just wanted to see her and know that she was ok, make sure I hadn’t upset her too much.
I opened the door silently and stuck my head in. The lights were on, but she wasn’t there. I snuck in and closed the door behind me. I decided I’d just peek in her room to check she was alright and then I’d leave and try my apology in the morning instead. I crept through the apartment, not wanting to wake her. I stopped outside her room and listened. I wanted to be sure I wasn’t going to walk in on her in the shower or anything awkward that would just make things worse between us. It was silent. I knocked very faintly on the door and called her, just loud enough for her to hear if she was awake, but not to wake her if she was sleeping. When she didn’t answer I assumed she was sleeping and very quietly pushed the door handle down and moved to slowly open the door, just to take a peek in and reassure myself all was well.
The door, however, didn’t move. Had she locked it? Did these doors even lock? It was very odd. I studied the handle for a moment and knew for a fact there was no lock on it. I pushed the door again, but it opened only a millimetre. Something was blocking the door. I pushed it a little further, not wanting to ram it open full force in case it was Lucy that was blocking it. I looked in through the tiny gap and saw the room was in darkness. I knew then she wasn’t asleep because she never slept in the dark, it terrified her,
“Lucy!” I called. I was really worried now. I had to know where she was. I listened, trying to hear if she was near the door but instead I heard her across the room, and I was sure she was crying.
“Lucy! Open this door! What the hell is going on?” I yelled. Was someone in there with her? She was too small to move something as heavy as what was behind the door, wasn’t she? Was it Phil? Was he in there? Was he hurting her? I hadn’t been alerted he had entered the country, but I wouldn’t put anything past the sneaky fucker!
“Fuck!” I hissed as I started shouldering the door with everything I had. I was unarmed, but I would kill him with my bare hands if the motherfucker were in there!
On the second shove there was an almighty crash and the door opened just enough for me to squeeze through into the dark room. I charged in and flicked on the lights, scanning the entire room from where I stood. The dresser which had been blocking the door had tipped over and was badly smashed up in front of me, everything that had been on top of it spread across the floor too. The rest of the room was neat and tidy and there was no sign of Lucy or Phil. I hurried through the room to check the ensuite and the closet, but both were empty. Where the fuck was she? I’d heard her, crying. I was frantic then, just needing to see her, to know she was safe. I moved back to the centre of the room and listened again. I couldn’t hear crying, but then I heard her take a breath. She was under the bed. I dropped down to my front and laid out next to the bed, ready to rip Phil out if he was under there! Instead I found Lucy laid on her front, her hands clamped over her mouth, her eyes closed tight and tears running down her cheeks. Had I done this to her? Had I really sacred her this much?
I moved to the foot of the bed and laid down on my front, so I was face to face with her. She looked more terrified than anyone I had ever seen, and I had seen some really bad stuff in my career, but never anyone so innocent, so torn apart by fear.
“Lucy?” I whispered as gently as I could. “Sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Rob” I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing. If it was me she was scared of I was probably making it worse, but I couldn’t just leave her there. I had to try. “Lucy, I need you to open your eyes and look at me, ok. It’s just me. I am not going to hurt you, I swear.” She still didn’t move.
“Lucy. Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” I asked, just feeling desperate to pull her out and sweep her up into my arms, but not wanting to scare her anymore. Still she didn’t move, and I didn’t know what the hell to do.
“I’m going to call Matt honey, ok?” Maybe he would be able to talk to her. She clearly wasn’t talking to me. I sat up and pulled out my cell. I had Matt on speed dial and I just hoped he wasn’t stuck in surgery.
“Rob? It’s late. Are you ok?” Thankfully, he answered quickly.
“Matt I need you to come home. Can you get away?” I asked, wanting to get off the phone and back to her as soon as possible.
“Why? Is it Lucy?” He asked hurriedly.
“Yeah. Can you get away or not?” I knew I was being short, but I needed to get back to her.
“I’m on my way. Is she hurt Rob?”
”I don’t know man. Just get here, please.” I said more calmly.
“Ten minutes.” With that he hung up and I laid back down in front of her. She still had her eyes closed tight, but she had moved her hands down from her mouth and they were on the floor in front of her. I reached out and very gently covered one of them with one of mine.
“Matt’s coming sweetheart.” I tried to soothe her.
“Is he here?” It was such a tiny whisper I only just heard it.
“Matt? He’s on his way. He won’t be long.”
“Not Matt. Phil” She was sobbing then, tears flooding down her cheeks once again.
“Phil? No Lucy! He’s not here sweetheart. It’s just you and me.”
“Just you and me?”
; “Just Rob…...I’m the only one in the apartment Lucy. You’re safe. I’ll never let him or anyone else hurt you. Everything’s ok.” Why did she think Phil was there? Had he been there? I’d cleared the apartment automatically upon entering, as I always did out of habit. No way was he there.
“I’m so scared Rob” She whimpered and then she reached out to me. I took my opportunity and pulled her out from the bed. I sat up and cradled her on my lap, just needing to hold her and wanting her to feel I would keep her safe. She curled up in my arms and sobbed. As I held her I visually checked her over, looking for injuries of any kind, but she seemed ok physically.
“He’s coming.” She finally whimpered and I held her tighter.
“He will never come near you again Lucy. I won’t let him, and neither will Matt or Jack. We will protect you, always.”
“He’s coming.” She said again and then she was sobbing even harder. I did the only thing I could do and held her tight.
Matt burst in minutes later and she almost screamed as she tried to cling to me even closer if it was possible.
“It’s ok sweetheart. It’s Matt…..just Matt.” I reassured her.
“Rob?” He called frantically.
“In here!” I called back and then he was squeezing in the gap of the bedroom door assessing the scene. He was still in his scrubs, even his scrub cap on his head. I hoped to God he hadn’t run out of some poor patient’s surgery.
“What’s happened?” He asked as he looked at the smashed-up dresser behind the door. Lucy looked up then and stared at him a moment.
“Matt!” She cried as she leapt to her feet and ran into his arms. She clung to him manically and continued to sob.
“It’s ok Darling. I’m here, everything’s ok.” He soothed. He held her for a few minutes and then when she wasn’t calming any he lifted her up and carried her over to the bed.
“What happened?” He whispered to me as he sat on the bed and held her close.
Something Other than Fear Page 12
