I never thought about it that way, but she’s probably right.
Shit.
“There’s something I need to admit to you,” Faye says, cringing.
I look at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.
“There’s a reason I took Elizabeth’s case,” she says, shifting on her chair. “Ranger asked me once why I chose to help with finding her, and I didn’t tell him the whole truth then.”
“What’s the reason?” I ask, brow furrowing.
“I kind of told Ranger I wouldn’t bring it up, but I was going to ask you a favor,” she says, clearing her throat. “I didn’t know that you and Ranger would end up all in love and shit, but I’m glad you did, and I just want to say that I’m sorry. I won’t ask anything from you, and I feel a little guilty that I was going to.” She smiles and takes a deep breath. “Okay, well, I feel better now, how about you?”
I open my mouth to ask what her original plan was, but then decide against it. I have a feeling that I don’t want to know, and if I change my mind I’m sure Ranger can enlighten me. So I ask her something that has been bothering me instead. “I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“How do you keep everything separate? Being in the MC plus your work with the feds—it must be hard to juggle the two?” I ask, hoping she can give me some advice.
She looks at me and sighs. “Since Sin stepped down as president, it’s actually a lot easier for me. I don’t have to worry about what everyone is doing anymore, although I still do. It’s hard to step down from a role that I’ve played for years, plus it’s just me—I’m a caring and thoughtful person. But now with Anna handling everything, when I go to work, it’s work. No one throws being a biker in my face, they know I’m good at what I do. Yes, I’m a lawyer, but I’m so much more. I’m well connected, I can defend myself and others, and I’m smart. I’m an asset. They treat me as such. My family comes first, always, so if they call me or need me, I’m there. I think it would be harder in your position as a police officer than it is for me, a lawyer.”
“So, basically, I’m screwed?” I groan, covering my face with my hands. “I don’t know how this is going to turn out.”
“Whatever happens, you will handle it,” she says with such confidence that even I believe her.
“Ranger wants us to move in together,” I say, changing the subject, since I still don’t know what the right thing to do is.
“Oooh, housewarming party!” Faye beams. “If you need any help moving or decorating or looking for a house, basically if you need any help at all, you have my number.”
“How do you have so much time on your hands with two kids, a husband, and working with the feds?” I ask, shaking my head. “You’re Wonder Woman.”
“That’s only half of it,” she says with a wink. “I like to stay busy, and I like to make sure I can take care of my extended family, but I also like to help others. I’m blessed; not everyone is. If I can help in some way, I will.”
Asher stirs in his little carrier thing, so Faye picks him up and taps his back gently as he rests on her chest. “I’m glad you two sorted out the whole Elizabeth thing. Now, that was some drama.”
My lip twitches. “That’s an understatement. She’s really liking her boyfriend, so I think that is helping her move on, you know? And she’s forgiven me, which I’m grateful for. She could have chosen to be bitter and hold a grudge.”
“You didn’t do anything that bad,” Faye says, sniffing. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Love doesn’t come easy—there’s always a war, or a battle, but it makes you appreciate it more.”
I wonder what her battle was.
“I don’t think my cousin shares your thoughts,” I utter, then change the subject again. “So you know a lot about houses and interior decorating, then?”
Faye nods. “Yep. What do you have in mind? Oh, you should buy a house near mine! That would be so cool. Are you more of a country or modern woman?”
“Modern,” I say, watching Asher as he falls back asleep. “I don’t know what Ranger has in mind, but he said he wants to go see some houses next week.”
“This is so exciting! A cop and a biker shacking up. A police car parked next to a Harley. The forbidden love story writes itself.”
I laugh, but the truth is, our love is forbidden.
And our battle isn’t over yet.
• • •
I walk out of the police station, fuming, and get into my car. When I was called in for a chat with the chief, I had no idea it would be about my personal life. Everything has finally caught up to me; everything Travis warned me about is coming true. Apparently a woman of the law should not be fraternizing with an MC gang, and as such, I need to cease all contact with them if I want to keep my job. Also—an investigation into my activities may be taken. I wanted to tell her it’s not a gang, it’s a club, but I don’t think that would have been appreciated. The chief, who was once my ally, the woman who I’ve known for years, now tells me that I can lose my job just for falling in love. It was hard to hear it, even harder to hear it from her.
I haven’t done anything illegal, and it really sucks that this is happening to me. I’m a good cop—I love my job and I’m good at it, but I guess I can see it from her perspective too. I just don’t know what to do now. Sure, I could stay away from the clubhouse, but there’s no way I can stay away from Ranger.
Shit.
I head home and give myself a little bit of time to lie in bed and feel sorry for myself. I send Ranger a message that says we need to talk, so I’m not surprised when he shows up not an hour later at my house.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as he walks into my bedroom. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, glancing up at him. “I don’t know how we thought this would be okay, that I could be with a biker and be a cop at the same time. We got away with it up until now, I guess.”
“Tell me everything,” he demands, sitting down and gently stroking my hair. “Who do I need to kill?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “See! You can’t say shit like that. I don’t even know if you’re joking or not.”
I feel like crying, and that’s just not me.
I have to choose—my career or Ranger.
THIRTY-NINE
Ranger
I’M not joking.
“And unless you’re going to kill the whole police station, nothing else can save me.”
“Babe, tell me what happened. I can’t fix it if I don’t know,” I say, wondering what has happened. I can guess, but I want to know the whole story. Whoever is giving her shit will pay. She hasn’t done anything wrong, has never crossed the line by doing something that goes against her ethics or morals, except love me. And that shouldn’t be a crime.
It can’t be.
She tells me everything that was said in her meeting, and I listen, already forming a plan in my head. She’s right: we were naïve to think there would be no repercussions from our union. Of course they wouldn’t want a cop with a biker. I don’t want her to lose her career, her identity, and then resent me forever after that, and I don’t want Jo to have to change who she is; I would never expect her to.
“I don’t know what to do, Ranger,” she admits, sitting up and shuffling back against the headboard. “And don’t you dare say I don’t need to work, you know how much I love my job.”
“I know,” I tell her, my hand on her bare knee. “And I want you to keep it because I know that it’s a part of you.”
She hasn’t said that we shouldn’t be together yet, which means running isn’t on her mind. I hope she’s not thinking it though. There has to be an alternative, but I can only think of one option.
The thing is—I’d do anything for this woman, and I’d never regret it. I look at the ring on her finger. This woman is going to be my wife. She’s all in, and so am I.
“I’m going to fix this,” I tell her, standing up. “And no, not by killing anyone
.”
“What are you going to do?” she asks in suspicion. “I’ll just stay away from the clubhouse is all. They can investigate all they want, I don’t have anything to hide. Sure, it will be annoying, but once they figure that out I’m sure they’ll leave me alone.”
I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. They have something over her now, and they might even try to use her to take the Wind Dragons down. I won’t put her in that position. Not that the Wind Dragons do any illegal shit like the Wild Men did, so really we don’t have anything to hide.
“Do you trust me?” I ask her.
“You’re quoting Aladdin,” she says, but then adds, “Of course I trust you, Ranger.”
I love being a biker, and being in an MC. The Wild Men were my family, and now the Wind Dragons are my family, and they always will be.
But they don’t need me.
Jo is the most important person in the world to me, and I only see one way out of this. It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about this for a while anyway, but my plan was to go nomad, not to quit the lifestyle and settle down. I don’t think anyone saw that coming, myself included, but here we are.
My first thought: Talon isn’t going to take this very well.
• • •
“Have you lost your fuckin’ mind?” Talon yells, pacing up and down the patio. “No, Ranger. I can’t let you do this. We’re your family, your brothers, you can’t give up on an MC you never gave a real chance to.”
“I second that,” Faye says, her eyes filled with sadness. “If I knew she was going to take you away from us, I would have taken her out.”
“Faye,” I growl, but she just stares at me defiantly. “She doesn’t even know I plan on doing this, so don’t blame her.”
“So you’re leaving the MC voluntarily? That makes it so much worse,” she says, sniffing. “I know I haven’t known you long, Ranger, but you’ve become one of the brothers. I care about you. Stop being selfish. I can fix this. I’ll talk to the feds, ask them to handle it or something, I don’t know.”
“What are they going to do? Put out a new law that cops can fuck bikers without any repercussions?”
“Ranger, you’re my brother. I fuckin’ love you. Don’t make a decision you’re going to regret,” Talon says, stopping in front of me.
“It’s not like I’m not going to see all of you!” I tell them, scrubbing a hand down my face. “You’re still my family, and always will be. Sin and Faye stepped down, and they’re always still around. It’s going to be the same thing. When I joined, I felt like something was missing here, but that something was Jo. Just because I hand in my cut doesn’t mean we aren’t still a family, okay? It’s not like that. I’m not going anywhere. Fuck, Faye, we’re looking for a house right near yours! We’ll be fuckin’ neighbors—get that sad look off your face because I can’t deal with it!”
I didn’t know how much she’d grown on me until this very moment. She’s just always been here for me, every time I needed someone to talk to, and even when I didn’t think I wanted anyone to talk to. “And, Talon, you’re my brother. My best friend. We’ve been through hell and back together. If you think I’m going to turn my back on you, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”
His green eyes fill with pain, and it hurts me to know I’m the cause of it. “You’re serious about this.”
I nod and repeat, “I’m still going to be here, Talon.”
“Fuck,” he grits out, looking to Faye, who simply shrugs.
“It sucks but it makes sense, Talon,” she says, tapping her fingers on the chair arm. “When are you going to tell Arrow? Make it final?”
“As soon as I see him,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’ll hand in my cut tonight.”
Talon shakes his head and storms off angrily. We both watch him, then turn to each other. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“He’ll come around,” she says, smiling sadly. “Especially when he sees that you’ll still be in his life. He’s probably just hurt. We’ll miss you around here. But maybe one day you’ll be back.”
I look around, my gaze stopping on the playground. Will my kids ever get to play here?
“You never know,” I tell her.
She comes over to me and kisses my cheek. “I’m always here for you if you need me, Ranger.”
“Right back at you, Faye.”
She heads inside and I’m left with the image of Talon’s pain in my head. I know he will come around, and accept my decision, but it’s still hard. He was once my president, but he was always my friend. I’m all he has left of the Wild Men, of the legacy his stepfather left for him, and I wonder if that has something to do with it. He’s happy here though, I can see that so clearly, and he needs to let me go so I can be happy too.
I’ve made my decision.
Now I just have to tell Arrow to make it official.
• • •
“Are you sure?” Arrow asks, stroking his beard. “We can try something to make it work, Ranger.”
“I’m sure,” I say, looking him in the eye.
He’s silent for a few moments but then nods. “You do what you have to do, but I’ll be sad to see you leave. You’re a good man.”
“It hasn’t been an easy decision,” I admit to him. “Kind of terrifying really, but I’ll still be around, you know. Just not a part of the MC.” I place my cut on the table. “I’ll have my stuff moved out by tonight.”
This is hard. Seeing everyone sad to see me go is very difficult for me. I had no idea they all cared so much, but I should have. It’s in the way the women look after me, in the way the men treat me. Sure, I haven’t known them as long as some, but they still saw me as a brother. I don’t think it was them, it was me. Something was missing here; I just felt like I couldn’t find my place. But what if it was me? What if I didn’t try hard enough? I don’t like change much, and following Talon to the Wind Dragons was definitely a big change. I don’t regret it though. The Wind Dragons are better than the Wild Men could ever be. A family unit. A force to be reckoned with. No one can touch the Wind Dragons without getting burned, without making enemies for life. And yet, they’re some of the kindest people I’ve ever known. Fuck, now I’m starting to feel emotional, but I mask it. No one needs to see that, especially not my president.
I stand up and walk to the door when he calls my name. “Yes?”
He studies me, then says, “You ever want back in, you’re in, you got it?”
My eyes widen at the offer, one I never expected on receiving. I nod and leave the room, closing the door behind me.
FORTY
“YOU did what?” Jo yells, her face going pale. “Are you crazy? Those people are your family, that is your life. I’d never ask you to give that up!”
“You didn’t have to,” I say calmly, watching her pace and rant in a similar way that Talon did. Jeez, there’s just no pleasing anyone these days, is there?
“What if you regret this, Ranger?” she asks, looking on the verge of tears. “What if you start hating me because it’s my fault you lost all of it? How am I supposed to live with that? You love everyone in the MC. Talon and Faye are going to hate me!”
“I made this choice alone,” I tell her, crooking my finger for her to approach. “It’s not on you; it’s on me. You didn’t ask this of me, and I know that you wouldn’t. I’d never regret choosing you, Jo, and I’d never blame you for my decisions. I don’t want you to have to give up your job and life because of things I’ve done in my past. The Wind Dragons aren’t going anywhere. I’ll still see them, they’re still my family, I just won’t be an official member, nor will I know whatever shit is going on with the club. I still get to see them, I still get to ride my bike, and you get to keep your job. Where’s the downside in this?”
“Well, when you put it like that,” she mutters, dropping down onto my lap. “Are you sure though, Ranger? If you’re doing this just for me, please don’t. I wouldn’t want you to. It�
��s too much to give up.”
“I’m sure,” I assure her, burying my face in the crook of her neck. “I’ve decided: it’s done with, all right? Maybe now I can use one of my degrees and get a real job.”
“That’s your plan?” she asks, cupping my cheek with her palm. “You’re not going to be a man of leisure? I know you have enough money to do that if you want to.”
“I don’t like not working,” I say. “I was kept busy with the accounts at the club, but now I’ll find something new. I don’t usually like change, but I feel like this will be a good change. If my mom was alive, she’d be so happy right now.”
She lifts my head and kisses me. “I can’t believe you just gave up everything for me.”
I look her in the eye and say, “I can’t believe that you’re surprised.”
• • •
We decide to go for one last ride together, but before we do, Talon pulls me to the side.
“I’m sorry I was a dick before,” he says, shifting on his feet. “I’d do the same for Tia and Rhett.” He pauses and slaps me on the back. “Just don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“You know I won’t,” I say, eyeing his cut. “You’re the only friend I have left who’s known me for years. You’re family, and nothing can change that.”
He nods, flashes me a sad smile, and then walks to his bike.
The end of a fuckin’ era.
• • •
We keep busy for the next week looking at houses, happy when we finally find one that we both like just down the road from Faye and Sin’s. It’s a two-story, recently built beautiful house with a modern design, a pool, and a large garden. It has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an amazing security system, which is important to me. Jo takes Faye to see it, who instantly loves it, and we make an offer the next day. While we wait to hear back from them, we start to pack up Jo’s stuff, adding it to the boxes of my possessions from my clubhouse room. My other house is being rented, and I’m going to leave it as an investment. I want a fresh start with her. And I wanted her to help choose our new house. I don’t really have much, to be honest. Clothes, boots, and my bike. I’m not a materialistic person, and I don’t need much. Jo is packing up her clothes while I’m doing the kitchen for her, just leaving out the basics to get us through until the move.
Crossroads Page 21
