She choked back tears to form the words, but she had to understand. “What happens to a Nephilim if it is destroyed? Why is it better than Falling?”
“The Nephilim are unique creatures. They possess two separate natures, two souls. Their behavior and abilities are determined by whichever nature is in control. This can change over time. A Nephilim can go for many years with no sign of wickedness and then their corrupt nature can take over.” He heaved an audible sigh and raked his fingers through his hair. “When a Nephilim is corrupted, but not Fallen, the human soul can still be saved.”
“But the body must be destroyed?”
“Aye. By killing the corrupted spirit, we set the human soul free.”
His passionate revelation in the forest came back to haunt her. He had fathered three children and two had died by his hand.
Without glancing away from the fire, he responded to her thoughts. “Aye. Two of my children had to be destroyed. I murdered them while their mothers screamed, clawing at my flesh and cursing my name.”
Alyssa’s legs trembled so badly she sank onto a wooden bench. Three thousand years was not enough time to heal such a wound. No wonder he hesitated to touch her. She couldn’t even imagine such devastation.
“How many of your order Fell?”
“Nine-tenths. When our sin was revealed, nine-tenths of the Grigori joined the ranks of the Fallen. I was not allowed to Fall. I was given the task of locating and judging the Nephilim. Beginning with the three I had fathered.”
Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, not wanting to draw his attention. He would resent her pity and he wasn’t ready to accept her compassion. One question still bothered her, but she hesitated. She had caused him enough pain.
“What do you want to know?” he demanded impatiently.
“Are Fallen Grigori still able to reproduce?”
He closed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists against his sides. “All can beget demonic children, but the most powerful can still impregnate humans.”
“Then the Nephilim you hunt, some of them are sired by Fallen Grigori?”
“They all are, Alyssa. If the Grigori is not Fallen before he lays with a Daughter of Man, the act seals his fate. It is forbidden!”
His hostility compounded her fear. He was speaking in generalities, but her mind had focused on Rosalind. “How many Nephilim are allowed to live and how many are destroyed?”
“You know the answer. Why are you doing this to me?”
“Are any of them saved? Is it only a matter of time for Rosalind?” He was right. She found no comfort in his answers. She had only managed to make them both miserable.
“We find a rare few who inherit their father’s angelic nature while it is still pure. But the vast majority must be destroyed.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, shaking. Hearing what he had been through tore at her heart, but Rosalind loomed before them, even larger than his past. He had already determined Rosalind was not human, so she must—
“Do you understand now?” His sharp tone cut through her troubled thoughts. “Lust cost my order everything. We fed our carnal natures until we were ruled by them. We devoured any female flesh within our reach. That beast is still very much a part of me. If I lose my hold on it, to even the smallest degree, I am afraid it will control me again. I am afraid I will revert to the creature I was then. Not even for you will I risk such a fate.”
They balanced on a razor’s edge. His mission loomed from one side, threatening to tear them apart. His past pelted them from the other. The temptation to retreat, to leave him with his torment and surrender to the mist called to Alyssa. They had so much to overcome.
Do you love him? The voice was so pure and confident it took Alyssa a moment to recognize it as her own. Her angelic nature, the protective, selfless part that had been neglected for so long, stirred and stretched, waking from its slumber. Does he need your love?
“What did you feel for these women?” She kept her voice soft, compelling. “When you held them in your arms and joined your body to theirs, did you feel only lust?”
“Aye! It was new and intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough.”
Shame and regret radiated off Sariel. They were uncomfortable emotions, but Alyssa was thrilled with her ability to sense them. “And what do you feel when you touch me?”
He considered the question for a long while. His gaze caressed her face and then he looked into the fire. “I feel more deeply for you than I did for the Daughters of Man.”
“Then you needn’t be…afraid.” She hesitated over the word, not wanting to anger him again. “If tenderness guides your hand, it will hold the beast at bay.”
“You don’t know that,” he snapped. “You have no idea what I was like back then, how ruthlessly I pursued my desires.”
“I know what you’re like now.” She took a step toward him, her need to touch him, to comfort him nearly overwhelming. But if she reached for him, he’d turn away. “I feel only tenderness when you touch me. I’m not afraid of the beast. We can tame it together.”
“You’ve never seen the beast, or you’d be terrified.”
Frustrated by his stubbornness, she poked him in the chest. “Then what do you suggest we do? Ignore these feelings? Deprive ourselves what comfort we can find in this uncertain world?”
He glanced down at the spot where her finger had collided with his chest. Was he so used to people bowing and scraping? Did no one stand up to him? She wanted to laugh. Of course they didn’t. He was prince of the most ancient angelic order. Who would dare rile Prince Sariel?
“How do you see this ending?” His quiet, thoughtful tone calmed her seething emotions, made her seriously consider the question.
“I see the mist forever banished and you standing at my side. Is that so much to expect?”
“And what becomes of me? Do I sacrifice my immortality and abandon my purpose to grow old at your side?”
He was speaking of Gideon and Naomi. She resented his dismissal of the choices they had made. “Would that be so terrible a fate?”
“Aye. For me it would be unbearable. I have responsibilities. I protect humanity from an insidious threat, a threat I and my kind created. Others rely on me. My order must come first.”
Another complication. She sighed, even as determination surged through her. Anything worth having was worth the fight. Her battle for Sariel had just begun.
“None within your order are allowed to love?”
The challenge in her question took Sariel back to his conversation with Gadrayel. The Grigori were allowed to choose permanent mates so long as they were also Grigori. It was only the Daughters of Man who were forbidden to them. “You are not Grigori. I don’t honestly know if I’m allowed to love you or not.”
She smiled and placed her hand against his chest. “Love doesn’t often wait for permission. I know it flared within me when our eyes first met. I was surrounded by conflict and confusion, and you drew me like a star shining in the night.” Her cheeks flushed and she glanced away, but her hand lingered on his chest. “Aren’t I fanciful all of a sudden?”
He covered her hand with his, pressing her palm against his heart. “The attraction is mutual. I think you know that.”
“When two members of your order wish to be together, what do they do?”
Her gaze returned to his and Sariel’s heart lurched within his chest. She was so beautiful, so vulnerable, so willing to trust. The thought of hurting her terrified him. Despite her calm assurance, she would not survive the beast. “They ask me to bless their union and then they are one.”
“So bless our union, so we can be one. I’m tired of being alone. Aren’t you?”
* * * * *
Enos clasped his hand over the woman’s mouth, tired of her shrill screams. She writhed beneath him as he thrust into her with brutal force. He had mastered this game. It was almost too easy now. They came to him willingly, eager for the pleasure he prom
ised with gentle kisses and tender caresses. He aroused them to the point of madness then revealed his demonic nature with the first thrust of his mighty cock.
“Haven’t lost your taste for human flesh, I see.”
The woman went limp beneath him and Enos ground his teeth. Couldn’t Paimon have waited until he finished? “Unlike you, I seldom welcome an audience.” Leaving the human sprawled and senseless on his bed, he turned to confront his uninvited guest. He didn’t bother to dress. Paimon had seen him naked more times than he cared to remember.
She gazed with licentious interest at his erect shaft. “Shall I take you in my mouth while you explain why you’re wasting time between the thighs of a mortal? You seemed to enjoy my skill when I saw you last.”
The thought of having her on her knees before him excited him more than the promise of her kiss. He grabbed her by the hair and urged her to her knees on the wood-planked floor. The act required far less force than he would have liked. She could at least pretend.
She closed her fingers around him and slowly slid her hand from base to tip. “Why are you dallying with a human when you have work to do?”
He jerked back on her hair. She gasped and he thrust into her mouth. “First, I work with you, not for you.” He pushed deep, well into her throat. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t struggle. “Second, there have been unforeseen complications.” She sucked hard and he cried out as pleasure spiked through his groin. Damn it, he would not let her take control! Pressing her face between his hands, he slowed his pace, ignoring the taunting swirl of her tongue. “Third, I have a surprise for you.”
She paused, trying to pull back so she could speak. He laughed and thrust deeply. She grasped his hips and pushed, but he held her firmly, continuing the steady slide into her mouth.
“You’ll have your answers when I’m finished. You interrupted my pleasure, now satisfy me!” Glaring up at him, she maintained a tight circle with her lips, but no longer caressed him with her tongue or drew upon him.
He pulled out and planted his fists on his hips. “What’s the matter, Paimon? Can you only find pleasure when you’re in control?”
“I find pleasure when and where I choose. You will not dictate to me!”
“Are you sure about that?”
Her dark eyes narrowed, hostile and glistening. It was so seldom that he held the upper hand. He intended to savor every moment.
“What have you learned?” she demanded with her gaze as well as her voice. “I know that smug expression. Tell me.”
He laughed. “I’m going to return this mortal to her bed. I want you naked and ready for me when I return.”
“Forget the mortal. She’s unconscious. Tell me—”
He lifted the human in his arms. “Naked and ready for whatever I command.” Her gaze flared at the last word and Enos laughed again. “Oh, I will command you, Paimon, and you will obey.”
* * * * *
Alyssa held her breath, waiting for Sariel to respond to her semi-playful suggestion. She knew he was tired of being alone. Their passions wouldn’t have flared so brightly had they been content with their circumstances. They responded to each other with a need born of loneliness and want.
“I cannot bless my own union,” he mused. “Still there must be someone…”
His words trailed away, but Alyssa was pleased. At least he was considering the concept.
Satisfied for the moment with their progress, she exhaled and digressed. “Who does Rosalind believe Gadrayel to be?”
“Her gamekeeper.” Amusement gleamed in his gaze as the firelight caressed his rugged features. “I have instructed him to only appear to her as such. There is no need to overwhelm her completely.”
Alyssa tucked a stray curl behind her ear and offered a soft smile. “I think it’s too late for that. Rosalind is well and truly overwhelmed.” She thought of all she had learned, all Sariel had assisted her in remembering. “Even I am overwhelmed. I’d like to meet him.”
“Gadrayel?” She nodded. “Why?” His voice snapped with defensiveness. “I told you he will guard her with his life.”
“You also told me he is tempted by her. I would like to meet the man Rosalind ran to for refuge. She is my ward after all. If he has an interest in her, I have an interest in him.”
Sariel clasped his hands behind his back, studying her in thoughtful silence for a moment. “He is with her now. Speak to him with your angelic voice and he will appear.”
It was a challenge of sorts, an opportunity to further her spiritual awakening. “Are you coming with me?”
“Nay. I have another matter to attend.”
Accepting his response with a nod, Alyssa headed for the stairs leading to the upper levels. Rosalind had reluctantly moved into the master’s chambers the year before. Alyssa eased the door open and slipped inside the richly appointed bedchamber.
She’d drawn the bed hangings earlier when Rosalind agreed to lie down. The scene appeared undisturbed. Late afternoon sunlight filtered through the wooden shutters, casting a golden haze across the room. If Sariel had commanded the other angel to stand guard, Alyssa had no doubt he was here. Still she saw nothing, sensed no one.
Speak to him with your angelic voice and he will appear.
That would be simple enough if she remembered how to use her angelic voice. She sighed audibly. These things should be natural to her, instinctual, but four hundred years was a long time to wander through the mist.
While she’d struggled with her feelings for Sariel, she’d heard her angelic voice. The memory made her heart flutter and warm tingles danced down her spine. Focusing on the tone, the unique inflection, she reproduced the sound.
“Gadrayel. I would like a word with you.” She watched for a glimmer, a spark indicating his location.
“Do you intentionally change your appearance?” She spun toward the unfamiliar voice. The man—male—stood nearly as tall as Sariel, but his hair was dark, as were his eyes.
“Why do you ask?”
“When I saw you at court your hair was blonde and your eyes were gray.”
Did her appearance change or had he confused her with someone else? “We met at court?” She narrowed her gaze on his handsome face. Sariel said he was pretending to be a gamekeeper. Rosalind wouldn’t accept his role if they had met at court.
“I saw you at court.” His smile was indolent, yet engaging. “No one saw me.” A stray sunbeam revealed the true color of his eyes, the rich green of midsummer leaves.
“How long has Rosalind been sneaking away to spend time with you?” She shot right to the heart of the matter.
“I noticed her spying on me several times before I spoke with her.” He paused and looked at the enclosed bed. “I would never harm Lady Rosalind. You understand—”
“I understand you would have destroyed her had you believed her nature corrupt.” He didn’t object, so she continued. “I’m thrilled she’s still alive, but why does the debate continue?”
“What has Sariel told you?”
A manipulative half-truth sprang to mind. The words were on the tip of her tongue before she realized what she was about to do. She bit back the lie and slipped her hands through the slits in her cotehardie. I must speak only truth or reality will change. She chose her words with the utmost care. “I asked you why you’re still here. Why is this decision taking so long?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. Another smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Some people are more complicated than others.”
His answer didn’t please her, but she understood his evasion. Sariel had used the same strategy. They knew more than they were willing to say, which was probably for the better. Every time she thought about their harming Rosalind, rash and reckless plots to save her ward formed within her mind. “Is Rosalind’s life still at risk or is it now a matter of deciding what to do with her?”
“These are questions for Sariel. Why did he send you to me?”
Gadrayel lacked the inherent authori
ty that characterized Sariel’s every word and movement, but it was easy to see what attracted Rosalind to this male. His pleasing appearance and quiet confidence would appeal to most females. “I wanted to speak with you. Rosalind is my ward and I care about her deeply. What are her feelings for you?”
“Rosalind is not a child. She is a young woman experiencing the first stirrings of her carnal nature.”
“Carnal nature. You Grigori are rather fond of that phrase.”
“We Grigori invented the phrase.” His eyes sparkled merrily.
Irritation sparked despite his charm. How could he make light of the topic? “Have you…compromised Rosalind?”
His amusement vanished. “She wanted me to. She did her best to seduce me so I would be compelled to wed with her.”
“Because by wedding you, she frees herself from me.” Alyssa sighed, defeated by the realization. She had tried so hard to mentor Rosalind, to teach her and guide her—
“She loves you very much, milady. You have taught her more than you realize.”
“Can all Grigori read minds?” She stiffened at the ease with which he analyzed her.
“I read your expression, not your mind. Sariel alone can see into a person’s memories and hear their thoughts. I have…other abilities, but your thoughts are safe with me.”
“Is my ward?”
“Until such time as I can lawfully make her mine, I will not touch her.”
Angels could speak only truth, but the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. There was some hidden meaning to his words.
* * * * *
“Thank you for coming, sir.” Waiting for Michael’s corporeal body to finish absorbing Heaven’s light, Sariel bolted the door to the counting room. When the blinding illumination dimmed, he ventured a glance at the archangel. Strength and authority emanated from him. Even without his flaming sword Michael was impressive. “I know your time is precious.”
“Sir?” One of Michael’s golden eyebrows arched in challenge. “Your order outranks mine. By rights I should bow to you.”
“My order is all but abolished and I am imposing on you.”
Echoes and Embers (Rebel Angels) Page 10
