by Jon F. Merz
“I know it,” said Zero. “And like I said, I’m grateful you were here. But it ends today. I’m going to drive you to the airport and then I’m going to vanish for awhile.”
“Vanish?”
“I’ve got a lot of leave built up,” said Zero. “I can afford to disappear for a month. You can’t. And I don’t want anyone from the Council getting curious about your location. So head to Greece and rendezvous with that pretty stewardess you met and have a good time frolicking on the beach.”
“While you chase more bad guys.”
“Ideally,” said Zero. “First I have to find them. And I’ll do that better if I’m on my own. It’s no offense to you, but in this case, I think one of us working the angles will attract less attention than two.”
“You’re just saying that to get rid of me.”
“Maybe. But it’s also true. If I get into deep shit, then I’ll call for you. But otherwise, it’s best we go our separate ways and pretend this thing in Egypt never happened.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Don’t I know it,” said Zero. “You ready?”
I finished zipping up my gear bag, threw a look around the hotel room and finally nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
We rode the elevator downstairs and passed by the cafe where we’d eaten breakfast a few days prior. As we did so, I noticed the waitress Wajiah look up and smile at Zero. I looked at Zero and he wore a bright grin on his face as well. He continued to smile all the way into the taxi until we’d pulled away from the hotel.
“Some smile you had there, partner.”
Zero’s face instantly returned to its usual stoic self. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Obviously not. But that waitress really seems to think you’re the shit.”
“You think?”
“It wasn’t exactly that hard to see, pal.” I nudged him. “By the way, are you still planning to stay at that hotel?”
“No,” said Zero. “I’ll have to find another place to hang out at. Some place off the grid, if possible. I’m sure there will be a great deal of activity around Murad and his men.”
“But you don’t have your bag with you.”
“Huh?” Zero looked down and then smirked. “Oh yeah, you’re right.” He sighed. “Oh well, I’ll just have to get a lift back to the hotel and collect my things later.”
“Later.”
“Yeah.”
I looked at him for a few more seconds and then just chuckled to myself.
We rode the rest of the way in silence and I spent the time watching the city life of Cairo for the last time. The taxi sped toward the airport and let us off in front of the terminal. Inside, I bought a first class ticket to Athens and then sat down to wait for the flight to be called. Zero sat down next to me.
He was silent for a time and then turned to me. “You think you and this stewardess are going to hit it off?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Does anyone ever know if a relationship is going to work out?”
“Love at first sight,” said Zero. “A whole lot of people seem to put a lot of credence in it.”
“Do you?”
Zero sniffed. “I don’t know what I put my faith in these days. Myself, I suppose.” He leaned into me. “My good friends that I can trust with my life.” He sighed. “Beyond that? I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like all I’ve ever done is skip from one place to another without any chance to put down roots anywhere.”
“Damn, you’re getting all sentimental lately.”
“You’re young, Lawson. You haven’t yet seen all the shit I have. All the heartache. The tears. The betrayals. It’s an unfortunate aspect of our business. What we do, you can’t not see this sort of stuff. It wears on you. Drags you down. Not always, but sometimes. Late at night when you stare into a glass of beer or into the flames of a fire, you remember the shit. You see the faces of those you killed. The friends you’ve lost. You feel the weight of the world come down on you then. It’d be nice to know that somewhere out there, someone beautiful would be able to give you a shoulder to cry on from time-to-time.”
“I don’t know that I can help you with that.”
Zero smiled. “I wouldn’t ask you to. But a beautiful woman? Someone with a kind soul and compassion in her heart? That would be something to aspire to, wouldn’t it? Something to search the entire world for?”
“If you knew it existed,” I said. “I don’t know that it does.”
“We’ll never know unless we try to find it.” Zero glanced around us, his tradecraft instincts forever intact. “And wouldn’t it be worth the time and effort to try to find it?”
“I guess so. But I don’t know that I’m ready for that type of relationship just yet.”
Zero patted me on the thigh. “You will be some day, Lawson. Some day. You won’t know it at first but then someone special will walk into your life and it will be like everything you’ve experienced so far has been missing something. She’ll be that piece. That one little thing that suddenly makes your life complete.”
“You’ve experienced this before?”
Zero shook his head. “Nope. But I’m an optimist.”
“The hell.”
Zero laughed. “It’s true. Yeah, I’m crusty. Yeah, I’m a sarcastic bastard. Sometimes I’m even a cynic. But I’m also an optimist. I think it’s almost a requirement to do what we do.”
“How so?”
“You can’t dive as deep down into the darkness as we do if you think the entire world is always dark. We need something to strive for, some sort of light. A goodness. It’s what keeps us from going off the rails and sinking into inconsolable depression. That one spark. We know it’s out there and I think that’s why we do what we do: to find that goodness and bring it out in the light for everyone to see. So we can make the lives of others - people who will never know about us or what we do - better.”
“I almost wish I had this on tape,” I said.
“You can dismiss it or not,” said Zero. “But some day in the future, you’ll remember the things I say. And you’ll look back on this op and think about what you did. What I did. Together. And then you’ll know what I say is the truth.”
“It’s not just about Nadi, is it? The reason you’re staying, I mean.”
Zero nodded at the display. “Your flight is boarding.”
We stood and I gave Zero a quick hug. “I sincerely hope she’s the one you’re looking for, pal. You deserve it.”
Zero’s eyes gleamed. “There’s only one way to find out, right?”
I clapped him on the shoulder, grabbed my bag, and grinned. “Only one way. Take care of yourself, Zero.”
“You do the same, Lawson.”
Then I turned and walked toward my gate. I cast a look over my shoulder.
But Zero was already gone.
About the Author
Jon F. Merz is the author of over 30 novels ranging from urban fantasy to espionage and sword & sorcery fantasy. Prior to becoming a full-time writer Jon served in the United States Air Force, protected a variety of Fortune 500 executives, and taught defensive tactics to government agencies like the State Department, Bureau of Prisons, and others. He is an active CrossFitter, a 5th degree black belt in Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu, enjoys doing GORUCK challenges, and in 2014 started modeling and acting in television commercials. He lives each and every day by the motto, “Who Dares Lives.” He and his wife Joyce (who runs the hugely popular food blog The Tasty Page) live with their two sons in suburban Boston.
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Also by Jon F. Merz
The Fixer: A Lawson Vampire Novel
The Invoker: A Lawson Vampire Novel
The Destructor: A Lawson Vampire Novel
The Syndicate: A Lawson Vampire Novel
The Price of a Good Drink: A Lawson Vampire Story
The Courier: A Lawson Vampire Mission
The Kensei: A Lawson Vampire Novel
Enemy Mine: A Lawson Vampire Story
The Ripper: A Lawson Vampire Novel
The Crucible: A Lawson Vampire Novel
Incident at Palmyra: A Lawson Vampire Mission
The Shepherd: A Lawson Vampire Mission
Mission: Malta: A Lawson Vampire Mission
The Enchanter: A Lawson Vampire Novel
A Fog Of Fury: A Lawson Vampire Mission
The Infiltrator: A Lawson Vampire Mission
A Forced Disappearance (DARK OPS 1): A Lawson Vampire Mission
The Succubus: A Lawson Vampire Novel
